froufrou

We are with you - don't give up. Take each day as it comes... don't look too far in to the future. This WILL pass. Things WILL get better. If there is anything we can do to help, please reach out to us. Sending big hugs.

Is this why people put coke up their bottom? :D

Anna, I'm so sorry you have had that verbal abuse! It's disgusting. 'fat shaming' seems to be the last 'acceptable' kind of discrimination out there and I cannot wait until it stops. You look absolutely beautiful - and happy. I'm so glad that things are much better for you now with your health.
I was also terrorised by an ex-wife. My husband and his first wife (married only because she got pregnant) were only together for 9 months after their daughter was born, and then she walked out on them - went to live with another man and left my husband to raise his daughter on his own. I came along 6 years later and that was it... license for her to call every day and harass us. Get to us through her daughter by questioning her over everything that happened in our house and then call my husband to complain - it got to the point where my step-daughter would just lie about things because she realised that her mum gave her attention when she told some juicy story.
My husband would be so traumatised by it all (he had panic attacks) that he would beg me to just go along with it all and not rock the boat, so I was silenced too. It was just a horrible horrible time and all while I was in a new country away from any family and friends. Ugh! She would call and swear down the phone and call me fat. This went on until my step-daughter was no longer receiving child support from us. The day she turned 18 the calls stopped. I really, really understand what you are going through. Are your step-children grown and out of the house now? The day that there are no longer any ties and reason to communicate is just THE BEST.

Anna, I'm so sorry you have had that verbal abuse! It's disgusting. 'fat shaming' seems to be the last 'acceptable' kind of discrimination out there and I cannot wait until it stops. You look absolutely beautiful - and happy. I'm so glad that things are much better for you now with your health.
I was also terrorised by an ex-wife. My husband and his first wife (married only because she got pregnant) were only together for 9 months after their daughter was born, and then she walked out on them - went to live with another man and left my husband to raise his daughter on his own. I came along 6 years later and that was it... license for her to call every day and harass us. Get to us through her daughter by questioning her over everything that happened in our house and then call my husband to complain - it got to the point where my step-daughter would just lie about things because she realised that her mum gave her attention when she told some juicy story.
My husband would be so traumatised by it all (he had panic attacks) that he would beg me to just go along with it all and not rock the boat, so I was silenced too. It was just a horrible horrible time and all while I was in a new country away from any family and friends. Ugh! She would call and swear down the phone and call me fat. This went on until my step-daughter was no longer receiving child support from us. The day she turned 18 the calls stopped. I really, really understand what you are going through. Are your step-children grown and out of the house now? The day that there are no longer any ties and reason to communicate is just THE BEST.

Wow wow wow! Everyone! Wow!!!
It was an awesome year, amazing results for everybody! I get lost in the negative and forget to Celebrate the positive. Body dysmorphia? I don’t know but I’m so happy to read from you guys because everybody is so positive and I have zero regrets about doing this surgery.
The surgery resolved all of my hip and ankle pain, abdominal pain I was having from scar tissue, and a “TMI“ issue I was having as well! Also, I have never had good self-esteem but I do now.... better. Probably best to say “better”. I think I look beautiful but I still have my insecurities just like everyone else.
My husband’s ex-wife taunted me for 13 years. 13 years of being called FAT, fat b****, huge, “waitress from Mel’s diner”... whatever that means, among many other appearance-related insults that were constantly flung at me. She would text me, email me, approach me in public... anything she could do to rattle me about my weight. She started harassing me and my kids again this past week (yes, I called the police) and previously had reached out to me through a text message (she uses my stepsons cell phone and pretends to be him to engage me in conversations which is how this one from a couple of months started, below), and... (I won’t say that this is all about the weight loss surgery) BUT it was such an amazing feeling NOT TO CARE. She has not seen me in over a year and assumes I still look the same.
She can never BULLY me about my weight again. I’d like to say that didn’t play a part in making me feel like **** or didn’t motivate me to make change. It’s sad that adults over the age of 40 have to stoop to that kind of level. I just usually don’t respond or if I do, I try to be positive and rise above it.
I’m sure I’m not alone in knowing what it’s like to have someone constantly verbally tell you how fat/ugly you are. Even if it’s somebody’s opinion whom you do not respect. My ex-husband also used to tell me I was fat and I would take diet pills to try to stay within his ideal range. His coworkers started calling him Cheeto at one point because he was telling them how he told me not to eat Cheetos. I weighed 115 pounds at the time and had given birth to his twins less than a year before. The guys he worked with ultimately started teasing him because he was being verbally abusive to me and THEY thought I was attractive. He even wrote me a letter about a year ago and said that I had passed my “fat gene” on to our daughter. I’ve had a lifetime of beating myself up over this. Even my Mom would tell me that I needed to “tone up”. I just look back and think - I’ve lost 30 years worrying about my weight!?!
So, this has been so much more than losing 60+ pounds for me. Now I have started watching my calories and walking. I am fluctuating back and forth 3-4 pounds now as the restriction has decreased. It’s a small effort, and just a start after months of not having it under control and not really watching or staying on plan.
Regardless, I feel great. I took this picture a few days ago and I know I’m healthy now and no regrets...
Thank you to everyone here who has supported me and lifted me up through this process. Each and every person who has made any comment or contribution here is important to me. Whether we talked directly or not, all of the input was so greatly appreciated and continued to motivate me to stay positive. I’m so happy that everyone has had success!
Group FEB ‘19 is the best!

Everyone knew I was having the sleeve operation and therefore everyone knew about my leak (hard to miss seeing as I was in hospital for over 2 months).
This time, for my RNY I decided not to tell everyone - I just didn't feel like it. I'm tired of the judgements, etc. I told my mum and sister, and then I told my mother in law I was going to have it (just didn't tell her when I actually DID have it) and obviously my husband knows. However, when I told my mother in law that I'd had it done, she decided to take it upon herself to tell the rest of my husband's family. When I kindly asked her to not tell anyone else, she stopped communicating with me. That's how it still stands. She said I should have told her not to tell anyone, but I thought it was obvious because I hadn't told them prior to my surgery. Stupid me.
At the end of the day OP, it's up to you. It's your body and people should respect that. Maybe down the line, when you feel more comfortable, you can tell your partner. In the meantime, we are all here and we know what you are going through

I guess it really is an individual journey then. Some people want to be notice and others don't.

It took me over two years to get my my sleeve surgery and during that time I started using a Fitbit and logging everything, exercise, food eaten and number of glasses of Water a day. While jumping through all the hoops, crying in frustration and finally finding a PCP who would actually work with me, I managed to lose 35 pounds. At one my point, my doctor verified that I still wanted the surgery because I was doing so well on my own.
on 8/21/19 I had my sleeve surgery and have lost 77 pounds since then. I went from a starting weight of 315, to 280 on the morning of my surgery. You lose so much weight so quickly from the four weeks of liquid diet before and after the surgery that when reality sets in and my weight loss stalls, I panic and think this is it, I am not going to lose any more weight. Tomorrow I see my surgeon for my six month follow up and I so wanted to be below 200 pounds but I have been stalled for the past two weeks. Tonight I was bemoaning my stall to my husband and he responded, “Knock it off. Even if you didn’t lose another pound, you have already lost one third of your body weight. Just stick with what you have been doing and you will keep losing weight.”
What amazes me is how good everyone who posts pictures look. I can see my weight loss in my face, hands and feet, oh and my poor rear end but never in my stomach. I want to lose another 70 pounds but even if I don’t make that goal, I have grown used to exercising regularly, haven’t had a soda in iced six months and have absolutely no desire for one (I took a sip from my husband’s one day and nearly wretched it was so sweet) and I still faithfully use the food log on my Fitbit app. Two months after my surgery, I had an appointment with my primary doctor and I thought he was going to do a jug in the exam room because my blood pressure had come down so much. He also crowed about my BMI. According to my Fitbit app my heart health is now excellent. So, even if I never lose another pound, I have decided to listen to my hubby and be thankful for what I have accomplished but I will never stop trying to reach my goals.

Well - it’s nice to hear positive feedback. That’s why some of us care. I love hearing how good I look now and I love not hating my reflection. By the way, it took until I was about 100 lbs down before anyone said anything.

Congrats recidivist - I know it’s not all about looks, but you do look amazing! You must feel amazing too. Well done!!

Greetings from down under, everyone!
March 2 is my one-year anniversary of gastric bypass surgery. Most of you have followed my progress along the way, so I won't repeat everything here except to say that I feel great and could not be happier that I made the decision a year ago to improve the quality of my life by taking this step.
I've been on maintenance for several months now. After reaching a low of 132 pounds, I've been hovering around 140 for the last couple of months (which truly amazes me based on how much I feel like I've been eating).
I'm attaching a (very unflattering) photo of myself in the hospital right after my surgery and the most recent photo I have, which was taken on a ferris wheel in Melbourne, Australia about five weeks ago during the Australian Open.
I want to thank all of you for being such an inspiring source of information and support over the past year. Congratulations to all of us!!

My husband didn't want me to go through with the bypass after having a failed (in hospital with a leak for 3 months) gastric sleeve. He said that he didn't want me to have it, but he would support me. i said 'ok then' and did it anyway.

Does your wife have weight issues? Is this her first pregnancy - is she afraid of getting big while you get smaller? Is she worried about your motives for getting surgery? Is your marriage in trouble without the surgery issues? I’m just wondering what is going on behind this to make you guys even bring up divorce.

No after pic - all eaten. I fancied a plate of things to pick at. salad with tahini and lemon juice, low carb tortilla, vegetarian cheese, 2 veggie sausage links. I was stuffed after this - it was too much really but it all tasted so good!

@Everythinganna, @froufrou @AZhikerI completely get it! Such a different word that we are adjusting to. My mindddd has not caught up. People are asking me if I am done losing weight. I want to look around cause in my mind, I am just focused on reaching my goal weight. Aa part of me is terrified about maintenance mode. Seems like I am always gaining or losing. I definitely need to start working on the head work.

It's all very strange, isn't it? I used to be the biggest one at work and now I am the second smallest. I also feel both uncomfortable and excited when people make statements about my new size. I want to look around to see who they are talking about! What I am finding to be more awkward, however, is how heavy people relate to me now. Those who knew me before NEVER say anything and sometimes avoid me. Heavy people who did not know me before make the assumption that I cannot relate to them. When weight comes up, like during an exam, they act like I am an outsider to their condition, while in fact I probably understand it even better than they do, themselves.
I can tell you for sure and for certain, there is a mental condition that accompanies obesity. Shame, guilt, depression, low self esteem, blaming others, making excuses ("Obesity runs in my family," "I'm not as fat as THAT person," for example), and continually comparing one's size with others, becomes a lifestyle and a mindset. Just because we lose the weight, doesn't mean we automatically lose the mindset. That seems to take even more work than simply sticking to the post -op diet.
After one year, I feel like I am now just beginning to do the real work of weight loss, which is the head work. It's rather surreal feeling sometimes - like I landed on a different planet and have to learn to navigate the new world.
I added up all my macros for today. I haven't been counting calories lately, as I am eating as much as I can just to maintain. But the numbers were informative. Looks like I am packing in 1800-2000 calories a day, 70 gm of Protein and 60 gm of Fiber. It seems like an insane amount of food - another surreal experience to get used to. Before surgery I could easily gain weight on 1200 - 1500 calories. Now I have to eat at least that much just to maintain, and hundreds more when I work out.

I remember back in the day - mid 90s - when I lost a ton of weight and was actually skinny. My brain wasn't caught up though and I felt naked. I see weight as layers of protection for some people. You suddenly feel seen and it can be quite painful if you're not ready. Be kind to yourselves and definitely come here and talk to us about it if you need some support.

I know- It’s weird for me too. I went into White House Black market and the lady looked me up and down. She’s like “you are so tiny you’re probably an extra extra small. Let me get that in that size for you”. Then I was eating with somebody last week and I told them (they did not know I had had surgery) that I eat really small portions and I’d be open to sharing a plate. He was like “oh I can totally tell - look how tiny you are!” So weird! But I love it though. And I feel better now. I’m actually able to eat somewhat regularly. Six days and counting till my surgiversary!

Extra small at WHBM, when I can can fit a medium dress ( darn the girls), I am going to dance outside the store. Congrats,, great job. Enjoy the tiny comments

Thank you Goodie! For a long time, I was feeling really bad about myself and just awkward. The change from heavy to small is such a weird adjustment. You would think we would be excited but I just felt uncomfortable with the compliments. Like I didn’t deserve them or something. Like they weren’t real. Or honest. I almost felt like people were just saying that need to be nice. I could look in the mirror and see a whole different person. The person I’ve always seen.

I still feel sometimes like I “cheated” to get “tiny” by having surgery. It’s SoOoo psychological. It’s almost like a weird guilt and disassociation. I will hit my year anniversary on February 20. I’m still going through the head work. I think that’s going to be almost more work than the actual weight loss process. I hope I don’t sound weird. I’m just being honest.

Generally, if people are hungry every two hours after some time out, it could be a few things, but Occam's Razor (simplest is best), will show you that most of the breakthrough hunger is caused by:
1. Blood sugar crashes and insulin spikes from the previous meal. ( A meal should be able to last someone 3-6 hours and if you're feeling hungry at <2hours, you can find the culprit by looking at your food log. Anything with added sugar, fake sugar, or fast carbs - talking bout you Mr. Ritz! will cause this type of phenomenon. It can also be caused by habit...habitually eating every 2 hours never allows our blood sugar to go back to normal, and so we perceive that we need to eat cuz we're starving or shaky when the blood sugar hits normal rather than "low" or low normal. Point blank, it also hard wires the habit to receive a hit to the hedonic pleasure center every 2 hours. So the more we eat the more we get used to eating and want to eat. Also, Snacks are usually pretty unregulated. I can EASILY add 500 calories in a snack to my daily total. So not only will I stall...I will gain.)
2. Your restriction prevents you from taking in adequate Protein per meal. Usually 2-4oz of protein per meal will last a "normal" non-athlete between 3-4 hours. Anything less than that, and yeah you could be legit straight up hungry every 2 hours.
3. Your exercise level is causing blood sugar disregulation and causing you to go low (usually anything over 2 hours) which causes hunger.
4. It could be that time of the month...just sayin...
5. It could be that a medicine you're now taking or a Vitamin you're taking has gone too high. (I can tell when I need to lay off my B-Complex and B-12 for a couple days. I get voraciously hungry. And the hunger dissipates the further out from my last dose of Bs. Check your vit levels with your doctor and tell him/her about your voracious appetite.
6. You need Water. Lots of it. You are dehydrated.
7. It's natural. Around 7-9 months my appetite came back like there is no tomorrow. I added in IF at that point since I could easily satisfy daily protein needs with food. By adding IF, I was able to control my insulin and no more blood sugar rollercoasters and lost the rest of my weight.

Moo Shu Vegetables. It’s so good.

No after pic - all eaten. I fancied a plate of things to pick at. salad with tahini and lemon juice, low carb tortilla, vegetarian cheese, 2 veggie sausage links. I was stuffed after this - it was too much really but it all tasted so good!

sugar free cranberry chia scones
Any basic scone recipe will do i simply used splenda instead of sugar
Subtle and gradual way to have your family and friends commit to your lifestyle changes ❤

49 yearsss?! wow thats a long time. Good for you! I know some people just enjoy it more. I usually make everything from scratch anyways but I feel like being a vegetarian helps keep the cals down. Something to potentially look into again...