green

Yup, I am not much of a talker anymore. This is why I prefer the internet to answering my phone. And I am kinda pleased that my younger husband still works and that he is works on permanent off-shift. This means that I have the late afternoons and evenings to myself. Part of the morning belongs to me because the man is still in bed. He is the chattier of the pair of us, you see. At the same time he is a lovely man, the opposite from my patriarchal dad. Indeed, I am quite a bit like my father - monkey see, monkey do - and my mate deals with this gracefully and patiently. The one thing which my dad did teach me was to be independent (perhaps of guys like him???) and to always have a bolt-hole. This was good advice and I profitted from this when my first marriage went sour. I must say that I know where you are coming from, Indio. My mate was working in Mexico for a month awhile back and, man, I really, really enjoyed living alone again. In fact I spent the first couple of weeks after his return in a state of high crankiness which was not fair to him and hurt him quite a lot. We eventually talked about it and I appologized, got over my grumpiness, and showed him the love and respect which he merits. (As for the remote, I am the one who controls it. Oh, mean, mean Green.......)

Speaking of religious jokes, I have one..... There was a very bad Jew who spent his life doing truly lousy things. He married many times, cheated on all his wives, and after he was divorced, he never paid any child support. He cheated his business partners, too, and hid all his money in off-shore accounts. The last thing that the bad Jew saw while he was getting a BJ when driving his car one day - and breaking the speed limit of course! - was a tractor-trailor headed straight for him.... Well, he wakes up and is shocked to find himself in a wonderful, a magical place. He is surrounded by peace and beauty. And good food and drink, and attractive people. Why, he thinks, this a million times better than Club Med! And so he finally asks the question which has been bothering him. "Where am I?" "You're in Hell," is the answer. He is finds this news very weird but he continues to enjoy himself until one day he notices a mountain in the distance and decides to investigate. When he gets to the summit he discovers that this mountain is a volcano and when he looks in he sees scenes of unbelievable horror. He sees fire and naked humans being tormented by horned creatures. He hears their screams of agony, and terrified, he runs down the mountain and back to where he came from. Here he finds someone and stammers out his tale. "What was that?" he wants to know. "Oh! That's Hell for the Christians. They seem to prefer it that way."

And, yah, South Park is brilliant. I love the show. The creators have really caught the Canadian soul. LOL

I never laugh when people fall for the same reason that I can't stand Mr. Bean. I have never found physical humour funny. On the other hand, I adore verbal humour and found Mr. Bean in his other persona, Blackadder, to be an absolutely brilliant comedian. It really is different strokes for different folks, isn't it?

Get yourselves younger mates is Green's advice. They are much better at giving a grrl respect I have found. And are much less bossy. My husband is 9 years younger than I am and he doesn't interfere with my decisions. My father was one of those super controlling individuals and this has always made me very skittish around men and very careful (well, kind of paranoid) as to which ones I would be prepared to allow into my life. This is also why I have always kept a firm grip on my own finances and ensured that I owned my own property. I have never, ever wanted to relinquish my autonomy to a bossy man. I will always consult with my husband, for that is showing him the respect which he deserves for putting up with me, but in the last gasp I will do what I want to do. Right now I am mulling over buying a piece of jewellery which is lovely, a good buy because it is an estate piece, and which I so totally do not need. :phanvan

Yah, I have always had a very black sense of humour and I not only love jokes I also find them fascinating. Of course there are truly mean-spirited jokes and there are also jokes who lose all their humour when they are told by mean-spirited people. I personally have found this thread to be a very interesting one. All the viewpoints which have been expressed have validity, I think.

Phyl - sounds like you need to trade in your man for a newer model, one that isn't as noisy. This one sounds like he's running awful loud. Welcome newbies, and love your name, TitsL.

Those NSVs are really important, too. And they can really lift your spirits during the weight loss journey. Congratulations, ladies, on your weight loss.

If I were you, I would go on the cruise. I think that you might be surprised at how much you end up enjoying yourselves. Take one cheap but vaguely dressy outfit for dinner and some casual wear for the rest of the time. Buy your casual clothes at Walmart. The dressy item can be a long skirt and a sleeveless top and a nice pair of sandals. You can wear flipflops the rest of the time with shorts, capris or jeans. A sleeveless black dress is also an elegant dressy item. Remember that you will never see these people again and that your goal is to experience something entirely new and different. By the way, if you are one of those who are prone to feeling cold take a shawl for the evenings. And have fun. From what I hear those boats are big places and there are many things to do and see. :biggrin1:

I've always hated that feeling of being trussed up in latex but if I don't wear one in public it looks like I have a pair of crazed gerbils running loose under my sweater. Especially when am I walking.

Oooof! Bad grammar in the above post. So sorry, sez Green.

Derick chose to tell the joke here, not on the John Birch Society Website. I believe that he was operating on the assumption that the Rant & Ravists would be comfortable enough to accept this joke and to be able to see that though it was goofing on stereotypes - indeed the humour of this joke lies in that it takes these stereotypes to an absurd extreme. The joke itself funny because it dealt the notion of an Islamic vehicle which was laden with an array of over the top western stereotypes of Islam. This was a joke which was also designed to poke fun at us and at our ignornance of Islam along with making a joke or a comment, a fairly gentle one, about Islamic beliefs and behaviour as these are viewed through our western eyes. Perhaps it would be interesting to hear some Islamic jokes about Xtians and of the Westerners. We might learn a great deal, eh.

What?!? You mean there are Canucks out there who don't take their shoes off!!! Report them to the RCMP! Take away their passports! LOL

I will have to disagree with you on the last point in the above quote. Canada chose not to join in the Iraq war, an act which did lead to some coolness between Washington and Canada at the time. It was your Conservative government who made the choice to back Washington up. I sympathise deeply over your military losses. Canada is engaged in Afghanistan and we have seen quite a few of our own men come home in caskets.

You have every right to be angry and offended when people want to hurt you and your family because of your beliefs. The joke about the Islamobile was, I think, just too silly to be viewed as anything other than a joke. Perhaps the damage which you have received due to the abuse has made you overly sensitive. This is certainly understandable. I am very sorry that you and your family are being humiliated by ignorant and malicious strangers for your beliefs. Let us hope that one day this will change. And let us hope that one day the dhimmi will once again be tolerated in the Islamic nations as they were in the past.

She is amazing, isn't she? All 3 of us should get together for a coffee.

Ah, the facelift.... Well, it still feels weird, like large portions of my face have been made out of wood or something. This is because the nerve endings were severed and it will take time for them to reattach. :phanvan And I am still a little swollen but, yah, I look good. :Banane20: My husband says that I look like a movie star but then he always thinks that I look fab. I guess love is blind. :heh:

I love jokes.

Hahahahaha Excellent post, eh. But going braless could be a good way to get stuff through customs: jewellery, drugs, small electronic devices, automobiles..........

Hey! Maybe this is where we should all collect for the shoeless braless hangout. Are there any cute guys and how is the coffee??? Perspiring minds wanna know, eh.

Hah! Don't appologise. This just means that you are a crypto-blonde. You know, brunette on the outside and blonde on the inside. :heh::heh::heh::heh::heh: Once I start dying my hair dark I am going to look muy smarter, too. LOL :biggrin1:

Whenever you choose to do a quote, such as I have just done, you will find a bunch of these little creatures at the foot of the page. If you do not see them then just move the scroll bar down. Then move your cursor down to the appropriate smiley, hit enter once, and this will appear wherever you had last left off while working on your message. When you are writing a new message, one without a quote, you will not have access to the smileys until you hit the preview post button. Once you do that you will be able to not only proof read and edit your message before posting it, you will also be able to load it up with the appropriate smiley guys. You can get rid of them in the usual fashion; you simply centre your cursor on top of the item and then hit delete. I hope my explanation makes sense to you. I do come from analog land, which is the land before all things digital. :phanvan Everything is complicated for me.

Thanks, grrl, from Green. I get it and I respect it. :bounce:

Woohoo! Can I take my shoes and bra off??

I also found the joke to be tasteless, inventive, and very funny. And to let you know where I am coming from, well, I am one of the left-wing nuts who has always believed that Bush was wrong to invade Iraq. I will mention that I also adore Canuck, women, and blonde jokes: all are categories into which I fit. I have also heard some absolutely brilliant Jewish jokes, another category to which I can lay claim. All I ask of a joke is that it be inventive, witty, and funny. The best humour is usually unsafe. Jokes often do hinge on stereotypes and humour is by nature a complex response to life and to its stresses. Lenny Bruce's brilliant, bitter, and very funny rant about Jews and Jesus Christ is a case in point. For those of you who have never heard of Bruce and this particularly disturbing rant, let me explain: Bruce was a stand-up comedian who was notorious for crashing through the barriers of acceptable, and he had one particular piece where he liked to say something along the lines of "Jesus Christ? Yep, we killed him. He was one of us, but we killed him. And you oughta be glad that we didn't have modern technology in those times. Otherwise you would all be wearing little gold electric chairs around your necks instead of crosses." Lenny Bruce's savage rap was both chilling and very, very funny because it carried the stated reasons which many Christians claimed for their anti-Semiticism to the extreme. (By the way, he was a comedian who was active in the late 50s and early 60s - the conformist decades - of the last century.) We have now Jeff Foxworthy who jokes about being a redneck and we have such comics as Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, etc who are utterly brilliant on black/race issues. South Park does not respect the Geneva Convention when it comes to exempting people/s from reaping the consequences of their idiotic behaviour. Why then should this kinda cute little joke about the Muslim vehicle not be appreciated? Hell, the proper response, in my opinion, is to snicker and then move on in order to imagine what would make for a fine Fundy, Catholic, Jewish, Hindu, Southern belle, JAP, blonde or atheist car. After all, we all belong to some kind of stereotype, do we not? My advice to the Politically Correkt gang is to take a chill pill. My advice to Muslims is to take a chill pill and to join the 21st century. There certainly is room for you here. Just as you had traditionally made room for the dhimmi so, too, are the dhimmi prepared to make room for you. It is just a question of opening your hearts in order to engage in dialogue. This present state of affairs certainly is a mess.