biginjapan

Did he do any Lipo?
I'm surprised at some of the childish and negative comments that people posted in here.
@@Spiceyfrog went out of her way to share some person and honest photos and a lot of the things that people posted in here are inappropriate. I admire Spiceyfrog for not tell you all to go to hell.

@@Dashofpixiedust8
You and I are close to the same age and we were almost exactly the same age when I was at the point you are at now. I completely understand how you feel, although I actually was somehow oblivious to my excess skin until I decided to get a boob job. I was fat and thin most of my life, so I guess I was used to being a little saggy. To be fair, I've never been super comfortable naked in front of men, but I somewhat messed around with one guy who I was good friends with about 20 pounds from goal, and at the time I don't remember feeling self conscious about my excess skin. In hindsight, I cringe thinking about what I must have looked like, but he has never once commented on it, and while granted he didn't get laid in the deal and we were mostly just drunk and better off friends, and he cared about me as a person first, I don't get the impression that it was a deal breaker.
Despite this though, like I said, I was clueless about my extra skin until I decided to get my boobs done. Then I looked at about a billion plastic surgery pictures, particularly those of tummy tucks and I was like....oh wow, I could look like that? Well, three surgeries later, the only place where you can still sort of see I was once fat is my thighs because I had a groin incision thigh lift instead of the full thigh surgery. I had NO IDEA I could have tight skin and it has done wonders for the way I feel about myself. Guess what though? I'm still not really comfortable being seen naked. I've only dated one person since I've been at goal and he never once said anything about my surgery scars or anything to indicate he didn't find me attractive naked, but I preferred sex in the dark, or the light was fine as long as I could blindfold him. He played along like a good sport, but in hindsight, I do wonder if even with all of the surgery I've had, if I will ever be able to really feel comfortable naked, or if it's just something that is a byproduct of years of understanding that, while I have a lot of good qualities, being hot naked simply wasn't one of them.
As such, while I completely understand your concerns, even when you lose excess skin, while I gained a lot of confidence in clothing, I wouldn't say I'm excited to get naked in front of someone, and I don't feel like amongst most women our age and older (and even a little younger), even those who have never been fat, there is total confidence in their appearance. Sometimes you just have to fake it, and the better able you are to appear confident in your own skin, no matter what it happens to look like, the less anyone else is going to recognize it as being something they should care about.

What an incredibly smart comment. And totally correct.
Here is what I've observed in others and even with me:
At first, when you're losing and feel so in control of things, you get almost evangelical about weight loss and healthy habits. You feel like you have the tiger by the tail, so why shouldn't others go the same route you did to lose weight and be healthy? You want to take aside every fat person you see and recommend WLS. And sometimes, it's shameful to say, you even may look on them with disgust.
As time goes on and people settle in to their new way of life and they really start to understand the struggle it is to continue to lose or maintain what you've lost even with WLS, you tend to soften a little and actually feel empathy for them, because we know how hard it is, with or without WLS. I no longer feel the need to reach out to them anymore and talk about WLS, though, because I think they know they are obese, and only when they are good and ready will they do anything about it. Just like all of us did.

This is a good question. In the interest of answering honestly, be advised, I'm an a**hole, so don't be offended please.
As a woman who has nearly killed myself (literally) to reach a point where I am now, I would not date a fat man. Keep in mind, I'm not talking about a guy who is thick, but someone who is actually obese. It has nothing to do with thinking they are not a good person and everything to do with the fact that I did what I needed to do to look the way I do and to be healthy. I work really hard to stay this size and if I am constantly around someone who eats like crap and doesn't have the same activities that I do, first I don't think it would work and second, I feel like I wouldn't be doing myself any favors. Also, here's where the jerk part comes in, frankly I'm not attracted to it. Again, nothing to do with what kind of person they are and everything to do with what interests me. I'm not attracted to really thin guys, super short guys, overly muscular guys (like body builders) and blonde guys (and come on there are some hot blonde guys). A certain body type within a certain range of features is what I am attracted to, and just like anyone else, if the personality that comes attached to that body type is crappy, well that kills it for me too. We can't control what attracts us to other people or what doesn't, and while some people have told me I'm shallow (which may very well be true), I'm honest enough with myself to know that certain things are never going to do it for me.
Therefore, as it relates to dating, I'm just not into big dudes. As it relates to overweight people in general, I don't really have an opinion. My sister is very large and she is the kindest, most thoughtful, big hearted person I know, and God help anyone if they were mean to her because she is larger. I don't really notice fat and thin people in ordinary life- they're just people, living a life, just like me, and deserve exactly the same amount of kindness, respect, and when necessary, a solid smack down, as exactly everyone else of every size.

Like others have said, I feel compassion and I feel empathy. I wish I could share what's worked for me, but I know it likely won't be well received by someone who isn't ready for it.
I think as far as choosing a partner, too much emphasis in our society is put on "falling in love" (way too easy to fall OUT of love) and not in selecting a life companion. You chose a companion based on shares values, outlooks, beliefs, lifestyles, etc. i think it would be hard for me, were I selecting a life companion today, to chose one who was obese because our values and lifestyles would be too different. It would have nothing to do with my feelings about the person and their worth/heart/etc.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

@@logen000
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your fiance and extended family. However, if they can't support you now, maybe it's better not to have such negative people in your life when you are going through such a life-changing experience. Focus on you, get the support you need from your family or online, and you'll get through it. As others have mentioned, stop letting other people's opinions influence your life - you are important, and you know what's best for you.
If you haven't already seen it, Clusie L has a great video on YouTube about being young and wanting weight loss surgery and how she kept putting it off because of other people's opinions. Which led to it affecting her college experience, her jobs, her bad marriages, etc. And then of course having to deal with the bad relationships because she couldn't hide behind food anymore to cope with it. Hopefully it will make you feel better about wanting the surgery. (it certainly makes me feel better, although I'm considerably older than she is!)

Over and over and over, people in the early post-op period ask "CAN I eat _______?". That blank is filled with all kinds of things, like pizza, chips, ice cream, fried chicken, funnel cakes, crab cakes, steak...whatever they're craving.

The answer to every. single. one. of those questions is YES. Once you're surgically cleared to resume a full diet, you CAN eat ANYTHING. You didn't have your jaw wired shut or have your teeth pulled, so yes, you CAN eat all foods.
The real question you need to ask yourself is "SHOULD I eat ________?". The only person who can answer the "SHOULD" question for you is YOU. I, or anyone else here, can give your my opinion on eating funnel cakes, chips and pizza after having most of your stomach removed to help you lose weight, but only you can decide to eat it or not eat it.
So coming here and asking "CAN I?" questions is kind of disingenuous, as all of the answers you get are going to be answering the REAL question, which is "SHOULD I?". Think about that before you get defensive and angry about the answers you get from successful vets who are 2-5+ years out and maintaining successfully.

@@logen000
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your fiance and extended family. However, if they can't support you now, maybe it's better not to have such negative people in your life when you are going through such a life-changing experience. Focus on you, get the support you need from your family or online, and you'll get through it. As others have mentioned, stop letting other people's opinions influence your life - you are important, and you know what's best for you.
If you haven't already seen it, Clusie L has a great video on YouTube about being young and wanting weight loss surgery and how she kept putting it off because of other people's opinions. Which led to it affecting her college experience, her jobs, her bad marriages, etc. And then of course having to deal with the bad relationships because she couldn't hide behind food anymore to cope with it. Hopefully it will make you feel better about wanting the surgery. (it certainly makes me feel better, although I'm considerably older than she is!)

@@logen000
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your fiance and extended family. However, if they can't support you now, maybe it's better not to have such negative people in your life when you are going through such a life-changing experience. Focus on you, get the support you need from your family or online, and you'll get through it. As others have mentioned, stop letting other people's opinions influence your life - you are important, and you know what's best for you.
If you haven't already seen it, Clusie L has a great video on YouTube about being young and wanting weight loss surgery and how she kept putting it off because of other people's opinions. Which led to it affecting her college experience, her jobs, her bad marriages, etc. And then of course having to deal with the bad relationships because she couldn't hide behind food anymore to cope with it. Hopefully it will make you feel better about wanting the surgery. (it certainly makes me feel better, although I'm considerably older than she is!)

@@logen000
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your fiance and extended family. However, if they can't support you now, maybe it's better not to have such negative people in your life when you are going through such a life-changing experience. Focus on you, get the support you need from your family or online, and you'll get through it. As others have mentioned, stop letting other people's opinions influence your life - you are important, and you know what's best for you.
If you haven't already seen it, Clusie L has a great video on YouTube about being young and wanting weight loss surgery and how she kept putting it off because of other people's opinions. Which led to it affecting her college experience, her jobs, her bad marriages, etc. And then of course having to deal with the bad relationships because she couldn't hide behind food anymore to cope with it. Hopefully it will make you feel better about wanting the surgery. (it certainly makes me feel better, although I'm considerably older than she is!)

@@logen000
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your fiance and extended family. However, if they can't support you now, maybe it's better not to have such negative people in your life when you are going through such a life-changing experience. Focus on you, get the support you need from your family or online, and you'll get through it. As others have mentioned, stop letting other people's opinions influence your life - you are important, and you know what's best for you.
If you haven't already seen it, Clusie L has a great video on YouTube about being young and wanting weight loss surgery and how she kept putting it off because of other people's opinions. Which led to it affecting her college experience, her jobs, her bad marriages, etc. And then of course having to deal with the bad relationships because she couldn't hide behind food anymore to cope with it. Hopefully it will make you feel better about wanting the surgery. (it certainly makes me feel better, although I'm considerably older than she is!)

@@logen000
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your fiance and extended family. However, if they can't support you now, maybe it's better not to have such negative people in your life when you are going through such a life-changing experience. Focus on you, get the support you need from your family or online, and you'll get through it. As others have mentioned, stop letting other people's opinions influence your life - you are important, and you know what's best for you.
If you haven't already seen it, Clusie L has a great video on YouTube about being young and wanting weight loss surgery and how she kept putting it off because of other people's opinions. Which led to it affecting her college experience, her jobs, her bad marriages, etc. And then of course having to deal with the bad relationships because she couldn't hide behind food anymore to cope with it. Hopefully it will make you feel better about wanting the surgery. (it certainly makes me feel better, although I'm considerably older than she is!)

I have had people tell me that I am taking the easy way out. My surgery isn't till the 16th. But I know that there is nothing about this that is easy. It is hard. Hard to stay on the liquid diet. Hard to make the decision. Just keep your head up and know that it is not about them. You are doing this for you. Sent from my SCH-I545 using the BariatricPal App

@@logen000
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your fiance and extended family. However, if they can't support you now, maybe it's better not to have such negative people in your life when you are going through such a life-changing experience. Focus on you, get the support you need from your family or online, and you'll get through it. As others have mentioned, stop letting other people's opinions influence your life - you are important, and you know what's best for you.
If you haven't already seen it, Clusie L has a great video on YouTube about being young and wanting weight loss surgery and how she kept putting it off because of other people's opinions. Which led to it affecting her college experience, her jobs, her bad marriages, etc. And then of course having to deal with the bad relationships because she couldn't hide behind food anymore to cope with it. Hopefully it will make you feel better about wanting the surgery. (it certainly makes me feel better, although I'm considerably older than she is!)

Thanks vsgvega!
As for Mexico, I had a few reasons to choose it over having the surgery done in Japan. First, although bariatric surgery is done in Japan, there are very few surgeons who specialise in it, which isn't surprising considering only 3.5% of the population is considered obese (at 30 BMI). My experience with Japanese doctors isn't very positive - they rarely tell you anything, and you have to push for more information. For example, my cholesterol is kind of high, but most doctors I go to tell me "not to worry about it." I sometimes have pain/pressure that feels like a hernia in my stomach area, but when I expressed my concern about it to my gastroenterologist, he told me to eat less (while tracing over my breasts where the stomach was - not appropriate!). I had minor surgery just over a year ago, and while the surgery results were fine, the post-op experience in the hospital was not. Also, Asian people (in general) are more sensitive to pain medication than non-Asians, so the meds here are not very strong. For pain killers, we are often given the equivalent of baby aspirin (I had that after surgery, so did a friend of mine who had a C-section). OTC meds, like Tylenol, are much stronger and more effective than anything they give me here (which I have to import, since they don't sell it here, or if they do it's hard to find - a former doctor of mine always brings some back with him after he goes to Europe, since even as a doctor, he can't get it here). Some suffering is expected at all times - I feel bad for patients with chronic diseases who are in constant pain because the doctors here won't give them anything stronger.
Another reason is insurance - with insurance it probably would have cost me at least $7000, without it, at least $25,000. So the cost of my surgery + the flight will be slightly more than if I had stayed in Japan (with insurance). But even if my insurance covered it, I would be reluctant to have the surgery since nothing is private here - since health insurance is provided by the company you work for, they know everything about you. We do health checks every year, and the company gets those results. Any operations or other procedures I get done - they know about it. The lack of privacy here is appalling, and for years I refused to do the health checks for that reason, but they're free and worth the information I get from them. But I'm keeping this surgery secret (for now) - I want to be the one who determines who knows about it.
So basically I'm going to Mexico because I want to deal with people who speak English, have a surgeon who has loads of experience, keep the surgery private, and also because, by flying to the States, I can also pick up some items I will need post-op that I can't get here in Japan. Every doctor I asked did not seem concerned about flying post-op, and I will have compression stockings and will walk around a lot (easier in business class too). I will also stay in San Diego for 4 days after I am released, so I will be flying back to Japan a week after surgery, which I think will help with pain or other issues. I'm travelling by myself but I think I will be able to get help with my suitcase every step of the way (hotel, cab, airport).
Anyway, sorry for the long post - it was much longer than I expected it to be!

Another sleever having surgery in Mexico in February! (The 9th to be exact). I felt that time would never come and now it seems like my pre-op diet is almost upon me!

Best decision I have ever made regarding my health. I wish I had made it earlier in life. At 42, I regret the life not lived to the fullest, but look forward to the amazing days ahead.

Yeah, what @@Babbs said. For those of us with long term weight issues, even the best supervised weight loss programs have a very low long-term success rate. Another round of yo-yo weight changes messes with body's weight set point at the hormonal level. If you take care of the emotional issues, along with this tool, your chances for long-term success jump from 5% to over 40%. @@pvechiola please take a look at this: http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/films/main-films/Choices And the younger the better as far as skin sag and less damage to our joints and organs.

You might find this article interesting, it explains why WLS is not like wiring your jaw shut...in other words its not just about restriction, but bigger changes in your hormones, hunger signals et.al. But if you have to take care of the emotional issues which got you into this place, or you will find yourself back at square one...http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2014/03/26/the-humble-heroes-of-weight-loss-surgery-stomach-acids-and-gut-microbes/#comment-3309413

Hi biginjapan
You are so true. I came to Qatar from the uk. There was a lot of options there for food And ready made thing range and taste nice. I find it hard to find things. Surgeons here don't recommend to diet in advance and allow carbs post surgery. I will be sleeved on Thursday. Can't wait.
Back to old me soon

I'm also going to Mexico by myself for my surgery, and many others have as well. As mentioned, you are driven everywhere, so having someone with you is not necessary.

I'm also going to Mexico by myself for my surgery, and many others have as well. As mentioned, you are driven everywhere, so having someone with you is not necessary.

@I'm Changing 4 Me
I created a spreadsheet to help me figure out what I wanted. Personally, I contacted each and every one of these companies/doctors. How are you going to know if you like them unless you deal with them directly? I think in reality, you have to go through some kind of coordinator. Do you expect your surgeon to be dealing with email and phone queries all day? (In fact, out of all these doctors, the only one I was in contact with was Dr. Illan - and while he seemed very nice, the wi-fi connection was so bad I have no idea if he actually answered any of my questions). So, while it would be nice to talk to them, it's not always possible. However, in some cases the coordinator will contact the doctor if you have any specific questions.
This is far from a full list, but based on this, and other sites, I felt that these were the most consistently well-regarded companies and surgeons. As I've mentioned in other posts, I think the biggest reason for price differences are the reputation of the doctor, the hospital used, and the hotels used.
Unless otherwise mentioned, all these doctors are in Tijuana, and these are quotes I got for a Gastric Sleeve (prices may vary depending on your personal health conditions):
Bariatric Pal Team MX: Dr. Jalil Illan ($4399)
Endo Bariatric (in Piedras Negras): Dr. Alvarez ($8900)
Mexico Bariatric Center: Dra. Louisiana Valenzuela ($5500) and Dr. Ismael Cabrera ($4995)
Obesity Control Center: Dr. Ariel Ortiz ($6500-$9000)
Pompeii Surgical: Dr. Sergio Quinones ($4500)
Ponce Bariatric: Dr. jaime ponce de leon ($5000)
Tijuana Bariatrics: Dr. Fernando Garcia ($4250)
WLSC: Dr. Ramos Kelly ($4870-$7710)
Another option seems to be Trinity Medical, also promoted by a pretty active member here, but unfortunately I didn't come across that company until after I had made my decision.
In my particular case, I live in Japan so unlike most of you in the US and Canada, I have some pretty long international flights, and my pear-shaped bottom can no longer squeeze into a 17" economy seat. I might have done that one-way, but I definitely did not want to be squeezed in for 14 hours after major abdominal surgery. Knowing that I would have to buy a business class seat on an international flight meant that I couldn't afford the more expensive doctors - so anything over $6000 was out. I did not like the way I was treated with Tijuana Bariatrics - all I got was a form letter "you've been approved - send money" - and all requests to speak to a coordinator or doctor were completely ignored. In the end the surgeons I was most interested in were Dr. Q, Dr. Ponce, and either Dr. Valenzuela or Dr. Cabrera at MBC. What swayed me the most was how well I was treated by the coordinator, and the amount of information they could give me about the operation, hospitals, etc, how many surgeries the doctor does daily (some doctors work out of more than one hospital, so make sure you find out the daily total and not the hospital total), and finally the price. Oh - and whether or not the surgery could be done on a day that was most convenient for me (for some reason it seems like a lot of the doctors will be away or on vacation or are already booked in February).
I know in the beginning it seems overwhelming, but the best thing to do is bookmark the sites you like, fill out the forms, and see what happens from there. I started with 3 different companies, but over time I expanded my search a little. That said, the problem is the paradox of choice: the more options we have, the more difficult it becomes to choose. Keep it small for now as you get your feet wet. Ask questions. Do research (other bariatric forums, Facebook, etc.) It should get better as you go along.
My surgery is less than 6 weeks away, so I can't tell you how it went, but I'm confident enough that I will be treated well. Anyway, I hope this helps.

There are several recent threads about this very question - you might find more answers there.

Congrats! You look great - I definitely can see it from the photos you posted.