Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Living in the solution structured eating!



Recommended Posts

This article changed my whole outlook, I hope it is insightful for you. Long but worth reading!

I am working with a coaching client who had put on about 30 extra pounds

since reaching her I am working weight-loss- surgery goal. One of the actions she chose

to take to begin to work on her problem was recording what she was eating.

After two weeks of setting that goal and not meeting it, I suggested she

explore what else might work for her.

"But I want to record what I eat!" she said. "I'm just too embarrassed to

write it down and share it with you."

I assured her she was going to be sharing this information with someone who

well understood her problem, someone who had been battling the food demon

her whole life, as well.

"Okay, so if I take my embarrassment out of the equation," she reasoned,

"I'm still left with not wanting to admit what I'm eating. I don't want to

give up the foods I love. I want to eat them anytime I want!"

In the next breath she blurted out, "Why is it so hard to stop eating? I

want to be thin. I don't want to go back to not being able to get out of a

chair!"

Eating anything you want, whenever you want, is not freedom.

If you really think about it, eating with free abandon does not feel like

freedom for people who struggle with compulsive eating. In fact, being a

prisoner to food thoughts and mindless eating 24/7 can be miserable. Trapped

by cravings and food thoughts, a person will conduct their daily business

and make their daily decisions based on the eating they want to do.

"I can't go to the play tonight," you might say. "I am not feeling well. I

think I'm coming down with something."

But, what you are thinking may be, "I want to eat the rest of the bread I

bought today. With butter! But, I'll have to pace myself. It will take me

all evening to eat it." Does this scenario paint a picture of a person who

is experiencing freedom? Or does the bread have then trapped?

After weight loss surgery, many people get into the habit of grazing, or

eating small amounts frequently. That's what my client was doing. She

mistakenly believed grazing was a way to be free from the shackles of

dieting and food plans. And she hated diets and food plans!

Unstructured eating, however, can quickly lead to eating unhealthy foods in

unhealthy portions. (Yes, even if you tell yourself you'll never go back to

the unhealthy foods you used to eat.) A rebelliousness exists inside most

overeaters, and they don't want to give up their freedom to choose what to

eat and when. Step back, though and give yourself the "Dr. Phil" treatment.

Ask yourself, "And how well is my rebellious attitude working for me?

It's time to live in the solution.

Many people who struggle with their weight never lose obsessive thoughts

about food, but that's partly because they are not living in the solution.

The people who are the most successful at breaking free from the burden of

unhealthy eating, have transitioned from being rebellious (reactive) to

responsible (proactive). They spend some time planning. They establish a

routine with boundaries around their eating, so that they don't get carried

away.

Ironically, when you add some structure to your eating by making a food plan

for the day, an amazing sense of freedom can set in - freedom FROM

compulsive eating.

So, if you're struggling with obsessive food thoughts and overeating, make a

food plan today. Write it down and refer to it often. Give yourself the gift

of one day of freedom from overeating.

Oh, and the "rebellious" client I've been working with has lost 6 pounds

already.

She told me, "I'm amazed at how much less I obsess about food now that I

make my plan every morning. I just write down what I'm going to eat for the

day, and then I go live my life."

Want to Reprint this Newsletter? If you'd like to reprint any part of this

newsletter, do so with the following credit: From Small Bites, the email

newsletter for the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Inc. All

rights reserved.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is good reading and I can totally relate.

However, I have tried the food plan thing and it only makes me obsess even more. Different strokes for different folks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree.

As an adult I want the freedom to be able to make my own choices - good or bad.I don't want to have someone constantly telling me what to eat, when, how much etc. In fact that was one of the reasons I got banded - so that I could stop dieting.

I do believe though that it is important to learn to listen to your body and hear what it really wants.When you do this you might be surprised how often it wants really healthy stuff.

Sometimes mine wants:-

A nice hot bowl of oats.

Nice thick homemade veggie Soup

Roast chicken

Othertimes it wants

A piece of cake

chocolate.

So I listen to it.

If I ignore it and eat what I am supposed to then I run the risk that I will eat what I am supposed to and then think stuff it and eat whatever it was that I wanted in the first place anyway.By not having any forbidden foods they also lose their hold over you as you know that you can eat them if you really want to.

I am sure one of the reasons I got fat was because I had to finish my healthy food first before I could eat dessert.Now if I want cake instead of lunch I go for it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. I have to totally disagree with this one...at least for me. I've tried structured eating my whole life and it helped me lose great quantities of weight, until I always rebelled. Then I would gain back every last ounce and then some.

When I got my lap-band, I swore that 'structured eating" was over. I wanted to be normal and as you can see, it has worked for me. I don't count calories, carbs or Protein. I try to eat healthy, but if there's a great birthday cake at work, I have some. Freedom is the key for me and freedom does not involve spending my day contemplating every morsel that will go in my mouth.

On the plus side, I have seen people who like to live this way. I'm just not one of them. It makes me crazy.

Cindy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let me clarify. I was not agreeing with the thread starter, I was agreeing with BT that food plans are not for me because they make me obsess more!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Elcee,

I was responding to the thread starter as well. I guess I should use the quote feature, so that's clear. I think you, me and Bob are all on the same page with this one.

Cindy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×