Need a good lie for nosy people

[LargeMediumSmall 3]

To tell or not to tell, that is the question.

[trishfish 1]

Cali...I agree regarding the chiro, but the comment about not wanting to tell anyone makes you worry that people are afraid they will fail...well that's just not fair.

I don't tell, not because I'm ashamed, but I just don't want to hear anyone else's opinion on it and risk peope who would either be verbally unsupportive or try to sabotage me.

I didnt tell very many people beforehand because I didn't want opinions either....but afterwards I told evryone because I figured what's done us done and if people want to give me their negative opinion I can and will set them straight! And do far I have had TWO people out of hundreds have a negative response (the one guy list 100+ lbs on his own and he told me I was being lazy and taking the easy way out...i told him that weight loss is weight loss and he should be happy that I an now healthy like him. The other guy I kust straight up said "if I wanted your opinion about what I should do with MY body I would have asked...." That shut him up fast) anyways I tell you this to encourage you to not be afraid to tell....for me it kind of holds me accountable. And I get daily questions about weight loss advice. We live in an obese nation....be proud that you have taken the step to not be a statistic anymore!

[trishfish 1]

Before I had surgery I only told a few people I was having it done. After I was off work for three weeks and came back on a light-duty status, it was a bit harder to not tell people who asked after me. But when I came back to work substantially lighter than I was prior to surgery, they all commented on how much better I looked, and many asked if I'd had weight loss surgery. (I work at a hospital, so it's harder to hide stuff like that.) After trying to dodge things with some folks, I finally figured, "What the hell?" and I ended up telling anyone who asked about it what I had done. I don't care who knows. Everyone has been great about it, and some are openly jealous.

One side effect is that several people have asked me about the surgery, about insurance, and where they can learn more about the process. The ones most interested are people who seriously need to have surgery, so maybe by being honest I may actually help some folks out.

My Mom taught me to always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.

Dave

My dr had an amazing referral system. If someone I refered to therm hours to a seminar I get $25 if they set up an appointmrnt with the surgeon and nutritionist I get another $25. If they have surgery I get $100. So I tell anyone and everyone! He is the to bariatric surgeon in the state if indiana so I an proud to call him my dr. I jusy want everyone to feel as great as I feel now!

[karewpah 173]

Trishfish...I'm not afraid...it's just none of their business. I never told people when I had miscarriages or other personal things...simply because I'm a more private person. Don't assume it's fear related when you really don't know me as a person. I think it's great you tell everyone...great for you...it's not how I chose to live my life

[Jess55 97]

I would probably tell my Dr. but then again people have reasons not to tell people. I did not tell my sister 'til after I had surgery, well the next time I saw her which was Christmas, 5 days after surgery. My sister is a very opinionated person and I was afraid she would say something negative and I did not want to hear it and my mom completely understood. She was actually ok with it and did not really say much about it. She is overweight as well, not to the extent I was, but she is taller than I am, so it is more spread out on here.

[txprime 0]

I agree with others on telling the chiro.. after all chiros are "doctors" as well yes? BUT, I have a kind of funny story.. I was at the grocery buying a load of Jello for the first two weeks and pudding for the next two, plus vat size boxes of chicken broth, so the check out girl said "wow, that's a lot of Jello, what are you making?" While my first instinct was to be a smart ass and say I was having a jello wrestling contest at my house and was she interested in intending.. I said I just had bariatric surgery. I got the puzzled deer in headlights stare in return. Most poeple do not know the word "bariatric" and since most people also do not want to look ignorant will not ask what that is and just let it pass. This is my plan for strangers/aquaintances. I am pretty open with everyone else... I'm a successful adult and make my own decisions and anyone that is important to me knows this. Happy New Year everyone!

[imagine923 4]

I didn't tell a lot of people, because I figured that not all surgery needs to be advertised. Now, if someone asks me what I had done, or notices that I am losing weight and looking healthier, I'll gladly tell them the I've made a lifestyle change. If they ask HOW then I will tell them that I've had lap band.

I don't feel like a loser because I had to resort to surgery, I've never had trouble losing the weight, it's keeping it off that I have trouble with....until NOW. Now I wlll be successfull and I WILL live a healthy happy life.

Frankly, the people that really care will be the ones to support me. The other's opinions don't really matter. I didn't do this for them, I did this for me.

Congratulations on your decision to have lapband, and keep moving forward and don't look back.

[mattie7632 24]

LOL I love it! My first thought also would have been something smartass like that! Ahhh if only we can say what we think sometimes! Thanks for the crack up!

I agree with others on telling the chiro.. after all chiros are "doctors" as well yes? BUT, I have a kind of funny story.. I was at the grocery buying a load of Jello for the first two weeks and pudding for the next two, plus vat size boxes of chicken broth, so the check out girl said "wow, that's a lot of Jello, what are you making?" While my first instinct was to be a smart ass and say I was having a jello wrestling contest at my house and was she interested in intending.. I said I just had bariatric surgery. I got the puzzled deer in headlights stare in return. Most poeple do not know the word "bariatric" and since most people also do not want to look ignorant will not ask what that is and just let it pass. This is my plan for strangers/aquaintances. I am pretty open with everyone else... I'm a successful adult and make my own decisions and anyone that is important to me knows this. Happy New Year everyone!

[mattie7632 24]

I don't want to tell because I'm ashamed or afraid of failing, it's just personal is all. I can run the mouth with the best of em, but some things I don't care to freely discuss, such as my marriage, relationships, doctors appointments and surgeries. I don't like feeling like I have to tell some people--My chiropractor is also my CLIENT-wherein lies the problem. I have no problem telling my "chiropractor", I have a problem telling MY CLIENT!!! Ahhhh, another lesson learned...

[PhillyGirl 0]

I told everyone that I was having a hernia fixed as well as some internal scarring removed (I had major surgery last year). Both are lies. Only three people know, and that's how I want it. Some people are just too nosy and one of my co-workers is an obsessive/compulsive bulemic and makes fun of fat people anyway (always sooooo nice to hear her). This is my private business and as I have been on a diet for the last five months or so (and ~25 pounds down), everyone will think that I am one of those "lucky" dieters. If I hear of anyone considering bariatric surgery I probably would speak with them, though, but I'd make it clear that it is my decision who knows and who doesn't.

[Dave_NW 92]

I don't want to tell because I'm ashamed or afraid of failing, it's just personal is all. I can run the mouth with the best of em, but some things I don't care to freely discuss, such as my marriage, relationships, doctors appointments and surgeries. I don't like feeling like I have to tell some people--My chiropractor is also my CLIENT-wherein lies the problem. I have no problem telling my "chiropractor", I have a problem telling MY CLIENT!!! Ahhhh, another lesson learned...

I can see the dichotomy you face. Maybe you should have a direct, face-to-face with him, and be frank. "I'm telling you as my chiropractor, and not as my client. I'm sharing this with you because I feel my chiropractor should know about this..." Or words to that effect. If he can make the distinction between the two hats he wears in your life, it may work the way you want. On the other hand, if you aren't comfortable, maybe it's time to find a new chiropractor. ???

Dave

[txprime 0]

Mattie- I understand you are in a sticky wicket situation... you seem like a reasonable person and I am sure that you will figure an amenable way to handle that is comfortable for you. Sorry if that s a deflective answer!

[imagine923 4]

I figure that most surgeries are on a "need to know" basis. I did not tell a lot of people because they just don't need to know. When I start losing weight, IF they ask, I will tell them that I have made a lifestyle change. If they persist and want to know how, I will tell them I had lap band.

Most people will probably stop at the lifestyle change and congratulate me and move on.

I don't think you need to lie, you just don't need to tell them everything. A lifestyle change should be enough said.

As far as a healthcare provider, I would probably tell them only because of the lap band itself. He shouldn't laugh or talk about it with anyone based on HIPAA requirements. If he does, I would find a new chiropractor.

[jlh465 2]

I told people in my family that I had a hiatal hernia repair and that was it. My mother is the only one who knows about the lap band. I also told one person at my work and one person within my inner circle of friends. That way, if family or friends mention that I'm not eating enough, blah blah blah, I have at least one person within the groups I interact with to defend me (she's fine, she's just eating smaller portions - we should all be eating smaller portions, etc). I may tell others one day that I had the lap band and not just a hernia repair, but for now I want to keep it personal. Just until I see that its working for me and I'm working for it.

[mattie7632 24]

Thanks Everyone! Great Responses! Maybe I'll just tell the chiropractor/client that my pain in the arse clients are stressing me to the point that I'm now losing weight....LOL!