Pazza

I volunteer/work with teenage girls. I love it the girls are great. I've been in this position since before surgery, about 150 pounds ago.
Lately a couple of the parents have asked me to talk to their daughters about loosing weight. Part of me wants to scream because I was heavy as a teenager and know what that feels like. The parents are coming from a place of love and concern. They aren't cruel or harsh people. I don't know what to tell the parents. I don't know how to respond to this. Part of me wants to spout off advice but part of me feels it really isn't my place. I haven't because I'm not sure what to say to the parents. I haven't been able to sit down and talk through how I feel about this with them. Though I am looking for opportunities to do so.
Any advice??
Part of my hesitance is that I am not a qualified profession. I'm not a counselor, not a nutritionist and not a fitness expert. I'm happy to recommend some people to them.
Secondly, there is enough negative talk about bodies that don't fit the 'mold'. These are young impressionable teenagers and believe it or not teenagers can get hurt very easily.
Lastly, I don't think the parents would like what I have to say. They want me to tell the girls to change their eating and exercise more, which is important. The advice I would give the girls is a bit different -
Chew each bite about 20 or more times and take time to enjoy the food you eat. Food is not the enemy! Food can be a good part of life and should be enjoyed. Stop eating when you are full, give your body time and it will tell you, and enjoy feeling full.
Beating yourself up and hating yourself isn't going to result in the changes you want. Sometimes we think if I'm just mean enough to myself, I'll get better. That don't work!! Focus on loving yourself, who you are and where you are.
It is important to be active. Choose something you like and enjoy. It doesn't have to be anything in particular. Try different things and give it a good try, e.g. trying an active activity about 15 times. If you don't like it switch.
Learn about what your body needs and the function of things like Protein, carbs, fats, Vitamins and minerals. Do your best to give your body what it needs. Nobody gets this perfect.
Pay attention to how food makes you feel. They can recognize pretty quickly that if they eat too much sugar, they aren't going to feel well. If they give their body what it needs they will feel better. This is a process of figuring things out and learning.

This is a fun topic! Thank you for starting it!
Pazza means crazy in Italian. And that pretty much fits!

Mine shouldn't need an explanation, lol.

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Mines a secret.... And I'm not telling

I volunteer/work with teenage girls. I love it the girls are great. I've been in this position since before surgery, about 150 pounds ago.
Lately a couple of the parents have asked me to talk to their daughters about loosing weight. Part of me wants to scream because I was heavy as a teenager and know what that feels like. The parents are coming from a place of love and concern. They aren't cruel or harsh people. I don't know what to tell the parents. I don't know how to respond to this. Part of me wants to spout off advice but part of me feels it really isn't my place. I haven't because I'm not sure what to say to the parents. I haven't been able to sit down and talk through how I feel about this with them. Though I am looking for opportunities to do so.
Any advice??
Part of my hesitance is that I am not a qualified profession. I'm not a counselor, not a nutritionist and not a fitness expert. I'm happy to recommend some people to them.
Secondly, there is enough negative talk about bodies that don't fit the 'mold'. These are young impressionable teenagers and believe it or not teenagers can get hurt very easily.
Lastly, I don't think the parents would like what I have to say. They want me to tell the girls to change their eating and exercise more, which is important. The advice I would give the girls is a bit different -
Chew each bite about 20 or more times and take time to enjoy the food you eat. Food is not the enemy! Food can be a good part of life and should be enjoyed. Stop eating when you are full, give your body time and it will tell you, and enjoy feeling full.
Beating yourself up and hating yourself isn't going to result in the changes you want. Sometimes we think if I'm just mean enough to myself, I'll get better. That don't work!! Focus on loving yourself, who you are and where you are.
It is important to be active. Choose something you like and enjoy. It doesn't have to be anything in particular. Try different things and give it a good try, e.g. trying an active activity about 15 times. If you don't like it switch.
Learn about what your body needs and the function of things like Protein, carbs, fats, Vitamins and minerals. Do your best to give your body what it needs. Nobody gets this perfect.
Pay attention to how food makes you feel. They can recognize pretty quickly that if they eat too much sugar, they aren't going to feel well. If they give their body what it needs they will feel better. This is a process of figuring things out and learning.

I volunteer/work with teenage girls. I love it the girls are great. I've been in this position since before surgery, about 150 pounds ago.
Lately a couple of the parents have asked me to talk to their daughters about loosing weight. Part of me wants to scream because I was heavy as a teenager and know what that feels like. The parents are coming from a place of love and concern. They aren't cruel or harsh people. I don't know what to tell the parents. I don't know how to respond to this. Part of me wants to spout off advice but part of me feels it really isn't my place. I haven't because I'm not sure what to say to the parents. I haven't been able to sit down and talk through how I feel about this with them. Though I am looking for opportunities to do so.
Any advice??
Part of my hesitance is that I am not a qualified profession. I'm not a counselor, not a nutritionist and not a fitness expert. I'm happy to recommend some people to them.
Secondly, there is enough negative talk about bodies that don't fit the 'mold'. These are young impressionable teenagers and believe it or not teenagers can get hurt very easily.
Lastly, I don't think the parents would like what I have to say. They want me to tell the girls to change their eating and exercise more, which is important. The advice I would give the girls is a bit different -
Chew each bite about 20 or more times and take time to enjoy the food you eat. Food is not the enemy! Food can be a good part of life and should be enjoyed. Stop eating when you are full, give your body time and it will tell you, and enjoy feeling full.
Beating yourself up and hating yourself isn't going to result in the changes you want. Sometimes we think if I'm just mean enough to myself, I'll get better. That don't work!! Focus on loving yourself, who you are and where you are.
It is important to be active. Choose something you like and enjoy. It doesn't have to be anything in particular. Try different things and give it a good try, e.g. trying an active activity about 15 times. If you don't like it switch.
Learn about what your body needs and the function of things like Protein, carbs, fats, Vitamins and minerals. Do your best to give your body what it needs. Nobody gets this perfect.
Pay attention to how food makes you feel. They can recognize pretty quickly that if they eat too much sugar, they aren't going to feel well. If they give their body what it needs they will feel better. This is a process of figuring things out and learning.

I think in some ways I have changed but who I am is still the same. I think the things that have changed are confidence and habits.
Dealing with a slimmer body can be difficult to process. It has been for me. I didn't think it would. Two thoughts to pass on on that front.
My doctor told me I needed to develop a new identity as an active "skinny" person. (I don't consider myself skinny but he was making a poont.)
Counseling - I'm a big fan of c.b.t. and working through it. It is worth it though. It may be easy for you to accept the new package too.
All the best

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I think in some ways I have changed but who I am is still the same. I think the things that have changed are confidence and habits.
Dealing with a slimmer body can be difficult to process. It has been for me. I didn't think it would. Two thoughts to pass on on that front.
My doctor told me I needed to develop a new identity as an active "skinny" person. (I don't consider myself skinny but he was making a poont.)
Counseling - I'm a big fan of c.b.t. and working through it. It is worth it though. It may be easy for you to accept the new package too.
All the best

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Most powerful laxative for me is Epsom salt. Directions on the package. Use the plain regular one. It'll feel like you took a drain snake through you...
Make sure thou check with your doc it can be really rough on the system.
two doses of Miralax and two doses benefiber each day keep me steady.
H.L.C. Probiotics are good for me too.
Good luck it is no fun....

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I think in some ways I have changed but who I am is still the same. I think the things that have changed are confidence and habits.
Dealing with a slimmer body can be difficult to process. It has been for me. I didn't think it would. Two thoughts to pass on on that front.
My doctor told me I needed to develop a new identity as an active "skinny" person. (I don't consider myself skinny but he was making a poont.)
Counseling - I'm a big fan of c.b.t. and working through it. It is worth it though. It may be easy for you to accept the new package too.
All the best

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using BariatricPal mobile app

I think in some ways I have changed but who I am is still the same. I think the things that have changed are confidence and habits.
Dealing with a slimmer body can be difficult to process. It has been for me. I didn't think it would. Two thoughts to pass on on that front.
My doctor told me I needed to develop a new identity as an active "skinny" person. (I don't consider myself skinny but he was making a poont.)
Counseling - I'm a big fan of c.b.t. and working through it. It is worth it though. It may be easy for you to accept the new package too.
All the best

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I am over 4 1/2 years post-op RNY gastric bypass surgery. I am still the same me except I am a lot more healthy and able to do many more things.

At worst, you'll be more confident! That wasn't an issue for me as I have always been very confident and social. I think the hardest part with the process for me is trying to make people understand that I didn't change on the inside, in spite of the dramatic change on the outside. Plus even over a year out, I still haven't mentally realized what my outside actually looks like. I don't feel like I lost "me". "Me" just comes in a different package now.

I too had problems for a long time after my surgery. One day I was so desperate that I ask a nutritionist at work to look at what I was eating. Turns out, there was very little Fiber in my diet. I started eating more fiber - berries, peas, quinoa, etc... and all of my problems went away. I spent so long chasing a remedy that I missed the root cause of the issue.

Way to go on your weightloss!

Lots of good suggestions.
Mine are try something for a month solid and then if you don't like it switch. (Sounds like you might already be doing this.)

Plan for different things based on the season or your schedule. Outside stuff in summer, videos/machines in winter. Switching up a workout is a good thing anyway. Nothing says you have to do one thing year round.

Set up a reward system to give you something to look forward to. For example after 20 workouts you can get that scarf, shoes, game, headphones, etc you really want.

All the best

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I'm excited for you! Think this is a good question.
If you don't know the possible long term difficulties/complications and what you can do to avoid them, ask about it. I suggest this not to scare you. I think these are good to know. Statistically, you probably won't have to deal with them.
There are lots of things that can happen afterwards, like Vitamin deficiencies. Most of the time people are still healthier than without the surgery. A family member of mine that had the surgery has to take massive doses of B12 to keep b12 levels up in the good range. Not a huge thing or enough to stop me from doing the surgery. But for me, knowing possible complications helps me. Probably just a weird me thing though.

Hello all! I've missed being on here.
What are some things people have done to support and encourage you when you were struggling? I'm looking for ways to help my beloved who is struggling right now.
My husband is overweight and trying to loose weight. He is doing the right things but the scale is not moving and clothing is not getting any looser. (A story many of us are familiar with!)
He doesn't come close to qualifying for surgery but said he would do it if he could.
I help him by:
encouraging him to exercise in a way he enjoys,
try to do active things together when possible and
work to help him with meals/macros/portion control (I do all the cooking and shopping right now.).
He is getting in a lot of good exercise and eating to have a good calorie deficit. I've tried telling him that I am really proud of him and he is doing the right things but he kinda doesn't believe it/want to hear it. To be fair I didn't enjoy hearing that when I was so overweight and doing the right things too and the scale wasn't moving.
I had RNY March 2016 and have lost about 150 pounds. I don't think this is a reactionary, now he feels overweight because I've lost the weight. He has been struggling with his weight the last 5 or 6 years.
Any ideas on how to support would be most welcome.
Thanks!

I am going through a kind of similar situation with my dh. He would like to lose 20 lbs and get his cholesterol down low enough to get off his medication.
He really isn't that overweight as he is stocky and muscular. I have been doing similar things as you. I prepare our meals and he has been joining me for runs on Sundays now.
the only other thing I can suggest is to have his RMR tested so you can be sure of the calorie deficit.

This goes against the grain of going lower in calories, etc...but is he eating enough to start losing weight? I ask because my brother who used to be over 300 lbs at one time (he's 6'5") was trying to figure out why he wasn't losing any weight, but gaining weight as he kept cutting his diet down. He went to a nutritionist and found out that he wasn't eating enough. His nutritionist put him on a higher caloric diet and the weight started to drop. Same thing happened with me; my doc was always on to me for not eating enough; thus I gained weight. So, not to be all contradicting with you @Berry78, but the 1200 calorie for your husband will only work temporarily...he won't be able to sustain that low of calories for his height/weight. It'll all come crushing back on , like most everyone here has been through. There are healthier ways of losing weight without going so low in calories. 1200 sustainable calories is meant to be for 4'2" woman/girl who weighs 80lbs.
Even though this calculator is just a general idea, it's a good idea to check it out and see about where/what your husband is doing. http://eatmore2weighless.com/weight-loss-calculator/
I hope you find a way to help...but ultimately, it'll be his want to change/help himself...you're the cheerleader. Keep cheering him on hon.

Hello all! I've missed being on here.
What are some things people have done to support and encourage you when you were struggling? I'm looking for ways to help my beloved who is struggling right now.
My husband is overweight and trying to loose weight. He is doing the right things but the scale is not moving and clothing is not getting any looser. (A story many of us are familiar with!)
He doesn't come close to qualifying for surgery but said he would do it if he could.
I help him by:
encouraging him to exercise in a way he enjoys,
try to do active things together when possible and
work to help him with meals/macros/portion control (I do all the cooking and shopping right now.).
He is getting in a lot of good exercise and eating to have a good calorie deficit. I've tried telling him that I am really proud of him and he is doing the right things but he kinda doesn't believe it/want to hear it. To be fair I didn't enjoy hearing that when I was so overweight and doing the right things too and the scale wasn't moving.
I had RNY March 2016 and have lost about 150 pounds. I don't think this is a reactionary, now he feels overweight because I've lost the weight. He has been struggling with his weight the last 5 or 6 years.
Any ideas on how to support would be most welcome.
Thanks!

I'm LDS too!

Hi there, I'm LDS also[emoji4]. I was sleeved in September last year. 6 months out and I've lost 90 lbs! My birthday is March 23 and I'm hoping to be down 100lbs. But if I don't I'm ok with it. Best decision I ever made. I still have a long way to go, but on the right track. Good luck to everyone. I'm from northern Utah and I'm sick of winter!!! Today the sun is shining and it feels so great[emoji4][emoji4][emoji4]

I haven't been on this forum in forever but I'm LDS too :-) convert since 2002. I am 3 days shy of my 9 month VSG post op mark.

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So some people think this is gross but I sometimes make a V8 Protein Shake. I use Isopure unflavored and a can of regular V8. Add in a little extra Water and shake, shake, shake. If it is too much sodium, they make a low sodium version. It definitely isn't sweet! It isn't totally unflavored but it works well when added to something savory like Soups.
I like to drink it after a workout because it is good Protein and since I sweat a lot, the V8 replaces electrolytes.
Also I have to take lactaid with anything dairy. I've found I don't need to when I use Isopure powder.
All the best!

So some people think this is gross but I sometimes make a V8 Protein Shake. I use Isopure unflavored and a can of regular V8. Add in a little extra Water and shake, shake, shake. If it is too much sodium, they make a low sodium version. It definitely isn't sweet! It isn't totally unflavored but it works well when added to something savory like Soups.
I like to drink it after a workout because it is good Protein and since I sweat a lot, the V8 replaces electrolytes.
Also I have to take lactaid with anything dairy. I've found I don't need to when I use Isopure powder.
All the best!