highfunctioningfatman

Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies. What kinda friends are you looking for?

I sold my truck to pay for this... Seriously, sell everything that isn't nailed down. I paid for mine completely out of my pocket and it is worth every single penny.

If you want to have harmless fun do what I would do while camping. Grab a random food container and have fun with the questions and comments phone number on the back. In the spirit of this thread and the above comment I will share 2 of my favorites. I called Gatorade and said that I'd been camping for 2 weeks and hadn't bought enough Water so I'd been drinking fruit punch Gatorade for the last week and I had a concern. I was due home to my wife the next day and I knew that she would be worried about the fact that I'd been pooping red for the last couple of days. When the guy from Gatorade reassured me that it was most likely from the dyes in the Gatorade I said "boy am I glad to hear that it isn't from all of the butt sex that I've been having " I then asked if the dye is why I was having a hard time sitting comfortably. He kept stammering on the other end of the phone and finally hung up. The other was calling Skippy Peanut Butter and telling them that I have a nut allergy and I was concerned because I got some peanut butter on me and I was quite swollen. They went through an entire checklist before asking me where I was swollen and I told them that I used it as lube for butt sex and that my buddy hadn't gone down for 7 hours. Silence then muffled laughing on the other end with the lady saying that she couldn't help me. I then tried to pick up on her claiming that I had obvious abilities to keep going all night. She laughed and hung up.

If you kids keep giving carp to tess she might just tuna round and check all of y'all!

I was 14 days for soft foods. On day 15 it was my wife's birthday and I took here for a nice meal. I had ahi tuna with wasabi and soy sauce.

Wow. Perhaps your boss asked someone to send you something nice and that someone was unaware of what you were going to do?

We had to wash the sheets after fun in a hotel with baby oil and a tarp. Ya ever try to grab a crisco covered watermelon out of a lake? It was like that but a lot more fun!You, my friend, are hilarious! But, why wash she sheets? I'd call and ask for more. We actually get two beds...one for sex and the other for sleep. And just tip housekeeping well.... Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App On our honeymoon we stayed at the Princess Lodge outside of Denali National Park. The rooms were a glorified motel 6. Our room had two beds and we screwed in one and slept in the other. We then carefully made the bed that we screwed in and left a note that would only be found if the sheets were pulled back. The note said "If you find this note then call the maid because we screwed in this bed!" of course we signed it "The honeymooners".

Is that where that idea comes from? Hmmm where could one find a waterbed...

We had to wash the sheets after fun in a hotel with baby oil and a tarp. Ya ever try to grab a crisco covered watermelon out of a lake? It was like that but a lot more fun!

I'm sooooo glad that this stayed a healthy discussion instead of going into a rabbit hole!

My last meal before my pre op was bacon wrapped shrimp with a cream sauce from a favorite Mexican joint. My last meal before surgery was a lobster soup broth. My best meal since was every single meal because I know that I'm doing my body right.

I could be wrong but I bet that your question would have been taken in a different light had a homosexual man asked the question. As much as I hate to point someone into a situation that you may not be comfortable with you might want search men's homosexual forums for the term "rny" and see what comes up.

I don't know of many of us that are medically qualified to answer that question. You really ought to check with your doctor on that one. As far as people's sexual preferences if you don't have a good answer here then don't reply. I can see the concern in this question. My wife is a four-year degree Psychology major with an emphasis in abnormal sexuality. This is not considered abnormal anymore.

I never had a butt to begin with so I was quite surprised to lose there. Now I have a boney butt and with the rest of my gravity pushing down on what is left of my butt, it hurts!

I dug up some old pictures. The first one I was 13 and in scouts. That damn pack weighed just over 100 pounds, I weighed 225. The second one was probably the best shape that I was ever in, I was 19-20 at that point. I'm on the right up against the Toyota. My best friend Casey is sitting on the Dodge.

I just bet you did!

To tell a little known secret about men, we are extremely visual and crossed legs is like a sign saying "hey dumby, check HER out". I've had 4 ear operations when I was younger so there are certain sounds that I don't hear well. The one sound that grabs my head and rips it around is the sound of heels on a hard surface floor. They don't have to be stilettos, just a normal short heel will do it.

Look, he is a guy and like was said earlier, WE LIKE TO FIX THINGS. Give him something to fix and he won't be so attentive to you. Got a project that he can do? Point him at it. It will fill his needs and keep him busy.

It appears that I spoke too soon! This is my 2xl work shirt and 36" pants. I'm also in the last notch of my belt. The blurs are because my company doesn't want anything on social media of any kind.

My theory is that if they won't pay for it then they don't need to know about it. I plan to go to my doc after I'm back to what I would consider normal and request that get a referral for blood work to see if I have vitamin deficiencies. Otherwise I have zero desire to have any "real" follow up care.

Dang dude, nicely done!

Always awesome when you can do something that you couldn't before! Good job ISG!

Pretty much my experience! The lady that helped me actually laughed when I said that i was buying them and coming back to the dressing room to wear them right then. I was so excited that I gave her a ol' hug! She nervously laughed and hugged me back. I called the store today and asked for her manager and I explained how helpful she was and how appreciative I am for her help. The manager laughed and said "so you're the guy!".

I'm back at work today and it sucks because after yesterday's experience getting into my work clothes is such a bummer! I'm wearing a 4x shirt and 40x27 pants. If I had real legs I'd be pushing 6' tall!

I had a great week and I lost 7 pounds! I'm at 265:)