brandyII

My sister was date raped at 15 and became pregnant. She didn't even know she was pregnant until she was about 6 months. My mother had died when my sister was only 12 years old. Anyway, afterwards she started talking to a priest at our school who took her to Planned Parenthood for a test and found out she was but she was still too scared to tell our father. She finally fessed up when she was about 7 months pregnant. She was one who you couldn't tell was pregnant at the time just by looking at her and she hid it well. My father would have had her have an abortion but at seven months it was too late and he forced her to put the baby up for adoption. He was to remarry and his new wife would not marry him unless she did. That marriage lasted a good year:thumbup:. It was a very difficult time in our family as we had already experienced the passing of our mother who left behind five wonderful children and now our baby sister had a baby and we were at a loss ourselves as her siblings as to what to do for her. She gave up that baby boy who she named Michael on 4/1/78 and it was the hardest thing she's ever gone through in her life. I still call her every 4/1 just to say hi because I know she has a hole in her heart that will never mend. I know giving that baby up for adoption had helped another couple that couldn't conceive but still if she had been able to come forward and let us know she was pregnant at an earlier time I do believe it would have been easier on her emotionally to have aborted the fetus. I know most of you think that's a terrible thing to say but I have no part in that baby's life, man's life actually, never contacted her and it was left open for him to come forward if he ever wanted to contact his birth mother. People can look successful on the outside but be destroyed on the inside and you don't always know. I wish her life had started out differently :thumbup: brandyII.

BJean, what a sad story! I know they're two different issues but it kind of reminds me of the old view the Catholic Church had when the life of the mother or baby were in danger during delivery you were to save the life of the baby over the mother's. I always thought of this as barbaric and a typical patriarchal religious view.

Big T you crack me up!

I've always been a sagger and my husband loves me when I was thin and sagging and fat and sagging. I know it's all in our heads most of the time. I know a lot of people who lose weight after WLS go through a kind of depression because they've worked so hard to lose the weight and then they still hate their bodies because of the sagging skin! It's so sad, but who's to say that you can't wear a sexy teddy or other type of sexy thing to bed with a man and if you care for each other enough that saggy skin is not going to come between you guys. Well you know what I mean, lol. I know there's always plastic surgery but I myself, at this point in my life am not going to have the cash nor do I want to go through the pain, but that's just me. I've never been perky and probably never will be, brandyII:smile:

Is the Sam's club fish boxed up or in the fish department?

I didn't notice Callie looked pregnant but I guess she and Rose could go through it together, maybe everyone will be pregnant in the fall except for that bitchy new surgeon, what's her face who is not Callie's baby's daddy!

So true, so true, the way he's been waiting they're probably going to have quads! I know that doesn't make sense but just go with it, lol, brandyII.

Wow BJean, You were able to express it in a way I wish I could. That was beautifully written, insightful and extremely sincere!!!! Thanks brandyII.

Northwest_Nance, That's so true, all of my doctors prior to surgery were very concerned about it too and I probably quit close to 20 years ago also. Kind of scary in a way isn't it? I always thought once you quit it reversed a lot of the bad pretty quickly but now I'm not positive if it's true or not.

He doesn't have to have sex with Rose again, she's probably already carrying their love child! And Meredith will just politely step away and let them be together and I won't watch it because I'll be really pissed again!

It's been so rough out there I was contemplating looking into some of my daughter's spell books:scared2:

BJean, Where the heck have you been! You're not allowed to take time off! LOL brandyII.:biggrin: spell check

I had quit years before my surgery but my daughter was still smoking and they wanted it stopped six weeks prior to surgery that was their rule. Good luck, I know it can't be easy, brandyII.:biggrin:

There are reasons why people change from spanking households to non-spanking households. When you're raised in a violent home and found it to be very stressful and disturbing the last thing you want to do is raise your "babies" in that same type of atmosphere. I think in some ways I'm super sensitive to it so you'll have to forgive me. I just could never spank my kids. It's not that I was beaten by any means but I just like the peacefulness that our home has. Does that make sense? I'm trying to be honest about it. brandyII.

Well as I said before, I'm not Dr. Phil's biggest fan but I knew his opinions on the matter so I used some of his wisdom. I'm not going to argue it anymore because it's futile in my opinion. We all come here from different backgrounds and types of families and when you've been raised in one of alcoholism/chaos/violence you tend to be more sensitive to it, brandyII.

I'm lucky that I've never really had to make the tough decision a lot of women have had to make and not lightly. But as far as I know abortion is still legal in the United States and I don't think anyone should take away a woman's right to her own body! brandyII

Celexa is one I'm not familiar with, I guess everyone has their own combo that works. Have they affected you at all with your weight loss? brandyII.

Part of my extensive pre-op testing was testing in the pulmonary department of the hospital and I don't know what they called that breathing test but I could never get to the point I was supposed to and then when they do the blood test to see the oxygen level in your blood mine was too low which started a whole new thing where I had to meet with a pulmonologist who said I needed a sleep study which I did and was found to have many apneas during the night. But I got the clues I needed it prior at the hospital. My daughter passed all her pulm tests and had a sleep study prior to her preop for surgery and found that she's a snorer who has disrupted sleep but not apneas. So I don't know if that would have counted toward her comorbids or not but her BMI was high enough so wasn't necessary. Some clues to having sleep apnea besides snoring can be headaches during the day and usually you're pretty darn tired because you lack a good quality of sleep.

I do remember my daughter being on ambilfy and have a bad reaction. I may say something to my nurse practitioner about xanax because I think the clonapin maybe slowing my metab down a bit and I've reduced to once a day prior to bed. I posted about a depression program I watched and a drug to counteract the weight gain on "struggling lap bandsters" under "lap band complications" and am curious to see if anything comes up there about a drug I read about called zonegran or zonisamide. thanks brandyII

Apples2, Just wondering if your son was able to get treatment for his PTSD since he's been home. I know there is a stigma associated with psychiatric disorders especially in the military but I also know that it's probably something that should be treated professionally. Also, last Thanksgiving I went with my husband to Arlington Cemetery to visit his father's grave, he had passed away in 1966. I know it's off the track a bit but it was such a beautiful place and it was so touching being there. I had gone there before about 20 years ago prior to moving from that area but just never remembered what a majestic and moving place it really was. If anyone ever gets a chance to visit Wash. D.C. make sure you go to Arlington Cemetery. We're lucky because we have a special pass to drive to his grave site but there could be a lot of walking involved. brandyII.

That was funny Fanny, brandyII.

wantsobad, I wish I was one who suffered those types of side effects but my other med, the clonapin slows down my metabolism, who knows what the combo does. I also sufferer from sexual side effects but sometimes a glass of wine helps! Normally I don't drink much, unless I have company or out socially but when it comes to sex I may need a glass of something to get things moving again even though alcohol can add to the delay also! What we do for sanity:rolleyes2: I watched a show last night, 2 hours on PBS on depression and it also dealt with manic depression (bipolar), postpartum, depression in the elderly, children, teenagers and suicide and was really informative. They've located centers in the brain and for some people they've actually put in some type of pace maker to assist in helping them with depression. I'm not a brainiac by any means but it's a relief to know that they're learning so much more and that we are all so different when it comes to treatment and how long it can sometimes take to get the right mix of drugs working. This one man was taking a cocktail of drugs you wouldn't believe but he's finally found the right mix! Also the stigma attached to anxiety and depression is still there and I've found that in my own life and have suffered for it. They say just talking about it really helps and its true. Sometimes there's shame involved and they say it's a medical condition, if we had some other brain disorder like a tumor we wouldn't be ashamed to talk of it but with anxiety and depression etc... we still are somewhat. I believe in someways it has taken a roll in my failure with the band, not just the meds but my anxiety levels and depression in general and I would be nice to be able to overcome that one day:thumbup:brandyII

Julie asked for some and I listed some info from a professional and suggested she search out some books and other materials on other methods to use other than spanking. I know spanking is a much easier solution when it comes to discipline but sometimes you have to sit back and look at the whole picture.:rolleyes2:

Wow behamgal, that's a lot for anyone to handle. I hope they're short lived too. Most people I know that have them like you do, do seem to get them under control sooner or later. It sounds like you have a great support system in place and a great attitude and just remember it's just like any other illness that needs to be treated and don't fall in the guilt trap that I always did! Take care brandyII.

Well to be truthful after 27 years together and at my age, and on my meds it was a nice break!:thumbup: