BJean

Bubble darlin' I just spilt mine - some of my innermost horrors - time for you to cough it up! Give us the straight skinny!

I guess I posted my two worst in the wrong order.

The other one vying for the worst was when I worked as a deputy court clerk. I had been wanting a job with an really cool attorney I had met at the court house, who was running for District Attorney. He was brilliant, politically bound for stardom and just a very nice person, and someone I admired tremendously. My roommate (also worked at the court house) had a crush on a young, good-looking attorney named Paul, and would have done anything for a date with him. Unbeknownst to me, a MARRIED attorney had a major crush on me. He was best buddies with Paul. One day, Paul told Rebecca that if she would convince me to go out with the 3 of them, he would take her to dinner the following Saturday night. Rebecca called me at work, all excited, and asked if I would be willing to go put up campaign placards for my political hero running for District Attorney that night with her and Paul. I said that I would, knowing that I'd get big brownie points from my potential boss. When I got home from work, Rebecca told me to put on my jeans and the "guys" would be by to pick us up shortly. I said, "Guys?" She told me that it was just Paul and an attorney that we both knew and that they were picking up the campaign placards before they came to get us. I did as I was told and when I climbed into the backseat of the car, I found the married attorney grinning at me like a cheshire cat. I was very young and naive and still just didn't understand what was going on. Instead of putting up placards, Paul drove to the local "Lovers Leap" parking place. He and Rebecca quickly jumped out of the car and disappeared. I felt like a total idiot and asked this married dude what the heck was going on. He grabbed my hand, forced it on his very stiff, fully-exposed "member" and proceeded to go to town. By the time I grabbed my hand back, it was too late and he had done the deed with his "spooge" (as Wheet called it) flying everywhere. I jumped out of the car and screamed for Rebecca to come to the car right this minute! They knew it was bad because they showed up from behind some rocks immediately. Rebecca and Paul jumped into the front seat, I got back into the back seat with the ignoramus jerk-off and we proceeded back to the apartment in dead, I mean dead, silence. The revolting thing was that every time we drove under a street light, the spots of spooge shone like neon polka dots all over the window right beside my head. My question is this... was I raped? Sure felt like it.

My story pales by comparison, but for me it was simply the worst!!! We had friends come for a visit. He and she were both the epitome of suave and sophisticated. I usually feel like I'm pretty together except with I'm around them. Then I feel like I just fell off the turnip truck. We took them to dinner at a very nice restaurant. I was as put together as I could manage, including the de rigeur shoulder pads of the day. Half way through dinner I hear the table behind us laughing hysterically. I turned to see what was going on and the woman directly behind me laughed and said, "Sweetie, it looks like you lost something!" *uproarious guffaws* from her tablemates. I looked down and on the floor lying beside my chair like a dead rat, is one of my big over-sized shoulder pads. Our male dinner companion said, "What is it?" I was already beet red, fighting back tears and said, "Nothing!!" and gave the lady at the next table the most fierce "Shut the F up!" look that I could muster. I grabbed the shoulder pad, stuffed it under my napkin and tried to pretend like nothing had happened. It all sounds very innocuous now, but believe me, I was mortified!

Kat: I gotta tell you that I can watch Sylvia Brown, claws and all, and hear what she says to various people and actually find myself boo-hooing. It's like she's talking to me, telling me that my Mom and Sister are out there somewhere and happy and doing fine, and wanting me to be okay. Maybe this explains her popularity. It is a good thing to believe that things that went unsaid or undone are all right now. Even if you just miss someone, that they (the departed) love you and that where they are is fine and that they want you to get on with your own life. Who wouldn't want to hear that? Can you imagine what it must be like if a person killed someone you love and you don't know who did it or why they did it? Any answer is better than no answer. Everybody needs some closure. Sylvia Brown may be a quack, but what she's doing isn't causing a lot of harm and it can defintely help people who are in pain over a loss.

Anne: Congratulations on your successful surgery. Welcome to bandland! Yes, the port site soreness is normal - at least it was for me. It took a while before I was ready to sleep on that side. The burping and some bloating is normal too. I did it so much that I thought the Protein Shake was to blame. My dietician said that it definitely should not be the problem and I thought she must be just too busy to deal with it. However I listened to her, kept taking it and it went away. I can use it now with no adverse effects. So the tummy rumbling and all that is just part of the process. My best to you in your journey to better health! I hope you find this forum as much fun and help as I have.

There's a little town near Orlando named Lake Helen. It is full of "spiritualists" and palm readers, etc. One particular gal would tell you about the people in a picture if you brought one in. My friend went and took a photo of her family. She went in and the "picture reader" told her to lay the photo face down on the table. We'll call the reader Helen. Anyway Helen started describing my friend's husband and her 3 boys. She even told my friend their names. Now I don't know what the trick was, and I'm pretty sure there was one, but it was fairly impressive to hear my friend tell it. So 3 of my friends and I decided to go over one day and get our palms read. It cost $35 for a reading. We all spread out in different directions and went to the various people who did the readings. The gal I went to was very good. :rolleyes She would ask a question and you would reveal some small thing (like being married) and she would tell you something about your husband. Well, she could tell by my age and my clothes about what socio-economic status we were and one leading question and brilliant observation after another was revealed to me and before I knew it she had my husband having an affair with someone who he met at a bar and that he goes to this bar every day at lunch to see her and that I better get myself an attorney. I don't know what all this BS is that they don't bear bad news, but she tried her best to rock my world. My husband doesn't drink, didn't take lunch hours very often, doesn't go to bars frequently and wasn't having an affair. Other than that, she was spot on. Same scenario for my friends visits to their palm readers. The one thing we all knew for sure when we drove out of town was that our purses were $35 lighter.

gonnabe: Woo hoo! I figured that there was a reasonable explanation. I've thought the worst sometimes when something has come up with my DH over the years and I have always found out that there is a reason and/or good explanation and that I have been too quick to assume something is being hidden from me. We see so much on Oprah and Maury, we don't want to be the last person to know something went wrong. Big sigh of relief and a little embarrassment goes along with something like this, but I guess we all do it.

Does anybody watch Judge Judy? I used to catch her occasionally and the other day I was surfin' and stopped to listen to a case. Geez! She is really harsh! I like that one lady who goes on the other talk show (can't think of his name - oldtimer's disease) who speaks to the dead and tells you that they're fine and just wanting you to be happy. *sob* :cry

Isn't it funny how something so obnoxious can both irritate you and fascinate you! Good ole' Jerry Springer.

Yeah. I always complained to my parents because they weren't independently wealthy. I often wished I were an only child too. I was the youngest of four. Not much left for the littlest one. Hand-me-downs were awful because I never actually grew into them. The only real fights my parents had were over money... and the lack of it. Some of those were knock-down-drag-out doozies! My Dad reminded me of Ralph Cramden.

Good grief!!! How big ARE they? Under the covers??? :omg: My boyfriend in high school (hot, humid Oklahoma) woke up once one night with something biting his arm. He screamed and his Mom ran in and turned on the light. He said it was a huge cockroach like bug biting him. Maybe it was one of those flying tree roaches. **Shudder!**

Sharon L: Yes honey, there is lots of hope! I'm 5'1.5" and started this journey at 220. Six months later I weigh 178. Still have lots to lose, but I have a big chunk gone. I need both knees replaced, high BP, Cholesterol, Triglycerides, etc. I wasn't diagnosed with sleep apnea, but my husband couldn't get any sleep in the same room with me because I was working so hard to breathe at night. Btw, I am older than you - and not just by a year or two. Keep doing your research and learn all you can, listen to the doctors and then make a decision. You may choose to go read the section at Lap Band Talk where people are having problems and it is good to know what complications could happen. You must realize though that most of the people here wouldn't trade their band for anything! I'm one of them.

TOM: As I was reading your post about your long hours I was thinking the same thing your son must have said, Where's Dad? My DH was the first at work and the last to leave. He pushed very hard and went up the ranks quickly. That was very nice monetarily, but he sure missed out on so many things with our kids. I don't think it bothered him until recently. Our grandchildren are a set of 4 yr. old twin boys and a 4 yr. old little girl. He is paying much more attention to them and interacting with them much more than he ever did with his own kids. It sort of breaks my heart to see the pain in his eyes when he realizes what all he missed out on all those years. But his hard work, business savvy and education allowed me to be home with the kids most of the time. I did work off and on but in a job that had flexible hours - real estate. I LOVED having an income. It made me less dependent on him which he interestingly enough, didn't like.

I never encountered one of them buzzards in Texas or Arizona. Guess I'm lucky or I've seen fewer hummingbirds than I thought I had.

MsDad: Hilarious! One of my favs was when Edina needed to lose a bunch of weight right away. She was on a massage table, they smathered her with tons of mud and wrapped her tightly like a mummy. She was supposed to lose something like 10 lbs. When they unwrapped her, she had GAINED weight! I could SO identify!

Run Forest, Run!

My nephew has been rear-ended twice. His fancy Beemer has the vanity plate: KP UR DST

TOM if you're able to invest in stock like that, it's no wonder Tina leaves it in your hands.

It is about the money. It is also about the betrayal. What lies beneath the deception is very important. It can be something very understandable, like he thinks he works hard and deserves to have some spending money that he doesn't have to account for. Or it could be something that is undermining the relationship. I don't blame you for being angry, but before I would go postal on him, I would try my very level best to put myself in his place and understand what motivated him to do it. Of course that calls for a "come clean" confession on his part. If you expect him to be totally honest, you must make him feel that if he is totally honest with you, that you won't turn around and punish him for it.

Well said, TOM.

Good. I hope you're off the grammatical, spelling, adverb vs. adjective, noun with 's pronouns without, alright vs. all right, a lot and various other posting pet peeves. I was feeling very paranoid. :paranoid Hey, that can be my pet peeve: People who Pick on my Postings. It's the three pees that bug me. Speaking of bugs, :omg: I've lived in both Arizona and Florida. As far as I'm concerned, Florida wins. (See TOM's photo of "Spot") Florida has a, what did you call them Bubble? Sewer bug? Well Florida has one variety of big mean ole water bug, roach looking things that can actually spit a sort of acid in your eyes. Happened to one of my daughter's friends. She went to confront one of them in her bathroom one day, got too close and it spat a dart of gunk in her eyes. She did wind up in the ER, although it wasn't serious, except for the sting! Bubblebutt has the right idea, scream bloody murder and head for the door! God never seriously intended for human beings to live in Florida. He made that place specifically for all manner of creepy critters. It is their home and for those of you who live there, I suggest you get out while you still can!

Eddie: You've caught onto our fun quicker than most. Glad to have a fellow serious and smart a-hole aboard.

Ouch. Reminds me of an ER nurse friend of mine who told us about a young man who had a love affair with a light bulb. It had a dark ending.

That adult diaper changing comment from your co-worker is not funny. I resemble that remark. :rolleyes