StrangeDz

Really sucks. I'm sorry.

I hear you on that too tight thing. I had a partial unfill and went from only being able to eat a 1/8 cup of food to being able to eat a whole cup of food and being hungry 3 hours later. I've gained 4 pounds on the last few weeks since, and it's so hard to find the balance. All I want to do it eat.... now that I can!

Papaya Enzyme Pills work MAGIC!

Why do we do that to ourselves??? It's insane! ...and so counter productive... sigh...

How do you get the percent of body weight? I used the calculator link you posted and it tells me the percent of weight i've lost in percentage... ie- I started at 266 and am at 188, which is 70.67%. I've only lost 78 pounds so far... i'm confused.... math and I have never had a close relationship!

Thanks! 72 lbs in two years! Slow, but moving along! Happy Bandiversary to you too, sister!

I can relate to the wanting to go through it for them thing. My girls are 14 and 16 and always going through some drama. Sometimes kids can be so cruel to each other that I wish I could make my baby's pain and heartache go away... but I cant. All I can do is listen and sometimes cry with them... Telling them it will get better doesnt usually help. I guess it doesnt with me either when I'm hurting. It isnt always easy being a mom, huh?

Your last paragraph almost made me cry.... I too have trouble accepting compliments about myself. I'm working on it tho...

I can identify with not seeing myself as my true size. I NEVER thought I was as big as I was until lately when I have tried on old clothes that I would STILL be small or tight. Or even worse, is looking at the seat of my pants and thinking HOLY HELL! I FIT IN THOSE??? THEY ARE BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ELEPHANT! ...and in reality they were tight on me then. hahaha

Send some this way (New Mexico)! It's been cold (mid 30-40 degrees and the teens at night), but no snow... (sob)

I'm SO proud of you! I wish I could say the same for me... I was so sick with the stomach flu 2 mondays ago and lost 9 pounds in 3 days (I know it was all fluids)! Since then, i've gained them all back plus 4 more! All I seem to be eating is cookies and I havent been back to the gym since (almost 2 weeks). I'm severly depressed which makes me eat more cookies and not want to exercise. Sigh... I go for a fill in 10 days and i'm so humiliated that I will show a gain for the first time. Makes me want to eat more cookies.... :Dancing_wub:

Love your story! Hope you dont mind but I shared it with my aunt... it filled my heart with warmth!

Back atcha girl!! :cursing:

Love Love LOVE your cupboard decoration! I'm just SO lazy to do anything so creative! When I was married (10+ years ago) my ex and I use to bake a shite load of cookies and give a huge bag to everyone in the family. Since my divorce I havent had the gumption to do it again... WELL, this year my daughters and I are going to try it again! Hopefully, I'll give away more than I eat! YIKES!!! hahaha! Happy Holidays to you and yours!!

I hear ya! I FORCE myself to go to the gym 3 days a week and hit the treadmill... I havent lost nearly as much as you have, but when I run, the fat that hangs from my belly jumps up and down! Its HORRIBLE! Well.. in retrospect, i'm just glad it isnt touching my thighs anymore! Hahaha! Ugh.

Good skin doesnt run in my family. My mom lost 75 lbs a few years ago and turned into a giant wrinkle. My neice had her baby and lost all baby weight PLUS some and her tummy actually looks like the pooch you have above! AND SHE IS ONLY 23!!!

Everyone always asks me what i'm going to do about all the excess skin I will have and my answer is always, I'll worry about when I have some!

Congratulations on your move to MOVE. Its hard to make that decision and actually do it (when I was at my biggest, I use to lay on the couch and THINK about excersizing!). I'm proud of you!

Good for you!!! You really do look wonderful! You should be VERY VERY PROUD of yourself! Congratulations!!!

Ok... you brought a lump to my throat! YOU ARE MOST WELCOME! Your blogs encourage, brighten, strengthen and let me know that it's normal to feel the way I do sometimes about food. I'm not alone. Your comical way of blogging through this drastic change in our lives makes it so much more bearable! THANK YOU!

I hear ya! We always have chocolate in my office in the little conference room accross from my desk and I SWEAR it calls me all day! Some days louder than others... haha

So this is how I combat these cries... I know this is gonna sound ridiculous, but I sometimes close the door to the conference room so I dont hear it. The guys laugh at me in the office because i'm so silly, but HEY... if it keeps me away from that darn chocolate all day, its all good!

Wow! I have a large frame according to the chart. I never knew... According the the 'happy weight' I should weigh 134. That's CRAZY! At my thinnest in high school, that is about what I weighed... and you could see my bones.

Anyway, regarding the goals that the docs set, I didnt get any goals. Heck, they didnt even weigh me before my surgery! I use my starting weight from my home scale... I weighed myself first thing when I got home from my surgery 4 days later. Who knows how accurate that is, but I continue to use my scale to chart my progress, as the dr. scale usually varies from mine. Just trying to keep it consistent. Ya know?

I hear ya! I went from a 44DD to a 38D or 40C!!! AACKKKKK!!! Now if my hips and thighs would slim down maybe I wouldnt feel so out of poportion in regards to my ever sagging baggy boobs!!

DAMN THOSE CHEETOS!

From what I've read in a few of your blogs, it sounds like you have an eating disorder... I'm glad you are going to discuss it with your doctor. Have you talked to a therapist or psychiatrist about your feelings toward food? I dont mean to sound judgemental... I hope you dont take it that way-its just that all that throwing up cant possibly be good for you. Good luck and keep us posted, ok?

Although I've yet to meet my first goal, I am so happy about something that I just had to share it with you!

For the first time in about 7 years I FIT INTO A PAIR OF JEANS!!! Not the stretchy kind with the elastic waist, but real jeans! WITH A ZIPPER AND POCKETS! This may not seem like a big deal, but I hated the stretch 'denim leggings' i've been squeezing into for years.

When my friend and I go to rock concerts, I have to give her my phone and money to carry in HER pockets, because I have none and dont want to take my purse in. Hated that! ...not to mention I felt like a total dork. How uncool are stretchy denim leggings on a 250 pound woman, right??? :thumbup:

At my biggest, I was in a 26-28 stretch pant and yes, I was stretching them out! :cursing: Now that I've lost 63 pounds I got brave and ordered some jeans from Roamans a few weeks ago in a size 24 (I still have the body image that I'm still 266 pounds!) and they were huge! I had to send them back. When I went to reorder, all they had left was a size 18! Booooooo! I wanted to order a 22, but....

Well, I ordered them anyway, telling myself that I would fit into them at some point in the future... I really liked the style and fit. PLUS they were on clearance.

Anyway, I tried them on last night, just to see how close they were to fitting me, AND THEY FIT! THEY ACTUALLY FIT!!!

I cried so hard! My daughter didnt understand why I was crying... I couldnt explain it. I thought I'd never fit into a regular pair of jeans again.

Yes, I know they do make jeans in larger sizes, but I never liked the way they looked. My thighs are huge so they would always be too baggy on the bottom (I'm not a fan of wide legged pants). Or they would be too low in the waist... or create muffin-top... or bag out in the back... or have hangy crotch. I finally gave up trying to buy jeans. Although I've lost some weight, I just didnt feel good in the many i've tried on and always left the store depressed and dejected.. WHICH in turn made me wonder why I was wasting my time trying so hard to lose weight when I would never be able to look the way I wanted. I know... I know... self sabotage.

I was always hoping that SOME DAY I would be able to wear some jeans and feel good in them. :tt2: THAT DAY IS TODAY! I'm so happy!

Congratulations!!! How exciting! I love all of your blogs. They are so inspirational and honest. I dont always comment, but I read them religiously. Thank you and keep up the good work!

Yikes! You poor thing! I hate PB-ing in the car! Its the worst! I tried to eat a bagel yesterday on the way into work and I was so sick... and on the freeway! I was grateful to have an empty cup on the floor! I shall never touch a bagel ever again!