brandyII

I also think it's a little more complicated than dividing us into two groups "lovers and haters". I think we all entered into surgery with the same expectations of losing weight. Well for some of us it worked out a little better and easier than for others. We all want the same thing weight loss and good health. Unfortunately it's not working out as we all had liked but I don't think because we need to chat and work out the issues doesn't mean we're band haters. It's good for people to be informed on all aspects of the band before they choose this as their WLS. One size does not fit all and many things affect our rates of weight loss with the band, sex, age, size, diabetes, PCOS, addiction, depression, medications and many more. Saying eat less and exercise more does not work for all people or we'd all be thin now wouldn't we? I think a lot of people are more afraid to hear others are not doing well because they're afraid it maybe contagious. You may not be able to relate to those types of people having problems with the band but don't call us haters because we're not we're strugglers and tryers and attempters but not haters:thumbup:

I tend to go on the side of unfill especially if you can't drink liquids comfortably, it may change and get worse. If you can't hold down any liquids get back there asap and get it taken out before you hurt yourself. I've notice with only 2 ccs out of 10cc band I still have a hard time eating dry proteins like chicken breast but most other foods I can eat without much of a problem. My surgeon or PA will put in other increments other than a full cc and I'm going Thursday afternoon after being unfilled for quite a while and am thinking of trying 1/2 a cc and think 1 full one might be too much and I don't want to start eating around the band again. Everyone is so different that's what's amazing about this fill situation. I'm not at a "sweet spot" yet either. I'm sure others will chime into this thread. Good luck brandyII.

That's great, I could kind of tell you were doing better and a good person to chime in here as you could probably add some words of wisdom as you did. I could relate to that doing too much person at one time also and now I'm almost the opposite! And it doesn't hurt either, lol. Take care brandyII.

benhamgal, are you doing better now? You sound like it.

I didn't know if you were medicated for it already. I guess I was the opposite because I kind of was excited about after the surgery but then went a bit down.......hill when I wasn't doing as well as I had hoped. Not that you'd go through that but I'm just explaining why my depression got worse. Anyway good luck and take care, you'll get better but I'm glad you're going to talk to your doctor.

Have you ever been treated or diagnosed with anxiety or depression? I don't know if it goes hand in hand or not but I know some people can suffer from anxiety or depression after surgery. I'd speak to your doctor about it.

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Thanks Rsg, She's been pretty tired but I supposed that's to be expected. She sees her PA on Thursday and we have the same one so I'll see what they think of me! I think I may have lost a little weight but by then anything can happen. Anyway I appreciate your kind thoughts and words, and hope you're doing well, haven't seen you around much! brandyII.

I agree with you BJean and Aphrodite and Pearlygirl, you three are very sensible people and I can't believe you still have the energy to combat Gidge every time!

When do you go back to your surgeon? I'm sure those are things that you should discuss with him/her. I've never dealt with reflux myself so I can't relate to all those problems you're having in that area. I'm mostly constipated and still use benefiber. You seem to have lost a lot of weight so far so that's good. I know when you first have surgery you're swollen so that's why you don't need the fill right away and probably why the port site is still sore. Mine still gets sore every once in a while especially after a fill. I can feel my port quite easily and it's been over 9 months since my surgery. Anyway if you think these physical problems are not normal I'd just call and check, it can't hurt? Good luck to you though, I consider myself to be on the older end of the age scale and I'm 48, lol! Wasn't Jane Fonda hot at 50? Take care brandyII:smile: PS: I love your avatar it's so cute!

Just curious but if you were at a good restriction than how did you avoid vomiting or pbing when you overate? Or was the overeating the slider foods? It can be just as hard after the surgery as it was before the surgery for a lot of us but it sounds like you've got your head on straight now and good luck to you. We're all different and when you find what works for you then you can start losing again, good luck brandyII!

No, but I want to know why I don't get numbed first!

Fifty pounds lost is still fifty pounds lost! I know you're probably scared to have any fill taken out at this point but if you're having trouble swallowing and hoping that starving yourself is the answer I don't think it's the healthiest way to do it. I would really discuss this with your doctor and tell them about your frustration and ask them what they think should be your next step. Being over filled can cause weight gain. I'm not an expert on the actual losing part and I'm sure there are more people out there that can help you with that aspect but I do know that the softer foods "sliders" will not help you lose weight and that the Protein and healthy foods (low carb, high Fiber non-processed foods) are what your body needs and if you're too tight to eat them it's not doing you any good. I think it takes longer for some of us to know where the right spot is and I'm still working on it myself, brandyII.

Wow sounds like your daughter is doing really well. My daughter is about the same weight but is six feet tall so may want to stop around 200 lbs. We were worried this morning because she had vomited some in the sink after her first drink of Water. It was about 6AM and called the service and they said to wait a while and try some warm liquid and she's been fine. It's so different than our surgery and because it's my daughter naturally I worry more because mine was a breeze! Anyway I understand you not wanting her to do it, I felt the same way but I felt my daughter really wanted to go this route and since insurance was covering it still since she's a student I figured it may be her only chance That's great that you went to the support groups with her and all. I guess it's just one more bond between mother and daughter. Congrats on the grandbaby too! thanks for sharing Nancy.

Boo Boo Kitty, I won't comment anymore on the spanking issue, I've stated all I care to about the matter, I will let it die a natural death but am sure the thread will pop up again as they normally do and from now on will try to resist the temptation to make a further posting. I can see that you've had to deal with a difficult situation that a lot of parents deal with these days, I've assisted in classes with children diagnosed with ADD ADHD and so on and also with emotionally disturbed children in elementary schools. I know they can be difficult but we were trained how to deal with them in a classroom situation which of course would never lead to spanking, not in my state at least. This is between you and your child. I do believe in setting limits and in discipline but in a different way. We agree to disagree. I only brought up the term "socialist" because of many comments I got about people coming in and saying no one has the right to tell them how to discipline their children and the State coming in or the Federal Government's involvement. And it appears that when someone believes that spanking should be made illegal it can thought of as a socialist type of view. Take care, brandyII, who is done with this thread, at least for now........

Probably because we've been told for so long and in so many ways that's we're "bad" for being fat!

My psych eval did not delve that deep. It goes hand in hand with being an adult child of an addict, it's normal and I'm sure you can work through those issues. Hey I still question everything and everyone's motives. I guess somethings are hard to change. But I can say that I've been married for over 25 years and lived with 27 years a great guy who I kind of picked because he was a kind man and he's really a great father. It still baffles me because I really didn't know what it was like to see a great father but he really is and my kids are really fortunate. With this surgery you will certainly have a new life and it will still be full of challenges and some wonderful moments. Just make sure you keep up with some type of therapy along the way because it's not always easy dealing with all the new issues you can face with your same head but new body. There maybe an adjustment phase or phases. But you have some wonderful things ahead of you to look forward to and which you deserve!

No probs, you shouldn't have to live in fear, just make sure you have a good support system in place for yourself!!!

I know it's hard. I'm still on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds and they help a lot. I wish I had been on them when I was your age I might have been better off. You deserve a big pat on the back for surviving a hellish life. I guess that's why I wanted to make sure my own kids didn't have to go through the same shit that I went through and why I sometimes can be a bit of a hard ass on people when they talk about kids and I'm there saying no to spanking etc... I didn't want my kids growing up in fear the way I did and still do suffer from. I maybe a bit over zealous too:ohmy: I tend to be more compassionate towards people who grew up with similar chaotic backgrounds because I was taught not to discuss it and keep it in or the secrets etc... and now I can finally express myself and it helps to talk about it and get it out in the open and to advocate for others who suffer as I have or you have. So if you even need someone to talk to I'm here, take care brandyII.

Froggie, You're still young, and sometimes it takes time to get over stuff. My dad just died two years ago and when he died I took a sigh of relief although I loved him because he was my father he caused me many, many years of emotional grief that no one needs in their life. I went through a lot of therapy to help me get through it. I'm a sensitive person, as you can probably tell from my posts. Just remember to get help for yourself, you're worth it. It can be very difficult to get the bad messages out of your head that they've put in there, take care brandyII. One who grew up in an alcoholic household and still feels the aftershocks!

froggi, I'm sorry you grew up in such a shitty household no one deserves that. Mine wasn't perfect but yours made mine sound idealic! brandyII

Still believe in education, maybe a bit idealistic in some people's views but I can dream:closedeyes: of a better kinder world:thumbup:

I liked the song and the video, my daughter saw him in Ireland a year ago.

Okay, we'll agree to disagree on the fact that spanking is abuse but there are those of us to choose other means of disciplining children over spanking. We can use drunk driving as an example. We can also agree that driving under the influence is against the law in the US, whatever the blood alcohol level is over the amount that is permitted. In the US it may different state to state but there are also consistencies. I personally do not know how much is too much for me to drink. I've never been pulled over for a DWI and if I had been drinking would not know if one drink, two drinks, three drinks would send me over the permitted amount. So when I drive I choose not to drink as I would be avoiding breaking any laws or hurting anyone while driving under the influence. Since I was a teenager the laws have become much stricter and I am more compliant when it comes to following those laws. It makes me think before I drive and drink. Now there are those of us who would think before we drove and drank but there are always those of us who choose not to follow the law and will drink and drive and possibly hurt or kill someone. I find it similar with spanking. Which I am singling out and this was a discussion on spanking, not any other form of abuse. That's a whole other topic which I think we can all agree those types of abuse are against the law and are wrong for many, many reasons. If spanking were against the law in the US there would be those that would stop and not spank and use a different means. Possibly there would be an educational type program put in place to educate people on how to discipline their children when the need occurred. An example would be drunk driving and prom night and how they educate the high school kids on not driving and drinking and also the D.A.R.E programs in the elementary schools. So they are reaching out and teaching our children at a young age not for fun but because it's a problem and it's needed. There will always be people who drink and drive even if there is a law but there are those who it will reach and they will think about it as I myself have. If I hadn't learned other methods other than spanking my children I probably would have spanked and not even thought twice about it. There are always those that take it too far but why not educate them now and hopefully they will relate the fact that what they do to their child now can have consequences down the line. Maybe they don't know enough when to stop or how hard to hit and they cross the line just like someone who drinks and drives may not know how much is too many and cross the line and drink too much. In each circumstance someone crosses the line and could possible injure or kill another person. Just something to think about. I think children have the right not to be hit even if it is by a loving parent and I don't believe it makes my view to be a socialist view.

The "adults" who are in prison are able to understand, hopefully, what they are being punished for. Some are animals and I don't think spanking them would work, and we're basically punishing them that way and keeping the rest of us safe from them by putting them in prison. That's a whole different topic, (can o'worms) I'm speaking on behalf of "the children" and those that think they don't cross the line because they don't know how to parent. There need to be laws to protect all children. While you may be the perfect spanker parent there may be other parents who have no idea what they're doing so in order to protect their children you must suffer. Does that make sense. You are "giving" in order for abused children to be protected. There are some pretty stupid people out there who have no idea of what they're doing when it comes to parenting. They don't all sit their kids down and discuss what they did wrong before a little tap and it's those kids that need protection and I don't know if there is enough manpower to go through each case on a child to child basis. It's for the 2 year old whose mother's boyfriend bashed his head in while playing a video game because he was crying. Better to just pass a law to make it illegal just to protect the ones that are abused than do as we're doing now which obviously is not working. So if a law is passed and I do believe there will be one in our future, you will be able to say to yourself I gave up spanking my child in order to protect the abused children in our country and it will make you feel better in the end, no pun intended. brandyII.