cookarue

@@cookarue
Amazing NSV. I bet you feel like a kid again

It has been raining where I live for the last 3 days. My kids were totally over being inside, so I took them to a family fun center indoor playground. They had a blast and I TOTALLY KEPT UP WITH THEM! I was climbing up the 3 story jungle gym and going into the ball pit. Before surgery, I'd have just sat at the benches and waiting for them to be done. I'd also have been worried that the playground wouldn't support my weight. I feel really great that I could actually participate with my little babies. I'm feeling very thankful right about now.

It has been raining where I live for the last 3 days. My kids were totally over being inside, so I took them to a family fun center indoor playground. They had a blast and I TOTALLY KEPT UP WITH THEM! I was climbing up the 3 story jungle gym and going into the ball pit. Before surgery, I'd have just sat at the benches and waiting for them to be done. I'd also have been worried that the playground wouldn't support my weight. I feel really great that I could actually participate with my little babies. I'm feeling very thankful right about now.

Smye the actress pulled a disappearing act on you, correct? Then after a time, she came up and said, let's just be friends. As you've posted before, you're looking for more of a relationship than a friendship. Also, you're sexually attracted to her (I assume), so you, yourself aren't necessarily going out just to hang out with a buddy. More than likely, your hopes are that she'll decide after a time, to take you into consideration. If she wanted to take a leap into dating you, she'd have kept dating you from the get-go. Or at very least kept in contact with you. Women who put off a man aren't interested in that man. Therefore my assumption is that she's using your attraction to gain attention that she's lacking from men recently, in order to boost her confidence. Not that she's changing her mind and wants to date you seriously.
I don't mean to sound harsh, and I know you've been through a lot. So, I hate to notice something and not make mention of it. I don't want you looking at this situation with the actress through rose colored glasses. From a bystander point of view, I'd be very wary of her intentions. Also, I think your time would be better spent on meeting women who don't blow you off.
As far as meeting women who want to rip your clothes off, and tantalize your brain - it's going to be hard. There aren't many people who make good matches or are on the same level as you will be. Hence, the moving on to the next woman, and the next, until you find a better match that's as interested in you, as you are her. It will happen. But you can't spend your time with the wrong woman, if you're looking to meet the right woman.
Sorry for the long, possibly unwanted, post. Lol.

Don't stay anywhere too long with someone who can't even take care of her own issues. As far as the actress goes, she's told you she's not interested in the long run. She disappeared, and now she's back to using you in order to regain her confidence (most likely after someone broke up with her). I, myself, am guilty of that in the past. String along a man that's interested so you can feel good about yourself, even though he's not what you want and know it.
There are PLENTY of fish in the sea, and it's time to go fishing again. Stop looking at the old fish in the freezer you already caught.
Dating shouldn't be so serious. It should be fun, and exciting. So if you're over the woman who clearly needs you more than you want her... Find someone who's fun and wants to rip your clothes off!

I'm SO sorry. That's very disappointing.
I was late to one of my nutrition classes by 10 minutes and they wouldn't allow me to go in. I had to wait a whole month longer to sign up and take it again, which meant I couldn't have surgery for another month. I was devastated and cried my eyes out, and was very mad at my husband (he was late getting home and we only have one car- hence why I was late to this mandatory appointment). I got over it pretty quickly, and I had my surgery in December 2015. I'm down over 50 pounds and I'm feeling great. I know how hard these set backs can be, but they're only set backs. You're still going to have surgery, so thank God for that!

Day of surgery I was a 20, now - less than 3 months after and I'm in 14s! Very excited. Surgery day 12/29 at 223, now I'm 185 pic taken today. Height is 5'2. Woop woop!!
Please ignore my lack of makeup and messy hair...lol

My grandpa died in my parent's house. It feels comforting to be there now because he was a great person. So if it was "haunted" it was by his love and wonderful memories. Maybe look into the person who died and see for yourself if that seems like friendly ghost. I never had an supernatural experiences in my family's house, but if I did I wouldn't be alarmed.

My grandpa died in my parent's house. It feels comforting to be there now because he was a great person. So if it was "haunted" it was by his love and wonderful memories. Maybe look into the person who died and see for yourself if that seems like friendly ghost. I never had an supernatural experiences in my family's house, but if I did I wouldn't be alarmed.

Well, dying is part of the circle of life, and if you gotta die somewhere, it may as well be of old age in the comfort of your own home. Maybe you could find out a little bit about her, "to get to know her" sort of.

I haven't posted much but I went dress shopping yesterday because I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding this summer. It reminded me of 2 years ago when I was in another friends wedding how terrible I felt ordering a size 20 dress. Well I'm happy to say I'm ordering a size 8 this time, could get a 6 but I want to be able to breathe in it.
HW: 260
SW: 245 4/17/15
CW: 158 3/20/16
My goal weight is 155 so I'm so close. I have a lot of extra skin that I'm looking into having surgically removed. But I couldn't be happier with the results from my surgery!

10months out. 125 lbs down. CW 195

Day of surgery I was a 20, now - less than 3 months after and I'm in 14s! Very excited. Surgery day 12/29 at 223, now I'm 185 pic taken today. Height is 5'2. Woop woop!!
Please ignore my lack of makeup and messy hair...lol

Day of surgery I was a 20, now - less than 3 months after and I'm in 14s! Very excited. Surgery day 12/29 at 223, now I'm 185 pic taken today. Height is 5'2. Woop woop!!
Please ignore my lack of makeup and messy hair...lol

I'm so sorry you're going through this rough time
Emotional pain is the worst kind of pain, but after this is over, you'll be so open and free to just take care of yourself and do exactly what will make you happy.

You look fabulous!! Congratulations! Your hard work has really paid off. [emoji122] [emoji122] [emoji122]

Woo Hoo Wed 3/16 was my 1 year since I had my sleeve done!
What a whirlwind year it's been
Starting weight 221lbs
Weight after one year 128!
I have so much energy and am feeling great.
I went from wearing a size 18/20 pants to a
size 4.
Went from wearing a 2X shirt to wearing a small
This was the best decision I ever made 

Today is one year from my bypass surgery. So much has changed in this one year. Both my life and I are unrecognisable.
Now I am going to attempt to post the obligatory before and after shots.   (please disregard my messy closet in the "after" picture!)

My name is Mo. I had my surgery on 11/5/15. I'm about 4 months out and 55lbs down. What an awesome feeling. At first I thought to myself what the hell did I do to myself. I just knew I'd given myself some sort of eating disorder but that was not the case. God has allowed me to modify my eating and start to maintain a healthy lifestyle. And the results are fantastic!!! They calling me skinny now  the top spot before and the bottom is after
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Smye the actress pulled a disappearing act on you, correct? Then after a time, she came up and said, let's just be friends. As you've posted before, you're looking for more of a relationship than a friendship. Also, you're sexually attracted to her (I assume), so you, yourself aren't necessarily going out just to hang out with a buddy. More than likely, your hopes are that she'll decide after a time, to take you into consideration. If she wanted to take a leap into dating you, she'd have kept dating you from the get-go. Or at very least kept in contact with you. Women who put off a man aren't interested in that man. Therefore my assumption is that she's using your attraction to gain attention that she's lacking from men recently, in order to boost her confidence. Not that she's changing her mind and wants to date you seriously.
I don't mean to sound harsh, and I know you've been through a lot. So, I hate to notice something and not make mention of it. I don't want you looking at this situation with the actress through rose colored glasses. From a bystander point of view, I'd be very wary of her intentions. Also, I think your time would be better spent on meeting women who don't blow you off.
As far as meeting women who want to rip your clothes off, and tantalize your brain - it's going to be hard. There aren't many people who make good matches or are on the same level as you will be. Hence, the moving on to the next woman, and the next, until you find a better match that's as interested in you, as you are her. It will happen. But you can't spend your time with the wrong woman, if you're looking to meet the right woman.
Sorry for the long, possibly unwanted, post. Lol.

@@cookarue, she didn't quite pull a disappearing act - I was too flippant when I referred to it as 'ghosting' previously. Though perhaps I'm being naive in choosing to believe her words. Our exchange back when we last met went as follows:
"Hey Smye,

So.. I think I need to cancel our get together next Sunday. I’ve decided that I need to pull back from OkCupid and further dates for now. unsure emoticon I had a couple other dates last week that got emotionally intense, which was very confusing and somewhat upsetting for me since I feel like I’m still very early in the process. I’ve been thinking about it for the last few days and I believe it would be a good idea for me to take a step back and reassess what exactly it is I’m looking for.

I hope you can understand, and I am sorry- I’ve really, truly enjoyed the couple dates we’ve had and was looking forward to the next one, but I think ultimately I’m just not in a very solid place to be dating right now, and that’s not a good way to step into dating. I believe that when the foundation isn’t healthy, someone will likely eventually end up getting hurt because old baggage will creep in and do damage to any new relationship. I’m seeing some things in myself that definitely need to be sorted out before I get to that healthy place.

If you’re open to me contacting you sometime in the not-so-distant future when I feel like I’m on more solid footing, I would love to keep that possibility open, but if not I will of course respect that as well. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you as much as I have so far, and I feel regretful that the timing just isn’t right right now to continue to do so.

Thanks, Actress"
"Hi Actress,
Thank you for your message. I so appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable and authentic in your process and will absolutely respect your needs here. I admire your commitment to self care and making sure you remain healthy through this process.

To be certain, I'm disappointed. I like you a great deal and am hopeful for the opportunity to continue to get to know you. I understand entirely needing to be in a healthy, independent place prior to diving into a relationship ill-equipped. I wish you the best in getting yourself into a place that you're ready and interested in pursuing a relationship.
In the meantime, if it's not a poor choice on your part, I'd love to keep in touch as friends, then possibly pursue more when/if you're ready assuming both of us are on board. Or, if it's healthier/more supportive for you to go radio-silent for a time, I'd love to hear from you when you feel like you're on more solid footing to see about exploring a possible relationship at that time.
As mentioned previously, I'm in no particular hurry & I wasn't kidding when I said that time with you, by all measures thus far, is well worth waiting for - be it as only friends or someday more. I hope you have a wonderful weekend with your mother and her partner. Take care, and let me know if there is any support I can provide. Smye" "Hi Smye, Sorry for not responding to your message right away. I really appreciate your understanding and for being so supportive of my need to take a step back. Honestly, I just got to a place last week where I realized my emotions are still just not sorted through properly, and that I’ve been seeking distraction from dealing with some of the hard things that I need to sit with and deal with over a period of time.

I think maybe for the moment I’d like to go radio silent to get some space and take stock of things, but I am not at all opposed to being friends and picking up getting to know each other when some time has passed and I feel like I’m in a better spot to do that. Would that be okay? I really do enjoy spending time with you, too.

So… I guess I’ll be in touch, then? And until then I hope all things for you go well, and your school and with Atticus and otherwise, and I look forward to catching up again before too long.

The Actress"
"Good afternoon Actress,

Radio silence it is. Congratulations on your realization and determination to keep yourself healthy.

I look forward to reconnecting at some point, but please take as long as you need. And if I never her back from you, sure I'll be disappointed but will not resent you, instead trusting that it's in your best interest.

Take care, I wish you the best, and thank you for the time together we've had thus far. You have my profound respect.

Smye" Through the creepy magic that is Facebook, I happen to know that she spent the intervening months seeking counseling to help her get to a place where she was healthy to pursue other relationships. So far as I know, she's not said "let's only be friends" but rather "let's just be friends for now, no guarantees" which, to be honest, is precisely what I'm looking for. Friends first (though yes, she is gorgeous), then more if it works.
Thanks again for your support by the way - your post is in no way unwanted or harsh. And in no way will I exclusively date this 'friend' until and unless we're sure we want to exclusively date.
Now off to actually break things off with The Cartographer - this is going to hurt. A lot.

Smye the actress pulled a disappearing act on you, correct? Then after a time, she came up and said, let's just be friends. As you've posted before, you're looking for more of a relationship than a friendship. Also, you're sexually attracted to her (I assume), so you, yourself aren't necessarily going out just to hang out with a buddy. More than likely, your hopes are that she'll decide after a time, to take you into consideration. If she wanted to take a leap into dating you, she'd have kept dating you from the get-go. Or at very least kept in contact with you. Women who put off a man aren't interested in that man. Therefore my assumption is that she's using your attraction to gain attention that she's lacking from men recently, in order to boost her confidence. Not that she's changing her mind and wants to date you seriously.
I don't mean to sound harsh, and I know you've been through a lot. So, I hate to notice something and not make mention of it. I don't want you looking at this situation with the actress through rose colored glasses. From a bystander point of view, I'd be very wary of her intentions. Also, I think your time would be better spent on meeting women who don't blow you off.
As far as meeting women who want to rip your clothes off, and tantalize your brain - it's going to be hard. There aren't many people who make good matches or are on the same level as you will be. Hence, the moving on to the next woman, and the next, until you find a better match that's as interested in you, as you are her. It will happen. But you can't spend your time with the wrong woman, if you're looking to meet the right woman.
Sorry for the long, possibly unwanted, post. Lol.

I'm glad you figured out the stool situation. Before my surgery I read all these things about people being up and feeling fine after surgery and things. I didn't have the same experience. I felt like crap, sore, in pain, irritable, tired, all of it for about 6 weeks after my surgery. I wasn't up and walking until day 3 in the hospital. I didn't have any complications either. People heal at different rates, and I was one of the slow healers. Even though I regretted surgery for that time, I got through it and now I would not change one miserable moment and I feel SO much better! Hang in there, you'll wake up one day and not be sore- and you'll feel great.

Don't stay anywhere too long with someone who can't even take care of her own issues. As far as the actress goes, she's told you she's not interested in the long run. She disappeared, and now she's back to using you in order to regain her confidence (most likely after someone broke up with her). I, myself, am guilty of that in the past. String along a man that's interested so you can feel good about yourself, even though he's not what you want and know it.
There are PLENTY of fish in the sea, and it's time to go fishing again. Stop looking at the old fish in the freezer you already caught.
Dating shouldn't be so serious. It should be fun, and exciting. So if you're over the woman who clearly needs you more than you want her... Find someone who's fun and wants to rip your clothes off!