How to help husband

[Pazza 199]

Hello all! I've missed being on here.

What are some things people have done to support and encourage you when you were struggling? I'm looking for ways to help my beloved who is struggling right now.

My husband is overweight and trying to loose weight. He is doing the right things but the scale is not moving and clothing is not getting any looser. (A story many of us are familiar with!)

He doesn't come close to qualifying for surgery but said he would do it if he could.

I help him by:

encouraging him to exercise in a way he enjoys,

try to do active things together when possible and

work to help him with meals/macros/portion control (I do all the cooking and shopping right now.).

He is getting in a lot of good exercise and eating to have a good calorie deficit. I've tried telling him that I am really proud of him and he is doing the right things but he kinda doesn't believe it/want to hear it. To be fair I didn't enjoy hearing that when I was so overweight and doing the right things too and the scale wasn't moving.

I had RNY March 2016 and have lost about 150 pounds. I don't think this is a reactionary, now he feels overweight because I've lost the weight. He has been struggling with his weight the last 5 or 6 years.

Any ideas on how to support would be most welcome.

Thanks!

[Apple1 2,572]

I am going through a kind of similar situation with my dh. He would like to lose 20 lbs and get his cholesterol down low enough to get off his medication.

He really isn't that overweight as he is stocky and muscular. I have been doing similar things as you. I prepare our meals and he has been joining me for runs on Sundays now.

the only other thing I can suggest is to have his RMR tested so you can be sure of the calorie deficit.

[Berry78 4,259]

I put my 6'4, 300lb husband on a 1200-1400 calorie diet. He lost 16lbs the first week! (No exercise, as he has a bad back).

There could be a couple different things happening for your hubby. Either the calories just aren't low enough, or he has some underlying health condition that's preventing the weight loss (like hypothyroidism).

First thing is to take him to his doctor and have a thorough physical to make sure he's healthy.

Not sure how long you've been at it, but sometimes weight can simply take a few weeks to start to shift.

[Newme17 3,444]

This goes against the grain of going lower in calories, etc...but is he eating enough to start losing weight? I ask because my brother who used to be over 300 lbs at one time (he's 6'5") was trying to figure out why he wasn't losing any weight, but gaining weight as he kept cutting his diet down. He went to a nutritionist and found out that he wasn't eating enough. His nutritionist put him on a higher caloric diet and the weight started to drop. Same thing happened with me; my doc was always on to me for not eating enough; thus I gained weight. So, not to be all contradicting with you @Berry78, but the 1200 calorie for your husband will only work temporarily...he won't be able to sustain that low of calories for his height/weight. It'll all come crushing back on , like most everyone here has been through. There are healthier ways of losing weight without going so low in calories. 1200 sustainable calories is meant to be for 4'2" woman/girl who weighs 80lbs.

Even though this calculator is just a general idea, it's a good idea to check it out and see about where/what your husband is doing. http://eatmore2weighless.com/weight-loss-calculator/

I hope you find a way to help...but ultimately, it'll be his want to change/help himself...you're the cheerleader. Keep cheering him on hon.

[Berry78 4,259]

No worries. 1200 is not a long term number, and it doesn't matter much because he "cheats". He went on a business trip for 3 weeks and lost 1 pound (at least he didn't gain!), but the weight started dropping again when he got back... nowhere near as fast, but he's doing well.

Low calories will always cause fat loss. The scale may not show it due to Fluid retention, but for my hubby it is working. His cheat days boost his weekly totals, and allow him to drop the cortisol-induced fluid weight.

If I put him on a "sustainable" number of calories, he'd still cheat (he cheats for emotional reasons, not hunger), and not see any movement on the scale at all... just like what happened on his business trip.

Once he gets near goal, we'll get his bmr tested to see what his maintenance calories should look like. We'll build in a daily "cheat" that will hopefully make it all sustainable for him.