LindaD

Hugging my knees is one of my goals and a visualization I use... I can't wait to be able to do that!! Congrats!

Congrats!! Keep up the good work!

I loooove reading these sorts of posts. You give hope to me and others like me. I want a sassy, sexy attitude back!!

I feel sorry for those girls because that sort of insensitivity and meanness is way more of a hinderance than some extra fat. I'm sorry you endured that. I think faced with the same situation, I would have (wanted to) march up to them with my head held high and said that goodness comes in all shapes and sizes, just like shallow snottiness and that they should be ashamed of their behavior.

Just a follow up.... I wrote a letter and faxed it to them. The program manager called me back right away and apologized profusely for the comedy of errors. She explained that they have changed systems, moved offices, and changed how they deliver orientation all within the span of a few months and that's what is responsible for the mistakes made here. She gave me her direct line and has promised to guide me through as painlessly as possible. The reason I chose the surgeon is his reputation and his affiliation with Washington University / Barnes-Jewish Hospital. And I still think that is such an important thing. I suppose I'm going to stick with my original plan. If I see any more mis-handlings, then I will need to find a different surgeon, but if the woman I spoke to is to be believed, then that should all be behind me. One can hope. So, the process continues. My biggest challenge now is that I am basically out on business travel for 3 weeks in a row so that will all be lost time. Sigh. And {blush} thank you for the nice compliment. )

Thank you all for taking the time to share your stories and perspectives with me. It's very helpful to hear and I truly appreciate it. Onward and upward....

Insurance is Aetna and based upon my medical condition (high BP, sleep apnea, BMI, plus 100 lbs overweight) the information I have says it is COVERED.

I wish I could just take 1 or 2 days off work and do ALL the appointments right together in a row... all appointments and paperwork. Then I'd just have to wait for a surgery date. Right now, it seems like tons of phone calls and separate appointments (and each appointment means a 1/2 day off work). I feel like someone is going to say/think "Well, if you can't even dedicate the time to do this process, then how are you going to deal with the commitment to having the band?" I'm hoping that an occasional fill is all that will be needed after? That seems to be the case with most. I guess part of my personal problem is that I'm anxious to get this done before my insurance changes and therefore am trying to do all this pre-surgery stuff during a period of time where I'm busier than I EVER have been at work (and, for the record, also a period of time where I'm working hard to make sure I have a JOB in the new company, so I'm scared to push too much for time away during a critical project, etc.)

I'm in St. Louis. I had chosen Dr. Eagon at Barnes-Jewish. The one that seems too marketing-drivien is Heart of America Bariatrics, Dr. Van Wagner (sheesh, it even sounds like a soap opera name :lol). I just don't get a good vibe there. I might be pre-judging inaccurately though. The other one that's been around for a long time is New Start St. Alexius NewStart Bariatric Surgery Center, St. Louis Missouri but I haven't looked into their surgeons yet. And then there is the practice at Des Peres, Dr. Minkin and Dr. Scott. Bariatric Program (Surgical Weight Loss Management)-Des Peres Hospital-St. Louis, MO I've seen these surgeons reviewed on various sites, but their web site doesn't give as extensive information as I would like. So if I switch, it's square one again... all the questions and forms and all that. I'm deliberating if it's worth giving Dr. Eagon's office one more chance. I wonder if the inefficienies I experienced were isolated coincidences or the way they operate. I wish I could find that out. In some of the reviews I've found, people talk about "how busy" the office is, which makes me think maybe that's the norm.

It seems there are 3 prevalent offices in my area. I researched the surgeon's credentials and all that and this is how I chose the one I chose. One of the other ones seems a bit to "marketing driven" for me. Almost like it's this big money-making scheme for them. Just the vibe I get... But I think you're right... this office isn't right for me. I don't know exactly where to go to start over, but I suppose I must. Back to the drawing board. At least all the blood work wasn't done in vein (pun haha). Sigh. I feel like I'll never get this done. What these surgery centers don't know is that I have been researching and following this procedure and people who have had it (reading articles, blogs, message boards, talking to people who have been through it) for a LONG time. This isn't a spontaneous decision for me, I have educated myself thoroughly on it. Yet I still have to go through their education hoops. I understand why, it's just hard and frustrating to balance this with all the other stuff on my plate.

I am trying to jump through all the hoops. I know they are important hoops and I know they are there for a reason. But it's so HARD. And it doesn't help that the surgeon's office seems as busy and disorganized as I am. I am in a really busy work time, I travel a lot, put in a lot of hours. My company is being bought out so it's a time of uncertainty (will I even have a job?) I'm trying to get this surgery done in 2008 because what if my insurance changes and won't cover it in 2009 (IF I have a job)?? Stuff like that. Well, I'm trying to do it all. I filed the original paperwork with the surgeon's office and they confirmed I am a candidate and said they would request approval from my insurance. In the meantime, I'm supposed to do all this other stuff. I've already done all the bloodwork, which was time off work. I know I have to see "their" psychologist, nutritionist, etc. but I've called the office TWICE to get the contact info so I can make the appointments and no one calls back. And I'm also required to go to their orientation. They only have them during the weekday, once per month. The first one I was registered for I ended up having to cancel because I had to go on a business trip. So I wait a month for the next one, take a half day off work, and they left us sitting in a conference room for TWO hours. They couldn't find the doctor, they couldn't find the nurse, etc. etc. I left so angry, shaking and near tears. How am I going to be able to do this? How can I manage to jump through all these hoops if I can't even count on THEM being responsive and organized? I'm really upset. I suppose I should switch doctors but, darn it, I chose that surgeon because of his reputation. Should I "fight" with his office to make it happen, or am I going to regret that (my feeling is that I don't want his staff to dislike me - that might not bode well for my care). This sucks. I'm so discouraged and I don't know how to push this through. Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated.

I have bought and read this book and others by Ellyn Satter and follow much of her advice. I think they are good books, they get my recommendation too. Thank you all for your input. Just by way of follow up -- a few comments. I do intend to share with people that I'm doing this. I've already shared with several my intent to do this (as I am in planning stages now). As I said in my original post, I wear my life on my sleeve pretty much. Having said that, I do believe I have to tell my daughters. So it's really more about HOW I tell them. I want ot do it in the best way possible so that I do no alienate my overweight daughter or make her think this is a substitute for healthy eating, etc. And in case I wasn't clear, we already have made family-wide changes beginning 4 years ago... all skim milk, no sugared cereal, whole wheat pastas and breads, etc. etc. We've made tons of changes. 8" salad plates for dinner. No more rolls/bread with meals. Lots of chicken and fish and less beef. No cookies/cakes/chips (except pretzels and baked tortillas occasionally). We don't do poptarts or any of that stuff - they have only low-sugar whole grain cereals. I mean, I think our diet stacks up pretty good against the typical American family. But none of this has yet shown to have an effect for my daughter. She (like me) has portion control issues and is always hungry. She's 6, and yes I know she will be called fat and I know she will learn to hate that. I did too. But I hope I can help her navigate it to where this doesn't DEFINE who she is. Even though I have always been overweight, I am highly successful in my career, I have a wonderful husband, family, house, life. So I expect that my daughter will be able to rise above and probably be stronger for it. And someday if the band or some other approach is right for her, I'd support her in seeking it. Right now, what is of utmost importance to me is to make sure she knows how much we love her and how we don't find her imperfect at all, she's gorgeous and smart and I just want all of us to be our best, the healthiest we can be, and that's why the doctor is helping me.

I am currently pursuing a band. I don't have a date yet, but I've started the process and am hopeful it will be in the coming months. I have a child who is 6 and overweight. I actually have 3 children in the home, 2 are "average" in body size/weight and the 6 year old is big. We are (and have been) working on making family wide changes for a while now, toward the goal of helping the 6 year old without singling her out. Honestly, I don't believe she sees herself as chubby/fat - it just asn't occurred to her, and she fortunately has not (yet) been teased by peers. So here is my question - I had all along assumed that I would share with my kids that the doctor did a procedure on me that helps me to lose weight. Maybe because I'm a pretty transparent person and I figure they will see/hear/know so I might as well just be the one to tell them. But my worry is the 6 year old... Maybe not now, but later - in a year or two, will the message she takes in be that "Mommy wasn't good enough when she was fat, and so I"m not good enough because I am fat." (if she is still overweight, that is)?? Or will it be "Mommy got to get thin because she had this thing done but I don't get to - no fair." Might I inadvertently create jealousy or inadequacy/self-doubt or self-loathing, etc? I don't want to hurt my child. I NEVER want her to feel like I think she's anything less than a spectacular kid. I feel like I'm sending mixed messages to her by doing this.

I think 12/14 is about perfect for me. I have a large build/frame and so I don't see myself going down much under that. I know that the way I carry weight (people tend to guess I way much less than I do) that at a size 12, I'll look positively THIN. I can't wait....

Oh, and another question for you -- I am currently scheduled for a comprehensive health exam (like a 4 hour very thorough exam that covers blood work, stress test, mammogram, etc. etc.) This is something my company offers as a benefit to managers and above. Anyway, since I will have this full bevvy of info - tons of test results and blood work - will my weight loss practice make use of this to satisfy some/any of its requirements? Like, if they need certain bloodwork and this other executive health exam does that same bloodwork, will it count? They won't make me get it done all over again, will they? Does anyone know?

I missed the seminar at my chosen doctor's practice because I had to go out of town. I always have to travel at the last minute. I called and begged them to have a weekend seminar or to forego the seminar and let me just set up an appointment. They have mailed me all the paperwork to fill out and will get back to me on the other. Right now, their seminar is required. I'm not opposed to going, but they don't have them too frequently and they are on a weekday during the day. It just makes it so difficult. But I spent time speaking with the nurse about my dilemma - my company has been bought out and I know my insurance will change on January 1st. Maybe the new insurance will be as good or better, but that's an unknown. I want to get my band while I'm covered with my existing insurance, so I have a time line to meet. She said they would help me get it done well within my timeline. I hope that means it can go quickly once started. Wish me luck!!

That's great news. Wow. You were right about where I am. Six months, huh? Very inspirational. (And now I'm going to read about your WL Journey...)

I'd be tempted to tell a white lie here. I'd say that due to a medication I take, the smells from the lunch room cause nausea and I needed to move away from them so I didn't feel sick all day. Is that possible?

Can you scratch itches you couldn't reach before??? Right now, I have an itch and - dammit - I can't reach it but I just know if I was 150 pounds, I would be able to. Do bras fit better? Sexy push-up underwire bras - will I once again be able to pick one off the rack and have it look awesome? When I tie my athletic shoes, will the bows be in the middle instead of all the way over to the side because I had to cross my leg over my knee in order to be able to tie it? BELTS - will I wear belts? Cute outside of my shirt/top kinds of belts? Will I be able to put a napkin in my lap and have it catch any food spills - is it possible I will no longer have to worry about the front of my shirt always being the culprit when I am not as careful as I should be at meals?

I just want to cry for the want of it all, reading your replies. I want the energy, the libido, the quality of sleep, the knees that don't hurt, the lap for my daughter, the ride in the rollercoaster. I WANT IT ALL. Why does it have to be so hard, so time consuming, to get it. My job is so busy, I'm out of town so often, I just keep missing appointments. And I know I'm going to have to go on the wild goose chase to get approved by my insurance. I wish I could just pay someone to do it all for me because I don't know how I'll be able to get it done. But I have to do it now because my current insurance will cover if I meet all their criteria, so there's that, but my company is being acquired and by January I might have all new benefits/insurance. Thank you all for sharing. You all touched on what I wanted/hoped out of this journey. It makes me more determined to find a way.

I hope you will indulge me here. I am early in my journey. Well, early in the planning/doing portion (I've been in the Thinking portion for a long, long time). I have sort of read enough message boards and blogs and such to understand how the surgery changes your life in a practical manner... eating and drinking and Protein and small bites and PBs and tightness and exercise and support groups and fills and unfills etc. I was hoping some of you would be willing to tell me the story of how this changed your life in other ways. Aside from the eating and such, what else is different? Confidence? Abilities to do things you couldn't before? Sex life? Work life? Tell me a story.... Thanks.

I remember the first time I was called fat, I was 5 years old. It was by my older sister. She went on to tease and call me fat for years and I was oh so certain that she was right. When I look back on picture from my youth, it's clear I was not "fat" (although I wasn't as thin as my siblings) but I absolutely was mentally fat from the time I was 5, and physically I was larger than my peers. I suppose my current body is sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. (Hi, I'm new.)

Hello, I'm Linda. I don't have a band yet but am pursuing it. I've been reading a lot on your board and it makes me feel even more confident that the band is the right choice for me. I hope you don't mind me asking stupid questions every now and then. My first one is what is an NSV? I hope to be hanging around here regularly, if you'll have me. I've been looking for a good WLS message board for some time now (I just can't get into the format at Obesity Help and I like and am familiar with vBulletin which is what this board is built on). By way of intro, I am 43, married, with 5 children. My brood is made of all girls and they range in age from 3 to 24. Nice to meet all of you.