Electrawoman

Michelle, if they don't give you good pain meds...ask for some! Remind them about your car ride and all. I will be praying for you. And thanks, Leslie!

I am both excited and nervous about surgery tomorrow. Mainly, I just want to get it over with and move ahead to the part where I can eat food again sometime near the end of January. I am looking forward to staying the night in the hospital, funny enough.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that my boobs now project further from my body than my belly. I am losing pre-op, but I don't know how much because I don't keep a scale at home. This is a rule that I hope to continue post band. I don't want to focus on the number. Clothing sizes---well, that's another story.

I love fashion. I don't love it in the way that most women do--following trends and watching hip designers, though. I like to be creative with my wardrobe and I am big fan of accessories.

Before making the decision to get banded, I was in the process of picking a new "look" for myself. It is even more fun considering the possibility of dressing a smaller body. So many choices!

My look of choice has always been pretty eclectic and bohemian but I am excited to look at other possibilities now that I am an older Mom. I still want to look creative, but not trendy or like I am trying too hard. Any suggestions? How would you describe your look?

My family and I had sooooo much fun today! My son is 2 and we took him to see his favorite toddler celebrities at Yo Gabba Gabba Live. We had a ball. There were balloons falling from the ceiling and confetti cannons blasting the arena. Erykah Badu and Biz Markie even showed up to sing and beat box. My son got to see the characters up close, touched DJ Lance and Muno, and stood by Biz when he came out into the crowd. I have never had so much fun even at an adult concert. Well, there was that one time when I got kicked out of a Rolling Stones concert but that's a story for another blog, right M?

Anyway, with all the excitement, I didn't think too much about food except that I noticed pancakes everywhere. We drove by iHop and I whimpered a little thinking about a nice fluffy short stack with lots of butter and syrup. Then I started noticing pancakes everywhere. My husband and I counted 8 references. How much is one person supposed to take in one day without eating a pancake?! (I didn't but I still want to)

After the show, my husband decided he wanted turkey. He thought it would be a good idea to pull ours out of the freezer and cook it up so he and our son would have something to easy to eat while I was in the hospital having my surgery. We have an entire pre-cooked Thanksgiving meal in the freezer because we didn't end up eating it on Thursday. Never one to cook a small mean, I decided to cook him the entire lot of TG food. I heated everything up while he took our son to visit his "Ain't Beff".

The food was done before he came back. Wait. Actually, he came back several times after dinner was done and I begged him to hurry up and eat so I wouldn't be tempted. But he had to go get cat food. Then he forgot the money and had to come back and go out again for cat food. And I was alone...with a turkey and all the fixins.

The temptation was too heavy. I tried to stop myself. I really did. I paced around the kitchen. I talked to myself. I left the room. I watched TV...but all I could smell was that damned turkey.

I am supposed to be only drinking clear liquids for the next day and a half. But I couldn't take it anymore. The turkey was calling me. 3 bites of turkey and 2 bites of stuffing plus half a carrot went down the chute before I knew what hit me. Clearly I have an obsessive problem with food. Duh. That's what got me here.

I am trying not to beat myself up too much over it but I feel like a failure. (even though the carrot--of all things---was the best thing I have ever put in my mouth. Really)

I tried to get myself back on track by having hubs help me pack the food up so I wouldn't be tempted to eat while I packed. Then, I made broth out of the bones. It's not exactly clear...but its close. I finished off the night with a cup of broth, a protein water, and two strawberry hard candies (I read someplace that we could have those).

But now I am wondering if I screwed everything up. Am I doomed? Do I have to reschedule my surgery? :cursing:

Oh dear. You ARE crazy! Poor thing! NOw, I feel bad about complaining. :cursing: I just have to cook for 2 and they are not picky.

My surgery is MOnday so I have two more days preop, then 3 after. I can have full liquids by next Thursday, I guess.

Good luck and thank you for posting! I read on one of the forum posts that lap-band surgery IS cheating---cheating death.

There is not a person here who hasn't tried with all their might to lose yet we will always be viewed as lazy and somehow inferior because of our weight.

So what if you are being "selfish"? I would also bet that most of us give so much to others that there is no energy left for ourselves. It is time to be selfish, if that's what they want to call it.

The Negative Nellies can all just kiss our healthy, cheating, selfish butts later. :cursing:

I think I saw that video you mentioned on Youtube today. Dr R? I think he has a weird chip on his shoulder. I'm not even convinced he is really a doctor. DOnt let him scare you :cursing:

I watched a video of a lap-band surgery on youtube today and the surgeon stitched a piece of the stomach up and over the band to keep it in place. I wondered how that might feel when the stitches dissolved and the stomach tissue flopped down. Maybe that's what you were feeling? Sometimes hernias feel like a rip or a tear. I haven't gotten my band yet but I had a c-section and there were many times that I would move and feel like my guts were stretching, tearing, ripping, floating...There's no telling. Doctor call is probably your best bet. :cursing: It can't hurt.

AWESOME! Good for you :cursing:

I hope things change after your fill. From what I have been hearing, it will help. :cursing:

You can start eating healthy now :cursing: It won't hurt anything. It sounds like your BMI would be high enough for a band. You can find out by using the calculator here:

Body Mass Index Calculator

I think most insurances and surgeons require a BMI of 40 or twice your ideal weight.

I started clear liquids today. I looked it up and found that the reason for this torture is to clear my intestines. Frankly, I would rather have the doctor give me 14 jalapeno enemas instead of putting me on clear liquids. No, really. Isn't there an easier way?

I have threatened to quit several times today and considered rescheduling the surgery. Luckily, I have been able to talk myself down each time. I also burst into tears twice. Thank goodness my husband is being sensitive and caring about it.

There is no particular food I am thinking about. There is just this general restlessness that says EAT NOW. To be honest, when I look at food I don't really want it. But I have the overwhelming urge to eat. It's this gnawing...gnashing...grinding-of-the-teeth feeling. I might be taking an extra Wellie tonight to lessen this anxiety. (Wellie=Wellbutrin...and yes, it has been approved that I can take an extra one if I need it. :cursing:

Meanwhile, I am trying to keep busy with the Jon Gabriel Visualizations, and looking at Before-and-After photos of other Bandsters. The Gabriel Method suggests finding a picture of your ideal body and visualizing yourself in that body while listening to a meditation CD at night and in the morning. I took it a step further and did mine in Photoshop:

http://www.bettysoutherland.com/NewB.html

If you want one too, email me the picture of your ideal body and a headshot of you that is in the same position as the body shot. (i.e., if the ideal body is facing forward, your head should be facing forward, too). If you have any skinny facial pics (like maybe from when you were younger), send those too, along with a Paypal for $12.50 to:

electrawoman@gmail.com

Depending on how many orders I get, I can probably get your finished pic back to you within a few days.

It would be fun to compare these to our final "after" pics :ohmy:

Thanks ya'll and sorry for the triple post. I was sending that from my phone and now I cant delete the extras. Anyhow, Michelle, don't worry about what you saw on youtube. Someone will always have something negative to say. My poor sister hears all kinds of crap every time she starts Atkins. I am sure you have heard the phrase: Opinions are like a-holes. Everybody's got one. LOL

I had my preop exam scheduled today and made plans with hubs to come home early and take care of our kiddo. He was late very late and I nearly had to reschedule my entire Monday surgery because the doctor won't be in the office for the rest of the week. Luckily, they worked me in. On the way there, I began to panic.

By the time I got to the office, I was freaking out. When they told me about some payment issues, I became even more anxious. Once that was worked out, I started obsessing about my fear that the lapband won't work for me and had a full-on panic attack. I was ready to Throw in the towel and cancel the whole thing.

Luckily, the office ladies, the nurse, and the PA listened to my fears and reassured me that everthing would be fine. They reminded me that failure or sucess depends on me. I felt better knowing I had control.

It also helped that their scale showed that I lost 6 lbs on the preop diet this week!

So surgery is still on and doc even said I could eat a little Thanksgiving tomorrow. All is well in the house of Betty.

I had my preop exam scheduled today and made plans with hubs to come home early and take care of our kiddo. He was late very late and I nearly had to reschedule my entire Monday surgery because the doctor won't be in the office for the rest of the week. Luckily, they worked me in. But on the way there, I began to panic.

By the time I got to the office, I was freaking out. When they told me about some payment issues, I became even more anxious. Once that was worked out, I started obsessing about my fear that the LAP-BAND® won't work for me and had a full-on panic attack. I was ready to Throw in the towel and cancel the whole thing.

Luckily, the office ladies, the nurse, and the PA listened to my fears and reassured me that everthing would be fine. They reminded me that failure or sucess depends on me. I felt better knowing I had control.

It also helped that their scale showed that I lost 6 lbs on the preop diet this week!

So surgery is still on and doc even said I could eat a little Thanksgiving tomorrow. All is well in the house of Betty.

I had my preop exam scheduled today and made plans with hubs to come home early and take care of our kiddo. He was late very late and I nearly had to reschedule my entire Monday surgery because the doctor won't be in the office for the rest of the week. Luckily, they worked me in. On the way there, I began to panic.

By the time I got to the office, I was freaking out. When they told me about some payment issues, I became even more anxious. Once that was worked out, I started obsessing about my fear that the lapband won't work for me and had a full-on panic attack. I was ready to Throw inbthe towel and cancel the whole thing.

Luckily, the office ladies, the nurse, and the PA listened to my fears and reassured me that everthing would be fine. They reminded me that failure or sucess depends on me. I felt better knowing I had control.

It also helped that their scale showed that I lost 6 lbs on the preop diet this week!

So surgery is still on and doc even said I could eat a little Thanksgiving tomorrow. All is well in the house of Betty.

Well, he's at it again. I am still reading the Gabriel Method and my Food Monster is telling me that I don't need the Lap-Band. I just need to do what John Gabriel says, he tells me. "Um yeah, Food Monster. If that worked, I would be skinny already because every new diet book I find sounds like a great idea, until it doesn't.", I say to him.

Today is much better than the last two. I am thinking about food a little less. I even feel a little thinner today. Maybe the pre-op diet is working. Or maybe it is my imagination.

Unlike most of you who have lost weight and regained it, I have never lost more than 20 lbs at once. (And that took 2 years). I can't remember how it feels to be thin. I haven't felt it in about 33 years.

Feeling hopeful that the lap-band will work for me, I tried to recall yesterday how it felt to be lean. I remembered being a child of about 9, playing outside in a halter top. A halter top! My shoulders haven't seen the sun in over a quarter of a century! I can vaguely recall the feeling of running, the wind flying past my ears and my body working exactly as it should. I have no fear of falling or rolling my ankle or embarrassment over the fat that is trembling and shaking behind me as my feet slam into the pavement. I am not worried about arch supports or proper alignment. I know without question that my body will take me where I want to go. I move at the speed of light using skates or my bike or my own two feet to get there. Now, that is living.

So, when was the last time you felt good in your body?

I think the elliptical will get easier for you. The first time I tried it, I thought I would never get on one again. My friend convinced me to try it for a week and I would never go back to a treadmill. SHe was right!

would you do it again?

Thanks ya'll!

I woke up this morning to the sound of two toddlers fighting over a broken toy. The thing is, I only have one toddler (and a husband). The day got progressively more interesting as I tried to stay on this stupid preop diet.

In my spare time (ha ha), I am a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) for children. In order to make it to a supervised visit with the parent of my CASA kids, I had to get a sitter and drive an hour, only to find out that the parents decided not to show up and the visit was cancelled. Now, that was simply annoying for me but how do you think those kids must have felt? They haven't seen their parents in 3 weeks and now (Because mom and dad have a lame excuse) they won't see them for at least another 2 weeks. I don't know about you other Mammas, but if I hadn't seen my child in 2 weeks, I would WALK, crawl or swim my way to the visit. But maybe that's just me.

This change in diet is really not helping. I am detoxing from sugar and fat---my drugs of choice---and everything is magnified times thousands.

I feel like nobody except other bandsters understand.

I know I should be happy that I'm not being forced to do liquids only right now and thrilled that I will get a small taste of Thanksgiving but I am seriously cranky and gave in for the temptation of 3 chocolate graham crackers. Yes, I did. And I would do it again.

It kept my grown-up-toddler-man from getting kilt this afternoon.

God Bless Harry & David.

I have been reading The Gabriel Method and he suggests that the reason our body craves junk is because we are not giving it the nutrition it needs. He suggests adding healthy foods to your diet instead of taking away unhealthy foods. The idea is that, once your body knows it is going to regularly get what it needs, you will not crave junk any more.

You can get the vanilla shake mix and make your own flavors. I add orange Tang to vanilla for a creamsicle flavor. And there are lots and lots of coffee flavorings (DaVinci makes a sugar free version) that you can add to spice it up.

That window garland is adorable!

Support groups are not for the weak. They are for the smart. Being strong is about making decisions that can keep you strong and talking about what you're experiencing is a good decision. Plus it's fun to look at pics of everyone transforming their bodies! I am scheduled for mine on Monday next. Can't wait!

Day four had kicked my butt a little though I made it under calorie and fat budget anyway. From sugar and fat withdrawal to losing my tried-and-true feelings buffer, my mood and energy level dropped straight down to the ground. I woke up with a headache and feeling cranky. I spent the rest of the day that way. I am very tired, even though I hung out on the sofa for most of the evening. I gave in at some point and had a BK veggie burger but luckily, it didn't put me over my limits.

Anyone who says this is cheating, can kiss my fatt ass.

The bright spot in my day was my son, who gave me lots of hugs and kisses even though I spent a large part of the morning fussing around him. Even my husband is trying to stay out of my way. It is probably safer for him to do so :cursing: Grrrrrrowl!

I also had a chance to read more of The Gabriel Method and using the visualizations and relaxation techniques in the book are helping.