maestrita

I think it really is just your age. It is fairly common for women not to enjoy sex physically or have drive until they are older. It will likely get better in a couple of years. I don't know about obesity being a factor because I was HOT when I was your age, and I really wasn't all that into it either. I mean, the intimacy was the big part of it for me. The physical stuff just happens a little later for us. I didn't really have much mojo until I was about 27, or so.

I don't think you should give up. I do know, however, that some folks have had to wait up to 6 months and jump through all manner of hoops in order to get insurance to pay. I am scheduled for self pay, but I have still appealed. If they approve before I go in, I will let them pay for it. If not, I will put it on a credit card. In my case, the insurance company would not accept an appeal from the doctor. I had to write the appeal. I can include a statement from my doctor, but only once the appeal process advances another two steps to the in-person appeal. I do agree that you might consider looking for another doctor, though. You will need to use this office for the aftercare for years to come. If she is difficult, you might be somewhat "married" to a difficult person for a long time. It is harder to find a doc who will care for you if another doc did your surgery. Hang in there. This is tough. If you do choose another doc, I'd write a letter to the one you're leaving and tell him why. I hate to think of a good doc being taken out of the rotation just because he has poor help up front. He might not even know...

You are cracking me up Avanderhoof! Yeah, my husband wasn't at all concerned about anything else. His cousin was banded, and he saw that everything went well. He said it was fine with him if I was hot again. He was kind of joking about the implants, but I know in the back of his mind, he's worried that I won't be hot if I lose my boobs. I have to say, since it's been just about the only physical feature I was ever super proud of, there is a small worry in the back of my mind, too. It's not enough to deter me, though. I have health issues that MUST be resolved through weight loss and soon.

Oh, yeah. I totally agree about the NEVER thing. It's not healthy emotionally, and it's not realistic. I don't think of obesity as being a character flaw. Here's my .02 on the American diet. I think that we are asked to deal with a problem that is multidimensional and is far too complex to be blamed on an individual. If it weren't, all of those attempts at weight loss that we tried before would have worked. For example, the introduction of food sources to groups who have developed different genetic patterns is one factor. Some of us are genetically wired to eat deer meat and acorn mush--not McD's. I think having lived through/being raised by folks who lived through the Great Depression is another factor. This generation quite literally watched their countrymen starve to death, and responsibly taught us to not "waste" food. I think the "bigger is better" notion of our culture contributed greatly to the increased portion sizes. The fast food industry is documented to have had significant impact on the increase in portion sizes, starting with that one restaurant that begins with a W, and through competition spreading to the others. The trend rippled through our lives until even in the school cafeteria, we were taught to over eat. No wonder we don't feel full. We were taught not to. Another issue, despite the claims of the recent advertising campaign they've launched, is the use of corn syrup. It's true that it is no different than sugar, nutritionally. The problem is that it was added to EVERYTHING, and since it didn't just say SUGAR on the label, people were unaware for a long time that their salad dressing had added sugar. I can go on, and likely some will hope that I don't. My point in all of this is that we don't have to blame ourselves for this. It's bigger than we are. I hope any of you who happen across this thread is able to put the guilt down and leave it. Another aspect of our culture is that we value independence. The downside of that is that we are sometimes tricked into taking personal responsibility for a problem that, as in this case, is system wide. Here's to finally having a little help in beating that system! I can't wait until March 10!

I think you and I just have different personalities, or maybe it's my sense of humor that doesn't come across. I don't have any guilt whatsoever. I also don't intend to engage in eating habits that I've usually avoided once I have the band. I plan on making an even stronger effort to only eat foods that will make me stronger once I am banded. Mostly, that has been my pattern all along, but I have eaten way too much. For example, I haven't eaten "real" mayo in years. I drink non-fat milk, use spray butter, etc. Likely, I've been in denial about portion sizes and just kind of felt sorry for myself that I've (IMHO) made good food choices and worked out hard (I made qualifying time on a two mile run just a couple of years back), but am still struggling with being overweight. About the Last Supper thing...It's just kind of funny to me that once I realized that this was a done deal, I decided on one last hurrah.

Thanks you guys. I'm really not blue. I am kind of laughing about it, actually. I have not really allowed myself to eat stuff like "real" candy or those forbidden foods for many, many years. My weight gain has related to overeating, but it has usually been healthier foods. Not that it makes a difference, though. My BMI is around 36, and I have the disabling health problems nonetheless. I guess I feel like I have struggled with the urges, fighting them daily for so long. Now that things are going to change, maybe I can just relax for a minute and have that Milky Way bar. I think dinner tonight will be a Malibu and Coke, some uncooked bread, some popcorn, and a grilled chicken salad. I will enjoy these on your behalf, and when I'm on the flip-side, I'll feel like I've said my last goodbyes properly.:thumbdown:

Of all the things out there...seriously?? cheese?? I guess we all have our weaknesses, but....cheese?? I'm teasing, but I feel your pain, though. It's a big decision, and it's scary. You know what gives me hope, though, is that so many people can look you straight in the eye and say they'd do it again in a heartbeat. I think I've come to the right conclusion.

My husband is supportive, but he wants to know how we are going to pay for the breast implants if it should happen that my girls go away. I have to admit, I am a little concerned about that part, too.

I know this is going to sound silly, but I am going through a Mardi Gras type of phase where I feel like I really need to eat anything and everything I might miss after I am banded next month. What do you miss the most? What do you wish you had gotten one last bite of that you can't really have now?

I am not banded yet, but I will be soon. I have lost hair during two other weight loss attempts, when taking birth control, and after the births of both of my children, so I also worry about what will happen after the band. I have very thick hair, so most folks never knew. Then again, I never even got close to losing so much I'd need a wig and mine never came out in clumps. It was stand by strand, falling in the sink when I blew my hair dry, extra stuff in the drain trap, and on the floor of the bathroom. Every other day or so, a fallen piece would droop down in my face or tickle my neck, and I would just lift it off and throw it away. Though nobody really noticed, I knew, and that was hard. It was more weird than anything else. It just felt wrong... like my body was trying to tell me something was not OK. It nagged at me in the back of my mind like I was wrong to try to lose weight or maybe I was sick somehow. Perhaps with proper supplementation and the support of a nutritionist, I won't have that symptom this time...dunno. I kind of know some tricks to deal with it, though. Short hair, layered hair, or curly hair looks fuller and healthier. I used root booster always, and did not use any shine products or conditioners that weighted my hair down. With oilier/heavier products, it looks thinner. At it's worst, I found a product that was like a perm that doesn't give you curls (you don't use rods at all). I don't know what it was called, but it did give me lift.

That's too funny!

Wow, thanks Tiff and Cubsgirl! That sounds very reasonable. Yeah, the plane ticket to Denver just went up to 300.00. It doesn't sound like would be a realistic option for me if I am going to need to keep going in. It's so great to network, isn't it?

Bam, I don't follow you. It's not the calories I think folks are worried about. Well, at least that's not the issue for me. I am concerned about living the best life I can, and I think if I'm going to fill my belly with something, it should be something that makes me stronger. My focus is, as Restless puts it, what I put in, not what I am going to deny myself. I do love coffee, but I know I need to drink Water and milk instead. I don't anticipate having room to drink all of those things and still achieve adequate nutrition. I think if a person can, and their doc doesn't care, and they don't have trouble with acid...what the hey? go for it.

Lisa, I would love that contact information. Otherwise, I will be flying to Denver for fills:thumbdown:

I agree with Restless, don't mess around with the ticker. If you have any history/family history of HBP, heart disease, you get in there right away. If it's your stomach, well, you'll get to feel sheepish in front of the ER staff. If it's your heart, you'll be damn glad you went. Keep aspirin on hand, too.

coffee is also high in tanic acid which is very hard on the stomach. Black tea has more tannin than coffee, and Yerba Mate has an extraordinary amount. It is more acid than your stomach acid which is important to keep in mind if you are concerned about erosion, GERD, or ulcerations. It's true the caffeine does dehydrate, but I think you'd have to consume quite a bit to suffer that sort of effect. Moreover, coffee, like soda is an empty food source offering very little nutritionally...well, I guess you get the benefit of a tiny amount of antioxidants and phytoestrogen from coffee. Perhaps it's not quite as horrible as soda, but it's close. It's too bad, really. I do love coffee so very much.

I am also self-pay, and I do not need to go on a six month. I do have to go on a low-carb 10 days before surgery to shrink the size of my liver. Hope this helps.

Jeez. the gas bubble...Have you tried the "down dog" position--yoga....? I had terrible gas pain during pregnancy, even to the point where I understood how people could make the mistake that they were having a heart attack when they just have gas. The ONLY thing that worked was down dog alternating with the child's pose. None of the meds did a thing for me at that time. Hope you're better soon.

OK, I am flying out for my surgery. What do I NEED to bring with me? What will I need to have at home when I return. I will be flying back the evening after the procedure, and I will not be returning to work until the following Monday. Help me figure out what to bring on the plane, and what to have at home when I get back. Oooooh, I am so excited....one short month away!:thumbup:

March 10, for me! How about Mini-Marchers?

My mother is the same way! I don't know what her problem is, but I told her that she did not need to come with me on the surgery date because I could only have one visitor, and my husband wanted to be there. It was a total lie, but I just can't deal with her negativity. Thank goodness I am going out of town for the procedure! She would be so hurt if she knew my mother-in-law is going to fly in for the procedure, but I just can't deal with her. I hate to say this, but I think she is jealous in some way. I know, I know. It's a horrible thing to think about your mother, but I don't know what else might be causing her to be so nasty. I know what concern looks like with my mother, and this is not it. It is pure negativity. Yikes. I hope you get your situation figured out.:thumbup:

Amy, I would tell her what you just told us. Tell her you understand that she wants to get to know you but that you don't always get to see the same doctor. Tell her that you'd like to get moving with your healthier future and ask her what she would recommend that you could do to help her to feel more comfortable about making that referral. Perhaps you could attend some nutrition classes and send her proof that you attended? Perhaps she might like to see a written list of previous weight loss attempts you've made? Perhaps you could do the psychological evaluation before the referral. Maybe a written statement about why you want the surgery and what will change in your life. I'd show her that I meant business if I were you. I'd be pleasantly persistent until she knew me enough to send that referral over.:thumbup: Buena Suerte

There are a couple of reasons it's not a good idea. The amount of tanic acid in black tea is enough to cause me days worth of heartburn trouble. It is more acidic than stomach acid, and it is corrosive. We need to be especially aware of that. coffee has tannin, too, but not quite as much. Yerba Mate is through the roof with tannin. Seriously, I don't know how folks keep it down! This result has nothing to do with caffeine, though. Both tea and coffee, iced or hot, also are very diuretic agents, and that does have something to do with caffeine. I know, I know. It is killing me. I don't know how I am going to do it!

You guys are awesome. Thanks for getting back to me and letting me know how it went. I have heard good things about Dr. K. I was planning to fly out the next morning. Maybe I will plan for one more day....I hate to leave my kids for that long, but I don't want to push my luck, either. When are you going mnfarmgal? I am going on March 11.

Hello All, I am new to this site. I will be having my band done on March 11 in order to address my sleep apnea and pain from spinal arthritis. My BMI is 36.5, and I wonder if the weight loss will be significant enough to help with some of my problems and to prevent other problems. Is there anyone here who started off below 40 who had similar goals? I will be flying from Washington State to Denver to have the procedure done because I am self-pay. I am wondering if anyone here has had his/her surgery done by Dr. Kirschenbaum. I have read several good things about him so far, and I am pleased with the process and his people up until now. I am apprehensive about the band, though solid on my decision. I have a lot of stomach acid, and I worry that it might get worse. I've read that it gets better, but I don't see how it can.... I also worry a bit about flying so soon after having it done, though it's a short flight. If you've traveled to have the band done, maybe you might share your experience with me. Thanks