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Anyone having trouble "seeing" themselves thin?



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I love this thread. My husband picked me up tonight - I mean it - in his arms. We've been married for 13 years and he could not even carry me across the threshold when we can home from our honeymoon. My kids were laughing and cheering - even they know how remarkable it is.

I don't remember ever not feeling fat. Today, I weigh 229 lbs and I have 74 more pounds to go and I feel amazing. I have not weighed less than 235 lbs in the last 15 years and I have weighed 200 or more for more than 20 years.... 229 feels so amazing, and probably mostly because I am still on my way down - this is a short visit in my 220s ;)

I have a strange view of myself - told my therapist this pre-op. I have always felt like a skinny person trapped in a fat, unattractive body. Each pound that I lose, I feel like I am one step closer to reconciling my inside with my outside. I CANNOT WAIT - and I have NO IDEA what I will look like. SO EXCITED

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I am so far the oldest in this thread I'm 50. I too have been overweight for many years. I'm a twin my sister and I weighed 5 lbs 10 ozs together when we were born! She weighed 3 lbs 9 ozs and I weighed 2 lbs and 1 oz. We weren't supposed to live being two months premature, but turned 50 in August. Doctors have told me being that premature that in later life being overweight is the norm as the body went from one extreme to the other. I remember when puberty hit that is when our weight problems started and have just gone up ever since! I have two children ages 24 and 19 and every year since their births I've put on about 5 to 10 pounds a year until I reached my heaviest at 240 pounds. I am 5'4" tall and look like a blown up balloon! I have always dreamed of being thin and being able to buy clothes that aren't tents or tarps as I call them! I can't wait to walk into a department store and go to the Misses section and pick out the prettiest dress in the store! There will a party to follow!! I can't wait to see the new me!

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When I was 18 I weighed 115 (I'm 5' 7"), so I know how I'll look alllllll the way down. lol

My goal is 159. I am 33 now, so it's been a while since I was a normal weight. It'll be fun!

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I am 38. I too have always been a big girl. I had to shop at big girl stores in high school when my friends were shopping @ 3-5-7 (store that only carried small cute clothes... I am trying to see myself smaller but its difficult when you have been plus size all your life. I was approved yesterday so I am excited thinking about how I'm going to look by Spring!

Sorry, about your bff! Maybe this will encourage her to takes some steps toward reaching her true weight loss potential.

Best wishes!

I've been fat since I was 12, I'm 40 now. My mom asked me to think about how I'm going to look this time next year and I just can't picture it. I've not been thin since I was a child. The closest I ever got was when I got down to 200lbs in college and I thought that was pretty good. My husband married me at 250lbs my kids have only known me at this weght. I just don't know what I'm going to do with a thin me.

My BFF of 30 years asked me today if I was going to stop being her friend becuase I won't be fat anymore, she weighs the same as I do but is only 5'1" and I am 5'7". She's already not talking to me as much, she doesn't want me to do this, she doesnt' want to be the last fat friend,she's talked me out of this twice before, but not this time. When I was diagnosed with Hight blood pressure on my 40th birthday, I said enough , I'm doing this. My surgery is in 6 days.

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I am having a really hard time seeing myself as skinny so to speak. I have always been a big person and remember starting my first diet when I was 10 or so. That means I have been dieting off and on for 24 years so I only know being big.

The Dr wanted me to pick a goal weight and was really shocked when I told them 250 because they think I would still be overweight and they want me to go lower. My response was we will see when we get there and he agreed with me.

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This is a really good question - usually I troll the post-op forum, but your question prompted me to post. I am 3+ months post-op and am having a difficult time 'seeing' myself thin. I have lost 45 pounds since surgery and have been at this weight before with endless dieting, so it is familiar. I am looking forward to getting to my pre-pregnancy weight before I had my daughter and gained what I call my 'baby' fat. I should explain that my 'baby' is now 15 years old, and I have been struggling with my weight most of my life. I am looking forward to getting the weight off and finally being able to keep it off, and however it looks, it will be good! Thanks for the great question and all the replies thus far!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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