NewBeginnings2018

Awww Denise, I think no matter what happens tonight, it is a HUGE success because you took the chance and got back out there. He may or may not be right for you, but you gave it a try! That's half the battle! You are beautiful, inside and out. The right guy will see this, even if you have to kiss a 100 frogs to find him. There is no need to settle, which I know you won't. I'm proud of you for taking a chance and getting back out there. I can't wait for the update!

lol Suzzie, that was hysterical! GOOD LUCK DENISE!!! I have my fingers crossed that it's a good meeting!

Welcome Marjorie! I hope you get approved! Who did you meet with? June or Kelly? They are really great. I think I started the process this time last year and I got banded on 10/2 so I think you're right on track for October. My advice - take 2 weeks. Better to be safe. Good luck - keep us updated!

Soooo cute Mandy!

Haha eyespy, I have no idea. So is it the week for ex-boyfriends to come out of the woodwork or something?? My ex of five years, the one I wrote about on the very first post when I started this thread, text messaged me today out of the blue. We haven't corresponded in over a year. It totally freaked me out. So my questions for him are #1 - when did you become such a wimp that you text me to see how I'm doing? Especially when a text message was too much to ask for when we were dating and #2 - seriously, you think I want to talk to you??? The best part of the whole story is that when I saw the message I didn't know who it was from. lol. I knew it was between him and another guy from the exchange number, but I really didn't know because I had deleted all of my ex's numbers from everything. Cracks me up because I almost texted back "who is this". hmmm...maybe I still should. lol. So anyway, that's the weird stuff happening with me today. Men! Ugh!

Hey Jersey girls! I'm alive and kicking - just busy. Wated to pop in to say hi though. Another puppy Mandy?! lol You have quite the brood! I can't wait to see pics.

I'd love to see pics Brenda!! Be brave!!!

Lmao Eyespy - you are too funny! lol Welcome Sharon! You too Dotofoz! As far as what to do with this new (old)guy, I would say just take it slow and do what you are comfortable with. I would also suggest making sure you take some time to find yourself again. You may have already done this, because I'm sure you've been separated for a while. But whatever you do, don't settle. You're worth far too much! :welldoneclap:

Denise there is definitely a need for chemistry! But it's one of those things you can't force. It's either going to be there or it's not. It's hard not to be dissapointed when it's not there, but that's life I suppose. Good luck with your meeting!! I really hope it goes well for you. New man is pretty good. We've agreed to go out again, and it will be my treat and my planning (I insisted since he has paid both times before, and for two very, very nice dinners). I'm trying to come up with something fun that doesn't surround eating. I'll take any ideas. lol. We've emailed a couple of times but haven't spoken. I don't know what it is about guys my age - they don't like to call. Grrr... But he's away for business this week, so our next date will be sometime during the week after next. I'll keep you posted.

Well eyespy there is nothing like a 3 week liquid diet to detox you from all the junk. lol. My problems were eating large volumes, hunger (snacking too much), and stress eating. The band has helped with all 3. With my 3rd fill though I'm starting to get nervous that it's going to become abundantly obvious when I go to dinner with someone that I'm not eating much. When I went to dinner with tattoo boy the other night (who knows about my surgery thank god) I was able to eat 3 scallops and a few bites of the lettuce from my salad. That's it. I'm stressing out a little bit over my dates noticing this. lol So what are some ideas for dates that don't revolve around eating????

I think you should be ok Kim with the soup. I'm a stress eater too, although I've found that 8 months out I have curbed that habit a tremendous amount. Denise - you go girl!!!! Isn't fun to even talk with someone?! Ask a lot of questions, make sure he's being honest with you, and have some fun girl! Eyspy - I don't blame you for wanting as much info about the band as you can get. For me, food has lost a lot of his luster. This in and of itself is amazing to me. I didn't feel like that right away, but 8 months and 3 fills down the road, I don't put such a big focus on eating, even though I still enjoy food. And certain foods take so much effort to eat, I never care to eat them. For example, when I go out to eat I have no interest in getting a burger & fries or even pizza, which is my all time favorite, because they take too much effort to eat. Also, with this third fill I am FINALLY feeling the benefits of staying full between meals. That was one of my biggest problems. I was always hungry. I love the fact that I can eat my breakfast and not need a snack before lunch. Sometimes I still need a small snack in the afternoon, but a small snack now fills me up. It's a beautiful thing. But like Denise said it's still very easy to eat the ice cream, cookies, and junk because that stuff goes down easy. So you still have to use your willpower. It's not as easy a journey as I thought it would be, but I am facing my personal issues with food which needs to be done if I ever want to beat this demon. I always tell myself that the band is just a tool, and whether or not I'm a success story will depend on how I use it.

See in my opinion, the thing about the band is that if you want to lose the weight, you have to change your habits. You'll only get so far with the band. You have to do just as much work. With bypass, the weight falls off and if you don't change your habits, eventually it will come back on. I'm not saying that bypass people can't change their habits, or that all bandsters do, but I think we have a better chance of keeping the weight off if it takes us 2 years to lose it. I'm with you though Carol, by whole goal is to lose it and keep it off! Denise I don't mind at all if you "borrowed" some of my profile wording. Not at all! I hope you have luck with plenty of fish. Post your pic, know that you're a hot thing and that men would be lucky to have you! Oh, I broke up with tattoo boy because he started acting funny. One week wants to see me all the time, the next week i don't hear for him for days. I talked to him about it, he told me he heard me loud and clear, but nothing changed the next two days so I dumped him. He's claiming now it takes him more than two days to process something and he knows he can be a bit high maintenance but he wished I didn't give up so early. I told him that sounds so "f-ed" up. lol. So I think we're at least on friendly terms now and we understand where the other one was coming from. I don't think it will change anything, but that's ok. I'm not sure I would want to go down that road again with him.

lol, too funny Eyespy! You go girl! Ok, so the weirdest thing happened today. Tattoo boy text messaged me this morning, and we started chatting and by the end of the conversation we started getting into why we broke up - again. We ended up meeting tonight to talk because, moreso than me, I think he needed closure. It was odd to see him again, I'll be honest. We had dinner out and talked a lot about what went down. He felt like I gave up on "us" too soon, but I think at the end he understood where I was coming from when I broke things off. We both admitted we were sad to break up, and dissapointed that it didn't work out. He apologized, I apologized and that was kind of it. So it was good to talk. I don't think we'll be friends, but at least I don't think there's any anomosity. So it was an interesting night for me to say the least.

Eyespy I love your profile. It sounds fun, and genuine. Sounds like a go to me!

Wootsie hon, I am so glad you posted! I've been thinking about you!!! Don't be down on yourself. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. If other people don't see that, it's their loss. Do what you can to see a therapist again if it helped you. I know you're on hold to get the band, and that probably bums you out as well. But I can tell you the band certainly doesn't solve all your problems. We're here for you Wootsie - always! Eyespye, I've never done that site, just Match. I don't know - I'm a little leery about that site. I think a lot of men think overweight women are easy and have low self esteem and I just worry that BBW is a feeding ground for that. I have no basis for saying that, just a feeling I get. Denise honey, you are FAR too kind. There have been plenty of guys who I've met who didn't like me or weren't attracted to me. The thing is to dust yourself off and try again. I know it's easy to say, but I get frustrated too sometimes. You're not alone with that. JC the stomach bug is my biggest fear actually! I asked the doctor about that before I had surgery even. lol. Hopefully the unfill will help and you'll be ok when it comes time to get some fill added back in. So my date tonight went pretty well. He's a bit shy, but overall I thought we had fun and I am interested in him. I think I could have a spark with him. I know, I know - a spark is something I should know off the bat, right? Well tattoo boy and I had fireworks, and that didn't work out so well. lol So guys - I need your input here. This is our second date, and I got a hug goodnight. No attempt for a kiss. Need I be nervous, or could this be one of those ellusive "nice" guys?? lol. He took me out for a very, very nice dinner. We shared a bottle of wine, expensive meals - he easily dropped $100, so I'm assuming he likes me somewhat. lol. When the bill came I asked if I could treat this time and he said no, he asked me out so he pays and that I'll have to ask him out if I'd like to treat. So I'm guessing these are all good signs. It's pretty sad that I'm worried that the kid didn't try and make any moves on me. lol.

Hey everyone! Don't have time to post much, just wanted to pop in and say hi and let you know that I'm alive and well. I got another fill today. I'm at 2.5cc's. I'm nervous, but have been able to keep down fluids no problem. Sherry's overfill has me paranoid. lol. But when the surgeon heard how much I could eat in a sitting and that I would get hungry 2 1/2 hours later, they said I needed a fill. Wish me luck!

I'm not shy about being on Match. It's how people meet nowadays. I even have my parents convinced that it's completely normal, but it took them some time to come around. lol. eyespy glad you found us. :confused: I can tell you that the last time I was asked out in person was over 10 years ago. I was in a relationship for five years (I asked him out if you'll believe, the one and only time I've ever done that) and all the dating I've done after that was through online. I post many pics and write in my profile that I carry extra weight. They're ok with it, or they're not. Their loss if they're not. Well I have my second date tonight with, ummm....I guess we'll call him IT boy. lol. This was the first date I went on last week, even though I TOTALLY did not want to go. We had a fun time, and I left the night finding him handsome even though it didn't start out that way. Funny how that happens, and no it wasn't beer goggles - I just had one glass of wine. lol. Tonight will be a test I suppose, to see if I saw/felt what I really thought I did the first time we went out. I'm looking forward to tonight - except for the eating part. Why do they always want to go out to eat? Ugh! Of course he's taking me to this really nice, fancy restaurant. I probably can't get away with just ordering soup, huh? lol. I think it's too early to spill the beans on my surgery. What do you guys think? I almost want to wait and see if we like each other before I fill him in. Or maybe deep down I feel like it's something that will make me less desirable as a mate. hmmm....do I detect some shame here? ugh. Really though, how do you guys feel about this? When do you/would you tell?

Dr Jones for me. By the way, I'm going in tomorrow for 2pm. If anyone is there, look for me and say hi.

Congrats on your upcoming surgery Quinn!! Glad you found us.

Notice that our list of deal breakers has run off our guys??? lol. Come back, come back! lol

Hi Mel, Have you thought that your calories are too low? I know it sounds weird, but I know this has effected many bandsters. It looks to me like you're certainly having well under 1200 calories a day and if you're exercising along with that, you probably need to add some extra calories. Maybe try a cheese stick (100 cal) in the middle of the afternoon and a piece of fruit before lunch. These will help keep that metabolism going and maybe mixing up your diet will get you moving again. Also, make sure you're not drinking your calories unknowingly (guilty here!) and that you're getting in all your water. If these don't help it could just be a really stubborn plateau. Either way, I feel for you. Hang in there!

OK - let's pick a date and have a get-together!!!!! The weather is nice, let's have a little bbq or something? We can all bring a band-friendly dish. lol. I have every Saturday open except the 16th. Anyone game???

LL I can understand putting off dating until you feel ready. I think there's something to be said for just putting the focus on yourself for now. Good for you! :drum: Denise - I don't blame you for not wanting to deal with a pot head. I don't mind a little partying now and again, but anything that is an every day habit is a no go for me. So I'm with you on the booze/drug habit being a deal breaker. Other deal breakers for me - no job, poor hygene, guys who try to feel me up the first time we kiss (I HATE this!), and just not having their shit together. Guys, I'm curious to hear what your deal breakers are. Care to share???

JC, so sorry to hear about your marriage breaking apart. I can imagine that hasn't been easy for you. Personally, I think the lap band is half physical and half mental. And then losing the weight brings on more mental hurdles as you said. There's no easy answer, but it's good to know we're not alone. Denise I'm so happy you've met someone who is peaking your interest so far! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Kristi - kudos to you for the exercise. That is next on my list to add. I know that I won't lose this next 60 if I don't start moving this butt. And I'd really like to lose it because I'm at the point where I'm feeling good, then I'll look in the mirror and see a big fat moose staring back at me. Then I wonder what the heck did I look like before??? lol. How's your tattoo boy by the way??

Hi JC. I'm glad you posted and WELCOME! We are always looking for some male perspective here. Feel free to share your story if you're comfortable. Oh, and congrats on being so close to goal!! Neveragain I'm so glad you met someone you like! It's funny how that self-confidence just kind of pops up, isn't it? Although for me it still pops away every once in a while, but I am feeling soooo much better than I was 50 pounds ago, so I know what your're talking about. Keep us posted! ibchelle, a bad relationship will definitely make you lose yourself. I've been there, and it took me a while but I have definitely found myself again. The most important thing I've learned over the past couple of years is to truly accept myself the way I am. It does not mean I can't focus on improving things, but I need to be comfortable with myself at whatever point I'm at in life. And the band experience has just enhanced this for me. We all deserve nothing but the best, and we shouldn't allow anything less. When you find yourself again, hold onto her - she's a great girl!