brandyII

Fanny, If I were to wear heels it would kill me!!!!! If you were to see me on an average day I'm in shorts, even though I live up north and socks and if I go out it's jeans and sneaks. I've always loved pants, shorts anything but a dress. I do the makeup thing only because I'm so fair my skin is translucent but not as beautiful as Marilyn Monroe's was! My hair is naturally curly so I have to "tame" it in various ways. It's much thinner now than it was when I was younger. I had three older brothers so maybe that's part of it but I was never a "delicate little flower". Nancy:lol:

MacM, You crack me up:lol:

:incazzato::driving::huggie::sad::tt2:

Froggie, I believe you took something I said kind of out of context. I was discussing this with another fellow bandster whose daughter also had the RNY surgery. We both have that in common and it was nice to have someone to share the fears and excitement for my daughter with. Her daughter had the surgery a few years ago and is doing well and also had a baby since so it was good news to me. I'm not going to argue with you over this as I know you're excited to have the surgery. It's not a competition over who is better bypass or lap band, both are major decisions although one surgery is more major than the other. I don't know what I would have done if my daughter were given the lap band and it not work out as she had hoped, it would have been devastating to both of us:frown:. You chose the lap band so naturally you don't want to see any one say anything negative and that's understandable, it's like someone telling you your kid is bad in a way. Anyway I'm kind of going through both surgeries in a way because of my daughter and myself so it's a different experience. My daughter is almost 30 years my junior and doing very well so far in her short journey and has a much more disciplined manner that I don't have! I on the other hand have much more experience in other ways and also more health issues along with my age which include physical and emotional that I am dealing with in order to accomplish my original goal of weight loss. I'm coming to terms with my issues and hope that may work in my favor in the end, take care and good luck and health to you Froggie and I know how exciting this time is for you:smile: brandyII.

Jaime, I've very happy for you that this is working the way you wanted it to. That's wonderful and no I don't have chocolate in the house at the moment but if I have a really bad craving I know where my car keys are. Circumstances lately have been such that there had been more junk type foods in the house because I had visitors. No biggy, but no lossy. Anyway we're all very different and I'm almost 20 years older than you and in those 20 years I have yo yo'd a bit more than you I'm afraid. I am looking at this with a new perspective now and I feel good about it. I am not dieting but that doesn't mean I won't lose weight now and may lose weight now and keep it off. It's called learning to accept myself as I am and not fight with myself anymore over my weight. It's taken me quite a while to reach this point and it maybe the best thing I have ever done, good luck to you and all of us, brandyII.

It's what I've done for the past 9 months and Jachut and Athinnerdenise have explained it to a "T"!

Thanks Fanny, I appreciate your support from down under, I know I get a bit crazy now and again but I think I've had a break through, knock on wood!!!! brandyII:cool2:

My 19 year old daughter had gastric bypass about two weeks ago and so you don't have to tell me about the risks, I have to deal with my own flesh and blood going through it and all the worries I'll have for quite a while. So if I pass on watching a video right now on someone's bad gastric bypass I hope you don't hate me! We all take risks and hopefully have made the right choice for ourselves when it comes to WLS. I am no different than anyone else except that I'm not doing as well but I'm still trying. If anyone knows it's not easy it's me or my ticker would have moved more than a fricken 3 pounds. OK I change that, it did move over 20 pounds but in the wrong direction. I'm assuming we've all screwed up on diets in the past or we wouldn't have gotten this surgery. What's to say that we still won't now? A band around my belly is my tool now and I'm still trying to get it to work for me and me for it. If I don't I'm the one who has to live with the consequences. Not you or my surgeon or anyone but me. Is it diet or die trying, no I think I will go on as I have for the last twenty years as a pleasantly plump large boned woman who is kind and funny, loves her husband and her children and her animals and had a pretty face when she was 20. There is a point where I will have to stop and admit defeat though but it doesn't mean my life is over and I'm not a worthy human being, especially being a female in a society where fat is considered unacceptable and ugly and probably contageous!

You know I really understand where you're coming from you remind me of my two brothers who are in their fifties and exercise because it allows them to eat what they want, not that they eat junk but they burn so many calories with their fitness routines they have to feed their bodies more food every day. But it's also a passion for them and actually always has been since they were young. One races bikes and one runs and will run marathons and both have or do teach martial arts. I've never had that passion and probably never will. I can find passion in walking but not running I'm not built for that and even when I was thin I hated it! I like hiking things like but I'm not a competitor not even within myself if you catch my drift. I know it would be easier if I could do it that way but I just don't want to. But the focus on the diet thing has screwed me up not just now, since I've been banded but even before that. It's very mental and more so now. I'm trying to eat normal and not think about it as being on a diet so I don't go overboard to try to feed the angry beast! I'm going to at least try and I'm going to go to a new Lap Band support group that my surgeon's office is starting this Monday and they're focusing on psychological issues and addictions so I think/hope it will benefit me. Anyway I applaud you because I know it's not easy what you're doing but I just can't be as passionate about that aspect as you and a lot of people are. Thanks Nancy.

Well eating a little piece of chocolate may not do it for me, I have certain trigger foods that I just can't keep in the house. It may have something to do with my hormones during times of the month or my antidepressants or just my makeup. If you can function that way that's wonderful but not everyone is that strong for many reasons. I don't know if I would get an RNY at this point in my life now anyway and it's not proven whether or not everyone has dumping syndrome. There's is the malabsorption aspect to it that helps with weight loss and some do get dumping syndrome which supposedly is not something that one enjoys. If you are the type of person that eats a whole lot of food and have restriction with the lap band then it should work fine for you. If on the other hand you have a really slow metabolism after years of yo yo dieting and are at a certain age and have other issues that may affect how successful you will be on the band it may not work as well. I don't know how to explain it any better but not everyone will do well on the band whether or not you want to say they are not doing enough of the work is up to you to decide????

It's also refreshing to see that Obama is not taking money from lobbyests now also! I admit I didn't read all the posts but some of them were a bit annoying and so I skimmed a bit, brandyII.

Imaducky, What do you know of certain astrological signs and weight issues. I've read that Taurus and Cancer have issues with weight gain, do you know anything about that? brandyII, (:smile:not looking for another excuse)

That's funny Fanny, the "naughty bench" I can't imagine you on the "naughty bench".

Actually I think it's for their own protection that the men have their own room, we women can get pretty darn scary sometimes!!!!

See Fanny, This is why I married an engineer, he can read me the directions and actually figure them out for me too! When it comes to patterns and such since I never actually took a class in sewing it can become mind blowing to me. I haven't sewn from a pattern since my girls were little but I did always attempt to make their Halloween costumes every year! brandyII And to quote the Scottish Inn Keeper from Little Britain Fanny, "you know, too much!"

I wish you luck! brandyII:smile:

I guess I don't react well to the phrase "it's not a diet but a way of life or a life change" I still have problems with that because it doesn't give specifics. Some people can say that but they're actually following a diet plan and they've been able to make it a part of their life their new way of life. Others cannot function that way so for me I need specifics. If I were to tell myself I have to follow A, B and C in order to lose weight I would do A and then say screw B and C goes down the toilet. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the only one who doesn't function well but when I'm told I can't eat chocolate today I will focus on how the hell I'm going to get chocolate. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. That's why for me right now I have to just accept myself as I am and see what beauty comes with it with out restricting myself. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband and children and some great siblings so a great life isn't that too far off.

froggi, girls post in the guys room all the time. It's a bold move but they do it! I guess I know because I've gone there.

You're lucky you were able to do that from the start with the band. I started out that way thinking I wouldn't need to "diet" because the band was going to restrict my intake of food but things didn't work out that way and now I've got to take control over my life in general and not focus so much on my band screw-ups and failures and just be happy as I am and hopefully get to a healthier place inside and out again!

I'm sure it's partly due to my personality flaws but the thought of a life coach scares the bejeebies out of me! I know what they are and serve a great purpose but I'm such a small step kind of person that if I jump into something major like a life coach it might send me off into the deep end. I know it's very anti-lap band but I've actually seen other books written by fat women on accepting their bodies. It's all relative, there are just as many thin women or "average" size women/men who still have body image issues but as a fat woman I was taught that it was not only unhealthy to be fat but I was not an acceptable human being in our society and in my own society. This self loathing spiraled into a major health crisis for me as I've yo yo'd dieted for almost 40 years and now have very little self worth or metabolism left. I'm only 48 and I don't want to live the rest of my life out feeling this way and so far I've found ways to mask it but not to actually fix it. Thanks though maybe I'd be ready to look at the website a little further down the road, thanks brandyII.

Jack recommended that book also I guess I should check it out. thanks brandy:smile: PS I just checked it out it seems like something that might interest me, thanks. I don't know why but I started thinking about the book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" It's not going to go over my head is it?

Molly, Are you saying that accepting yourself kept you fat longer? I think different people have different experiences with being fat. Some are completely negative and some are positive. I am a very sensitive person in general and every negative comment about my fatness I can probably count on both hands but they still haunt me no matter how long ago they were made. And I think fat is like money there's new money and old money and there's new fat and grew up fat. Although I grew up with a very negative self image because fat was so negative in my family and my surroundings that I told myself I would never put that on my own two children but they got it anyway because of my own self image was so poor because of my fatness not due to anything else. Ok, I always hated having curly hair, but other than that it was my whole persona. One daughter just had gastric bypass and the other lives her life to the fullest as a full figured young woman with a full life. Two totally different stories. I know neither is "happy" with being fat but one chose one route and the other chose another and has more self confidence, thank God! Don't mean to ramble on so much about it but it helps. thanks brandyII:smile:

I wish I could give you some advice, my doctor only asked me the things I've tried before. I didn't have documentation of going to WW or OA or anything that involved group meetings. It's pretty insane how drastic the requirements are for people. Do you have any co-morbs, that's usually what my insurance wanted. Diabetes II, BMI of 40, sleep apnea, any muscle or back issues, knees, anything physically that you have documented or could document. A lot of times I think it has something to do with the way the doctor words things also. Anyway I wish you luck and wish there was something I could do to help. You have as much right to be on this board as anyone does. I wish I had gone to this board prior to my surgery! Take care brandyII:smile:

I put too much pressure on myself and always have about dieting as it started when I was a little girl with my mother always hounding me about my food intake. I was the first girl after three older brothers and probably was competing for food at the table! Every time I have dieted I have screwed up my health mentally and physically. My self worth was based upon my size and my metabolism went down the toilet. I never had a legit doctor prescribe me diet pills "black beauties, yellow jackets", as there were always willing participants to take my money in college! I went to an amazing jr. college for a while and I remember there was a lounge area that the "partiers" hung out at and the college administrators walked by as we did all sorts of illegal substances out in the open, you name it I did it too, pretty amazing times back then. Anyway with the help of others (including professionals) I am trying to come to terms with this as this is my last hope? I attempted this same surgery, well actually it was to be an RNY, about 3 years ago and had to postpone it and after postponing it for family issues I actually started taking off weight and lost about 20 25 pounds, smallest I had been in years actually. I then said to myself hey maybe I don't need the surgery. Then much stress and every day occurrences happened as they normally do and it came back on, so 2 years later back in the surgeon's office. So as a person who grew up fat, and had lost 100+ lbs twice in her life and gained it back again I need to find inner peace to be happy with myself as a fat person because that's what I am. So whether I am able to lose it or not on the lap band I need to be happy with myself. This is so important because my weaknesses and personality and emotional makeup did not change as a thin person and kept going back to being fat. So by focusing on the diet and by freaking out about my fatness and hatred of my fatness and hating myself I was not able to lose weight and if did gained it back. If I can't love myself or be secure enough in my skin now I'll never get to a better place in my life. Does that make sense? Anyone else feel this way too or have been there besides Jack. And no I am not pmsing or drinking:wink2: brandyII

I've decided that by focusing too much on my lap band and the diet and what I'm eating and when I'm eating and what I shouldn't be eating is sabotaging anything that the lap band can or will do for me. I'm going to stop worrying about it and live a "normal" life! If that means I lose weight great if it doesn't so be it. I will exercise for health reasons as it helps with depression and diabetes. I will try to be more active just for the pleasure in it. When I focus on my "diet" I always end up screwing it up and feeling like I'm depriving myself and then I do anything to add those extra calories. It's totally wrong and I'm not going to do it anymore. It's an added pressure I put on myself and it backfires and has backfired most of my life unless assisted with the aid of illegal diet pills or cigarettes and I don't want to take them anymore either. I will focus on loving myself and building my self esteem rather than knocking myself for being fat and not worthy of a life because of what the numbers say on the "GD" scale:cursing:. If I feel my band is too tight to accomplish this in a normal manner I will get some or all of my fill removed. Thanks for listening, brandyII:smile: