bashful1269

I woke up cranky this morning and it's been a battle ever since to try and maintain a happy face today. It doesn't happen often that I'm cranky, but man when it does...Look OUT! :thumbup::cursing::eek::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing::cursing:

I stayed in my office most of the day because I knew I was cranky and although, I really wanted to chew today, I thought it best not to chew on my employees.

Happy thought for the day...I did get to the soft food phase finally, man it is really nice to have to chew even if it is only 1.5 ounces at a time.

I did go to the gym after work and had a good workout on the crossglider..45 minutes ...500 calories burned!!!!!!!!! Heck that's about 200 more than I ate today! Life is good.

That's all I have for today, I'm going to BED!

I'm so excited! Tomorrow is the beginning of a new phase for me. I get to move on to soft foods. I will be making copies of the food log the nut gave me and will be writing down everything I put in my mouth. The scale hasn't budged for the last four days and I'm getting frustrated with that. I know I know, stay off the stupid thing!

Awww, mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Whewww, glad someone's looking out for me Lauraq!!! LOL I could get into T R O U B L E~!~~ Hey wait...I wouldn't mind getting into T R O U B L E with HOT Greg...

Oooops, there went the bashful right out the window.

You have every right to be a negative nelly in this situation! That's CRAZY he should have at least listened to you and your concerns. I agree get a new doc!

I'm really sorry you had to go through that and that this journey has not been an easy one for you. I hope that you are able to find a doc that cares for you and can help you.

We're all here to help support you on this journey! Best of all most of us are going through it with you and there are some great seasoned pros out there that have been doing this for a while. Don't be afraid to holla out for help.

Congrats on your journey. Sorry your mom is not supportive of you.

Today was my first day back after having surgery on 7/22/09. I am a wage continued employee which means that I continue to receive my full salary whether or not I'm there, so I took ten days to recoup. Since that's what my doctor told me would be a good amount of time considering the type of work that I do. I'm glad I listened I'm BEAT!! I had every intention of going to the gym today after work, but there is just no way. I'll go for my two mile walk after it cools down a bit.

Work was good now time for the NSV!!

Hot Greg NOTICED I had lost weight and told me that I was looking good!!! Yea!!!!! Me!!! :sneaky::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::tt1::thumbup:

and I was able to completely slip my size 16 work pants down over my hips without undoing the buttons or zipper...time to go SHOPPING!!! I have a feeling it's going to be my new addiction...shopping!

That's all the energy I have for the moment. I'm going to take a much needed nap!

If you didn't live so far away I'd set you up to meet Davey!! I'll have to find a pic of him so you can check him out.

OMG, that's hilarious!!!! I can so picture this in my mind...Too FUNNY!

My friend Donna came over this morning and we went shopping. I ate my 4 oz of yogurt before we left around 11am and we weren't planning on being gone that long...HA! We finally made it back home around 6:30 pm and I hadn't eaten anything all day except for the yogurt. I was STARVING!! I made potato soup which I made using skim milk and low fat cheese. I ate an entire soup cup! I was so FULL that I was having a terrible pain in my shoulder and smack dab in the middle of my chest, it felt like I was having a heart attack...I pray my stitches weren't ripping from my band. PAIN PAIN PAIN, THAT WILL TEACH ME TO OVER EAT!! I didn't think it would be that bad because it was just liquid I didn't even eat the potato parts. Dumb!

My hot water heater went out today too. Fortunately, my friend April's bf is a HVAC guy and he just came over and took a look at it. Looks to be a bad lower element. I'm hoping it won't set me back too much. I'm thankful that he is willing to help me out. He's a great guy.

I walked even though I didn't really feel like it today. I am committed to doing what I have to do to make this band work as a tool for me. I know it's not going to be easy, but I also know that if I don't exercise I don't lose. I am planning on doing personal training with my trainer Davey in October as a birthday gift to myself. It will so be worth it, he KICKS my ass, but it's so much fun. I love working with him, he's HOT (oh yes, I do accidentally on purpose not understand how to do some exercises just so he has to show me again :sneaky:) and he's very motivating. He will be so happy that I will keep the weight off this time.

Well, it's time for me to sign this off for the day. I have to work tomorrow! I'm so excited to go back to work I know it's going to be a rough day. It will just be good to get back into the routine of working and I hope to settle into normal set eating times.

Night everybody, have a great week!

I'll call Tuna and warn her that today is not a good day to come over to play!

Fortunately, you have all of us here to support you!

Way to go!!!!! Don't you just love that feeling of being able to put on something that didn't fit and all of a sudden it does????

Congrats! I bet you look HOT! Have fun and be safe.

You have a great attitude! I think your idea of starting back with mushies and moving on is a great idea and I would agree that posting here helps as well.

Congrats on the walking 30 miles,that's awesome! And 30 pounds in three months is amazing. Just think about everyone of those 30 pounds as pounds you will never see again!

This is a journey and we are learning as we go, keep your chin up and remember you can always start making good choices at the very next meal you have to eat. You can do it!!

Thanks everybody for posting you bring up some great and valid points. I'm going to "Brush my shoulders off and move on"...

In Dave's defense, he himself if overweight and a bit frustrated with himself. We had agreed to work together at helping each other lose weight and I have supported him in his efforts, he feels he failed me in his support of me. I don't think that he at all meant to; or even knew that he had hurt my feelings. And perhaps it's just me having my emotional breakdown part of this journey.

My other friend David H.were talking and I was explaining to him about my lunch with Dave C. and he told me to just remember this. If I tried to screw a screw all the way into the wall with just my fingers, I probably would try very hard to do it, but in learning that I just couldn't do it without a tool and knowing that tool was available, that I would make the choice to go and get the tool; I needed to be able to accomplish what I had set out to do. This is just a tool that I need to accomplish the task I have been trying so desperately to do without the proper tool, now I have it, now I can use it, now I have to do the work and gain the knowledge to use the tool properly. Great analogy I thought.

So as I sit here feeling better I remind myself why I did this...I don't want to be like my mom and end up being a whole medical book of my own when I am 60 years old. I already have too many things wrong with me for a person of my age...Diabetes, Mitral Valve prolaps, a Leaking tricupsid valve in my heart and osteoarthritis and I'm only 38~ I've fought this since I was in the 5th grade that was the first doctor supervised diet...I've fought, I've lost I now have the tool...I will not lose again!

I am willing to put in the work necessary to make it through this journey. I have walked at least two miles everyday for the last week, even though I probably should be taking my time and not pushing so hard. I want to get this battle started and I want to win.

Ok, enough of my ranting and randomness.

Thanks again for everyone's support I really needed it today and I'm glad that you all were there to help me!

I went out for the first time since having surgery. My friend Dave and I went to Hunans, I was good and ate a bowl of egg drop soup minus all the stuff they put in it. I just ate the broth.

As we're sitting there having lunch Dave asks..."So, are you full yet?" So of course I have to explain to him that right now I could eat anything that I wanted but because I'm healing I follow what the Dr. tells me to.

So he goes on to ask Why, if I could follow what the Doctor has been telling me to do under my own will power to do( and doing quite well since I've lost now 25 pounds total), did I feel the need for the lapband surgery. I explained to him that I saw this as a way to finally keep the weight off. I've been successful at getting weight off before just not keeping it off.

A little later he says "So, I failed you." I said no, you didn't fail me it was a choice that I made. He kept pushing that he had failed me by not supporting me and blah blah blah.

Now, I'm a little frustrated and feeling down about myself...Questioning myself...Dave's right I should be able to do this, why can't I, why haven't I, I know how to do it I just don't...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I have been ok with this decision and researched it and know in my heart that I made the right decision, why am I letting someones opinion have this much of a hold on my thinking?

Why does it matter so much???? As I sit here in tears....Why do I care what he thinks anyway??? I'm just feeling like a failure. I hate this feeling. :sneaky::thumbup:

I used a diet plan and lost about 40 pounds in two months and it was great. I loved it so much that I became a health coach. I had a really bad breakup and stopped using it but plan on going back to using it when I can eat real food again because I love the bars. It's really simple to do and it works great. With the band I hope that I can keep the weight I lose with it off for good. If you want more information just click on the link I am posting. Take Shape For Life - The Breakthrough Approach to Fast Weight Loss and Long-Term Health Even if you chose not to use this plan I would be happy to try and keep you motivated any way that I know how. I really want to see you succeed. Your stories touch me in a deep way because I know the frustrations.

Feel free to PM me.

Stacy

Congrats!!! You should be proud!

One question first, when was the last time you saw your Surgeon for a fill? You should probably check in with him and see if he can help you.

Next, Please don't take this the wrong way as it's meant only to help you...I've read several of your blogs and there is a reoccurring theme in them all and that is what I call "negative Nelly syndrome". Your blog is laden with I can'ts and it's not gonna work anyway so why try.

When we think it we can achieve it! If we think we can't we won't. I really think that the best place for you to start getting back on this journey (mind you I haven't been on it that long so you can take this advice or leave it) is to think back to why you wanted to have this done, then check your attitude...Is your attitude conducive to achieving or failing? Do you want this or are you satisfied with making excuses as to why this won't work. PS...The why this won't work is what got us to the point we had to look toward surgery.

You're a teacher, use that to your advantage, schedule yourself time to exercise and eat right in your lesson plan.

Don't give up you can do this. I know it's not easy, I'm in bandster hell right now and could take a chunk out of a cow. I have faith in you even though I don't know you. I have faith because you wouldn't be asking for help at the end of your posts if you didn't want to do this.

So to wrap this up...ditch negative Nelly and find Positive Polly! You CAN do this!!!!!!

Well, it's Friday, two more days and it's back to reality. I'm a little nervous about going back, I work nine hour days and as it is a three hour trip to town yesterday wiped me OUT. Thankfully, I have an office job but can get up and walk when I want. I'm sure my office is a disaster by now as no one does my job while I'm away...Oh well job security right??? I love my job, I miss the people they are great.

Donna came out and walked with me. I'm so proud of her for at least making the effort. She said she felt drained before we went and then she felt great after we got back...YEA!! Me on the other hand...I'm ready for a nap. Which I'm going to take as soon as I finish this.

I like blogging because it gives me an outlet for my thoughts and helps me sleep better. I should have done it last night. I didn't go to sleep until well after 2 am as I could not shut my mind off. I was a little wound up after the softball game. It was fun! We lost but oh well. For those of you who read my blog I apologize if it's random and disorganized. I mention lots of people in my blogs and have even created a blog about the people just for additional information, if you want to know the background of the people involved in my ...days of our life blog...

I'm starting to notice a difference in my legs and I have to say I'm a little miffed at the fact that it looks like I am losing muscle, I really don't want to lose muscle although, I know that I will probably lose some. I'm going to have to drink more protein shakes. They just are so sweet that I don't really like them, never thought I'd say something was too sweet. Sugar has always been my addiction. I will struggle with it until the day I die I am sure of that. Thankfully, Russell Stovers makes really good sugarfree candy.

I'm ready for a nap! I'll blog more later if I'm feeling frisky when I wake up.

Congrats!!!! It's encouraging to see stories like yours. I'm still in bandster hell but I know I'm going to make it through it.

I feel totally DRAINED today. I think I may have over done it a bit yesterday, that and TOM(time of the month) had to show up...dang it!

I did force myself into going for a walk, I thought maybe it would give me some energy but it only drained more out of me. I think I'll have to take a nap.

The one thing that I absolutely hate about the band is not being able to take pills normally. I have to cut them in really little pieces and put them in applesauce or pudding to get them to go down. I hate taking pills anyway so having to take six small pieces of one pill is FRUSTRATING!

Last softball game is tonight!!! I really like it but I think ten weeks is a too long, it's tough keeping everybody committed. Besides it will be good not having to see Larry every week. I have to plan the bbq next I'm waiting until I'm on the soft food stage though, I want to eat like everybody else...Just not as much.

Well that's all the energy I have for my daily random thoughts...It's off to napland!:sneaky:

Sounds like you're doing great...Congrats!

Zumba is a BLAST!!!

Good luck, hope things continue to go good for you.

WOW< 47 pounds that's amazing!! I hope I have the same success! Keep up the good work!

Excellent post!

That's awesome!! You should be proud!! I'm ready to party!