What to do with friends and family?

[Russian_BANDit_inNY 4]

Got my surgery day yesterday.

All of a sudden my friends and family turned on me. Were they hopping I will not get approved? or pass psyche evaluation? lol

They compare quitting smoking to stopping overeating... I quit cold turkey when had "live vs smoke" diagnosis. They INSIST I can change my eating habit... They insist I don't need to risk my life to go under a knife and loos weight myself... DON'T THEY KNOW ME??? HELLO?!?!?!

I am shocked, confused, mad, sad...

Still.... they know me best..... start to question myself? and my decision?

Anyone had the same or similar reaction from the closest people?

[stateofzen 46]

They don't know you best. YOU know you best. This is your decision, no one else's.

If you've done your research and feel like this is the best path for you, ignore the family noise. It's really easy to manage someone else's life from the passenger seat and tell them what they *should* do because you don't have to live it. You have to live your life, not your family or friends, -- so you get to make the decisions.

Best to you!

[Phranp 46]

Got my surgery day yesterday.

All of a sudden my friends and family turned on me. Were they hopping I will not get approved? or pass psyche evaluation? lol

They compare quitting smoking to stopping overeating... I quit cold turkey when had "live vs smoke" diagnosis. They INSIST I can change my eating habit... They insist I don't need to risk my life to go under a knife and loos weight myself... DON'T THEY KNOW ME??? HELLO?!?!?!

I am shocked, confused, mad, sad...

Still.... they know me best..... start to question myself? and my decision?

Anyone had the same or similar reaction from the closest people?

I'm afraid I have to disagree with you just a bit ... they don't know you best, YOU KNOW YOU BEST. Do what YOU think is best for you, trust yourself. Remember you're talking about the rest of YOUR life, not theirs.

Good luck to you on your journey!

~Fran

[honk 780]

Have you been overweight your whole life? Have you lost weight before only to regain it? I have. Three times age 12, 17, 30 I lost well over 100 lb and gained it all back and more. They need to get the message that you are more likely to die of a heart attack or stroke than having this surgery. If you needed to have gall bladder surgery or or suffer crippling pain(trust me I know); would they tell you to live with it? If you needed a pace maker would they tell you to think yourself well? Probably not.

I started exercising and working on my eating habits because I had horrible knee pain. I lost 30 pounds. That did no however stop me from having a stroke at 39. The way I see it I dodged a bullet. Four months later I went to a seminar. Due to the blood clot I ended up having to wait 7.5 months to have the surgery. I did'nt do any of the last supper stuff I went on a strict diet and lost 50 pounds. One of my sisters ask me if I felt I should have the surgery since I had lost so much weight. I reminder her that I am an excellent dieter but that I can't sustain it forever (my idea of dieting is complete denial of all things fun and tasty).

[Russian_BANDit_inNY 4]

I never understood the advantages of forums.

I sure do now :-)

THANK YOU for your responses. It is priceless to have people who are in the same place or/and understand where I am coming from.

THANK YOU Thank YOU thank YOU!!!

[Sammi77 0]

That is the exact reason I'm not telling anyone in my family!! They would do the same thing. My husband and Daughter know, but no one else.

[savingface 0]

I agree. I am also keeping it under wraps because I want my privacy while I work through this new beginning.....

That is the exact reason I'm not telling anyone in my family!! They would do the same thing. My husband and Daughter know, but no one else.

[zachbuckeye3 0]

I agree. I am also keeping it under wraps because I want my privacy while I work through this new beginning.....

I also agree! ...I have only told my Mom (because she is driving me to get the surgery tomorrow) and my husband. I don't plan on telling anyone else. I have enough to work on with myself without having everyone else's opinions thrown in.

You know yourself and you have made the right decision. Don't doubt it !!!

[Sha'sJourney 1]

I don't think you should worry about what other people think. If they are negative about your decision, then obviously they are not the people you want around. This is a decision for YOU and YOU to make. It is to change YOUR life. Not anyone else's.

The only people I told were my Husband, Mom and my best friend. They have all been very supportive and as far as I'm concerned no one else needs to know.

Take care and good luck.... its going to be a great new beginning for YOU!

[Cocoabean 430]

There will always be naysayers. There will always be those who don't understand. There will always be those who truly worry for you.

My sister has severe stomach problems. She could not understand my willingness to risk ANY possible complications to my digestive tract. She still thinks I was nuts. But she loves me and supports my decision to take care of my health as I see fit.

You need to say thank you for your opinion, but I have made my decision.

food addicts cannot go cold turkey and avoid food as smokers and alcoholics can. Not that the road to sobriety is easy. It is different. Quitting smoking is no easy thing, either. I am assuming you are not entering into this lightly. You have tried all options that are easier than major surgery to help you get your health under control. If they had worked, you would not even be considering this last step.

Diets fail. We have proved it over and over again. WLS succeeds. You have to do your share. But you should have done gobs of research by now, and know what you are getting into. Tell them you appreciate their concern, but you are well aware of the risks and the benefits outweigh them. You are ready to proceed in this next chapter of your life!

[Russian_BANDit_inNY 4]

Hi guys...

I am glad to report back that after some crying and hugging and debating.... my closest people are on board and support me 100%.

You are right, it is MY life, I know ME the best, and I would of had the surgery with their blessing or without. But I am glad I have support beyond this forum.

[Cocoabean 430]

Yay! Glad to hear things are well. Maybe it just became more of a reality for them when you had a date.

I turn the tides on my hubby all the time playing Devil's Advocate. It drives him crazy. I am just trying to make certain he is sure of things.