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Yvette1026

LAP-BAND Patients
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Blog Entries posted by Yvette1026

  1. Yvette1026
    Anyone ever done it? I'm starting today for cleansing and weightloss purposes. I'm 10lbs from my own first personal goal and I MUST reach it by monday. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I thought about doing the pre-op diet or the liquids pouch test diet but then I thought if I'm going to do it, I need to cleanse my body as well.
     
    So here I am...dreading my first Salt water slam... the thought of it...ICK...
     
    I know you can do the master cleanse for 40 days but I only intend on doing it til Monday morning before my fill appointment. I also want them to go super aggressive on my fill, since I skipped my last one, if they'll put 2 cc's in that would be good, or maybe even 1.5 cause I need one. I have days where I feel like a hungry hungry hippo and days where I want nothing at all.
     
    I'm super sore from working out yesterday...Oh my goodness...I think it was the stretching that did me in, not even the work out lol.
     
    It's all working and worth it, when kids tell you "Oh wow you're getting skinnier" lol gotta love the honesty of kids, especially when they keep you in check as well...as the 4 yr old says to me "Why do you always eat that?" as I'm popping something not good for me into my mouth. I stop to think, do I ALWAYS eat that? and pop it out... lol it's a great checks and balances system lol
     
    So now I'm off to the store, need some syrup and some seasalt... here goes umm something lol:thumbup:
  2. Yvette1026
    I've had the strangest cravings for potato chips and soda lately. This was never anything I craved pre-surgery and yet here I am just shy of 14 months post op and I am CRAVING them.. I of course, know this isn't something I should be eating.. but recently on a trip to Kona Grill they had taro chips. I'd tried these once before but didn't really remember them but now I'm HOOKED. It's just like a potato chip you can season it and do all kinds of flavors with it but it's great just plain with sea salt... Then last night thinking I was grabbing Taro chips I grabbed Terra chips - Exotic Vegetable Chips... this is a packaged blend of Taro, Yuca, Sweet Potato, Ruby Root, Batata and Parsnip chips...SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good and works on that whole "sweet/salty" thing.
     
    But eating this makes me want soda.. diet soda but still soda, which I rarely drank prior to surgery and the few times I've tried it post surgery has been hard... but I've figured out if I pour it over ice and let it sit, it's drinkable and don't hurt to drink...
     
     
    And then... then there's the cake... some of you make have seen my blog about the recipe or the RED CARPET READY 150 calorie cake.. which is SO good, but I wanted real cake, with frosting so I decided to make one myself.. I made a yellow cake from scratch using mayo and applesauce, sounds gross but it was DELICIOUS and I made a cream cheese frosting to put over it... I'd eaten nothing but cake and beef jerky for 3 days and still lost 3lbs... how is this possible?!?!?
     
    I mean not that I was wanting to gain weight, obviously not, but with results like that.. it makes it hard to not want to go on a cake diet lol...
     
     
    At any rate, my food choices obviously need to improve, but I think I'm making up for being on that fast or 30 days lol... but I'm still losing so I'm happy!.
  3. Yvette1026
    The pounds go down on the scale...so it's been awhile since I've been on or blogged but just a quick update. I haven't had a fill since December... which was great at first then I got to the point where I was throwing up then ok then throwing up then ok... Not wanting to waste the co-pay and not get a fill I just decided to go it on my own.. Come late April/May I evidently hit my sweet spot because I've lost more weight in the last 3 months than I've lost the entire time I've had my band. I was starting to feel like I was a band failure hovering at the same weightloss since 6 months out of surgery... not really gaining, but not losing either.. or if I gained 10lbs losing it (hormonal) then just balancing out at the same range..
     
    So now I am 1 yr 7 months out since surgery, it's been 8 months since my last fill and about 2.5 to 3 months since I hit my "sweet spot" I no longer HAVE to shop in fat girl stores, I am now able to shop in the skinny girl stores even if it's they're biggest size, it fits... So now my band is just truly giving me portion control...the way it's intended and now I'm losing losing losing.. I've also stopped weighing myself since the 1st...So I have absolutely no idea what I weigh at this point but everyone keeps telling me how I look like I've lost so much weight and I actually see the changes on an almost daily basis.
     
    I guess I've just stopped worrying about it and just doing my best to live right and eat clean... always room for improvement and it's a process but it's getting better everyday! Hope you're all doing well.
  4. Yvette1026
    These are the moments where I realize how fat I once was, am and no matter how much weight I lose, will be.. It's because it's not on the outside it's on the inside. It's a mental thing.
     
    I sit here writing this... 80lbs....wait make that 83lbs from goal. As someone who can lose 10+lbs in a week.. I really have no excuse to not hit my goal by my birthday in Oct. Even if losing at a slower rate.
     
    This week, I hit the lowest number I'd been since I've been on this journey and it felt so good.....I then proceeded to make these "victory meals", cause that's what you do when you have something to celebrate right?!?!? #FatGIrlMoment - There was Ribeye Steak, Pork Sirloin Steak, "Light" Jello Salads ok....not so bad, but then we got to the mashed potatoes.. It's a celebration let's load them up... Garlic mashed potatoes, with triple cheddar cheese, with a touch of cream cheese and butter oh and bacon, and finally green onion for color.... These potatoes were and have been a meal in themselves for me in the past. They're so good they come straight out of my "Get Your Man" recipes/book I'm working on. But that's besides the point, the point to this is.. through the celebratory eating over the last 3 days I have gained 3lbs...
     
    Last night having seen the scale move up 2lbs I decided "It's ok I'm gonna work out hard and lose it again" and I REALLY REALLY REALLY want donuts. So off to walmart I go, in the middle of the night for donuts, they didn't have the kind I wanted.. so I settled for my 2nd favorite again justifying it in my head, it's ok... I haven't had them in Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, I think I may have actually caught myself talking to them about how I'd missed them at one point. #FatGirlMoment
     
    But here's the kicker.. today when I got on the scale, I actually got on the scale with a donut in my hand and was eating it as I looked down at the scale, half expecting it to move down. No shock and awe here....it was up, I'd offically gained 3lbs in just over 3 days....
     
    Things like this is exactly why it's SO important for us to get the mental aspect about losing weight. Why it's SO important to understand our relationship with food and how it effects us, not only our bodies but our emotions as well.
     
    I look forward to my #FatGirlMoments both good and bad as they're always a learning experience for me. And this time I learned a big one.... Everything we pick up is a choice, everything we eat can either move us closer to our goal or further from our goal and that's how we have to look at it. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time.
    It's not easy... but I'm in faith I can and WILL do this!.
  5. Yvette1026

    Carb Coma...

    By Yvette1026,

    So I had a battle with the box of vegetable thins and the box one... *sigh*
     
    But I slept and SLEPT and SLEPT and could totally go back to sleep right now.. I think I'm in a carb coma.. I hadn't had simple carbs in SO long, it started with the bread on monday, then the bread on thursday, and now the crackers on monday/tuesday again. Every time I eat them I get SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sleepy. Guess that's a big hint to STOP eating them huh?
     
    Must become productive....
  6. Yvette1026
    So I came across this AWESOME recipe...and as fat kids, former fat kids and on our way to being former fat kids... you know there's one thing we all have in common... WE LOVE CAKE! lol
     
     
    So I came across this awesome recipe for "Red Carpet Ready Cake" they're individual cakes that are SUPER band friendly and easy and the best part it's a 100 calorie snack ok 150 if you go crazy with the toppings.. but don't! If you're following weight watchers it's 3 points (I'm not but the creator of the recipe is soooo figured I'd add it in for those of you that are.)
     
    Ok so here's what you'll need:
     
    1 Box of Angel Food Cake Mix (I used Duncan Hines)
    1 Box of Flavored Cake Mix (I used Pillsbury Strawberry because I know it's SUPER moist and it goes well)
    Water
    Optional: (but in my opinion SO necessary lol)
    1 container of Cool Whip Free - yes FREE not lite, FREE.
    Fruit to garnish.
     
     
    Go home open both cake mixes and mix them together in a ziplock bag or container that you will hold the rest of the mixture in. Once it's mixed you're ready to go.
     
    Now the cake part:
     
    In a microwave safe container mix the following: (I used a big coffee/soup mug)
     
    3 tablespoons of cake mix
    2 tablespoons of water
    1 minute in the microwave
     
    Top with Cool Whip Free and Fruit (I use blueberries or sliced strawberries but just a couple)
     
    Enjoy!
     
    Save the rest of the mix for the next time you want a sweet treat that's both band and weight loss friendly, while being quick and delicious!
     
    Like the title says.. You'll thank me later! lol
  7. Yvette1026
    My journey...
    My weight loss...
    My weight gain...
    My progress....
    My thoughts...
    My feelings...
    My prayers...
    My beliefs...
    My faith...
     
    Noticing a trend here? My and by my I mean Me. This is the best thing I've ever done for myself. My journey is not yours, nor is yours mine. I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm here to encourage and uplift by my blogs, thoughts and comments. Spread love and encourage nothing else.
     
    I see/hear some comments and receive some that just leaving me with a blank look on my face and going *blink...blink*, your issues are not mine, feel free to share and comment but be careful to not try to PUSH/DUMP/UNLOAD your issues or feelings on me or anyone else, I wonder when some of you will stop trying to find yourself in others and find yourself within. That's when this REALLY works, when anything YOU really wants to do works. Whether it's weightloss, business, or something else. You have to find it within YOURSELF to do it, just as I have to find it within MYSELF to do it. We should all want those around us to be our very best, and we should encourage them and love on them until they reach it. Just my two cents.
  8. Yvette1026
    I have often told those dieting or making an effort to lose weight to be sure they DON'T weigh themselves daily. This habit becomes obsessive and can be disappointing. I really need to take my own advise.
     
    I woke up this morning anxious to see the scale move down another pound again... I got on the scale.. I was .8 from it moving... frustrated I remembered what the skinny girls I used to work with would go on and on about.. "Oh I never weigh myself until after I have a BM, it makes such a HUGE difference." Hmmm works for them, may work for me. I go about my day..... and the time comes.. after I run and get on the scale now .6 away from the scale moving down... "Hmmm poop sure doesn't weigh very much does it?!?!?" I think to myself.
     
    A few minutes later I'm having an over share moment and I'm talking to a friend of mine who has the same weight loss struggles I do, we laugh about how different it must be when skinny girls poop cause she had tried the same thing and had the same result I had. We've decided all of their fat is stored in their intestines and that's why they always look thin, but evidently have REALLY heavy poo.
     
    My day continues and another BM comes...ok now THIS...THIS has got to make the difference.. I run and jump on the scale .1 from the scale moving... Are you kdding me?!?!!??! Ok I give up.. I give up.... I'll stop for the day. I end up taking a nap and waking up to have a dinner of black bean burgers and hummus, water and a small glass of organic soy milk.
     
    I decide to weigh myself again... I gained .7 that can't be right... I get a call and forget about it... a couple of hours later.. I'm on the scale again... WHAT?!??!?! HOW COULD I HAVE GAINED 3LBS?!?!?!??!?!?!
     
    So the moral of the story is, dont' weigh yourself everyday and if you do make sure it's at the same time everyday but don't stress if it goes up or doesn't move because our weight fluxuates by a few pounds through out the day and there's absolutely NOTHING we can do about it.. also we tend to weigh more at night, as we're water and just as the ocean tide is effected by the moon, so are we. I know all of this, I've done the research for YEARS and yet I think I was becoming addicted to the high of seeing the scale go down every day.....today was a reality check and reminder to TAKE MY OWN ADVICE!
  9. Yvette1026
    Totally realizing that weight loss is more of a mental battle than it is a physical. Going through my closet getting rid of clothes that are too big for me, and instead of having tears of joy, I have tears of something else. I know they're just clothes, and can be easily replaced...I can rationalize but it doesn't change how I'm feeling. *sigh*
     
     
    I'm a bit of a clothes horse and when I buy something, I buy it because I absolutely LOVE it, so watching it go to someone else, or parting with it is hard, but really it's not about them or the clothes. It's more about I feel like layers of me are be peeled away and I'm not sure what we'll find or what will be exposed. It's so weird, I never thought I'd feel this way. I thought I'd be doing the HAPPY DANCE, and there's times I do, but tonight, I don't know.. it's just affecting me different. I think because as many times as I've cleaned out my closet and given away clothes, there's certain items I've hung on to, and kept "just in case" maybe that's it... maybe it's because somewhere deep down I'm feeling like, I can't go back, like before, I've yo-yo'd my whole life. Making jokes out of true stories about how I went on a cruise at a size 18, but packed my "Fat clothes" and came off a 20/22. I think maybe it's because releasing those items on some level means I'm releasing the permission I once gave myself to be fat, that it was OK, that I could go up and down and would figure it out and be fine as long as I stayed under 300lbs or a size 26 or smaller.
     
     
    Going into stores I'm so used to shopping in and realizing I'm toward the end of my days there... maybe I just feel exposed and afraid of the unknown, a size 18 is the smallest I've ever been in adult life. Well since I was about 14 actually.... I don't know anything else beyond this. I see my body changing every day, even if the scale doesn't change, I lose inches, go down in size etc..
     
     
    A custom t-shirt I had made not too long ago is now a little big, I just realized I may actually HAVE to get another shirt made soon, just these little things, usually they make me happy. But tonight, for some reason they made me sad, like I literally had tears... I was laughing at myself because I couldn't figure out WHY I was feeling this way, but I no matter how hard I tried... I still felt the way I felt.
     
     
    This is a long journey and it's so much more than just a physical one, but at the same time.. to be honest, I haven't really worked out since I've had my surgery.... in this exposed feeling tonight, I think it's evident why... I've been afraid of the unknown, of the life that awaits me below a size 18 of the life where I'm not longer really seen as "fat" or overweight by most people. Where I'm no longer the biggest person in the room. The last time I was here... I creeped my way back up to a 26 in a year and half... their were some extenuating circumstance but still....it happened.. thing is, the whole reason I got this done was so that it would NEVER happen again.
     
     
    So ready or not, here I go...tomorrow (or today) is a new day, I'll take each day, one by one, do something for myself everyday, move everyday, do something EVERYDAY and see what changes come out of it. Who would have known at a year and 3 months out I would be feeling this flood of emotions?!?! Like I always say....this is a journey... I've obviously got mine cut out for me, but I'm more than up to it!
     
     
  10. Yvette1026
    Maybe... with YOUR support!
     
    I have a friend and client who is a lapband patient. She's lost a ton of weight and looks fabulous. She's currently being considered for the next installment of the Real Housewives franchise: Real Housewives of Las Vegas.
     
    She's open about everything in her life and wants to put a positive image of the lapband out to the public as part of her time on the show... And or this we need YOUR support!
     
    Check out her Fanpage on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/MarissaZdazinsky
     
    Please please please like her page and show your support! The production company is making their final decisions this week and we want to let them and Bravo know.. That WE WANT MARISSA!!!
  11. Yvette1026
    Ok so Friday 12/18/09 I got my band, I woke up going "OMG WHAT DID I DO TO MYSELF" as the pain kicked in. I'm not sure WHO lied and said it's painless, and you could totally be back to work on monday, but somebody did.
     
    I think compared to most I'm doing relatively well. My uncomfortableness (is that a word? wait it is now) is mostly from over doing it today and gas. Have I mentioned how much I distain gas??? like it's a serious pet peeve of mine when people burp or pass gas in other ways without excusing themselves from the room first, or worse do it and think it's funny. I think I'm emotionally scarred from all the belching lol. As I hid in my mom's room away from everyone but her, just repeating excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, over and over again. So much so she was like just stop saying it lol.
     
    Moving forward, I don't remember most of Friday. Yelling at the nurse, telling her to just stop talking. My friend putting me in the car to take me home, and then hours later my mom coming to rescue and taking me home with her. Don't remember much of that either. But I remember glimpses of it. YAY FOR GOOD DRUGS!
     
    Never would I ever tell anyone to do this as an "outpatient" I would suggest if you have the option to stay in the hospitial over night, that you STAY.
     
    Friday Day 1, I didn't eat anything, just water and ice chips. Saturday Day 2, I did some vegetable broth. But mostly water and ice chips with the occassional popsicle.
     
    Sunday Day 3, I woke up hungry... maybe it was the smell of the turkey that had been baking all night, or maybe just the fact that I hadn't eaten in about 5 days but I was hungry.
     
    I woke up and had some yogurt and helped my mom cook our "Turkmas" dinner - Basically christmas dinner but we have all the thanksgiving foods and it's usually a week before Christmas, so everyone can be there.
     
    Out of habit, as I was making the deviled eggs I tasted the filling, "hmmm that went down easy." Then my sister started serving up her pumpkin bread.. check on the list.. hard breads, hard breads.. hmmm week 3.. ok but it's kinda mushy and soft and oh so pumpkiny, I won't even put butter on it. So she gives me a 1/2 of an end piece. I pinch the corner off, just enough to get the taste in my mouth and let it disolve. I did that twice and then realized it wasn't her "from scratch" bread and threw it out.
     
    Proceeding with cooking the dinner (ok well HELPING, since I was in no shape to cook it like usual.) I made yams, and thought hmmm I could puree these.. wait I don't like candied yams/sweet potatos (I use sweet potato, but make it like yams, tastes better).
     
    But the sugary sweet glaze I made for them was delicious, I kept wanting to "test" it..I fought that battle and won. I know what sugar does to me without a band, not in a hurry to find out what it does to me with one.
     
    Ok so "Turkmas" 2, Me 1...
     
    Feeling the urge of hunger again, I look in the fridge for another yogurt or jello, but I see those deviled eggs. Mmm they're cool now.. I can just eat the filling. Filling of egg #1 gone, filling of egg #2, oh wait hard boiled egg is mushy.. let me see if I can. wait yep I can.
     
    Turkmas 4, me 1...
     
    The crowd gets there and they devoure my sister's homemade peanut butter fudge. I'd been avoiding it, no problem, but when everyone was surrounding the plate and raving about it.. I wanted a taste. I went to pick a lil' piece up and it crumbled. The lapband Gods make an interception.. Turkmas 4, me 1.
     
    Dinner is ready... my mom tells me she made things I could eat.. No mom, technically I'm not supposed to eat it yet, well wait let me just try it and see.
     
    Dinner is served, everyone gets their HUGE plates, I get a cake plate. I take exactly 1/2 teaspoon of all the things I think/know will go down:
    1/2 teaspoon of mashed potatos
    1/2 teaspoon of stuffing
    1/2 teaspoon of gravy or well wait maybe a lil' more.
    1/2 teaspoon green bean casserole (french)
    1/2 teaspoon pistachio pudding salad
    1/2 teaspoon of jello salad (my mom pureed all of the fruit into it so I could eat it and not have to chew or pick it out)
    1 itty bitty piece of turkey (about the size of my spoon)
     
    So all in all I have 3-3.5 teaspoons of food on my mini plate. Everyone is looking at me and chuckling telling me, I'm a better person than they are, they just couldn't do it. That they wait all year for this meal.
     
    Umm I know, I cook it... it's freakin' OUTSTANDING.. but some things are more important.
     
    I take my time and try everything on my plate. My once around the plate equaled my brother's first piled on plate time. He says "I'm ready for seconds" and I say me too as I continue to dip the tip of my spoon into the seperate piles for the second time.
     
    About 1/2 way around I've had enough... 1/2 of what I took is now sitting on my plate. I figure if I get hungry I can go back and try more later...
     
    Oddly enough that lil' bit of food, still gave me the itis! Turkmas 10, me 1... lol
     
    I went upstairs and took a nap, woke up two hours later wondering if I missed pie.
     
    Pumpkin, hmmm I just eat the pumpkin part and not the crust...Redi whip too? Yes please...
     
    Turkmas 15, me 1...
     
    All and all I felt good, and I felt MUCH better after eating some real food, I came online and saw how some other people had blended up lasagna and chili, etc.. on day 3 so I felt pretty good about my choices, even if Turkmas kicked my butt... :cursing:
  12. Yvette1026
    Just shy of 14 months out, finally in my sweet spot and losing PRAISE THE LORD!!! I'm at the lowest weight I've been since having surgery and shrinking...lt's been 2 months since my last fill - lol had to remember I'm not catholic , this was starting to feel like confession lol.. anyways.. as I lose and my body is shrinking... my skin is so ITCHY, mostly at my incision sites. I use cocoa butter and coconut oil on a daily basis and stay hydrated so it's not dry skin.. it's all weight loss related.. like the skin that's used to being covered is now being exposed to air or something.. but the incision sites, the incision sites are something else completely. Maybe it's because 1 of them has keloided - oh the joy of being mixed lol.. but they are just ugh.. I can't even explain it.. is anyone else experiencing this? There's no rash/infection etc.. it's just ITCHY!
  13. Yvette1026
    I'm just gonna ask...
     
    Anyone else have intestinal issues since surgery? Gas, where there was none before. Lack of time or warning before the feeling of "having to go" hits you like a ton of bricks, etc???
     
    I NEVER had these types of issues before surgery, ever. I'm not sure what to do or say about it... is there anything to do or say about it? Or is it just a side effect of losing all this weight?
     
    *In my Ben Stein voice* - Anybody???....Anybody??? lol
  14. Yvette1026
    Ok so I'm by no means thin or skinny but my surgery has definitely helped, if not made me change my outlook on food and over eating.
     
    I now know and understand how the rest of the world looks at us and why some almost feel a disgust for us. I never understood it until now... and now that it's finally clicked I never want to be there again.
     
    Before I continue let me first say I don't believe in discrimination against anyone for any reason. I also do not believe in judging a book by it's cover and I realize this may be hard for some of you to read or accept but it's my thoughts and my blog and if you're bothered by what I say, feel free to kindly hit the x, or take part in a respectful and intelligent debate. I'm up for either.
     
    All of that being said...let me continue.
    The problem with fat people is...
    1.) We're killing ourselves
    2.) We (meaning most) do nothing about it
    3.) We've developed such shameful eating habits that we've also developed denial right along with it.
    4.) We encourage others to eat with us, as if when we eat with other people it doesn't count.
    5.) We seek out others like us, so we have eating buddies.
     
    I can go on and on about all of this.. but it has really just got to stop.
     
    So, my ever so rude awakening came when I opened my home to a young lady from church. I invited her to stay with the hopes of helping her grow spiritually and financially and remove her from the living situation she was in.
     
    Everything was ok at first, until I started noticing her eating habits. Just greedy and fat and not in a cute lil' have a fat day and pig out kinda way. In a I eat like this EVERY day at EVERY meal kinda way.
     
    Understand this is not a rant about any one person, I just use my examples as a reference point.
     
    It's hard for me as a foodie to live with someone who eats so extreme, especially when I'm still recovering and being delivered from that area myself.
     
    For years I had myself fooled that "I didn't really over eat." because I went all day without eating and then thought nothing of going through the drive thru at 10pm for 2 double cheeseburgers, fries and sweet tea. Rationalizing it in my head that I hadn't eaten all day. When the truth of the matter is, that was too much freakin' food at one time, for anyone at any given time. I was eating like a linebacker and wondering why and how I ended up with the physique of one.
     
    I really thought there was nothing wrong with my behavior, or at least I thought, I thought that.. looking back on it I realize now that I would ALWAYS mute my phone while ordering so the person on the other end didn't hear. Or eat it in the car and throw it away before I went in the house, even though I lived by myself... All acts of a shamed and guilty person.
     
    So now I have a young lady in my home who thinks nothing of downing 3 fried hotlinks at a time. These are not small hotdogs, I mean the hillshire farm kind that can be split in two and used as a hotdog...that type. Someone who I made 2 boxes of mac & cheese for easy leftovers, I had 1/2 of cup and went back to put it away only to find an empty pan.
     
    Someone who as I'm making cookies for church (simple breakaway readymade ones) can't control themselves and takes a block of unmade cookies and thinks it's funny.
     
    Someone who has lunch, then comes home and ransacks whatever is in the fridge not an hour later, eating a dinner I prepared for someone else.
     
    And to be honest....it's disgusting. I had to stop and have a moment and repent for thinking so poorly of someone but then I realized being obese really truly is a disease. The trouble with fat people is, we don't see it often times until it's too late. We're literally eating ourselves to death and it's disgusting to watch.
     
    I wonder how many times did someone think the same of me? People would always make comments to me about how they don't consider me "fat" that being "fat" was gross and that I wasn't, I was just overweight. Skinny/thin people would make these comments to me and I never understood why, or what made me different. Was it the way I carried myself? How I dressed? How I was shaped? No what it is, is that I NEVER ALLOWED them to watch me pile food into my mouth like some out of control cross between a hungry hippo and a garbage disposal.
     
    Even if I was eating out with people I would eat normally. Sometimes over indulging in bread, but always having a takehome bag/box. UNLESS, I was having a "fat day" with one of my "fat friends" who had lured me out to eat something fattening and just indulge in it. This is where we sabotage ourselves and each other.
     
    While it's fine to have a cheat day or meal, we shouldn't encourage it with each other. I have a good friend who lives in another state and we would both get Oreo shakes and bacon cheddar wedges from Jack in the box and eat them while on the phone together when we were having "bad" or "fat" days... WHO DOES THAT?!?!??! Fat people...that's who!
     
    I notice too how my friends plan their vacations around eating, I've had 3 people say to me "Oh when I get there, we're gonna eat this this this this ____ this this this blah blah blah..." I just kinda laugh it off when the reality is ummm NO WE'RE NOT... you might, but I'm not.
     
    Then the funny part is when you don't indulge your fat friends will then start to try to gode you into eating with them, by saying things like "Oh you think you're too good now cause you lost some weight?" or something to that effect, even though it's in a joking manner.. they still mean it.
     
    Or friends who look at you funny because you've lost weight... and say things that they mean as a compliment but really just come out sounding bitter.
     
    We do it to ourselves...all of this to ourselves and the problem with Fat people is we're sick and we don't even realize it. Looking back on it I know and realize I was addicted to food. The tastes, the flavors, the textures.. I would almost get a high off of it. I think that's why it's so hard for me to watch others now who are still sick.
     
    It's like when someone stops smoking, they can't stand to be around other smokers.. it's the same feeling..
     
    Ok I'm rambling.. feel free to respond or not I just needed to get this out.. these thoughts were blocking my other thoughts I needed to get to for another writing I'm doing.. but man.. whew.. I feel better :smile2:
  15. Yvette1026
    I'm sitting here blogging when I should be packing and moving. PROCRASTINATION - LOL - Anyways I'm going through clothes seeing what fits and doesn't fit so I don't take it all with me.
     
    As I'm going through things and realizing the bulk of my clothes are either too big or too small I started to think about all of the changes that have happened to me and my body is the last couple of months (including pre-op) and it's just AMAZING. Everything in my life has gotten better. I have a pretty great life anyways, but I feel better, I look better, my business has gotten better, my home has gotten better, finances, etc... just everything seems to be falling into place. Moreover, it's only going to continue to get better; and those are the changes I'm SO excited for.
     
    I found a pic of me and my mom from my wedding day 8 yrs ago size 26 bride in a size 30 wedding dress because you know they run small and I remember at the time feeling pretty but uncomfortable. Not at all what I imagined I would feel like as a bride. I feel better on a daily basis than I felt on that day all done up.
     
    But now, as I enter into my relationship with my special friend, I can't help but smile when I realize I will NOT have "fat" wedding pictures.
     
    In just over a month I went from "cute pics" but having to use the infamous fat girl angles to get them to being able to take a pic straight on and from almost any angle.
     
    And it's paid off, some offers have come my way from some people I've dealt with in my past and some new people as well. They can tell from a pic if you're using an angle to create a look. But they've noticed the difference in just the few new pics I've taken and now.. I'm sitting here wondering... Is it crazy that at 33 I'm considering going back into plus size modeling? I stopped when I was 21 and started packing on weight, especially in my face. But as it comes off...I'm thinking hmmm I could totally do this. I know I don't "look" 33 to most people but now I have to sit back and figure out if this is really what I want to do.
     
    I already run my own business, a church (churches) and act as a personal assistant to two people. Not sure when I would make time for it.
     
    But it's a dream deferred so to do it, or not to do it? Not many women my age get this opportunity or these types of offers.. I should take it. I still have weight to lose before I go full force into it because unlike in my day if you were a plus size model you were actually plus sized.. now you're a size 10-12 and they photoshop you fatter lol..
     
     
    The differences just amaze me though, in such little time... just amazing.. God Results!
     
    Before with a camera angle..

     
    Last week... straight on.. no camera angle.

  16. Yvette1026

    Feeling FABULOUS!

    By Yvette1026,

    Let's call it metamorphosis - the closest thing I can liken it to is a caterpillar cocooning and turning into a buttterfly. Except my cocoon has mirrors and I allow the occasional visitor. I'm definitely undergoing a transformation, my fill is working, I'm rarely hungry and when I am I eat small portions. I'm officially a size 22 dress which is for me a BIG deal, even though I've been a size 22, 20, even an 18 in jeans, I haven't gotten below a 24 top. So my dresses were always in the size 24-28 range depending on the cut and store.
     
    Officially a size 22 which is for ME a HUGE deal, I feel GREAT.. I feel fantastic.. I feel....FABULOUS!
     
    I'm definitely in the middle and midst of something great and I can't wait for it to continue.
     
    NSV this week - Down from a size 48D to 40DDD - yes they actually got BIGGER! lol..
    Down from a 24/26 dresss to a 22
    Double chin has almost vanished completely!
    Taught myself how to do "professional" looking makeup.
    Rocked absolutely everything I wore...
    And then ran into an old friend who just CHEESED when he saw me and couldn't get over or stop saying how great I look. That was just amazing (especially since he's the best friend of an ex boyfriend lol) this is absolutely 100% the BEST thing I ever did for myself.. I know I'm experience God results and my change is rapid and I'm SO thankful for it. Praise Him!
  17. Yvette1026
    So I know it's a total overshare but when you eat something that gets stuck, I mean horribly stuck, I don't know about the rest of you but something I used to HATE absolutely HATE to do is suddenly a relief.
     
    Last night at a dinner party of sorts, I had an epic fail of someone's chicken kabob and a cup of the tropical savory & sweet rice pudding (fully expanded in this form prior to eating) that I brought, the pudding turned out delicious and easy to go down..(yay me!) not to mention everyone LOVED it, I should so be on top chef! lol - but while I was able to avoid most of the other dishes because they were sides, I had to eat the only protein and the host's dish of Chicken Kabobs.. The kabob was dry, horribly, horribly dry. Being polite I tried to eat what I could... ugh.. 1 bite too many and the slime comes, the pain, all of that...I finally excuse myself and go home to shower...Not sure why, but I think because sliming is SO gross to me, this where I like to do it at lol. (WOW that may have been a complete overshare lol) but finally about 15 mins into the ordeal it FINALLY comes up...
     
    Now I know why people say they can't eat things, or can't handle meats, etc... I've come to realize I need to just stick to eating things I cooked, my meats, especially chicken are never dry. How does one dry out chicken? Evidently this is a common phenomenon.. WHO KNEW?!??!?
     
    But I now have full understanding of what people go through.. In 7 months of being banded I've only had 1 bad sliming/throw up experience, oddly enough with honeydew melon.. but after that dry chicken last night ugh! I get it.. I totally get it..
     
    Think today will be a all smoothie day and I'll eat later tonight..
  18. Yvette1026
    If you follow my blog you know that I had an affair with Ronald under the glow of his golden arches for years. Even though I knew he wasn't good for me and I shouldn't be there, he was my old comfortable lover that knew how to do everything I liked just right.
     
    I'll admit I've visited my old flame a couple of times since my banding mostly due to lack of time/necessity during a month long moving process with a BUSY schedule.. I know I could have made better choices but I didn't.
     
    I came across this and now I know... WOW
     
    Take the next 5 mins and see this below and you'll figure out how much damage we've done with every visit... never again.. NEVER AGAIN..
     

  19. Yvette1026

    It's contagious...

    By Yvette1026,

    So after the NYE portion control at the party success...(see previous blog) I went to dinner last night with a group of people from church.
     
    Chain of command is basically My Pastors, Me, the ministers, ushers, etc..
     
    So at the cheesecake factory, of all places I ordered the small plate greek salad with no olives. It was sliced cucumbers, roma tomatoes and some feta cheese over greens.
     
    The lady next to me then orders the same thing, then changes her to the asparagus salad, then her husband who normally gets the regular sized cheese pizza, orders the small pizzette, and so on down the line, with the exception of 2 or 3 people out of 8.
     
    As the course of dinner goes on my Pastor asks us if we're getting cheesecake, everyone looks to me and I say "oh no sir, not on the plan."
    We walk out, say our goodbyes and go.
     
    Today my Pastor calls me to put the church on a fast until Feb 1st. Nothing but fruits, veggies and protein powder drinks mixed with water.
     
    As you all know this is pretty much how we eat so I just had to laugh a lil' because it's spread like wildfire. I've lost 42lbs + (I'll weigh in today) in the past 5 weeks, a noticeable result and now everyone is on board.
     
    See my band has gotten me healthy, and it's getting everyone else around me healthy as well. Like my Pastor spoke to us about leadership last night, What makes a good leader? Achievements... If you've made achievements people will follow you regardless of your methods.
     
    I chose not to tell people at church that I had the surgery, I didn't want the judgements, food policing and gossip, etc... So I kept it to myself.
     
    I think it's the best thing I could have done because now my choices are influencing and leadings others to make positive changes, so that hopefully they will not get to the point where they feel they HAVE to have the lap-band. I'm in faith that those that need it, will receive it, and those that just need the guidance will receive that as well.
     
    Oh well just thought I'd share.. I think this is a great thing! Kind of like a cleanse no animal products at all for the next 27 days or almost 4 weeks/month.
     
    Soy and almond milk, here I come. Need to keep my protein up.
  20. Yvette1026
    So year out... couple weeks over.. this time last year I was on liquids only so the spiritual fast I do every January was very easy...protein shakes and more protein smoothies.. I had been doing it for weeks prior to my surgery and just kept on it while I healed. So here we are this year... January and this year's spiritual fast is here.. no meat, no bread, no sweets. Just all natural fruits, veggies, etc... essentially vegan for a month.. NO animal products. This means alot of gluten free, wheat free and organic eating.. Oh look that was in the aftercare diet..
     
     
    So now here I am eating veggies and "whole" foods, all organic and gluten free and in the 3 days (started on the 3rd) I've been doing it, I haven't had one single issue with my band, getting stuck or getting that overly full feeling sneaking up on me. Wouldn't you know that in 3 days I've lost 10lbs?!?!?!? PRAISE THE LORD.. last year I lost 42lbs on the fast but I did it for 6 or 7 weeks if you include the pre-op diet.
     
    If I keep up at this rate for the month... Hmmmmm I'll be ALOT closer to goal...
     
    In my prayer time, I heard to stop eating wheat, it's the gluten that keeps me fat because of my blood type. Then I went online and researched and sure enough... there it was clear as day, O blood types shouldn't eat wheat products because the gluten reacts with our bodies and we pack on pounds...
     
    As someone who has lived most of their years on the planet eating sandwiches, hamburgers and pasta.... it ALL makes sense... either way the point to this post is.. I totally get it now and will be making these changes, and adhering to the true aftercare diet...this time next year, I'll be on a billboard... Watch!
  21. Yvette1026

    New life starts NOW.

    By Yvette1026,

    My goal is to lose 115lbs. Maybe more, I'll see when I reach the first goal. I've successfully lost over 130lbs before and managed to keep most of it off (less the 60 I gained back). When I reached that goal I always said, eh I could lose another 50-80lbs.. Well now feeling like I'm pretty much back where I started (I'm not but it feels like it) I'm going hardcore and it all starts today.
     
    My surgery is scheduled for 12/21, I am scheduled to start my pre-op diet on Monday. Me being gung-ho decided to get an extra week in as a way of "Easing" myself into it.
     
    Yesterday I went and got my provisions, Protein mix, skim milk, frozen strawberries, yogurt, salad, chicken, etc....Then in a celebration of my last meal I also added some ice cream to the cart, not one but two different pints. Pint 1.) Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Pint 2.) Bryer's cookies & cream. Now if I could have found my all time favorite Oatmeal Cookie from B&J I would have bought two of those and gave myself foodgasms all night but alas I'll suffice with those.
     
    I checked out and started on my way home, and some how, some how my car took a right instead of a left and I ended up in the drive- thru, just one last time. Oh golden arches how I'll miss you and our cheapy tawdry affair. You were always there for me when I needed to come by, early, late, doesn't matter you're always ready and willing to put out just the way I like it. Hot, Fast and cheap, In and out with a lil' sweetness at the end. Mmm speaking of sweetness let me get two large sweet teas one with no ice... What???That way it doesn't look like it's all for me.
     
    Mcdouble no pickles, they just ruin your pure beefy taste, french fries oh how I love it when your hot golden salted crispy goodness enters my mouth again and again. I must admit, I get a lil' sad when you're done, something about you makes me just want to keep you in my mouth enjoying your salty goodness. Mmmm what is that delightful sweet nectar I taste? The sweet tea I wash you down with. That's right, I say as it feels like you just hit my sweet spot. Basking in the afterglow, I lay back and let it course through me like a heroin addict who just shot up.
     
    This isn't good for me, I know I know Ronald I've said it before, but I mean it this time. No more, we have to break it off. You have no power over me. Don't look at me like that, I mean it.. I have to go. No I won't be back.. I won't and don't call me either.
     
    Breaking up is hard to do, but they say they best way to get over a man is to get under another one. Or in this case two. Ben & Jerry fulfilling my two man chocolatey threesome fantasy yet again. Yes take me, take me..fill me OMG YES!!!! YES YES YES!!!! Wait what do you mean you're done? we just started.. it was just getting good. The two of you could never keep up with me anyways, get out!
     
    Frustrated I wait a lil' bit, but I"m still turned on. Turned on like some sort of crazed eating machine, I set my sights on Bryers, "come here my sweet" mmmm, um oh.. um yeah.. eh, just stop. This isn't working out for us, you're not as good as I thought you would be. Just go...
     
    A couple of hours past and that familar remorseful feeling comes over me.. WHY did I do that??? I know better.. Ugh.. Now I need a shower or something.
     
    A couple more hours go by, the feeling doesn't pass. I comptemplate if I'm REALLY ready to change, to stop doing things that I KNOW are not good for me, and stop living to eat and start eating to live. Hmmm cucumbers and ranch sound really good right about now. Oh and maybe just these crackers.
     
    But today, Today my friends is a new day! I will fast, be celibate and stay true to my new found relationship, even if protein shakes tastes like eggs and @ss. I've heard there's some good ones, I'll have to explore those flavors, for now I'm on these "Designer Whey" protein shakes, even with the strawberries and the vanilla extra and ice and 2 oz of skim milk added in, it still tastes awful. But I'm commited I have a goal, I've started early. I would like to drop 30lbs before the end of the year. Which should be easy for me, as the bulk of that will be water weight.
     
    So here I am, stripped down, standing before you as my own "Before" Picture.. which I'll be taking later to commerate the start of my new life. My best life is ahead of me, and I'm going after what's mine. Life solutions, not resolutions. AMEN!
  22. Yvette1026
    3 weeks post-op today, I feel great, I LOVE my band :thumbup:
     
    I went to lunch with a friend yesterday who's on the spiritual fast with me. We decided to do appetizers and salads.
     
    I got the greek salad no olives or cheese.
     
    He got a ceasar salad and zuccini.
     
    Then I found on the menu what seemed like an "interesting" appetizer... Sweet corn tamale cakes. OMGOSH delicious! Like UNBELIEVABLY delicious. And as I quickly found out, may or may not be considered band friendly lol. They're mushie so they're easy to go down. However, they're corn meal/masa so I'm not sure if what I experienced was them bloating in my stomach or just all that my stoma would allow. I'm going to go with the latter because corn meal doesn't tend to "bloat".
     
    I ate 1 and 1/2 of the cakes (shared) with the salsa, avocado and sauce toppings and I was DONE.. Like DONE DONE... I didn't even touch the greek salad. I had 2 bites left when I got that "full" feeling but I admit, old habits to finish it came up only because it tastes SO good. Sigh.. it's a battle being banded when you're a foodie, but I'm learning and recognizing more and more every day.
     
    So me being me, am on a mission to make a healthier version of them, replacing sugar with agave nectar, butter with, I'm not sure yet because well I LIKE butter lol... but it's not on my fast.
     
    The sauces I can do... well except the one with mayo, I gotta find a way around that one.. maybe use vegan soy mayo and see how it turns out.
     

  23. Yvette1026
    So after 5 or 6 fills (I forget which, I could be lying, maybe 3 or 4, ok 5 whatever) I have yet to TRULY feel restriction, it works for a day or so then eh I could really eat what I wanted it, if I wanted to... I finally.. finally have restriction and this couldn't be better after a 15lbs gain in the last month - my doctor says not to worry because it's muscle - my measurements are way down... so they say there's nothing to "do" per say besides eat right and exercise, which I'm doing. But I gotta admit I was upset to see the scale going UP, but I think it'll be on it's way back down here.. I have no appetite.. FINALLY! YAY RESTRICTION!!!!
  25. Yvette1026
    I am not the person who obsesses and stresses over the scale, never really have been. In fact I don't weigh myself unless I'm going for a fill appointment. But I won't lie, the entire 12-24 hours before my appointment I stress out. Omgoodness did I lose? What have I eaten since my last appointment? Ugh I shouldn't of had those.. I do all these stressing just to go and realize that YES I have lost weight (even if it's just 7lbs in a month - it's still a loss, even if it were just 1 or 2.. I'm GOOD with that) but I've come to realize that honestly NONE of that matters to me. It's the NSVs or Non-scale victories that matter most to me.
     
    When I see random people from my past and they can't get over how great I look. When I go to put on clothes and they're literally falling off me. When I put on something that was tight or didn't fit and it's now loose on me. That's what matters. When I look in the mirror and I like what I see. When I look in the mirror and actually SEE parts of me that I hadn't seen in awhile because it was covered with a roll. When I look in the mirror and there's definition and tones in muscles and legs, defined waist, stomach getting smaller, my incision sites coming closer together as my stomach and fat shrinks.
     
    That I have more energy. Can cross my legs, walk miles, run and play with kids for hours, have a "healthy glow" about me.. That *I* am getting healthy, completely healthy for ME. That's what I care about. That's the result I'm looking for. So in light of all of that.. EFF THE SCALE! :thumbup:

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