ElfiePoo

Ok, it's only .1 but I am officially below a 40 BMI! What a way to start the week! .

It comes down to calories taken in vs. calories expended. You *could* possibly lose 50 pounds by July but you'll most likely have to go on a killer exercise regimen to do it since you'll just lose slower if you drop your calories below 1200. Leigha gave some great advice. Fast food is a killer. You can eat a day's calorie requirements in one meal! I've found I'm most successful when I keep it simple. No casseroles or fancy dishes. Just 3 oz grilled or broiled Protein, 1/2 cup steamed vegies and *maybe* (if I still have room) 1/4 cup of carbs (Pasta, potatoes, rice, etc.). If you can eat more than 1/2-1 cup of food in 20-30 minutes (the amount of time you should allot for a meal) and you're hungry before 4 hours have gone by, you need to go for a fill. Don't forget to drink your 64 oz of Water a day. That definitely makes a difference in how quickly the weight drops off. Remember...without fills and proper restriction, it's just a piece of plastic...and not even decorative since nobody can see it. .

My daughter-in-law had her gallbladder removed at age 21 and, yes, she has problems if she eats greasy/fatty foods. Sometimes she'll just become very nauseous and will eventually throw up a couple tablespoons of pure grease...other times she gets really bad pain requiring pain meds. Needless to say that as the years have passed (now 5 years), she rarely makes the stupid decision to eat fatty foods because it's just too painful. .

I'm putting this here because I didn't want to derail the thread it was in. Also, I am not arguing against the merits of exercise or, alternatively, an active lifestyle. I am merely exposing a myth that one *must* exercise to lose weight. Recent research has proven that's not totally true...and plain logic shows it's not true. Losing or gaining has to do with calories in vs. calories expended. Now, there's no denying that exercising will help you burn those calories faster...or allow you to continue with the 2 lb a week weight loss but be able to eat more. But you can lose without exercising. For example, to maintain my weight of 229 pounds at my age, height and activity level, I would need around 1700 calories per day. To maintain a weight of 140 pounds, everything else being the same, I would need 1550 calories per day. So if I eat 1550 calories a day *now*, I will lose weight but slowly. If I want to lose weight a bit more quickly without exercising, I can drop my daily calories to 1200 and lose about 2 pounds per week. As I get closer to my goal weight, the amount of calories needed to maintain the current weight vs the goal weight becomes less, which means I will lose more slowly...but I will lose...and without exercise. I can still lose weight faster without exercising though...keeping in mind that I think of 'exercise' as as a formalized regimen such as aerobics, Pilates, going to the gym, walking 30 minutes each day, etc. Instead I could just increase my daily activity through gardening, lawn mowing, leaf raking, snow shoveling, washing walls, scrubbing floors, backpacking, cross country skiing, hiking, dancing, etc. But if I choose to do neither, I will still lose...just more slowly. . .

Obviously, with such a small glimpse it's hard to come to any conclusion, but it sounds as if you may both have 'settled' on a relationship because you were both overweight, thought nobody else would want you and didn't want to be alone. His lack of support comes from the knowledge that if you lose weight, you'll no longer have need of this relationship. Your ready acceptance with no worries about the loss of that relationship says you already recognize you no longer have need of this relationship. He's not the bad guy here...and neither are you. It's just that your relationship wasn't built on a solid foundation to begin with. .

We'll see. :thumbup: It's inevitable that we will change. We change on a daily basis as a result of the experiences in our life. The changes don't have to be huge. Some are subtle...but they all affect the relationships in our life in some way. Like you, I've never had a problem with self-esteem. I am an assertive person who knows what I want out of life and goes after it...but I can't say that my weight hasn't factored into some of my choices. For example, my past career choices have all been limited by my weight. Not because *I* limited myself, but because my choices were limited by others as a result of my weight. When I was 18, I wanted to join the military and be a nurse. Neither option was available. Both had weight requirements. So the career path I chose was something completely different...and even in that my choices were determined by the attitudes of others. Do you know how many secretarial jobs and then teaching jobs I lost because I was fat? On the plus side, I would probably never have opened my own business or gone back to get my masters and doctorate so that *I* would have control over my life instead of the prejudices of others. Like you, my core relationships will still be there and they will still accept me and support me *but* they will change because I am changing. I did (and they did) after 70 lbs and they are once again even after only 30 lbs for no other reason than I will have far more choices in life at 130 pounds than I did at 330 pounds just because I am in better physical shape and not limited by my own physical health or the prejudices/policies/realities of others. At 330 pounds I could barely walk across the living room without being in pain. Now, at 229 pounds, I'm taking Tai Chi lessons with my husband (who had to be gently coerced into doing it) and going to aerobics with my mother-in-law (who had to gently coerce me into doing it). The relationships have changed, no doubt. .

When you get 'stuck', you will know without a doubt because you will be in pain. It feels like you have a fist stuck just at the bottom of your breast bone. .

I'm only 3 months postop, but I have absolutely no regrets. I know I could not have lost the last 31 pounds without the band. Yes, I lost it without the band actually helping with restriction (although I think this last fill may have done it), but it was because I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Never heard of them. What are they? .

I'd hang on to that check and call your insurance company pronto. If that's what they said they were billed, I would then call your surgeon's office. That's outrageous. I've never heard of this surgery costing more than $20K. Makes you wonder if your surgeon didnt pad the bill by saying he did a hernia repair or some other needed 'extra'. When I use an out of network doctor, BC/BS of Michigan sends me the check. If I use an in network doctor, it sends it to them but I get a printout of what was billed. .

Our relationships *will* change...because *we* will change and let's face it...not all fat people are sweet and jolly. Some are just downright mean or bitter from years of resentment at how they'd been treated by others, but they hide it because they already suffer from low self-esteem and won't put themselves out there to be hurt. When they take the weight off and see themselves as hot stuff, they now feel confident to be who they truly are and no longer pull their punches. Some feel they've lost their youth because of being fat, so they need to make up for lost time which may involve dumping a spouse and becoming a party girl/boy and promiscuous sex just to prove to themselves that they're desireable. Some have created lives based on their low self-esteem...settling for second best...putting up with emotionally or physically abusive spouses because it's better than being alone and believing nobody else could ever love them as a fat person...and when they lose the weight, the feel they can now do better. Sadly, many of these people don't understand that they are usually destined to end up in the same type of relationships because it wasn't their 'fat' that put them there...it was their low self-worth. This is why so many experts recommend that therapy be a part of any weight loss program. It's not just to change our attitudes/behavior towards food, but also to deal with our emotional reaction to losing weight...and hopefully before we toss a good marriage or good relationships down the tubes during the emotional upheaval. .

Start with your Proteins (chicken, beef, pork, fish, tofu, eggs, etc.), then eat your vegies, then your carbs (breads, potatoes, rice, peas, corn, etc.). There's nothing wrong with red meat and no reason to avoid it. .

I don't understand the purpose of bandster hell. Bandster hell is when you have your band, but no restriction and are trying to eat as if you have restriction. In other words...you're 'dieting' and feeling hungry just as you were pre-band. My doc's advice was to eat if I was hungry, but make good choices. In other words, I could sit down and have my baked potato, salad and 6+ oz of steak and not be concerned about the '1 cup' limit if I was hungry. He also advised Snacks between meals and mid-evening. Snacks meaning 'good' snacks like a hard boiled egg, a couple ounces of cheese, half a cup of cottage cheese or (my personal favorite) a low carb, low cal Protein shake. I also don't understand why doctors make their patients wait months for that first fill or wait months between fills when it's not necessary. I had my first fill at 4 weeks and follow-up fills at approximately every 2 weeks and *I* decided if I needed a fill, not the doctor. Guess the difference is that my doctor has a band as well and has first hand experience to go with his "book learnin'". I'm at a bit more than 3 months postop with 8.5cc in my band and a few temporary restriction after my last two fills (and hopefully this one is permanent) and slowly but steadily losing weight...and didn't do bandster hell. .

Take them with you and let them carry it in. I guarantee they'll be begging to do it again the next week.

Feel like baking things you know you can't have (or can't eat) but worried about fattening up your friends and family with your goodies? Donate them to your local homeless shelter...they'll love you for it. A couple of years ago I had this wild idea to bake a number of loaves of challah and take it down to the homeless shelter. It felt so good that a week later I took down some homemade dinner rolls. After finding out how warmly these homebaked goodies were to the shelter's clients, it became somewhat of a tradition to do this through the winter months with no danger of fattening these people up. Some are painfully thin. Today I baked 6 gingerbread cakes (in bundt pans) and my son and I will take them down in the morning. It's a double blessing. I get the joy of baking (my house smells marvelous!) and the joy of giving...and all without the temptation sitting on the counter for a week. .

I originally didn't go see it because the trailers made it seem to be just another movie making money off of fat jokes. However, I watched it one afternoon when I had nothing else to do and was pleasantly surprised. This movie was less about fat people and more to do with the prejudices of others towards fat people. I loved it. .

The normal weight people I know don't constantly obsess about food, one way or the other. That's where I want to be...but I have a feeling that's not going to happen. Mainly because I know how dangerous food is to me. As someone said previously, it's an addiction, so perhaps something we must always be aware of lest we slide back into it. btrieger...just wanted to comment that I am impressed with your weight loss as, if I understand correctly, you aren't even banded yet! Congratulations and when is your banding date? .

Erin, You might try calling one of those suicide hotlines. I know you said you aren't suicidal, but I used to volunteer on one and we'd get calls from people who were just down in the dumps and lonely. We had a list of free clinics where you could go and talk with someone, although many times, just having a compassionate ear on the other end of a phone was all some people needed. You might find your local help hotline has the same. Blogging and journaling help some people. Others need a real live person and voice. :sifone: .

Holy mackerel! I had another fill on Thursday, taking me up to 8.5cc in a 12cc band and had a crash course in sliming! My fill was at 8:15. At noon, I ate about 1 oz of edam cheese and 1 oz of genoa salami and I was full. No problems eating it. At 5 p.m. I put 1 cup of beef stew into a bowl and ate just a tad more than 1/2 cup. The last bite of potato did me in. I wasn't stuck...but was apparently 'stuffed'. I was not paying attention to my body but to the '1 cup' (which apparently I can no longer eat...at least for the moment) For the next 30 minutes, I slimed enough to make a snail envious. I finally leaned over the weight basket and belched...loudly...several times. On the last belch, a small amount of food shot out and things settled back to normal...but Holy Hannah! That was the most miserable 30 minutes of my life! Needless to say I'm going to be a bit more cautious and pay attention to what my body is saying, rather than the quantity of food. The silver lining to all of this is that we're going to visit my son this weekend (he's in the army but finishing up his bachelor's in the U.P.) and I baked a gingerbread cake (his favorite) to take to him. No worries now about being tempted to eat it cuz I know that puppy will get stuck with one teensy bite. .

Yep, it's allowed. Just remember the rules...protein first, then vegies and then...if you still are hungry and have room, the carbs. Do yourself a favor...weigh the Pasta when you serve yourself. A serving of spaghetti is 2 oz dry (5 oz cooked al dente). The first time I weighed out my portion, I was horrified at how many portions I had overeaten in the past. Really, 5 oz cooked is a nice portion though. After my last fill, I noticed that when I got to the carb portion of my dinner, I turned it down or only ate a bite or two because I was full at that point. .

I use EAS whey chocolate Protein (Sam's Club) powder and mix it with milk and half a banana for breakfast. For my mid-meals, I do the readymade EAS chocolate drinks because they're lower in calories. The best I can say about any of these shakes is that they're 'okay' and don't make me barf. Sure, I'd rather have a cheeseburger and fries, but I just drink 'em down and tell myself to suck it up...it's the protein that's important. :sifone: .

Sometimes I can eat toast...sometimes I can't. The night before my last fill (yesterday), I splurged on half of a BLT (no lettuce) and had no difficulty. The day before I tried to eat a piece of thin, well toasted bread and it was a no go. This morning I'm drinking warm tea because I can't even get my Protein shake down. You may find that on another occasion, the toast won't give you any problems because our bands change in tightness from one hour to the next and one day to the next. .

You probably have a different band than those at 8. I have a Realize band that holds 12cc and I'm up to 8.5. They told me most patients reach restriction between 8 and 9 so I'm crossing my fingers that this will give me restriction past the swelling stage. As for stopping after 6cc's. If you reach 6 cc's and can still eat to excess and are still hungry, hold his toes to the fire for more fills. My guess is that most of his patients reach restriction at 6...but we are all different. My fills were about 2 weeks apart and my first was 3cc, second was 3cc, third was 2cc but they had to remove 1 because it was too much (due to swelling). Since then they've been .5cc fills and, even though I needed another fill 2 weeks after the .5cc, if they had put in 1cc, I would have had to have an unfill because I'm getting close and the swelling has a deeper impact. I have to say that my experience with this band and my care provider have been markedly different than many here, but I have a feeling it's because my doctor has a band and has personal experience...something a book can never teach. .

Cariel, The preop and postop diets are not carved in stone and will vary among doctors. Based on past posts here and on other forums, some doctors have people back on regular food within a week. Others keep their patients on complete liquids for a full month after surgery. My doctor had me spend 2-3 days on each phase (liquids, mushies, etc.) of the postop diet and I was back on regular foods by the end of two weeks. So I doubt you've done any damage. Keep in mind that right now all you have is a little piece of plastic inside you. Any restriction you have is due to swelling, not the band. Until you start getting fills...and restriction...and depending on how much swelling your band causes, you may find that you're already back to the point where you were preband...meaning hungry all the time. My doc told me to eat if I'm hungry, but make wise choices. In other words, no junk. So for the last 3 months post op I've only lost 17 pounds (the rest was preop) because I have eaten more than 1 cup of food but that's ok. I haven't been miserable. Personally, I would say if you're hungry and really have to eat, just move to the next stage. That's better than diving right into regular food again. .

Lolly, Studies have long shown that women who eat between 1200-1400 per day lose faster than those eating less. I just read an article that said a new study shows that women who eat 1700 calories a day lose faster than those eating 1200 per day. I'm not sure how they figure that since that's what the calculations say I need just to *maintain* a weight of 229. Good luck with your changes. I know how frustrating it is to be yo-yo-ing between the same few pounds. I've been doing it for two months...hopefully no longer now that I have restriction after yesterday's fill. .