waterwoman

Food cravings can derail your weight loss efforts. The next time a craving hits, try thinking about your smaller stomach as a set of training wheels instead of a set of restrictive rules.


In the forum, I've seen a lot of concern about cheating on the pre-op diet and eating certain foods too soon after surgery. I understand these temptations. (Oh, boy, do I understand.) It is natural to crave what we can't have. Foods like pizza and Pasta suddenly seem preternaturally delicious. If we give in and eat something that's not on our diet plan, we react with guilt and shame--and we usually realize that pizza is not as awesome as we remembered.
Unfortunately, cravings come back again and again, promising a taste explosion. If we don't learn to resist most of these cravings, we can derail our weight loss efforts.
The next time a craving hits, try thinking about your smaller stomach as a set of training wheels instead of a set of restrictive rules. Your current body--your bicycle--is functional, but you have your heart set on that sleek racing model or muscular mountain bike. You yearn to zip down the street or take that rugged path through the forest. Before you can master the better bicycle, though, you have to learn to balance on the one you have--under all road and trail conditions. You have to be ready for the challenges ahead.
Training wheels are boring, but they help us avoid the worst of the bumps and bruises that can happen when we lose our balance and fall off the bike. We can still slip up and take a spill, but it's likely to be much less painful than if we were careening down a street unchecked, with no extra wheels to keep us upright.
Our smaller stomach does the same thing for us: it helps us maintain our balance while we're learning to nourish our bodies again. Before surgery, most of us had the freedom to eat a large variety and amount of food. We lost our balance repeatedly, and we paid for it with increased weight and medical problems. We injured our body--and mind--over and over.
We've already invested a lot of resources in our weight loss surgery, and we have a limited amount of time to make use of these training wheels. If we take the extra time and effort to learn the fine art of balance, we will be better prepared to handle the freedom that comes with the new, better models of our bodies. The excitement and adventures waiting for us down the road are worth a little boredom with the training wheels now.

I haven't had surgery yet, but I'm very close and have completed most of the pre-surgery homework... but I just wanted to share a pretty awesome moment I had recently!
In my excitement to start my weight loss journey, I've tried to get in much more exercise in, since I'm feeling VERY gung-ho! I'm playing tennis more regularly, I went on a backpacking trip, and I just joined (again) a Cross Fit gym.
....A little backstory: I've gone up and down and up and down with my weight over the last 15+ years, yo-yo dieting and trying every exercise and eating trend in order to fight the obesity disease (sound familiar?) losing 20 or 30 pounds using these diets and workout trends, just to gain them back and more once I slip. And I don't think that people who haven't been overweight understand this, and assume that every challenge can be solved with white-knuckling the problem and often stigmatize and judge tools like weight loss surgery, rather than the traditional "just work out more"...
So, anyway, back to me joining this new gym. I really liked the vibe, the trainer was totally not a "bro" trainer, he was very nice and encouraging, and the gym was filled with a variety of body types and ages. MUCH different than the last CF gym I'd gone to! I was excited! But then the trainer told me he was going to do everything in his power to convince me out of surgery (which I'd disclosed to him earlier, privately). It was like there was a spotlight on me and my choices and my weight and my seeming choice to take the "easy way out". And my social anxiety almost had me tucking back into my shell like a turtle.
But here's where it gets good. OLD Sarah would have slunk down and maybe even quit the gym out of embarrassment, or worry that I'd be pressured into changing my mind on a very personal decision I've already committed to and gotten excited about and am completely ready for! OLD Sarah wouldn't have said a peep. This time, I spoke up for myself and told him that while I totally hear him, and appreciate the encouragement, I won't be changing my mind, but I WILL be trying my hardest to teach my body how to work harder and do better with his class. And then I asked, "Deal?" Right then and there I cut off the judgement and the opportunity for this (well intending) trainer to think he gets to decide for me what's best for me, instead of me!
It doesn't seem like an enormous moment, probably, to most people. But I have such a confidence issue that it was a shining light into my future of even more confidence and I'm really really happy about that. So I thought I'd share it!
Have any of you ever had people try and chime into your decision, try to talk you out of it, or make you feel bad for this decision? I've largely kept it pretty private, with the exception of my husband, my boss and a few close friends, because I don't want others to think they can proffer their opinion about it, when it's not their deal, it's mine!
Ahhhh! Anyway, that's my pre-op non scale victory!!

What is your A1c? Sometimes thirst relates to diabetes.

Not so much a fear as a concern as time goes by. How will my tiny stomach react to medications I may need to take, will I get an ulcer, what would happen if this did happen...............a big concern and I hope that I will be fine well into my 90's!!

I have a lot of photos of myself from days long past.

Photos of myself at an extremely unhealthy weight.

Photos of myself at a time that I was eating as a way of dealing with my emotions.
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These pictures represent a time in my life where I was constantly sad, constantly depressed. They represent a time when I felt completely unworthy. They are pictures of a woman who put on a fake smile to hide all the pain inside.
They capture a woman who felt like she was drowning in the co-morbid conditions that the disease of obesity had brought her too.
I was full-blown diabetic, I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, severe edema and severe depression. There were days that I was simply non-functional.
I knew that my weight was causing these medical issues and truthfully, I didn’t care. I had given up on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. I very consciously made the decision to not care about what my lifestyle behavior choices were doing to my health and to my body.
I had a lot of days that I really wished I wasn’t even there. I was very aware that I was digging a grave with a fork and a spoon. In fact, if I am being completely honest, that was very much my intention.
These photos portray a woman who truthfully didn’t love herself. A woman who didn’t believe that she was worthy of being loved.
They portray a woman who was still very much caught in the survivor mentality of life. A woman who had grown up a survivor of physical, sexual and verbal abuse. A woman who was psychologically using her weight as a way to build walls and keep people out.
Sometimes I post photos of my transformation, a before-and-after photo of myself and I look at it and I think “Oh my god, who is that girl?” or “I don’t recognize that woman anymore.”
Almost instantly someone will see my photo and tell me that I was just as beautiful then as I am now or that I have always been the same person.
I very rarely respond to these comments because I really don’t know how to explain. Really, that’s your interpretation, not mine. I don’t need you to qualify my beauty and I don’t need you to diminish the celebration of my transformation.
Let me pause here and clarify something – if you have ever been one of those people who came on to my post and made a comment like this, I am not spanking you. I realize that you’re trying to be a positive voice in a negative world. I realized that you are trying to be supportive and kind and I appreciate that. I try to do the same and there are far too many people out there that are willing to tear each other down rather than to build each other up.
What I am trying to do is maybe get you to see the situation through a different perspective. I’m trying bring light to the fact that sometimes what we think is positive and supportive, if contrary to how someone feels about themselves, really isn’t.




Sometimes I think we are so busy trying to make sure that those that are dealing with obesity do not feel shamed or stigmatized that we forget that obesity is a very complex disease and that it can be caused by many different things.
If I was a recovering drug addict and I posted a before and after photo of myself with a tourniquet around my arm and a needle in my vein would you tell me that I was just as beautiful then as I am now?
I am one of the first people to stand up against weight bias, weight stigma and weight discrimination. Nobody should ever have to experience those things and I spend a lot of my free time trying to help educate and raise awareness to fight these societal intolerances.
I am also the first person to stand up and say that obesity is not healthy. Obesity isn’t a pretty disease. It is as unkind and ugly as any other deadly disease. Just like you can’t look at a photo of someone and decide that the reason they struggle with their weight is because they make poor lifestyle choices and over consume food; you also can’t look at a photo and assume that it’s not.




As a recovering food addict, someone who used food to feed my feelings and someone who was purposely and systematically killing herself with food, when I look at a photo of myself and say “I don’t recognize that girl anymore.” — I don’t need someone to tell me that they do.
I’d much rather see my transformation acknowledged in a way that doesn’t focus on looks but rather on the accomplishment. “Way to go! What an amazing transformation.” “That’s awesome, congratulations on your health accomplishments!” “What a great job. Look how far you have come.” There are a ton of ways we can acknowledge before and after transformations without using beauty as our quantifier.
As someone who has very openly discussed body images issues after weight loss, I can honestly tell you that when someone tells me I am just as beautiful then as I am now I have to remind myself that they are talking about on the inside. Because just a couple of years ago a comment like that would have me standing in front of my mirror wondering what I needed to “fix” about my body to make it noticeably different.
When I look at those before photos and all they represent, I don’t think I was beautiful then. I think I was suffering. I think I was in a very dark place and I think my obesity was a very physical symptom of that ugliness. I’m relieved everyday that I was able to bounce back from it.
I look back at those photos and I am thankful that I have managed to find a way to maintain my recovery from obesity and food addictions in a world that is food-centric. I look back at those photos and I am grateful that I wasn’t successful at trying to end my life via obesity.
Some people look at those photos and think that I hated myself because I suffered from obesity. The truth is I suffered from obesity because I hated myself. The moment I learned to start loving myself and finding myself worthy, I started making healthier lifestyle decisions.




I am not the same person in those photos. Not on the outside. Not on the inside. I have successfully navigated a lifestyle transformation. If I was the girl you see in my before pictures, you likely wouldn’t have the pleasure of knowing me today, my friends would have been shopping for a casket by now.

Hi y'all! I'm so happy I remembered this forum. I was banded back in 2009, I have had pretty good success until the last 6-8 months. I would go days without even keeping Water down then one day I could eat anything but back to nothing the next day. I finally was miserable enough to get a consult and my band had slipped. I was unfilled in November when the dr tried to do an egd and couldn't even get the scoop through. Since then I've gained about 20lbs, I knew I would gain some weight going from throwing everything up to actually eating. Luckily my insurance has approved my revision and I have surgery scheduled Tuesday. My grandmother passed away last night and it looks like the funeral is going to be on Thursday. My question is how was your pain 2 days postop? My mom is the only one that knows I'm having surgery and doesn't want me to reschedule since it took so long to get in. I know the added stress of the funeral isn't going to help but I have to be there. Any advice? I'm so ready for the revision and to begin my weight loss journey again. I only have about 35lbs to hit my goal, praying this works.

What is your A1c? Sometimes thirst relates to diabetes.

What is your A1c? Sometimes thirst relates to diabetes.

Had you discussed this with your PCP before at any time? Perhaps its time to make an appointment and take the form that they need to sign to the PCP and have them sign it in front of you and give it to you so you can take it or send it back to your surgeon. It could be something going on with the office staff, it might be the PCP doesn't support your decision, it could be a lot of other things. Try one more time with a face to face and then decide if you need to change PCPs. Have you liked this PCP prior to this?
pam

Perhaps he was not totally honest about his availability?

Perhaps he was not totally honest about his availability?

Perhaps he was not totally honest about his availability?

Perhaps he was not totally honest about his availability?

Perhaps he was not totally honest about his availability?

I totally understand. My band has been empty for over 2 years, but I still have heartburn and can't eat vegetables or meats. food still gets stuck and I vomit and slime 2-3 times per week. Surgeon put me on protonix for the heartburn and it helps a lot. Hope you find a solution that works.

You look great - your pictures motivate me. Your posts have encouraged and Enlightened me.

The important thing is that you're getting back on track. I'm not sure since I've never been a regular size but I suspect this is what people who don't have a weight problem do. They Celebrate, they look at the scale, say "oops I gained a bit there. Time to watch what I eat for a couple of days!"
So don't be mad at yourself. You're acting like a thin person! That extra will come right off.

I think the real question here is "what is the problem you are trying to solve?"
There are people who choose open relationships/poly marriages because they want that
There are people who choose to have uncommitted / not exclusive relationships
There are people who avoid the whole deal and essentially have no strings attached type hookups
Heck, there are full blown swingers/sex club people
Then there are people who only seek exclusive, committed relationships
While the last one is what our society says women "should want" maybe that isn't your reality at this stage in life. I do think that counseling to explore this a little deeper might be good to be sure that you are actually happy and content with your choice. I personally think that the deceit and hiding things is immoral but the rest is really a lifestyle risk vs benefit choice you should make.
It seems to me that part of the process you are experiencing is finding the lifestyle YOU want. Let's face it, for a reasonably attractive woman, it is super super super easy to find willing sex partners and can be an ego boost. The question is, are you getting what you really need /want or is it a substitute for something you really need/want?
Attention and that initial attraction feels good and exciting, but I can tell you for sure - I am SO OVER IT. I have been at goal since Feb 2013. Do you feel that some of this is you like being wined/dined/seduced and actually paid attention to? Nothing wrong with that, but again know your motives, know what you want, be clear with prospective partners and let them decide if they want to be a part of it or not.
Side note - I have the opposite bias. I am single, I still want a sex life but I don't feel "safe" in this world of lots of partners. It is much harder to find a high quality committed exclusive relationship. What makes it even harder is I am apparently still dealing with a little bit of "fear" of committment myself. So it creates this crazy cycle where I want an exclusive, loving relationship but I get a bit panic stricken about giving up my much valued freedom (I am not talking sexual freedom, I mean everything else - ha!)

These are great questions. I am an introvert, and truly enjoy a lot of time on my own. However, I also know that I avoid new situations and experiences because I don't want to be judged. I, too, was the smart, fat girl - with glasses. I lived in my head and in my books. I'm hoping that as I lose weight I will find the courage to participate in and experience more of what life has to offer.

These are great questions. I am an introvert, and truly enjoy a lot of time on my own. However, I also know that I avoid new situations and experiences because I don't want to be judged. I, too, was the smart, fat girl - with glasses. I lived in my head and in my books. I'm hoping that as I lose weight I will find the courage to participate in and experience more of what life has to offer.

I am a revision.... However, not by choice I must say!
I can't speak as to what's different from the sleeve experience because my sleeve was so messed up that the 4.5 months I had it I couldn't eat or drink anything.
It kind of stinks that you have to go through it all over again (surgery...adding foods back...) I don't have dumping but I do think I became lactose intolerant (many are after RNY). I haven't had much dairy to check it out. According to my surgeon revisions need to be extremely cautious of anything that could cause ulcers because we are extra prone to getting them. We also have a much higher rate of stricture (I had a pretty severe one). Also, if something were to happen to our pouches, we don't have any stomach left to help fix the problem.
I don't want to be a wet towel by any means! I'll answer any questions you have that I can.