So Totally Frustrated with everything.....

[ruslgrl2 0]

Ok here is the situation..I went for my Pre op visit last Wednesday. My surgery is scheduled for July 16th at 10;30AM. Anyway i started my pre-op diet friday which consists of 2 Protein Shakes a day 1 for Breakfast and 1 for lunch. all the liquids i want and a sensable dinner at night(smart ones ect.) plus my Snacks. When i was weighed at the dr office I was at 313.6. I have followed this diet to a T and i went to my mother in laws house today. I weighed myself and her scale said 306. Now i know scales differ and im accepting of this.

When i told my sister in law i had lost a possible 7lbs SHE WENT OFF. Started yelling at me telling me if I just follow this and start watching what I ate I dont need the surgery. Screamed and said she was not saying another word. Then on top of it all Beings its the 4th of July she decided to cook out. Made everything I loved just to see if I would crack. Pork steak, Brats, Pork Chops, Corn on cob. OMG who would do this??? I mean really... I ran to Walmart and got my own scale and a few other things. Crystal light, Vitamins & Water. Anyways I get back to the house and no one will even speak to me except my husband. I had had enough. We left and came home. I opened the scale and weighed myself.. Now the new scale said I was 314.4...Ugggghhh how can this be? I am to the point of just giving up all together. Today has been the most worse day of this whole journey so far...

Thanks for listening. Jamie

[BetsyB 9]

First, I'm sorry you're facing not only little support, but what seems to be open hostility from others regarding your surgery. I wonder: is your sister-in-law overweight? Is her hostility stemming from jealousy?

As for the scale---I know it's really hard, but please try not to focus on it too much.

While some people do lose a lot on the preop diet, many (like me) do not.

It's not really aimed at weight loss. Its purpose is to reduce the size of your liver so that it's easier and safer for your surgeon to move his instruments around in your abdomen.

The low-carb, higher-protein approach does this by causing your liver to give up its stores of glycogen--a carbohydrate it stores for "emergency" use.

As the glycogen is depleted, your liver becomes smaller---and your surgery safer.

Any weight loss you may experience is a bonus--but it's really not the main goal.

I promise, once you're banded, and get to a good level of restriction, you will look back on your frustrations of today with real compassion. You will achieve your goals---and it will come far more easily than it would if you were to follow your sister-in-law's advice to "just do it" on your own.

The band is a wonderful tool. It takes hunger out of the equation. If some people want to view it as the easy way out, let them. It DOES make it easier.

But why NOT take the easier path? It's not like we all haven't tried umpteen times to do it on our own, right? And look how very successful we were(n't). We all wound up here, either on the path to banding, or banded.

There aren't very many of us who regret the decision, though!

I wish I had constructive advice regarding your family---it would be nice to have their support, but in its absence, you have, at least, a supportive husband. The rest may come around to see that you are making the decision is right for you. If not, well---you know what they say: living well is the best revenge! And you'll be doing LOTS of living well!

[PhillyGirl 0]

I am so sorry that you have people near you who want to sabotage you and your decisions. I have had people like that around me most of my life (my mother included); so, I am being very selective as to who I tell about my decision. Remember--you are making the RIGHT choice and it's your life. Sometimes it's hard to find people who love you and support you; thank goodness your husband is there for you (as is mine). And all of us are there for you too. People all over the world are in your corner. How cool is that?

[bigtruk_us 56]

You're doing what you feel is good for you.if you dont look after your own health.who will?right?...knock yourself out.keep looking to each day.keep looking forward.I cant believe I cancelled my RNY surgury.no outside pressure.just thought I know me better than a doctor.so I opted for you're wanting to get.good luck on your journey.im waiting for approval.

[honk 780]

First off your SIL is being a real witch. Let me get that out of the way first. I would consider that being the 4th they were probably already planning a cook out. How would they have all the supplies if they had'nt already planned it? I find that when something hits a nerve and someone wigs out there is a specific reason. Is your SIL overweight? Does she think that if you loose weight everyone will expect her to have surgery if you are a sucessful loser? If she is thin does she think you will somehow become competition? That she won't be the only one who can wear cute outfits and shoes? Is she the pretty one? Vain people don't like to be upstaged.

[Me3 0]

STOP weighing yourself on different scales at different times of the day!

We on average weight 3-7 pounds more towards the end of the day! Water retention, food, etc! And scales can differ SOOOO much! The one at work is almost 8 pounds off the one at home and home is 5 pounds off the one at the Dr's office!

YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!

And your not doing this for THEM!! If they can't be supportive due to whatever hang up THEY have, that isn't on you! It's on them!

We can't pick our families, but we CAN pick our friends and support group! I promise you can do this! Don't let ANYONE derail you from taking care of YOU! YOU are too important!

Email me anytime if you need to vent! I'm here!

Hugs,

Heather

[Sooz 0]

I love the support found here, and especially appreciate Betsy's words.

I am so happy my family has been supportive. To me it shows that they are concerned for my health and well being.

It seems extreme to some people, but they just don't realize how difficult it is to maintain weigh loss, and how discouraging and depressing AND unhealthy years of yoyo dieting can be.

[2beskinny 4]

So sorry that you are having a tough time right now. Your families determination to de-rail you is especially upsetting! Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to "make" them be supportive. You decided that this was the best choice for you. You have your husband's support and that is what matters the most. Move forward with confidence and grace throughout the rest of the process...let your unsupportive family members think what they want. In the end, they will either be proud or jealous of you. You can't control their feelings, only yours! I use these forums for support and advice as I have only told my husband and my sister. I'm not talking "daily" about this surgery to anyone. Reading the postings helps me to contemplate all the situations that I may be faced with by choosing this path.

I would recommend only using your own scale and weigh yourself naked in the am...then, that's it! No more stepping on! And please - stay off other's scales...yikes...nothing good has ever come from that

Best of luck to you!!!

[Astrasmom 1]

Ok here is the situation..I went for my Pre op visit last Wednesday. My surgery is scheduled for July 16th at 10;30AM. Anyway i started my pre-op diet friday which consists of 2 Protein shakes a day 1 for breakfast and 1 for lunch. all the liquids i want and a sensable dinner at night(smart ones ect.) plus my Snacks. When i was weighed at the dr office I was at 313.6. I have followed this diet to a T and i went to my mother in laws house today. I weighed myself and her scale said 306. Now i know scales differ and im accepting of this.

When i told my sister in law i had lost a possible 7lbs SHE WENT OFF. Started yelling at me telling me if I just follow this and start watching what I ate I dont need the surgery. Screamed and said she was not saying another word. Then on top of it all Beings its the 4th of July she decided to cook out. Made everything I loved just to see if I would crack. Pork steak, Brats, Pork Chops, Corn on cob. OMG who would do this??? I mean really... I ran to Walmart and got my own scale and a few other things. Crystal light, Vitamins & Water. Anyways I get back to the house and no one will even speak to me except my husband. I had had enough. We left and came home. I opened the scale and weighed myself.. Now the new scale said I was 314.4...Ugggghhh how can this be? I am to the point of just giving up all together. Today has been the most worse day of this whole journey so far...

Thanks for listening. Jamie

So very sorry that you are facing this. Everyone here has given you some really good advice.

Understand this. You are in this for yourself. Like most of us, we have tried the diets. Sometimes they work sometimes they don't. Me personally, they worked...for awhile and then the weight came back twice as hard. There are people out there that just don't understand. Some of it is out of jealousy, some of it is because they don't know much about the process and after all it is major surgery, so it could be fright too. As hard as it might be I would simply tell your family, "I am sorry that you feel the way that you do, but this is my decision and if you can not abide by my wishes then I will have to distance myself until after my surgery is done. Hopefully after you see that it was the right decision for me, you will then understand. I am sorry and I love you." And then if that doesn't work and they keep pushing you, then unfortunately you have no choice but to distance yourself. I know that it doesn't help because it's your husbands family and if he is there to support you, then he will also understand your reasoning.

Meanwhile do not weight yourself. The scale is our enemy. It's a tool to discourage weightloss. If you feel that you must weight yourself, use the same scale and only do it once a week. Also understand that your body is going through starvation mode. You could go up a few pounds. But it will come off eventually. Let me tell you from experience this is the best thing that I could have ever done for myself. I have only one regret, and that is that I didn't get it done sooner. I have lost 101 lbs and I went from a size 26 to a 14. I haven't been this weight or this happy since 1987. I no longer have any abmormalities due to weight and I don't have sleep apnea anymore. I used to be one of those people that thought that surgery was the easy way out. BOY was I wrong. There is nothing easy at all about this process. But it's a great tool to help you lose the weight and keep it off. I have lost a complete person on the outside, but I have gained another person on the inside. Meaning myself esteem is no longer in the crapper and I honestly, for the first time in many years, feel good about myself.

I wish you lots of luck. I hope that it all works out for you. Remember no matter who is in your life. Don't allow them to make your decisions for you. You do what is best for you. I would suggest finding a support group in your area if is available. They really do help.

[PuppyBandit 2]

Wow! Sorry for this stress. Your sister in law is out of line. I too wonder if she is either overweight but maybe smaller than you. Or the skinny one in the family and you make her feel better about herself by being overweight.

Also, stay away from all those different scales lol.

Use the same scales at the same time of day wearing the same type of clothing, or nothing at all.

Stay strong!

[ruslgrl2 0]

Hey everyone....sorry just now getting back to this... been busy on pre op diet. As for my sister in law... She is actually close to 190 i say. She is one of those "fad" girls. She has spent some money on the latest fad. "the shoes" She has been trying to lose weight for about 12 years now after her last child was born. She walks on her lunch hour but thats about all she does. Doesnt really watch what she eats or any of that. Even her bff said she is just jealous cause i will be skinny and healthier than her, and i am actually doing something about my health and the way i feel and she isnt.

I just ignore her and go on about my day. hehehe...she will never get me down again...

The Scale.......I havent stepped on a scale since this post was posted... I am just worried i havent lost any weight on this pre op... also ?? is it possible to drink too much Water in a day? i have been drinking about 6 -9 16.9 oz bottles. along with my Protein Shakes and my sensable dinner..

My Surgery is this Friday and i am freaking out but totally excited. Will post more later.

Smooches to all......Jamie

[lynnpi 0]

I am aloso schedule for Friday , I wish u the best of luck. This is about change and those around u may not be accepting of it . At the end of the day this surgery is making your life better , she is not walking in your shoes.

[tazamin 0]

Good Luck with Friday, my band was put in on Dec. 14th 2009. I was on a complete liquid diet for 2 weeks prior to my op. Only 1 lil incision was made, I feel better than ever BUT my weight loss is VERY slow. From pre-op to now I am only down 27lbs, 64lbs from my highest ever though. Don't give up, and no you can not drink too much Water throughout the day. Keep me posted!

[bethwa 0]

I am just starting this journey and am learning from all of you. Thanks for all of your stories and good luck! I rooting for you!!!

[renee1965 0]

Your doing this for you not her :thumbup:. I have the surgery on 4 August. I've only told 2 people because I know they support me. Good Luck!

Edited July 12, 2010 by renee1965