SummerEssence

I had my surgery almost 5 1/2 months ago and honestly I'm so happy it has changed my life so much for the better!!! I have way more energy and when I look in the mirror I love my self again!! I am beautiful again!! it was the best decision I ever could have made!!!

Take a Benadryl maybe that will help. Is it just your stomach?

Missouri-Lee’s, I have to agree with you there was a lot of (I) going on in his story seems pretty selfish to me yes I said it selfish and maybe a little jealousy. If the doctors said she’s ok and she says she’s ok then it’s not her problem it’s his.

Maybe lower your carbs to half. This might help, but with the ok from your doctor or nutritionist of course.

12.3 lbs if your on your 3rd month, so question what do you expect to lose 20lbs each month? Seem
Like your doing GREAT!

I think your absolutely right to me it’s an invasion of privacy. Example a girl friend of mine tell me something private and intimate about herself or her husband and I wait just as good to be in a room full of people and say did you guys workout that intimate issue you were having, so did the doctor give you meds to help you out with that. That’s my example and people need to mind their own gosh darn business. Tell them nothing if you don’t want to.

Congrats and I pray all goes in your favor for the surgery.
I'm September 7th and I have the Endoscopy on August 14th and other testing such as a mini physical on August 17th. praying all goes well with those because honestly I'm ready to get this Loser situation going and to feel better and healthier in my skin.

So I just got back my result o was waiting for and it came back Negative .. so everything was just sent to the insurance company so now just wait for approval and a date.. fingers crossed..
Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

Good news coming soon, approval,date, surgery and a bright new life. Pretty cool, right?

I heard that Maderma is really good. My dermatologist reccommended it for a procedure I had but I never used it because my scar eventually faded. Research it and see what you think.

Thanks Wanda will do

Congrats and I pray all goes in your favor for the surgery.
I'm September 7th and I have the Endoscopy on August 14th and other testing such as a mini physical on August 17th. praying all goes well with those because honestly I'm ready to get this Loser situation going and to feel better and healthier in my skin.

Do you bring up all the hundreds of thousands of automobile accidents that results in death whenever anyone gets into a car? No? Then your logic that bringing up a totally unrelated, extremely rare issue that just happened to occur to your aunt doesn't have anything to do with your wife's current situation, like, at all.

Here's what I'm reading you saying:

"My wife is happy and feels healthy. Her doctors confirm that she's healthy. But I don't care about that because I don't like the way she looks, and thus nothing anyone says is going to make me understand that I'm wrong"

You came here looking for information, you've been provided with it, by folks that are right in the middle of dealing with it, but it's clear that the truth isn't what you were looking for.

Yea, it seems like you were anti-surgery from the beginning and are now finding things to be wrong to justify your feelings. If your wife and surgeon feel she’s fine and healthy, then her looks shouldn’t really be of any concern.
If she wants to gain more, that’s her decision. If She is weak and wants to weight train, that’s her decision. I am sorry about your aunt and your family’s loss.
and she has a stomach, she can weight train. She just doesn’t want to maybe?

@Biggamehunter Ok... let me put my 2 cents into this conversation. It sounds like you don't fully understand the human body and are tainted by something that happened 12 years ago.

Your wife has a stomach. And speaking from personal experience, yes, you can most certainly weight lift and body build with the bypass.

What I think you don't understand is that, fat isn't just on the outside, it's on the inside as well and Visceral fat, the fat on the inside, wraps around muscles, organs etc. Did your wife lose a little muscle mass? maybe. Did she loss all her muscle mass, hell no, she's lost the fat that made it APPEAR as if it was larger. As far as the wrestling... body mass and weight play MAJOR roles in hand to hand combat. She's more than likely not weaker, she's just working with a lot less mass and can't use that mass to overpower you like she used to do.

You are using a lot of "I feel" and other opinion statements... when talking about a medical professional. I'm curious what background you have that makes you believe you are smarter than a doctor. Not saying all doctors are super geniuses and they are all simply humans, but, by and large, they know their damn jobs better than those that aren't doctors.

It sounds like you need some therapy because it's pretty clear that the issues here are not with your wife or her surgery.

What happened to your Aunt sounds horrible, but, it is a VERY rare occurrence, as you were informed. But it's totally understandable why you'd have strong feelings about it, your reaction is justified, and you are allowed to have them, but that doesn't mean that what you are afraid of is happening or common. Just because you feel a certain way, doesn't mean that's what is actually going on. I hope you reach out for some counseling.

Missouri-Lee’s, I have to agree with you there was a lot of (I) going on in his story seems pretty selfish to me yes I said it selfish and maybe a little jealousy. If the doctors said she’s ok and she says she’s ok then it’s not her problem it’s his.

You said you weren’t happy that your wife went forward with this from the beginning. Is it possible that you are unconsciously looking for physical changes in your wife to support that feeling? Maybe even a “I-told-you-so” feeling because you’re not happy with her appearance now or maybe because she proceeded with her surgery despite your feelings?
I’ve come to accept what she has done… I don’t think you’ve accepted it at all. Why were you opposed to her decision to have this done in the first place? Is there something deep inside of you that resents her for having this surgery even though you were opposed to it? (I don’t know you, but some men have a problem with women making their own decisions, including decisions about their own bodies.)
She used to be… she is now… she is starting to look… She also looks like…. These sound like mourning words. You’re in mourning for the body your wife used to have.
I’m starting to worry… Starting? No, you're in full-blown worry mode, except it’s not really worry. I still think it’s mourning for what was.
I’m afraid I’ve lost my wife… Afraid? No, in your mind you’ve lost her. But have you lost her? Really? Your wife is happy. And the doctor’s office doesn’t seem worried.
His office pretty much ignores my concerns… Are you sure that they’re just disagreeing with you and not ignoring you?
This surgery killed my aunt…. WLS is not a murderer with a sawed-off shotgun. Your aunt had a rare and unfortunate complication. I hope you didn’t bring up your aunt's complication as one of the reasons for not wanting your wife to have her surgery. Or did you?
If I come across as terse, it’s only because men tend to understand things better when those things are presented bluntly or in black and white.
Lastly, it’s only been 10 months. Your wife's body is still trying to find a happy balance.
Has your sex life changed? Is that something you’re also unhappy about? (My husband has always enjoyed my big, soft body.)
Please do not interpret anything I’ve said above as lecturing or patronizing because that is not my intent. This is just my take on things from a woman's point of view. Not every woman's point of view. Just mine. We're not all the same, you know.
You sound like a loving and caring husband. No one here wants you to be unhappy, including me. Your wife, I’m sure, doesn’t want you to be unhappy. But guess what? It’s okay to be unhappy sometimes, except you need to figure out if your unhappiness and fears about your wife’s new body are rational or irrational. If they are irrational fears, and you still can’t come to terms with it all, maybe a therapist might help. Maybe joint therapy. And there is, of course, absolutely no shame in that. None.

Stop looking at the NEGATIVES and start looking at the POSITIVES think about the new you and relax, quit giving yourself a Headache over it. Positive thinking brings Positive things. Now go get the new you no doubting. It will all be ok and you’ll be glad you did in a few weeks and months, it’s like this if you feed it, it will grow stop feeding the NEGATIVITY!.

I think your absolutely right to me it’s an invasion of privacy. Example a girl friend of mine tell me something private and intimate about herself or her husband and I wait just as good to be in a room full of people and say did you guys workout that intimate issue you were having, so did the doctor give you meds to help you out with that. That’s my example and people need to mind their own gosh darn business. Tell them nothing if you don’t want to.

I think your absolutely right to me it’s an invasion of privacy. Example a girl friend of mine tell me something private and intimate about herself or her husband and I wait just as good to be in a room full of people and say did you guys workout that intimate issue you were having, so did the doctor give you meds to help you out with that. That’s my example and people need to mind their own gosh darn business. Tell them nothing if you don’t want to.

Thanks, looks like I got it now. Your Awesome!

I haven't had the surgery but I will say this to you 1st positive thinking is imperative, 2nd remember where you were and how much you disliked it and maybe put up some pictures to remind yourself how much you don't want to be there again, 3rd you have done a great job at losing 90 lbs, 4th STOP now with the eating poorly and get back to maybe the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd week post op eating and attempt to maybe take a walk when the parents are eating poorly, also you can prep your meals a day a head and after your walk and they've eaten you can have your dinner that you prepped. 5th Last but not least quit beating up on yourself remember the sleeve is just a tool you had to be doing something to lose that 90 pounds ok. Now Good luck to you my BPal and you got this remember that and repeat it to yourself when you get up in the mornings that your worth getting to your goal and loving yourself into the best you, you can be. Night

Stop looking at the NEGATIVES and start looking at the POSITIVES think about the new you and relax, quit giving yourself a Headache over it. Positive thinking brings Positive things. Now go get the new you no doubting. It will all be ok and you’ll be glad you did in a few weeks and months, it’s like this if you feed it, it will grow stop feeding the NEGATIVITY!.

Stop looking at the NEGATIVES and start looking at the POSITIVES think about the new you and relax, quit giving yourself a Headache over it. Positive thinking brings Positive things. Now go get the new you no doubting. It will all be ok and you’ll be glad you did in a few weeks and months, it’s like this if you feed it, it will grow stop feeding the NEGATIVITY!.

Stop looking at the NEGATIVES and start looking at the POSITIVES think about the new you and relax, quit giving yourself a Headache over it. Positive thinking brings Positive things. Now go get the new you no doubting. It will all be ok and you’ll be glad you did in a few weeks and months, it’s like this if you feed it, it will grow stop feeding the NEGATIVITY!.