lapband78

Exactly! Agree! And congratulations for your 65 pounds! That's awesome!! Yeah some stuff I can't eat anymore since it makes me feel nauseated as well. This all feels like being born again, learning new stuff all the time Happy new year !

Christmas is over, it's January, a whole new year. New beginnings. So in my last blog I did talk about calories and there being a lot of them during Christmas. I did not step on the scale until this morning. I was dreading it!! Seriously. But I am my worst enemy. We are we so mean to our own mind, why do we think such bad thought about what we do? I was sure I'd gained at least 5 pounds! BUT!! I had lost weight!! yesssss so happy. Not much but hey! from thinking I'd gained 5 pounds to loosing a few grams hah! I'm happy with that After getting the lap band I've really missed carbonated drinks. Like carbonated water (no added flavors or sugar) and maybe a beer when out with friends. But I haven't had a single drop of beer or carbonated water since May last year. I did try a carbonated Christmas drink that we have in Iceland and it gave me nausea. But I wasn't giving up. And I won! I can drink carbonated drinks. I just have to be very careful!!. I don't drink diet or sugar drinks (pepsi, coke, mountain dew..) stopped that 4 years ago. But carbonated water mmm love it. Like the fizz. So what I have to do it to pour it in a glass. No drinking from a bottle. Let the fizz set so the drink looks "calm" (wait a minute or two) and then drink it. And then be careful, be extra careful to burp!! yes burp, that's the magic. But burping means I can't drink it anywhere. Not at work, restaurants or any public places. I know my manners haha. I can only drink it at home where I can give it a big loud burp. Because if you hold the burp, the nausea comes. I think I've developed a six pack under all that fat from all the stomach exercise on burping and well when I have Productive burping or food stuck. I never new I could manage stuff inside like that. I'm seeing my doctor on Wednesday. I'm going to ask for a fill because I kinda feel hungry about 3-4 hours after lunch. And I mean hungry, like I want to eat anything I see. Maybe that's Christmas aftermath. Maybe I'm thinking more about food now, something I didn't do so much after Christmas? Not sure. The brain is a tricky thing. I have now a 6.2 or 6.3 cc in my band and I think it's ok to put more in it. My doctor is careful with fillings and only wants to fill it with 0.1cc at a time (at least with me) Oh and this weekend is so difficult. I'm having the cravings, candy cravings. Like Chocolate! I have not and will not cave in. I'm thinking about how happy I was this morning when I stepped on the scale. So I will not have a single bite. But ugh hate days like these! ok so 2016 is starting very well and my goal is to loose about 20 pounds before April (omg!). I will succeed!

Christmas! My favorite time of the year where I can eat as much as I want of great food and lots and lots of candy. Everything is allowed! Hmmm no anymore! This is my first Christmas after the lapband and it's been different than the Christmases of the past. Here in Iceland, Christmas is a 13 day celebration. You can just imagine all the food involved in that celebration!! Main Christmas meal with my family was Beef Wellington. OMG it was so good but I ate so little and the slices were so thick that I had to throw half of it in the trash. I felt so bad throwing such a good food out. We had so much left over that I didn't even feel right keeping it for later eating. Also we are big on smoked meat. We have both smoked lamb and then smoked ham (ham for new years) and I just had a little amount. I can tell you that I have NOT failed my band. I am so happy yay This is the first Christmas in probably my entire adult life that I haven't felt sick because I ate too much. I was being so careful. But we do have appetizers and deserts ugh those are my worst enemies! I decided to enjoy Christmas and have a little of everything and I do mean little. Trust me I've been very careful of not over eating. I never felt this "ohh I'm full" feeling this Christmas. But eating little doesn't mean the calorie intake hasn't risen. But we have to live, we have to enjoy. And let's talk about that a little. I asked if I could eat some pop corn at a movie trip. I got the response that it's high in carbs and we should not do recreational eating. Ok ok, I totally get that. But I go to the movies literally once a year! I don't enjoy going to the movies so on special occasions I do go if someone asks me. And yes that's once a year. A small bag of popcorn (not American size), and I mean a small size, this one time will not do any harm, seriously. What it can do though is that you could begin to crave it and eat it more regularly at home, now that's bad. But a small bag, not even a 0.5l Coke bottle fits in it, will not do harm. I had some and well IF and I say IF I have some again, it will be as a meal because that little bag made me full. And also some of it got stuck and I didn't feel that at all until I drank water. So I don't know even if I want it again. I've done LOTs of diets, I've done really well but I have always given up! Why? because the restrictions were always so high. NEVER eat candy, NEVER eat cakes, NEVER eat any sweets, NEVER this and NEVER that. Sure it works for some people but we all go through our own paths in this fight. Don't judge if someone decides to NEVER have something or if someone allows them selves to have a little on special occasions. What ever works best for us. Like my doctor says, we are humans, we have to be nice to us once in a while, or else we will not manage. And once in a while does not mean every week, it means like once a month or on special occasions. So, I might not loose weight this Christmas but I'm totally fine with that. I've accomplished so much this Christmas, I've won many victories (throwing out left overs) and my Christmas is so much better now than before. I love it and I feel good After Christmas, I'm going to work harder on my goal. I have set a goal for April when I'm going to renew my clothes and I'm going to make it

Yeah I'm disappointed in myself. I had a doctors appointment today. I didn't gain weight but didn't loose much either or 800 gr / 1,7 pound in 1 freaking month. But I have nobody to blame other than myself. I'm finding this time of the year extremely difficult. I live in Iceland. Christmas is a huge thing here (no doubt it's like that in other countries that celebrate). The office is full with candy, cookies. I've been able to leave that alone but gosh it's still difficult. It's the deserts at the canteen that has been difficult. Ice cream, Belgian waffle with ice cream (omg!), chocolate mousse cake! Seriously you are killing a food addict! Then a Christmas buffet! ugh. I don't think I'm eating much much more than I did before, it's the calorie intake that has increased a lot. Then I had to help my mom bake cookies for Christmas, and cakes. Seriously it's all over! Calories calories calories. It's driving me insane. I talked it over with my doctor and he told me that I'm not the only one struggling right now. I just have to keep focus. At least I did not gain weight. And I asked for more fill in the band. I got 0,1cc in the band and after lunch my stomach got full with air, it just didn't want to go out! didn't feel that well. Might have been stress at well. But hopefully this fill will help a little and make me feel full sooner. Yeah this was a very bad month, Christmas isn't even here yet But I will get through this. My doctor told me that even though I gain weight after Christmas, it won't be the end of this. I will continue. But he did encourage me to be careful and eat carefully. I plan to do that and my goal is not to gain weight over Christmas.

Nope, not an alcoholic hehe. I just have some alcohol problems as in choosing what to drink. Before the lap band I mainly drank beer when out partying with friends. Now that's off the table I actually don't really miss beer since I never drink except when I'm going out to a club or loosen up with friends. That happens maybe 2-4 times a year so it's not something I'm crying over. Last night there was Christmas party at work and I wanted to dance and have fun. There were 3 kind of alcohol free of charge and it was beer, white wine and red wine. I chose white wine. I had a few glasses.. ok maybe a lot LOL but omg I woke up wanting to throw up! I have had a lot more to drink than last night so this very unusual. I did NOT want to throw up with the band, no way. So I do think that White Wine is off the table as well when I want to loosen up a bit. I think red wine will be the same. So that only leaves the hard stuff, like clear liquids. Rum or Vodka. Some would say Gin but my taste buds don't agree with that haha. I am also seriously thinking about never drinking alcohol again. It's not an important part of my life and well I should learn to party with out alcohol. Through many of my diets through the years, alcohol has been forbidden and it was no problem. Ok I didn't take on the dance floor but I can learn. This blog sounds like I'm obsessed with this. I'm really not. I'm writing this down so that I will remember when it comes to my next party in March. I will come back to this blog and be like .. ahhhh yes exactly, do not drink white wine. OH and for the very first time I received a lot of compliments on my weight! People said they really noticed that I lost a lot of weight yay so happy.

It's been 6 months since I got banded. To be honest, I haven't felt like exercising at all!! I mean I have been taking walks, parking my car far away from the entrance but no real exercise. I had anxiety about it. I mean moving that heavy body, gosh so difficult. But last week I felt how easier is it now. Just walking up a small hill and feel the difference from last time I walked up the hill. It gave me confidence and I decided that the first change I got, I was going to do something about it. So me, that LOVES to sleep and would sleep for as long as possible, woke up at 6 am (way to early for me) and went to the local swimming pool. I stopped going there a year ago since my weight was dragging me down (hah!). My swimsuit didn't fit and I just didn't feel comfortable.But now I bought a year membership and I'm going to use that for sure. So here in Iceland we have to take a shower before going into the pool. For the first time I felt proud of my scars, because they are a reminder. But nope, empty showers. I mean who wakes up that early!! seriously! haha. Ok ok I heard Americans do that a lot so ok you must think I'm nuts LOL. So nobody to show my scars too haha But ok my swimsuit! It's this slim-up swimsuit (LOL) and a year ago it did not fit me! It almost looked like a Playboy swimsuit, it was showing that much of my body haha. But this time omg it covered all the desired areas!!! I was so extremely happy. I've actually never fit into that swimsuit that well before, not even when I bought it. What a great energy kick that was. I decided to take it slow and swam 400 meters (438 yards?) since it was the first time I exercised in a long time. But it felt good. Can't wait to get into the pool again I know on this site there are a lot of stories about some amazing successes that people have made. Lost a lot more than I have and have achieved enormous success. Of course I'd like to be there, I mean who wouldn't?? But over the years doing all the dieting, trying to make life style changes and always failing, I have discovered that you have to do things your own way. You have to do it in the speed that you know you can do it in. If I try to overdo stuff, I do fail, that's just how I am. So taking babysteps works for me. I know I will not fail if I do it in babysteps. But I do read other success stories, the inspire me and I love how we are different and how we go through this journey differently. As long as I am happy, as long as my doctor is happy then I'm doing things right for me. But 40 pounds gone Swimsuit fits me better than ever before All my clothes are getting bigger Need a new wardrobe Feeling more confident That in itself is a victory. Not the biggest victory, but still a victory. I've got 2 major milestones left. 1 when I will not be eligible for a gastric bypass here in Iceland and 2,2 pounds until I have officially never lost as much weight. I decided to set myself small milestones to celebrate and no I won't award myself with food !!! After those milestones, the next one is in 10 kg /22 pounds that I want to loose before April. That's when I'm going to travel to America and buy new clothes Love those new milestones

I met my doctor on Wednesday and I've lost 18kg/40 pounds!! I was so happy. And he was very happy with me. He didn't want to give me a fill since I'm doing really well. He also said I'm putting too much pressure on myself. That he was happy and I should be as well. I should read too much about how much other people are loosing because our bodies do not work the same. But I'm incredibly happy. Also this is kind of a milestone. This is the second time I've lost 40 pounds in one run .... and well then I gained weight again. But this time, I'm going to get further, I'm going to loose more so ever pound after this will be a new milestone yay. This Friday I was sooooo hungry at lunch that I was dreaming of all kinds of food I was gonna eat that day. I had an omelette at work. I ate a bit too much. I ate until I was full and I never do that. But hunger does that to you. I was full all day! I couldn't imagine eating dinner even. I did but just a little. Before the lap band, if I got full, I could begin to eat again in 2 hours but not now. And guess what, I love it. This rarely happens that I eat so much. maybe happened 3-4 times in 6 months. I told my doctor that I was still learning and he understood that. I will do mistakes and learn from them. Ok 3-4 times eating to much haha, ok I might be a slow learner hehe But I'm so happy now. I tried on a dress I wore last Christmas and it's too big now And my panties. Seriously, I need to renew them! They are a size too big. My bra is still the same size ugh! hate that. But I was telling a coworker how much I'd lost and she told me that she noticed my hips ass getting smaller and yay again! soooo happy! I've always hated my hips and ass. I would do the Kardashians proud. They were even large when I was in a normal weight. But so far so good! loving my new life

Yeah I'm so happy. Ok the back story: 2 years ago, I was exercising a lot and was heavier than I'm today. I went to a trip and did a lot of walking and it was difficult. Today: not exercising almost at all (I know I know) but not as heavy and today I went on the same trip and it was easier to do the exact same walk!! OMG so happy and I have to tell you that it has given me a confidence boost! For the first time, I feel like I can go out there and exercise and win a marathon! no ok not a marathon! Ever haha. I've been afraid to go out there, to exercise because it's been difficult. All the heavy breathing, red face like I'm about to explode. But gosh today! A new life! I could actually do the walk (up a hill) without being out of breath like 2 years ago. All because of less weight on my body! This is so motivating and I just had to write this down so that I would remember and that I can always go back to this memory if I'm feeling down. Oh and I can't eat rice!!! so no sushi for me but hey! I can walk up a hill without loosing my breath! so worth it

Since being banded I have changed my lifestyle a lot. I don't eat as much, eat 2 meals a day and 1 smaller meal, so kind of 2 and half meal a day. I only eat stuff I like and some food I don't even like anymore because after I had to chew and chew and chew, the taste just is that good anymore haha. But to tell you the truth, I could cheat once in a while and have something not that healthy and still loose weight. But now after almost 6 months, it's ALL up to me!! If I cheat, I don't loose weight or at least not as much. I'm learning and I think I'll keep on learning (hopefully hah!). For example, I need to drink more water than I used to. I try to drink 1 liter before lunch. I do believe that if you think that the band is going to do the job for you, then you are going to fail, you are not going to meet your weight goal. We all have to remember that. Touch you scar and think about what you have gone through and what a powerful tool you have in there. I have my ups and down, I loose much weight one week and hardly anything the next week. It's a battle that I will win, it will take time but I will!

It's almost been 6 months since I had the lap band surgery. Still the best thing I've done for my body! I admit that I'd like to have lost more weight specially when I read about how much other people have lost. But I'm at 15 kg or 33 pounds. I had 1 month set back because of sickness and travel, I have to remember that. I also have to remember that this is not a competition, that I'm doing this for myself and nobody else. Also that I'm only 3 kg or 6.6 pounds away from a personal milestone. Can't wait. I also have to remember that for the first time in 20 years, I'm living a normal life. I chose to live normal and not diet. I eat like other people do. Ok I eat a LOT less than what other people do but I now can enjoy food like other people do. I allow myself to have a cake if there is a cake at the office, or ice cream if there is some at the office. Just a small amount for the taste and no seconds! Before the lap band, I NEVER had any sweets and it was mentally destroying me that I never allowed myself to do anything and still gain weight. Yes I did and by over eating normal food. But because I allow myself to have a cake, ice cream, candy.. (no not too often!! seriously) then I loose weight slower than I could. But I also always check if the cake (omg love cakes) are worth it, worth the calories. For example 2 days ago at work there was a store bought chocolate cake. I like home made more, so I decided it was not worth it. I mean it would have tasted ok but not worth it since it wasn't a fantastic cake! Also there was ice cream for desert at work and mmmmm I wanted some really badly. But nope, I decided not to have some since I was going out in the weekend and there is a birthday party I'm going to as well. So I do have self control I went partying yesterday for the first time. I was a bit nervous so I decided not to go to a club. Just stay at the party at a friends place. I had white wine. There was beer but nope no carbonated drinks. I had read that some people don't need a lot of drinks to get a little tipsy so I was kinda expecting that. But nope, it was the same as before the lap band. I had to drink the same amount to feel a little tipsy. I didn't want to get drunk and loose control and throw up. My doctor and reading about the lap band have all warned about that. But I never get that drunk anyway so I wasn't that worried. I always just get a little tipsy and happy But I don't like alcohol that much so I was hoping I only needed 2 or 3 glass of white wine. Maybe when I loose more weight, I will need less. Oh gosh this is such a luxurious problem haha. So this is the day after, slight hung over as in head ache and no binge eating or wanting really greasy unhealthy food so yay I've been a good girl. That's it for now

Ok so my edema has been bothering me. To explain, I gained 2kg or 4.4 pounds over night this morning! And no I did not eat that much. This just happens *sigh* But ok now it's evening and I've lost most of it again. But I can hardly eat for breakfast and lunch. So what to do? I've decided to approach things differently. I don't eat breakfast and I have no problem with that. For lunch I've decided to go back to basic. Mashed food and liquid. I had a mashed banana (I like that), small protein drink and a small smoothie. Now I'll see how long I manage that. I was a bit hungry at 4 pm when I came back home but I was careful not to overeat. So now I'm going to stop complaining and adjust. I've seen that other people also have problems with AM eating so I'm there as well. But every time I have to pull up my pants or even panties (haha), makes me very happy and gosh never turning back!

Good luck on your new journey and no you didn't fail the band. The band failed you.

awww how sweet, thank you I thought nobody was reading and I was only blogging for my self Thank you for your kind words Good luck on your journey

In Iceland we are big on traditions, at least my family. Ok probably all countries have their traditions. On Christmas, we always have this special drink, it's Orange Soda (kinda like Fanta) mixed with a Malt drink (non alcoholic) Both are carbonated. I love this drink. I could drink liters of it every day for Christmas, and well yes Easter as well. But lap band doesn't allow carbonated drinks. I tried one glass of it last weekend and I didn't feel that good. I had nausea that didn't go away until I let out a huge burp 3-4 hours later! How am I going to survive without that drink??? But I will I know I will. I will just find something really good instead. I tried a hot apple cider the other day that I made myself. It was seriously good but full of calories. I'm going to make that drink for Christmas as a special occasion. Then we LOVE our smoked meat. I love it as well. My fave meat actually. Nope, can't eat it. Had it last weekend as well (dads bday) and I had problems with lunch all week. I could get some down and wasn't hungry but I had Productive Burping every day and I had to deliver some in the toilet. And I was at work! OMG but I eat by my desk so that I can eat at my own speed and not worry about other people. I think this week has mentally been the most difficult since I went off liquid diet at the beginning. The smoked meat gave be lots of edema and I can't follow food tradition anymore. But I saw the weight go down anyway! 0.4 pounds or 200 grams. Not a lot but with edema, it is something. It made me happy, yes that tiny weight loss did everything for me. I'm always learning, maybe a slow learner and I do the same mistake twice or ok three times haha, but I have to avoid smoked food and salt. If I do have those things, I have to suck it up and well feel bad for a week. Is it worth it? nope not worth it. I even thought while this was going on, if I regretted the lap band, but nope, still love it. I can survive the productive burping, the slime and the fluid. I already feel overall better in my body. My underwear is even too big now! gosh haha, what a lovely feeling. Ok very bad for my bank account but it feels so good that my panties are about to slide down by itself if you get what I mean And today I saw that I have a follower on my blog a woman who had the surgery at the same time I did and my blog is helping her. I saw her comment 1 month late. But wow that made me happy. I always thought I was just blogging for myself. Talking about my failures and how my mind works through all this. I'm glad someone like my blog For those who don't know what edema is, it is excessive fluid in our body. Your face is like a balloon when you wake up and your fingers are like sausages. When you touch your skin, it doesn't feel like your own body, feels like jelly in there. Then the longer you are awake, then the fluid goes from your upper body and to your feet. But that doesn't bother me as much as when it's in my face, fingers and around the band.

Today I had my third fill since my surgery on May 8th. I have now got about 6.1 ml/cc in the band. The fill was painful!! The nurse was stuck the needle in and was moving the needle inside of me to find the port opening. She told me to push my body like I was doing a push up and I had to hold that position for 5 min to keep the port still. OMG it was painful!! I asked for a break because it was starting to hurt really bad where she had the needle. By then the doctor noticed that something was wrong and came to me. He took a new needle and stuck it in (omg it hurt because I was so sore) and found the port after like 30 sec. He then told me that the port is lying with the opening at the side. Ok sorry for the language but F*** that S*** sorry, but it hurt, really hurt. And now I'm really sore and have a blue mark. I kept thinking, where is that X-ray machine some doctors use when making that fill! Seriously ugh. I like my doctor but I don't like pain. I'm gonna remember this next time and tell them that the port is sideways. I might even opt for an operation to fix it. But let's see what happens. Anyway, I'm slightly under the curve for the weight loss. I'm 31 pounds down since May 8th. Trust me, I'm happy! really happy. I haven't had this weight for YEARS! but I'm disappointed in myself for not staying on the curve. But my doctor and I blame it on my trip to Spain where I didn't stay on a health diet. I'm going to prove to myself that I can be on the curve in the beginning of December. He said I'd be there in January but I'm putting some pressure on myself now. I admit that the two weeks since I went on the vacation have been really difficult mentally. I was so sick on the vacation and soon after I got home, I was laying in bed for 3 days. My throat hurt really bad and well ice cream helped a LOT. Felt like when I had my tonsils removed. And trust me, ice cream does not help with weight loss haha. Don't judge though and think I'm not ready for this battle. I had a relapse. I did loose weight through this period, just not enough weight. I am now on the straight and narrow and back on track. I think you learn from a relapse. Being sick isn't a good thing and you seek things that make you feel good. I have been mentally ill as well a few years back. People were either getting sick or dying around me. I took it hard and had depression. I gained a LOT of weight. But I have learned from that experience. I know the warning signs. Food will not be my friend like that again. Now I have learned about physical illness and food can't be my friend there either. I will not allow it. Weight loss is a battle. You might think you have it all, you had a surgery, you are mentally ready for this, physically ready but what makes you stronger is if you can stand up again when you fall down. That will make you stronger in this weight loss battle. But 31 pound is something to be proud of and I'm going to remember all the milestones and reach for the next one. I can't wait!