TamifromAL

Thanks so much for both of your replies. You're both right. *I* know what's right, but sometimes the mind wanders, ya know? I assume that women who've been thin their whole lives have also learned the skills to deal with this kind of stuff. I think this is all caught up in a small mid-life crises combined with regret for giving up the best years of my life to obesity. And, trust me, hubby is reaping the benefits of my active imagination right now. :eyebrows: Tami

First, let me say that I'm happily married to a great guy. I'm not interested in making any significant changes in my life. But, I'm kind of blown away by the attention that I receive by other men. I've been fat 90% of my life, and my ego and libido are loving the attention. I assume this is why so many wls patients end up in divorce court. I don't want to be a statistic! Any thoughts? {{Kicks in the ass welcome!}}

Grace, I'm gonna be honest with you. You may have more of a struggle with maintenance than other bandsters. The reason? Because you haven't learned to eat healthy, whole foods. You are starvation dieting, just like many of us have done over and over throughout our lives. Once you loosen up that band, you may find yourself going hog wild, because you deprived yourself for so long. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I'd recommend a slight unfill now. Taking that last 20 pounds a little slower, while learning better eating habits, might make maintenance a little easier. Keeping the weight off is half of the battle. Tami

Body builder diets can be pretty darn restrictive, depending on their training phase. When they are bulking up, they eat quite a few calories, and a lot of Protein supplements, but when preparing for a competition, they have to get their body fat percentage way down, and their diet is very unrealistic for anyone not in competition. I eat carbs before working out (usually Kashi Go Lean Crunch Cereal w/ 1% milk), and some kind of protein snack when I get home. Lately I've been having protein coffee. Other than that, I still try to follow a typical "bandster" diet of lean Proteins and veggies as the main components. Tami

If you really want to get a handle on how much food/calories you should be consuming to lose weight, you might want to consider getting a BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate), or RMR (Resting Metabolic Rate) test done. I got a RMR test done by a registered dietition at my gym. She plugged in my daily activity level, and the amount of exercise, and gave me a number to shoot for. The test was about $80, and well worth it. Although I don't believe in "starvation mode" per se, I do believe that some people eat too few calories to efficiently lose weight. They even talked about that on The Biggest Loser a week or so ago. Kim was fussing at Bryan for not eating enough! Of course, a huge component of The Biggest Loser, and for any of us wanting to lose weight and keep it off is to exercise consistently and progressively. It's the only way to imrove your metabolism. Tami

I want to apologise to the "band babies" for this thread. I truly didn't mean to offend anyone, but I *thought* I was addressing the band veterans. Sometimes you want to be blunt with someone, but you just know it'll start drama, and after a while you just get tired of being pc. But, to be honest, in retrospect it's not the band babies who are the issue, it's people who don't listen, and who are not willing to make changes. It sometimes seems like those people are the "band babies" because more of them post. It's even more frustrating to read posts by someone several months into this, who asks the same questions over and over ("why am I not losing weight?"), gets tons of advice, but is unwilling to listen, and seems only to want someone to tell them "Oh, just go get a fill. Argue with the doc if he won't give you one." Then, of course two weeks later they're complaining about being overfilled. {{{Sigh}}} Some people just don't learn. Tami

I completely agree, but it goes beyond "what the doctor orders". What I don't understand is people who don't use this as a catalyst for change! Whenever I went on a new "diet" before, I sort of needed something to jolt me into change. I might pick up the latest diet book or join a gym or WW. This time I paid $14,000 and went under the surgical knife. There ain't no bigger "jolt" than that one, and I sure wasn't going to waste it. And the simple fact is that success breeds success. Those who jump into this with motivation to change *immediately* are the ones who are more likely to achieve their goals. The ones who wait for restriction to do it for them are the ones who struggle. Tami

Wanda, I personally don't have a problem with honest questions from *anyone*, band baby or not. But, it seems like there are an awful lot of posters who want to justify poor choices, even when they *know* better. They want someone to tell them they can have their cake and eat it, too. I appreciate people who come to the message boards before surgery to find out as much as they can. I lack respect for the ones who get the surgery 'cause the doc told 'em to, but never bothered to find out how the band will impact their lives, or how their eating habits will have to change in order to be successful. I'm glad you had a chance to vent, and I hope you appreciate the fact that once in a while us "oldbies" deserve a chance to vent, too. Tami

As I tell them, I'm genetically blessed as far as the arms go. I do work out (Group Power barbell class 2x weekly & 1x weekly Cybex routine), but my arm definition comes as much from my Daddy as anthing else! (Unfortunately I also got my mom's big ol' butt.) Tami

I love having the fitness trainers and even buff guys at the gym ask me about my arm routine. Tami

Hmm....I think what means the most to me is when I have other bandsters tell me that I'm their inspiration. It's a lot to live up to, so maybe it'll help keep me in line a little bit! But, I also had a special "compliment" while I was driving down the highway. I was slowly passing a car, and I hear a loud whistle. I glanced over, and there are 3 young men in the car, one hanging out the back window, yelled, "Hey mama, you lookin' hot!" LOL I got past them, and out of sight before I pulled down the mirror to take a glance and say to myself, "I do??!!....yeah. I do." Tami

Thanks! I do like this site, because it seems like there are more experienced bandsters here than at OH, but I like the way they have the profile/blogging/pics set up over there. I'll try to get over here more often! Tami

The one that bugs me the most kinda relates to the situation I posted about at the top of this thread. I just don't understand when someone is so tight that they can barely eat, yet they go for a fill because they're hungry between meals. Ummm...duh. You get hungry when you don't eat solid foods! As a very wise bandster (Jachut) once said, "we cannot rely on our bands to be so tight that we simply cannot eat very much. You just have to leave enough space to eat real food and call in some self control, sensibility and willpower to use the band wisely, its the biggest (and most difficult) lesson we all have to learn. Its a tool, not a total fix (dammit)." Tami

WAR EAGLE, my friend! [ame=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=TAAQfmSoSQk]YouTube - War Eagle Rap[/ame] Tami

Ooops, sorry, didn't mean to stir somethin' up! I read and post more often over at Obesity Help, but they don't have a thread for "Life at or near goal". The closest they have is Weight Loss Surgery Graduates, and unfortunately it seems to be all gastric bypass folks, and the vast majority seem to have gained and are trying to lose again. I'm counting my blessings today for the simple reason that I really feel that "I get it". I get what it takes to lose weight and keep it off (fingers crossed). I don't expect the band to do it for me. But it helps! I think that's one of the benefits of the band over gastric bypass. You don't get to goal without some major changes in eating and exercise, whereas with GB, they might actually get to goal and *then* have to learn new habits to stay there (or not, and gain). Sometimes I feel like I've lost touch with the newbies because I just can't relate to some of the behaviors and thought patterns. But, realistically, I know that it's a process. You don't figure it all out overnight. It takes time, mistakes, and willingness to learn from them. So, I'll try to be more patient and bite my tongue! Tami

Congratulations! You look awesome. I loved your comment about re-setting your set point. I used to say my "set point" was around 200 lbs., because it seemed like that's where I kept returning. But, I've "re-set" it to 165, since I've been within 2-3 lbs. of that for six months now. Sometimes I think I want to go down another 5-10 lbs., but if I can stay around this weight for the rest of my life, I'll be happy! Tami

I still wear a size 9, but now I can find medium width shoes that fit, rather than searching for the nearly non-existent double-wide! It opens up sooo many more choices. I was so sick to death of Cobbie Cuddlers and Naturalizer granny shoes! What a pleasure it was to toss 'em in the trash! Tami

I'm gonna go off on a little rant here. I post to another site, and really try to be supportive and help new bandsters get off on a good start. But, sometimes it's so hard not to want to slap 'em across the face. Don't they investigate this procedure before getting banded to understand what to expect? Someone posted on the other site saying she was frustrated with her doctor because he put in too much saline in the band at her second fill appointment. But, when I looked at her previous posts, less than three weeks before her fill she was posting that she was so restricted after her first fill that she couldn't comfortably eat cottage cheese or tuna with mayo! But, she "only" lost 6 lbs. since the first fill, so ran back to the doc for another fill. Sheesh. Tami

I think it's certainly possible, but a lot depends on how you carried your weight. I tend to be naturally thinner through the waist, and already have well-defined abs (not quite a six pack, though), at a BMI of 25. But, I have to be honest with you and say that you might not want to focus too heavily on having a wonderful tummy, because you'll still have scars and a lump where your port is located. I know some people can still pull off a two piece bathing suit (like Jachut!), but I'm gonna stick with a one-piece or tankini, even with pretty awesome abs. Tami

Oh, there's plenty. But I'm not just an American. I'm a *Southern* American. Bad as I hate to share it with ya'll, I reckon I gotta: Southern Hillbilly Dictionary.....Originals For You (Pay no mind to me. I promise to stay on track here on out!) Tami

I've kept a moderate fill level since the beginning, and rarely have trouble eating. When I got to goal, I talked to my doc about it, and he said that if I was on the tight side, he'd remove some fill for maintenance, but that it's best to keep some saline in the band. *For me* your level of restriction would be a bit too much. Tami

If anyone else is struggling with Aussie slang, here's a bonzer site with big mobs of slang to help prevent bodgy translations. Aren't I just bottling my blood's worth? (arvo = afternoon) AUSTRALIAN SLANG, AUSSIE LINGO, AUSTRALIAN PHRASES, SLANG IN AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIAN DICTIONARY, AUSTRALIAN WORDS, SPEAKING IN AUSTRALIA, AUSSIE TALK Give it a burl! Tami

Hi all, I was so glad to run across this thread. I've kinda been at a loss over the past few months for an internet "home". I haven't read all the posts yet, but so many are hitting home with me! I look forward to getting to know ya'll, and learning to "pass for thin". One of the things that always gets to me is laundry. I'll be folding the laundry, pull out a pair of jeans, hold them up and wonder, "whose are these little jeans? Oh yeah, they're mine." Tami

Hi Barbara! Congrats on your surgery. You're off to a wonderful start with a 20 lb. loss! Unfortunately, I'm going to have to miss the support group meeting this month. We'll be at the beach, soaking up the sun and sippin' margheritas (not too many, though!) Good luck with your first fill, but don't be surprised if it takes you 2-3 fills to get good restriction. Keep up the good work! Tami

Season, wow, your surgery is almost here! I'll bet you'll be OK for the photo shoot. I was pretty much back to normal within a week, except for heavy lifting. You asked about my anniversary...it's our 27th this year, which is so totally hard for me to believe. I got married when I was 10, of course. LOL I had some gas pains in the first couple of days after surgery. I had a really bad gas bubble in my lower left abdomen in the recovery room, and it took some extra pain meds to even get me to the point where I could stand up. But, it eased up enough for me to get on home, and it was gone that afternoon. The remaining gas pains weren't all that bad. I think I was off of pain meds by mid-day the 3rd day after surgery. As for the skin, well, it could be better. I'll have to admit to already having had plastic surgery in the past. I lost 90 lbs. about 12 years ago, all the way to goal, and had a lower body lift and breast lift/augmentation. Unfortunately, I threw that all out the window with the re-gain. :-( My breasts definitely need some work, but I think I'll wait a bit on anything else. I'm 47 years old, and don't have a real driving desire to have a tight bod any more! I'm just thrilled to look good in clothes again. At the pre-op appointment they want to make sure you have paid if you are self-pay (lol---hey, they have their priorities, too), do a blood draw, and an ekg. I think that's when Naomi gave me the book by Jessie Ahroni, too. And they give you a link to the Emmi site online, which is basically an instructional site to make sure you know what you're getting into. They also give you some pre-op info, like fasting the day before surgery, and doing a bowel cleanse. For the bowel cleanse, you drink this nasty-tasting stuff and stay verrrry close to a bathroom for several hours. Bamalama, yep, my surgery was outpatient. I went in at the crack of dawn, had the surgery at 7am, and was on my way home by noon. I only live about 25" from MCE, so that was no problem for me. I agree with the idea of staying a night in town if you can. Dothan would be quite a drive right out from surgery. But, on the other hand, as long as you're on your pain meds, and can recline in the seat while someone else drives, you'll probably just sleep most of the day, anyway. One tip for those of you getting ready for surgery. Make sure you take your pain meds on that first day. I fell asleep when I got home, and was a couple hours late for my next dose. It then took about 30-45" for the pain meds to kick in. So, even though you'll probably sleep a good bit that first day, set an alarm, or have someone wake you to take your medicine. And get up and walk around, too. That really helps with the gas. Also, see if they'll give you the prescription for your pain medication at your pre-op meeting. I didn't get mine until the day of surgery, and that meant a side trip to the pharmacy on the way home. Make sure you have a liquid medicine measuring cup/spoon, or pick one up while you're there. Good luck ya'll, Tami