JaysWife

I know I'm late, but I just wanted to add... You are worth standing up for!!! You are worth your time and the time of others! Most of all you deserve respect! It's obvious that you have a big heart to allow them to be in your home when they are in need, that ALONE means they should be following your requests and then some! I hope you have kicked your ex completely to the curb and that you have been able to get back on track. It is so hard for a lot of us who have struggled with weight to not feel like we are deserving of good things, for me it is anyhow, but someone as kind as you deserves only the best things in life!!!!

I know I'm late, but I just wanted to add... You are worth standing up for!!! You are worth your time and the time of others! Most of all you deserve respect! It's obvious that you have a big heart to allow them to be in your home when they are in need, that ALONE means they should be following your requests and then some! I hope you have kicked your ex completely to the curb and that you have been able to get back on track. It is so hard for a lot of us who have struggled with weight to not feel like we are deserving of good things, for me it is anyhow, but someone as kind as you deserves only the best things in life!!!!

First…. I 100% support YOUR decision to tell people about your surgery or not. I am in no way saying you should or should not….
I recently went on a trip and on this trip I had to show my old ID a few times. When I applied to TSA PreCheck I got a triple take when they looked at my passport photo vs the new me… so I explained… then on the trip I just decided to preemptively say “yeah I’ve lost a lot of weight since then” when they looked at my ID. Twice I had the person (quietly) ask “mind if I ask how? It’s none of my business I’m just wondering.” Both times I told them the truth, both times they said they’ve been thinking about it. Both times they smiled when I told them how stupidly amazing I feel and how I wish I had done this sooner. Both times we held up the line entirely too long while they and I both opened up about our weight issues and weight wishes. They were great moments and they wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them.
My wife does not want me to share my story with her side of the family and I’ve respected her wishes in that regard. I don’t personally care if they know but she has her reasons and that’s good enough for me. I totally understand that someone you know and will see repeatedly is an entirely different story….
But a stranger I’ll never see again? Someone who is like I was and clearly is looking for help? I’ll never lie to them. They deserve to know that traditional diets are damn hard if not impossible for most of us. I feel like it would make them feel worse about their own diet failures and their self esteem if I lied about how I did what I did. I’ll share my story with anyone going forward with joy, because I’m so happy about it and I want them to feel this way too. I gave both of those people info on this forum and my username. If you’re here reading this now, welcome. I’m glad you made the effort. Please don’t feel the need to introduce yourself just yet. Read, absorb, self reflect. But welcome nonetheless. I’m happy that you’re here.

He not only doesn't care about your health, but he also has zero respect for your home and your boundaries. If that's how he treats you when you offer help, he's done this to himself. Not bring home junk food and not smoking in exchange for a roof is hardly a big ask. He made his choice.

I would have been knocking on my surgeon's door long before now.
Everyone needs to learn not to be shy about reporting issues to your surgeon and keep banging on them until there are action items in place to deal with whatever the issue is. If the action items don't resolve the issue then keep banging.
The squeaky wheel get the grease. The screeching wheel gets whatever it needs.
Good luck,
Tek

I trusted a fart (nine days post-VSG) this morning and it did not go well. TRUST NO FARTS.

So, I refuse to say that I will never have treats again. I’m just very, very, choosy about when and how much of a treat I’ll have. I’m pretty good about avoiding candy but I’m a big baker. Now when I bake Cookies I’ll give them all away save 1-2 and have no more than 1 cookie a day if I keep 2. I made a tiramisu when I was home at my parents this summer and I cut myself a piece that was maybe 2 inches long by 1 inch wide (about 1/4 of a slice of everyone else’s). My philosophy is that complete restrictions are bad and can actually make things worse, at least for me. I live alone so I don’t have to worry about others bringing treats in the house. But I’ve found some willpower - I have half a bag of Hershey kisses left from when I baked some Peanut Butter kiss cookies for a friend (of which I kept one for myself) - that was probably 2 months ago and I haven’t had a single Hershey kiss since - if I’m going to have a piece of chocolate on its own, it needs to be some good gourmet chocolate. Now I won’t be in the country for Thanksgiving but for Christmas I will definitely have a small dessert - this is not a diet, this is how I plan to live the rest of my life! And I make sure to get my Protein in to help balance anything I have (and I log everything so I know where I am on macros at all times).

Sitting at my home computer this morning typing an email to my sales staff, trying to keep them motivated during these very trying and challenging times, I realized I was giving them the advice I need to hear myself. Its been two years since I started this journey and 506 days since my RNY surgery. I'm down 125 pounds and life is flippin fantastic! I have been losing and gaining the same five pounds for five months but I'm ok with that, having a couple of glasses of red wine in the evening is most likely the cause coupled with a lack of any real exercise program - I am active, just not working out - but my life is filled with happiness right now. Fast forward to this morning and it hit me, I'm motivating others but not myself. Today that changes! I laced up my running shoes and started day one of C25K. Running a 5k without stopping has always been a bucket list item and now I am going to do it!

I actually weighed MORE the first week after surgery than I did before the surgery! They give you A LOT of fluids in your IV to keep you hydrated and this often shows up as pounds gained. But the weight DID start to come off eventually, don't lose heart!

Hello! I know it's really difficult, but try not to worry so much about the fact that the scales aren't moving. You are guaranteed to be in a calorie deficit, so it's scientifically impossible for you not to be losing fat. I know someone who had the surgery and didn't lose any weight in the first 8 weeks, but she's lost absolutely loads of inches from all over her body, her body shape and size has completely changed! You should take measurements, then you can see the progress you're making even if the scales are being stubborn. Energy wise, are you taking all your Vitamins? If you're not taking B12 you'll have really low energy. I find (6 weeks out today) that if I don't take my vitamins I feel absolutely blah, really tired and lethargic. Hope this helps!

Ok so the meds may need to be adjusted, get with your dr. Our bodies absorb medicine differently after the surgery. As for the energy? I had 0 energy for months post op. My nutritionist kept telling me to eat carbs, but my brain was saying “no Skye, carbs bad. Carbs why you are fat”. So I ignored her. It wasn’t until I started consuming carbs finally (healthy carbs of course like fruit) that i finally started getting my energy. I’m not saying to eat carbs because you are only 2 weeks out. Not a good thing for you yet. But what I am saying is that it will get better. Don’t worry. Sometimes it may seem like it’s getting worse before it gets better, but it will get better

I'm 2 weeks post op. I was a wreck the night before. To the point that I wrote my family letters just in case I didn't make it lol. I definitely feel silly about that now but it's completely normal to be nervous! Good luck on your surgery!!!

You’ve just had pretty major & life changing surgery. It’s not unusual to feel upside down & inside out emotionally - anger, sadness, anxiety, etc. and it’s ok if you do.
Low energy & increased lethargy also are not unusual. Your consuming very few calories & your body is trying to heal. I spent a lot of time on my couch that first couple of weeks.
Give yourself some time to heal physically & also mentally & emotionally. It will pass & you’ll feel stronger.

Same thing happened to me…no energy for the first 5 weeks. The first thing they said to me was, move around and get out of bed. Easier said than done but keep positive! It gets better.

Congrats on your surgery.
It’s not uncommon not to feel full in the liquid stage. It’s because nerves were affected during the surgery & they have to heal. More importantly fluids go through your digestive system more quickly & because you should only be sipping, not drinking large quantities at a time, you’re not really even near filling your new smaller tummy before the fluids are emptying.
The purpose of the staged return to solid foods is to protect your tummy after surgery & allow it to heal. You have a lot of stitches &/or staples internally & they need to be able to heal without having undue stress being placed upon them.
And yes, a lot of the not feeling satisfied is in your head. We’ve all been there in one way or another. You’re not alone. There is a difference from feeling full & realising you’ve had enough & stopping before that full feeling kicks in. It takes time for the fullness message to get through (it’s one of the reasons we’re advised to eat slowly) so when you feel full you’ve really had too much. It’s all part of learning to listen to your body & not your mind. Just coming to realise 1/4 cup of food is enough can be challenging. It takes time but you’ll get there.

Ugg. So sorry for your moms BS comment. Not cool. Not ok. You deserve better. You are human and therefore worthy of feeling beautiful and good about yourself at any size. I've long been sick of hearing comments from people that link beauty, worthiness and self-worth to body size.

I thought I was the only one with a dislike of the term pouch. It's just weird to me. Lol

A little background before I get to my real rant lol. My mom and I have a strained (almost non-existent) relationship. We only talk a few times a year. She has always been tall and thin (5'9" 130lbs) I however have always been heavy. I have been fighting with my insurance for the last 7 months to be approved for wls.
A few days ago my mom calls me and asks how everything is going with the surgery. I tell her about the struggle with ins. and that I'm hoping for surgery next month.
Her comment to that is the kicker.
I hope everything works out so you can finally be skinny and pretty and feel good about yourself.
Like WTF?? My self esteem is already in the toilet, but now I've just been reminded that because I'm fat I can't be pretty.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone about wanting wls. The amount of unsolicited advice and criticism that has been more hurtful than anything is crazy. Thank God for this site. I don't feel like such an outsider in here.

I used to get Migraines a week before my period like clockwork - even with BC. Nothing worked over the counter or prescription. I went to a homeopathic guy, and he said that they were caused by a build-up of estrogen in the liver. He recommended B12 because it flushes the liver. I started taking it and the migraines stopped. I highly recommend it.

I am still fighting with them. They have "misplaced" or "not received" the documents they need 3 times now. They FINALLY have them scanned into their system as of 3/10 but I was told it can take them another 30 days to process them. And that's just for the predetermination. I still have to go through the pre-certification process yet. My surgery has been pushed out 3 times now. I have a new tentative date of 4/7 but I'm not holding my breath for that to be the actual surgery date. It's been a nightmare in all honesty. The back and forth between insurance and the surgeons office, the uncertainty of whether I'm actually going to be approved or not, and the rescheduling of things over and over again. There have been many times through it all where I have very seriously thought about just saying eff it all and giving up. But I know this is kind of like my last hope so I keep at it. I call the insurance company every other day to try to get updates even though it's always the same thing. I was finally told that I should have an answer by this Wednesday so fingers crossed I do and it's a good one. My recommendation is to stay on the insurance company, keep records of who you speak to and when, and just be prepared for possible scheduling changes. I truly hope my case is just a fluke and that others don't have to go through all of this!!

I am going to Tijuana, Mexico for my sleeve on May 10th and the cost is the same today as it was in 2014. Although there is an additional fee of $80 because the first place they take you once they pick you up from airport is to a clinic to perform a CT scan because of COVID. It's a nominal fee, IMO.
I do not have a fear of flying during the pandemic but I understand that might be a showstopper for others. And the hospitals there take the same safety precautions as we do here in the States. And now that vaccinations are available to most everyone now, that can always be taken care of before you go.
I'm really just saying all this because I don't want you, or even the OP, to be deterred from taking that route even in the world of COVID. I would never have been approved here. I don't have any significant underlying medical issues due to weight and my BMI does not quite reach the requirements to qualify. Mexico was my only, and financially best, option.
JaysWife - If you get another denial, why don't ask your doctor what they think of surgery in Mexico. Personally, my physician cheered me on. Good luck to you. I know how much this means to you.

This whole process of getting my insurance to approve this surgery is a freaking nightmare. I started this whole process in August of 2020. I did everything the surgeon and insurance required of me. Got a tentative surgery date of 12/9/20. I was so excited! My insurance denied me in November. They said they needed more info and I needed more classes ( I had already done 12, I just did all of them in 2 months). So my team added on 4 more classes, once each month and resent all of my info highlighting the info ins. claimed to not have. Got a new date of March 19. End of Feb. I got ANOTHER denial because they are STILL claiming to not have all of my info. My team sent it yet again and got confirmation that it was received. I was rescheduled again and again and again, each time having to have it pushed because the ins needed more time. Always more time. It's finally to the point that I stopped scheduling because the back and forth with the ins. is endless. I got another denial last week because now it's different info that they didn't get. Stuff that was previously sent on multiple occasions but now is just magically not in my file. So my team sent it all again and the waiting starts all over. I have strayed so far off course I have gained back everything I previously lost and then some. I know I need to get back on track just in case by some divine intervention my insurance actually approves my surgery I'm not scrambling to get back down at the last minute but it's so hard. I've fallen back into my depression pit and just feel hopeless. There is no way I can self pay. I don't want to give up but that little nagging voice in my head just keeps telling me it will never happen for me. That I'm just not worth it. I wish I could afford an attorney or an advocate aside from surgical team but that's not in the cards for me either. Blah... Sorry to be a Debby Downer, I just don't have many people that understand where I'm at that I can vent to.

This whole process of getting my insurance to approve this surgery is a freaking nightmare. I started this whole process in August of 2020. I did everything the surgeon and insurance required of me. Got a tentative surgery date of 12/9/20. I was so excited! My insurance denied me in November. They said they needed more info and I needed more classes ( I had already done 12, I just did all of them in 2 months). So my team added on 4 more classes, once each month and resent all of my info highlighting the info ins. claimed to not have. Got a new date of March 19. End of Feb. I got ANOTHER denial because they are STILL claiming to not have all of my info. My team sent it yet again and got confirmation that it was received. I was rescheduled again and again and again, each time having to have it pushed because the ins needed more time. Always more time. It's finally to the point that I stopped scheduling because the back and forth with the ins. is endless. I got another denial last week because now it's different info that they didn't get. Stuff that was previously sent on multiple occasions but now is just magically not in my file. So my team sent it all again and the waiting starts all over. I have strayed so far off course I have gained back everything I previously lost and then some. I know I need to get back on track just in case by some divine intervention my insurance actually approves my surgery I'm not scrambling to get back down at the last minute but it's so hard. I've fallen back into my depression pit and just feel hopeless. There is no way I can self pay. I don't want to give up but that little nagging voice in my head just keeps telling me it will never happen for me. That I'm just not worth it. I wish I could afford an attorney or an advocate aside from surgical team but that's not in the cards for me either. Blah... Sorry to be a Debby Downer, I just don't have many people that understand where I'm at that I can vent to.

This whole process of getting my insurance to approve this surgery is a freaking nightmare. I started this whole process in August of 2020. I did everything the surgeon and insurance required of me. Got a tentative surgery date of 12/9/20. I was so excited! My insurance denied me in November. They said they needed more info and I needed more classes ( I had already done 12, I just did all of them in 2 months). So my team added on 4 more classes, once each month and resent all of my info highlighting the info ins. claimed to not have. Got a new date of March 19. End of Feb. I got ANOTHER denial because they are STILL claiming to not have all of my info. My team sent it yet again and got confirmation that it was received. I was rescheduled again and again and again, each time having to have it pushed because the ins needed more time. Always more time. It's finally to the point that I stopped scheduling because the back and forth with the ins. is endless. I got another denial last week because now it's different info that they didn't get. Stuff that was previously sent on multiple occasions but now is just magically not in my file. So my team sent it all again and the waiting starts all over. I have strayed so far off course I have gained back everything I previously lost and then some. I know I need to get back on track just in case by some divine intervention my insurance actually approves my surgery I'm not scrambling to get back down at the last minute but it's so hard. I've fallen back into my depression pit and just feel hopeless. There is no way I can self pay. I don't want to give up but that little nagging voice in my head just keeps telling me it will never happen for me. That I'm just not worth it. I wish I could afford an attorney or an advocate aside from surgical team but that's not in the cards for me either. Blah... Sorry to be a Debby Downer, I just don't have many people that understand where I'm at that I can vent to.

Ugh that sucks! I sure hope mine doesn’t give me hell because I’m ready to fight them till the very end. Don’t give up, keep fighting them! I told my surgeon, that I could never afford to self pay for the surgery and that I was gonna fight them till the end. They know I’m not going to just give up. They were already sending me the self pay costs. Sending you positive vibes and don’t give up you got this!!