Possum220

Oh yeah. I'm 3.5 years out and the honeymoon has long been over. If I weren't extremely careful about what I eat, it would be terrifyingly easy to fall off the wagon and jump on the regain train. The surgery still helps, for sure; even when I eat too much, I think back to how much I would have eaten before the surgery and realize that my overindulgence now pales in comparison. But it still takes a lot of effort and attention to maintain my weight.
My first recommendation for you is to get back on the scale and see exactly where you stand. No matter how much you've regained, stepping on the scale isn't going to change it. Believe me, I understand not wanting to know (take it from someone who did not own a scale for over a decade before my surgery), but staying in denial will only make things worse.
I found a fantastic podcast called "We Only Look Thin," hosted by a husband and wife who each lost over 100 pounds. They did NOT have WLS, but they have so much insight and advice. They address a lot of the things that you worry about, so if you are open to listening to podcasts, I highly recommend this one.

I know how easy it is to avoid the scale when you know it's going to be bad news. I do it too. But I'm going to urge you to make yourself face it. If you face it, you can beat it. I think the good news is, no matter how much you've eaten, there is no way you could regain 130+ pounds in a month. Maybe you've gained 5lbs. Maybe 10. But you know what? You've still lost over 100lbs. So, go get on the scale, acknowledge the number, and then look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself, "Self, I love you, and you're f*ing awesome. You're doing a great job, and I know you're going to keep doing it."
No negative talk, no guilt. After that, look into getting a therapist to help you with the emotional crap that's making this hard for you, because food addiction is real, and you deserve for it to be easier. The biggest thing I've learned about shame and guilt over the years is the way I talk to myself sometimes, I would punch someone in the face if they ever said those things to someone I love. Try to treat yourself the way you would treat the person you love the most.

Sorry you are going through this. At this point it is mind over matter. If you are struggling it might be worth looking into a therapist. 10 day pouch reset - day 1 Clear Liquids, day 2-3 full liquids, day 4-6 puree, day 7-9 soft foods, day 10 small healthy meals, continuing forward.

Nine years out, and I fight the beast every day. I know people who've worked with therapists who specialize in eating disorders who've found it helpful, so maybe looking into that if you're feeling like you're losing the struggle (?). Or does your bariatric clinic have a health psychologist on staff, or can they refer you to one?
P.S. I also know a few people who are struggling and have had some significant weight gain who are on appetite suppressants like phentermine - or some of the newer drugs that people are using for weight loss, such as Ozempic. I don't know if you want to go down that route, but some have had success with those. If you're interested in that, check with either your bariatric clinic or your regular physician.

I had heard about the honeymoon period at the start of it all. Didnt really think much about it at the time. But this has smacked me hard.The honey moon period is well and truly over. Reality is kicking back in. I had the RNY back in May 22. Since then I have lost 60 kg or 132 pounds. I had Covid for Christmas. I have managed depression and anxiety for decades now. In the last month my anxiety and depression have flared up something chronic and I am stuffing food into me as if I had never had the bypass.
I am loathe to weigh myself and I can feel my body change again. Food addiction is real and I am terrified that I am going to regain all the weight I had lost. I dont want to be trapped in my own body again. I want my muscles to be strong. I dont want the panic attacks to dominate me again. Right now I feel distended and hopeless.
Has anybody else tackled this point. I dont want to be overtaken by a Tsunami of food and shame and guilt. Who eats food off the floor? Who eats food out of a bin? I want the control back. Is it too late now that the honeymoon is over. Has anybody else tackled this time and won? Anybody? Anywhere?

I had heard about the honeymoon period at the start of it all. Didnt really think much about it at the time. But this has smacked me hard.The honey moon period is well and truly over. Reality is kicking back in. I had the RNY back in May 22. Since then I have lost 60 kg or 132 pounds. I had Covid for Christmas. I have managed depression and anxiety for decades now. In the last month my anxiety and depression have flared up something chronic and I am stuffing food into me as if I had never had the bypass.
I am loathe to weigh myself and I can feel my body change again. Food addiction is real and I am terrified that I am going to regain all the weight I had lost. I dont want to be trapped in my own body again. I want my muscles to be strong. I dont want the panic attacks to dominate me again. Right now I feel distended and hopeless.
Has anybody else tackled this point. I dont want to be overtaken by a Tsunami of food and shame and guilt. Who eats food off the floor? Who eats food out of a bin? I want the control back. Is it too late now that the honeymoon is over. Has anybody else tackled this time and won? Anybody? Anywhere?

I had heard about the honeymoon period at the start of it all. Didnt really think much about it at the time. But this has smacked me hard.The honey moon period is well and truly over. Reality is kicking back in. I had the RNY back in May 22. Since then I have lost 60 kg or 132 pounds. I had Covid for Christmas. I have managed depression and anxiety for decades now. In the last month my anxiety and depression have flared up something chronic and I am stuffing food into me as if I had never had the bypass.
I am loathe to weigh myself and I can feel my body change again. Food addiction is real and I am terrified that I am going to regain all the weight I had lost. I dont want to be trapped in my own body again. I want my muscles to be strong. I dont want the panic attacks to dominate me again. Right now I feel distended and hopeless.
Has anybody else tackled this point. I dont want to be overtaken by a Tsunami of food and shame and guilt. Who eats food off the floor? Who eats food out of a bin? I want the control back. Is it too late now that the honeymoon is over. Has anybody else tackled this time and won? Anybody? Anywhere?

I wish I could hug you. I have no answers, I just want you to know that I am here.

Eat what you enjoy the taste of. That goes for all food not just cheese. I eat cottage cheese because I like it. I eat tasty cheddars because they have a little kick. No point in eating anything that you cant taste. I have shaved parmesan.
Our food is restricted. Enjoy the things you can eat.

Eat what you enjoy the taste of. That goes for all food not just cheese. I eat cottage cheese because I like it. I eat tasty cheddars because they have a little kick. No point in eating anything that you cant taste. I have shaved parmesan.
Our food is restricted. Enjoy the things you can eat.

Eat what you enjoy the taste of. That goes for all food not just cheese. I eat cottage cheese because I like it. I eat tasty cheddars because they have a little kick. No point in eating anything that you cant taste. I have shaved parmesan.
Our food is restricted. Enjoy the things you can eat.

Hello All-
i posted for the first time just about three years ago with some anxieties as a spouse with my wife prepping to undergo the gastric sleeve. I originally noted being concerned about our lifestyle changes, relationship impacts (I had heard all the horror stories) and most of all health concerns into the future.
The community was incredibly supportive and I had learned tips and useful knowledge that helped me coach and support my wife through it. I am happy to say we are better than we ever have been and her self confidence is through the roof. However the MAIN reason the surgery ever was even considered was to get her diabetes that started while she was pregnant with our first child and got very concerning bad with our fourth has still stuck around and caused issues…..
First- this is Life changing not just for the partner getting the surgery, but the spouse too. We used to be foodies and that all had to go out the door. Same with alcohol. Two bites and you are full, a pint and you are drunk. So activities, dates, etc. and new hobbies should all be prepared for well in advance. Luckily we are both athletes and coaches and this allowed to have an outlet that wasn’t our prior foodies and beer/ brewery culture pastime.
Two- Relationship, anyone who tells you that this leads to automatic divorce/ break up is paranoid or lying. Out of her support group offered by our health network, I think only 1 or 2 of about fifteen women ended up separating and that was from the other spouse cheating. I have to say that in many ways, after four kids and all our activities, youth sports and coaching- it created a second honeymoon period for us and really strengthened our romance and relationship because we both focused on our health again jointly and the magnetism increased dramatically.
Third- It might not fix the problem…. We did not jointly go into the surgery for cosmetic or weight loss reasons. It was the diabetes and the doctors said it was a solid shot to cure or mitigate the disease. It was for a while, but it keeps back up. despite healthy eating, despite exercise and coaching, despite the surgery- medications came back into the picture and so did the celebrity weight loss drug (which is really supposed to be for diabetes…) This has been keeping everything under control but is a case of the cure being as bad as the sickness. The side effects are brutal and definitely have a quality of life impact, but we both want to live to see grandkids someday…..
Fourth- dysmorphia is VERY really. We are both naturally larger people. I was a lineman in high school and college and she was a softball catcher in high school and college and ended up also playing women’s rugby there as well. Even with the surgery she went from an XL to L but she got her college/ high school figure back and as such her confidence went through the roof and started dressing like she hadn’t in years. With the medication though??? Her figure, face shape, everything changed. Down to a Small or Medium. For almost a year and a half she hasn’t recognized herself in the mirror. It’s a double wham with the surgery and the medication.
Between her best friends and myself (we have all been in the same friend/ team group since college) the support was to have fun with it and go with the flow. Instead of worrying about it (the dysmorphia) it was embrace the change. All new clothes she could never wear before, she’s been a redhead now and then blonde and still is. Cut her hair shorter, started wearing makeup (never really did)- all just to try and put a positive spin on it. I’ve been the spoiled recipient of having a brand new girl (don’t think I haven’t romanced and spoiled the you-know-what out of her), but at the end of the day it’s been mitigation of all the life changes.
The last part has been the most detailed because it’s the most recent and to me has been the most impactful- NOT having the surgery do its intended purpose and the dysmorphia we’re both very difficult given the efforts and life changes made. We’ve done everything we can to make lemonade out of those lemons though. We had an anniversary vacation better than our honeymoon this past summer (she has always been way out of my league and these days it’s very much over the top- I feel incredibly spoiled) and we have made time to ride our bikes together with our oldest babysitting the kids and we come to each others games when we coach.
I would tell any spouse; husband or wife of someone who is going to have the surgery and then or also do all the meds:
1. Support. It’s a huge deal and you need to show up.
2. Don’t get insecure about your relationship because of the surgery. If you are worried it means you might not have a great relationship to start with….
3. You will need to change your life too. Because of my size and my weight lifting, I need a lot of Protein and calories. I will never look like a Hollywood star (like she now does) and always an NFL lineman- BUT- if I bring a cannoli, pie or a full growler into the house in addition to steak/ salmon, etc it’s teasing and not fair. You will need to learn self control to support your spouse…
4. Inspire and come up with ideas for positive re-enforcement. If the dysmorphia or depression sets in, you need to find fun things to do, supportive steps to take and positive angles to keep things going.
5. If you are doing all this as a spouse, what about YOU??? Are you going to die a martyr? Take care of YOURSELF too. I go lifting 3 times a week, go fishing in season. And for my 40th birthday when she asked what I wanted?? I got us a long weekend on the Cape, bought her some dresses I wanted to see her in and sent her to get her hair, nails, toes, eyelashes, etc.. done. Said I wanted a long weekend with my movie star wife. It was a great time, kid free and continued to strengthen our marriage.
Anyways- why am I writing this? Posterity? Self reflection? Not really…. I just want to give Spouses a roadmap. It’s a huge change and you need to navigate the waters well. If you do you will benefit as much as your loved one.
Good luck.

Need help, I gained almost all the weight after 5 years.

The term nurse infers care. The nurse is not a nurse she is a bully.
This is beyond disgusting behaviour. I googled the new surgeon and they do check out. But his current support team should also be sacked. Support being the operative word. There is no support and they are gaslighting you for their own sad performance. Even if they are able to find you another date I would hate to think what follow up care you would be provided with. Please Please put this down to experience now and find a better provider/team. You deserve so much better. Saying that you would not comply to do the necessary things post op is a sickening joke.
Run do not walk to another team that can support you. You need to be looked after not treated with disdain and blame for this very serious and life changing surgery. Maybe your general doctor can suggest another provider? This team need to be reported for their lack of professionalism.
Dry those tears hunny bun. You are loved. 🤗💖

I think you need to go back to your team. You need advice on real foods. You should not need Protein supplements this far out.
I had 6 meals a day at 1 year out too.
Breakfast - 100 grams Greek yogurt with fruit - 10 grams protein
snack - 25 grams nuts - 5 grams protein
lunch - 100 grams prawns and small salad salad - 16 grams protein
Snack - 25 grams Biltong - 13 grams protein
Evening meal - tuna - 50 grams with mayo and on a slice of super seeded bread - 17 grams protein
snack - Glass of milk or protein pudding
I hope this helps a little, I could get in 60 - 80 grams of protein a day eat similar foods to this

Not done by a long way. The loss may have slowed but it will continue to happen with you doing what you are already doing. You got this.

Thanks for the comments, stories and words of encouragement. As far as age goes, I'm only sorry I didn't do it much sooner (younger), but better late than never. I think for myself, there has always been this "fear" or mindset that surgery is/was the last option and if I had done it 10 years earlier and things didn't go well, I'd have to live the rest of my life dealing with the regret, frustration and failure. After the fact, I feel I have total control and have learned the life skills required to maintain this "new me" until I don't exist anymore.
And as far as people-pleasing, I still aim to please, but I'm starting with myself!😜

Hi Robert.
I have never heard the phrase "They operated on your stomach, not your brain" But it is oh so true. So much work yet to do on ourselves. Thank you for sharing this.
It has taken quite a few months to build up my stamina and muscles to be able to go on a decent walk. I have been asked to join a couple of walking groups though I just love the freedom of being able to walk where I want and when I want and for how short or long I want. Company would be nice sometimes but it's easy to be lost in your own thoughts or have some ear worm in your brain chanting along to the beat of my feet. Not selfish just mindful.

You are right it is a long term thing. For a little perspective - You will be eating something for the rest of your life. The choice is do you eat something that will nourish your own body or eat empty calories that do nothing for nobody and make your body be sick and have to struggle through life? You got this. Pick yourself up and rejoice in life. Start a new hobby or make a new friend. Do something that you enjoy that doesnt involve copious amounts of food.
Having the sleeve is just another stepping stone. It will provide you with more skills and more control with food. It will be worthwhile.
Health is a long term goal. You wont see changes every single day but they will happen if you take care of the body that helps you get around in this world. The days turn into months and the months turn into years. If your are trying to heal your emotions with food you will fail every time. Decide. You really can do this.
A year on from having the bypass - I can go for walks. I sleep much better. I can buy clothes in a normal store. I am more confident and I now more active in community groups. I have made new friends. I can take care of myself and not need to rely on others. I feel so much better in my own skin.
You really do want to give yourself the gift of life. You got this.

That is my reality if I don’t go through with surgery. Doctors are saying without it I probably won’t see 40. My mom died of multi system organ failure due to co morbid conditions and severe obesity at 50 and it was such a devastating thing to witness. I don’t want that to be my reality. But if I don’t get the weight off, it will be and I’ve tried for years without surgery and been unsuccessful (I’ve been obese since I was a young child).

i experience all of those things. Just changing clothes makes me out of breath. Forget stairs or walking more than a few feet at a time. I’m existing.

Having weight loss surgery is a big deal and not to be entered into lightly. Most people have to get to a point when this is the last resort. You know a light bulb moment. From what you have mentioned this has been it for you. Sounds like if you dont deal with this then this will deal with you.
It is not a magic bullet that will solve everything you will still have issues but they will hopefully be easier to manage. I have arthritis in my lower back and ankles. They no longer give me pain. I have diabetes but now I dont need to take insulin or any other medication to deal with blood sugar levels though I still check my blood sugar levels. I am not on any blood pressure tablets any more.
I dont break out in a sweat after having a shower. I can look after myself more easily and dont having a coronary while cleaning the house. It really is a huge struggle with a BMI of 51. I can go for a walk and enjoy it. Life is hard enough without the extra weight.
Be kind to yourself and your body. You can do this.

The last pounds are the hardest to lose. A real b*tch. But could you be experiencing a stall. I recall you were prone to them with your sleeve. Also don’t forget your new set point. Could this be the weight your body is happiest at?? How long has it been since you lost anything?
For those who are interested, Dr Matt Weiner posted a video about set point (metabolic thermostat) a couple of days ago. Others, like Dr John Pilcher, will likely have good videos too.

(Also my status update, btw)
It's finally here!! My last day with a "normal" digestive system. Tomorrow morning I go in at 10:15am to check in, go through all the pre-flight checks (IV, vitals, sign consents, talk to anesthesia and my surgeon, etc), then into the OR I go!
This process has taken what seems like forever. Way back in April of 2022, I saw a general surgeon to have a Nissen Fundoplication to deal with my (horrible!!) reflux and repair my hiatal hernia. Problem was....my weight made it so there would be a high risk of both failure after a couple years and potential complications. He then suggested I see a bariatric surgeon (which was the first time anyone had ever made that suggestion.
So off I went to see bariatrics. From the first appointment, Dr. Beekley was nothing but supportive. He never once belittled me over my weight, or made me feel like I was making excuses for my health. The entire team has been awesome. They keep up with me in myChart, letting me know what Pre-op clearances I needed, or if anything extra was needed from other providers (which, given all my health issues, there was always something extra that was needed lol).
But all that hoop jumping was worth it. Now I'm packing my bag and getting ready to have my life completely changed for the better. While I may be increasingly nervous the closer I get to that OR, I'm also excited beyond belief. I've been stuck in this messed up body for entirely too long, and I can't wait to start leaving it behind and meet the woman I know is inside.

Thank you everyone! The coolest part about the whole experience, despite being tired and hurting, I felt so thankful and fortunate to be there Three years ago I would have scoffed at the idea of doing something like this or made a self deprecating joke to hide the fact that I thought it never would have been possible.

So very well done. Brilliant effort. It really takes determination to have made it to where you are. I love it when you said that we are going to tip toe back into the old life. This is so true for me. Old habits and poor choices snuck back in but got myself back on track this week and got some good results.
Yes. We fight the good fight. 💚