imagine

First – I don’t want this to deter anyone from surgery. Everyone’s experience is different. You have to make the decision for yourself. My battle is in no way an indicator of how you will respond, even if you identify with my experience. Don’t let this post influence you to do it or not do it. No one is a poster child for or against bariatric surgery. Anyone who claims to be is doing a disservice to all who struggle with obesity. I was banded almost 4 years ago and I stuck to the program religiously. In 2003 I started thinking about surgery. It took me 2 years to get the courage to do it and was intent on success. Besides being obese I am also a manic depressive. It comes and goes and I have always aggressively perused treatment. I tend to fall in to periods of depression and have to climb my way back. I usually do. The Lapband worked for me. I went from 307 lbs to 230 lbs in just over a year. I was working on the last 20 lbs when my depression returned in the fall of 2007. I immediately increased my treatment so I could stay on course. Treatment wasn’t working. In December of 2007 I lost my Grandmother to a stroke. I spoke to her in the morning, she was fine. By 10PM that night I was in an E.R. She died the following day. Already in the midst of a depression her death coupled with business problems sent me in to a tailspin resulting in the worst and longest depression of my life. This fall will be 3 years and I have yet to come out of it. I changed my course of treatment in 2009 and have improved some, but still have a long way to go. As a result of all of all of my progress has been erased. I re-gained 68 lbs of the 77 lbs I lost. I am back at 300 lbs again, a number that invokes pure horror for me. I am still severely depressed but hopeful my improvement will continue. Logging in to this site is a step for me. I’ve started to consider going back to investigate getting an adjustment. I don’t know if that even is possible after so long. I know that the band doesn’t retain all of the fluid over time, but I was almost maxed at my last fill. I’m not ready to do it yet; any adjustment would be in vain right now. I need to get to a place where I can follow the program. I have also started thinking about a second surgery for a gastric bypass. Apparently this is becoming more common with people who have had not had success with banding. I haven’t made that decision and won’t really consider it until my depression improves dramatically. Bypass is much more dangerous and doing it now would be useless. Either way I am terrified that this will be an ongoing cycle. I have little control of the onset of depression or its severity. I just have to recognize it and fight, but losing a bunch of weight only to gain it back when my brain gets chemically out of whack is a horrible thought. Losing 77 lbs might have been the hardest thing I have ever done. The prospect of doing it over and over is horrifying and does little to motivate me to start again. What’s worse is the new weight came back differently. My waist is bigger than last time I was this heavy. My reflection appalls me. All of that time and effort only to be back where I started, it was so hard to get to a place where I could do it. I don’t even know where that place is now or how to get back there.

Has anyone experianced any dizzyness or light headed feelings? Last saturday I felt both. At times I felt like I could pass out. The feeling was sort of like the rush you can get when you stand up quickly. It feels like my blood pressure was low.

Does anyone else have this problem? When I slouch over, putting pressure on my stomach I eventually start feeling discomfort. Granted I should be sitting up straight but sometimes when working on the computer I tend to slouch. I am trying to remind myself to sit up straight, but right now I am in a seminar and it gets tough to sit up all day long. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> <o:p> </o:p> Is this normal?<o:p></o:p>

Hi all, I had my 1st fill on Monday and it went fine. Today I noticed that I had some pain/tenderness around my port. Is this normal? I am not too worried because the pain is nowhere near bad, I just wanted to check to see if it was something I should have checked out.

I am trying really hard to break my old ways, but sometimes I just want to munch. Is Light Popcorn ok? Also - What do you guys eat at the movies (if anything)? My old Milk Duds aint gonna get it done for me anymore!

I have a question about cheese. I am in the Mushy phase right now and I am not sure if I can eat melted cheese. Has anyone had any experiance with this? Thanks

Honestly the hardest part is making the first call to the Doctor's office. Everything else is just tasks. Get this test, get that test. Show up at this place at this time. This was my first surgery ever (I was banded July 18th). I would do it again in a heartbeat.

In 4th grade my school had swimming classes. The entire class would get bussed to the high school to swim. As a fat kid I always hated these days. Taking your shirt off in front of the people who tourture you on a daily basis is just fuel for the fire. One day, I somehow forgot about swimming and didn't bring my bathing suit. The teacher made me wear one of the high school swim team suits. It was a Speedo. If you want to know how to scar a fat kid, make him wear a Speedo in front of the entire 4th grade. For the rest of my life I have not taken my shirt off at a pool, beach or hot tub.

Hi All, I am going in to my 2nd week and the liquid diet is getting old quick. I just have to get through 6 more days of this then I can move on to mushies. I have to tell you I am dreaming of apple sauce and scrambled eggs. I can honestly say that I am sick of being on a liquid diet, but it will be worth it in the long run. Right?

This came on last night around 7pm, I think I drank too much. Now the feeling won't go away

I was banded 4 days ago and am in the liquid stage right now. Last night I think I drank too much and began to feel full and uncomfortable. The problem is that the feeling has not gone away yet. 21 hours later I still feel very full. I have not drank much today because I don't want the feeling to continue. Any ideas?

I was banded 4 days ago and am in the liquid stage right now. Last night I think I drank too much and began to feel full and uncomfortable. The problem is that the feeling has not gone away yet. 21 hours later I still feel very full. I have not drank much today because I don't want the feeling to continue. Any ideas?

I am not saying that sleep apnea is not dangerous. I am saying that the CPAP is not something to be concerned about. It is a great machine that most people love once they adjust to it. Also, often the apnea goes away once the weight is lost. Getting diagnosed is a great thing and usually lead to a much better life.

This is not something you should worry too much about, in fact I was sort of hoping that I would have it so I would get approved a bit easier. When the weight goes down, it should go away. Granted chicks don't dig it, but it is easy to hide on date nights!

I have it and I would guess most of us do. Yes the machine is a pain in the ass, but the upside is you actually get a great nights sleep with it. In fact I went in today to get a new kind of mask, I can't wait to try it out tonight. Sleep Apnea is a co-morbidity for obesity, in the long run it should help you get approved. Another good benifit of the CPAP is the humidifier attachment. No more dried out feeling in the morning. Call your surgeon and see if their office can make and headway with the sleep center. My surgeon was able to get me bumped up for an appointment so I could get my machine dialed in before my surgery (which is tomorrow by the way)