Odee

Great news ! I am scheduled for the 4th also ! Best wishes to you.

Congratulations on your surgery date ! September is just around the corner.
Maybe your guilt is in part that you don't feel like you deserve this? You do though! If you're like me, you've tried the diets, the medical stuff, the shakes and the meals and the so on. And it hasn't worked. If we want to be healthy people, we need to make a change, and being fat is much more risky than having one surgery. Think of the % chance that you'd get diabetes being 100lbs overweight for 20 years. It's probably worlds higher than the 1% risk of leak, etc.
Good luck on the pre-op diet!

Hello,
Reading your story has touched me as I was just approved for surgery also and am scheduled for Sept. 4th. I too am very excited, but worry about how this will effect my girls. I have a 12 yr old and 10 yr. old girl. I want to be a good model for them and feel that not only am I letting myself down, but them as well. I can only hope and pray that after the surgery I will model good eating behaviors for them, as I don't have the self control to do that now. I also have R.A. I know that this surgery will not cure my R.A., but getting this weight off will have to make things easier for us to move. I wish you the best and hope to follow your story as we have so much in common. Take care!
Wendy

BTW...SHAPESHIFTER always has the most awesome responses to blogs I read...gracias!

I wrote about this today!
I dont know how I feel...I think its easier for me to tell people and have the WHATEVER attitude. But I dont want my husbands family to know...THEY ARE SOOOOOO CRITICAL and they all have an opinion! But they are also the people who keep asking when we are going to have a baby, even after knowing we have a problem in that area and it's very sensitive!
If you know that it is what you want and arent going to let negative people sway you then SPEAK FREELY!
Although no ones opinion is going to sway me not to do it, I really dont want to be nasty with anyone and I can feel that coming on.

i have told more friends then family of my intentions because once when i casually stated that i was thinking about surgery i was bombarded with remarks , some good and some ugly. So this time i have decided to wait untill closer to my date to tell my family. however i have told some people and have realized that you will need different attitudes to answer different people. With some i was able to share my thoughts and with others i had to take a short and strick approch. when they asked questions like "what made you decide to do THAT? its SOO dangerous." i would respond " it might sound drastic to yiu but for me it is something i have made my mind up to do. And i am really happy to have your support.
' just shut down thier negativity BEFORE they have a chance to ruin your friendship with rude remarks. after they think a while before they speak again they will realize two things: one its not thier choice and : two if they really care about you, they will support you.

I've chosen to tell people... for a few reasons. 1) One of my core values is honesty. When someone I care about asks me what I've been up to, it would be difficult not to mention the research that has consumed me, while considering a life altering procedure. (this does not mean I feel the need to announce it on facebook or to people who are more like acquantances.) 2) I *want* to hear the horror stories. I want to make an informed decision... if anyone I know has a friend that had this procedure who regretted it... I want to know! 3) I have been at this weight for 20 years, and everyone in my work and personal circles know that even on a diet of 1600 calories a day, I do not lose weight... when I am suddenly losing multiple pounds a week... I would rather not have to make up stories that are unbelievable. 4) If I should have any complications in the future, I want the people who surround me to understand how they can help me.
I've shared my concerns, my research, my possible future with more than 20 people... and have recieved overwhelming support, which has only affirmed the path I am on. This includes three of my doctors, and a friend I worried about telling the most, who cried with me, and offered to help me pay for the procedure. The people who love me want me to be healthy and pain-free (I'm already happy), and to avoid suffocating in my sleep (I have severe sleep apnea). I do know how very blessed I am, with a loving and supportive community. I wish the same for everyone!

I'm not ashamed of it but it is a controversial subject, especially among average weight people. They just won't understand because their attitude is "just eat less." I will be more than happy to discuss my journey with someone else who might benefit from it, but that's it. Why risk being judged by anyone for something I've done that's harmless to others and none of their business? The gossip / rumor mill is a nasty, vicious circle and it's always looking for fresh meat.

I told everyone, family, friends, and everyone at work because I didn't want to have everyone asked me why I was out for two weeks or you look like you losing weight what's your secret. I personally wanted people to asked me questions or express their concerns before the surgery and not after. My family and friends was very supportive (mostly)...work was also supportive except for 1 person but she was a big B to begin with so I expected it. One of my work friends had a lot of questions about my experience...later to find out he is having by pass surgery at the end of the month.
I am a very strong person and out spoken at work so I know most people wouldn't say anything negitive to my face which is fine by me. But people will talk and not always nicely...people still think this is a easy way out, which it's not...and some people will just think your sickly/pitiful/weak which is not the case because you are doing something that will hopefully extend your life and give you a better quality of life. To those people, I say "Yes, I cheated...cheated heart failure, high blood pressure, back and knee pain, depression, and an earily grave...so yes, I cheated".
But to be honest, if I had to do it all over again, I would only tell my family and closest friends but not lie if asked by coworkers.

I personally feel comfortable telling people, my family on the other hand gets upset with me. They always make the statement, why did you tell anyone.It makes me feel they are embarassed that I took a proactive step in my life to have surgery. My sleeve date is April 18th.

You know I should've waited to think about it, but when i went to go to the consultation i knew my decision and i knew i would be happier with it and i was excited about making the decision so i told some of my cousins and family members... bad idea. Now all they wanna do is talk to me about the complications and how i don't need it or treat me like im pitiful or weak, when really i'm just human.. It's definitely your choice, but just know that saboteurs exist, and that everyone has 2 cents that they'd love to chip in. My advice is pick the ones you know love and support you and your decisions. Leave the rest in the dark. BLESS and good luck.

I also write about a lot of these issues in my blog. I did not tell anyone until I was approved and had a date. Then I felt free to tell everyone. Some people tried to talk me out of it and others were supportive. I was strong in my convictions and knew why I was doing this. Yes, there was SOME shame in allowing myself to get to 330 lbs, but, now that I have lost 56 lbs, every one says how great I look and I FEEL great and have a lot more energy. Drop me a note if you need to talk, I'm around. I write about my journey at http://jfabulous43.wordpress.com/

I've talked about this in my blog. It's your choice. I didn't tell anyone other than my husband (of course), sister and two friends that live in other states. No one at work knows. It's my business and I don't want my surgery to be the topic of conversation or any bias or preconceived notions. Simple. But, in stating that I also understand why sleevers make it public. I just chose not to tell anyone and all is cool and positive. You'll know the right way for you. Whatever is your comfort level.

t's your choice , I have let a few co workers know and only half of my family . I am sure they will figure it out , but for now l choose only to tell people who will be positive.

I started biotin a little bit before surgery. A week before surgery I had to go off all vitamins & minerals. I started the biotin as soon as I thought I could swallow the pill at home.
If you drink any pop (diet or regular) or coffee quit now! Quit before you have to go on the pre-op diet.
I can only tell you things that made things easier on me. I brought one of those soft cuddly comfy throw blankets from Target (mine was brown, one side was soft and comfy and the other side was fluffy). I had it freshly washed and it smelled like home (Downy). It was my comfort in the hospital, I cuddled with it in the chair and it made me happy.
I went into the surgery smiling and humming. Made my nurses hum, even hummed my favorite little theme song to my doctor and anesthesiologists and nurses. It made everyone smile and lighten up and I was told I was one of the most positive people going into surgery and I woke up positive.
I found a decaff tea that was refreshing to bring to the hospital plus I bought my own artificial sweetener (truvia). I tried several decaff teas (after quitting coffee). Bigelow Peppermint Tea fit the bill with truvia. It literally calmed my tummy and felt better than water at first and even though it went from warm to cold, it tasted good cold. Hospitals normally serve hot tea with generic artificial sweetener in a coffee cup. It's not appetizing it smells like coffee though it's hot water. I probably have mentioned this 100 times since surgery in posts. This was my saving grace.
Bring Cottonelle or Charmaigne Box of wet wipes. After surgery your privates feel nasty (after getting the catheter out). It's a little harder to urinate on your own. Wiping yourself is a little hard because your tummy is swollen, but getting some of the orange stuff off you makes you feel cleaner. I also kept a brush on my table, because it was such a comfort to brush my hair because it became a birds nest.
When you go for your walk around the ward, bring along one of those mouth stick wipes because if you talk while you walk, your mouth will dry up on you so fast, especially if you are given the anti-nausea patch and anti-nausea shots.
You will be most likely be receiving shots in your belly every so often for blood clots. I wasn't prepared for this, nor was I prepared for a drain. Ask the doctor if you are getting one. The ted hose they use and compression thing I was afraid of but it actually didn't hurt and was comforting, I was nervous about those. If the ted hose starts rolling down and hurting, makes sure you get someone to fix it.
I made sure I kept my mouth sticks, water and peppermint tea and spirometer and I brought my own Kleenex (Vicks) type to the hospital. Those I made sure were close to me. When I would wake up during the night I would make sure I used the spirometer. I am prone to pneumonia and I used it OFTEN. I would take my big brown blanket and ball it up with a pillow and then cough. I still use it and it's 19 days out.
My hardest part of surgery (I was in the hospital 5 days) was the leak test. I had an allergic reaction to the Gastrique used and it was really hard on me. My face, neck and chest turned a bright red and I got dizzy and sick. Most people just feel sick from their first drink being something like that.
Things I did not use. I didn't use my kindle, didn't change clothes once (all the iv's getting any real pj's on there is no way.) I did have a pair crocs that I used to walk in, which was more stable to me than wearing their socks.
When I came home getting in and out of bed was not easy for me, and I spent a lot of time sleeping in the lazy boy. I walked as much as I could and I started spacing it out 20 minutes walking through the kitchen, living room and dining room 3 times a day.
I had the drain for 9 days and the last few days it started bugging me. Getting it out, was not comfortable but there was HUGE relief getting it out. I could finally actually breathe again.
Realize that no two people heal alike. There are people that sound as though they have surgery and go home and are out walking miles in the first week. You may have had previous abdominal surgeries and have more scar tissue, you may have never had one and aren't used to it and take it harder. Everyone recovers differently and don't compare your experience to others because it's unneeded frustration. Try to remain positive, even when the going gets tough. I had only questioned my decision when I had the reaction to the gastrique, and then when my drain got infected (I have lupus), they were fleeting.
I have tried to stay positive otherwise and it's done me well. I have a brain tumor, and I suffer from Lupus, I had diabetes and sleep apnea, and I suffer from raynauds and severe migraines and I have a lot of things that could contribute to me not staying positive. I had complications during my surgery which were pretty severe and still I would do it all over again. I will be 49 in August, which is how old my Great Grandmother Died due to obesity, and I am built just like her.
Good Luck to you and stay positive, keep a fun song in your head that day, be it a theme song - like Brick House, or whatever current music you like. Mine was the Theme from Sanford & Son and old TV show that I loved as a little girl. The music is happy & funky and to remember the look on my surgeons face or remember the nurses trying to hum it or my husband and son humming it as I was being wheeled out still makes me giggle