Kfohiotime4change

I'm 7 months out from my gastric sleeve and have exceeded my weight loss goal. I'm down to around 169-170 lbs from 278, a "normal" BMI and thrilled with my results. I get praised all the time about "how great I look", and how I just keep getting smaller (I'm still a size 10--but tiny compared to the size 20 I started at). Confession time: over the last 2 months my diet Dr Pepper habit has come back with a vengeance, and along with it has come "little bits" here and there of sugar and junk food. Instead of 80 oz of Water per day, I've been drinking about 36 oz of soda...and 20 oz of water at the gym. Now those little tastes of junk food are becoming a daily occurrence. For a while I've been living in denial, thinking I could get away with this behavior because I haven't gained weight. The truth is, I'm lying to myself and setting myself up for failure. My story feels similar to a lot of others I've read on here, only at least I have the benefit that hopefully I've caught and can curb this behavior before the weight starts to slide back on. I'm terrified I will gain all the weight back. So this is me and my confession, on day 1 of sugar and diet soda detox again. I realize now more than ever that the sleeve is wonderful, but if I can't permanently change my habits, the sleeve isn't going to help me in the long term.

I'm almost a month post op and I went to the gym for the first time today and decided to take some selfies. When I got home I looked through my phone and found pictures I had taken back in June when I began my physician supervised weight loss visits. The before and after thus far is amazing! I still have a long long way to go, but wow!

Glad to hear you are doing well EnglishDan! ????

I know exactly what you mean! All of a sudden, clothes start to fit and I have no idea what to wear. For the first time in years, I bought two pair of dress pants off the rack at JCPenneys...sounds so simple but it was a huge milestone. I was sleeved June 8 and am down 35lbs (50 total pre and post) but almost two sizes it seems. I'm in my late fifties too and it's all overwhelming! I've been planning how to act for so long, now that I can I don't know how! I guess we have to take it a day at a time and see where we end up...I don't know but at least you are in good company!

OMG, I love your gothic style!! I love all that stuff! I love steampunk stuff too.

@,
Feeling the style100%.
I like the edgy punk factor. Love the black. I think I'm going for a "If Lenny Kravitz were a woman" sorta look. LOL Definitely some overlap.
Thanks for sharing.

Hi All,
I know this is a little (or a lot) out of the ordinary for this site, but you all have been a huge support on my WLS journey so far and, well, I need an outlet and some support. I'm not looking for advice or condemnation of my wife, just support and listening ears, and maybe a bridge if anyone on here has gone through something similar. It's a bit of a long story, so thanks for reading.
I met my wife in kindergarten - by the end of September, I'd already proposed. Curiously, she said no. I tried again in December, again, she said no. In all, I think I proposed to her 8 times before we had finished second grade, I asked her out throughout middle and high school, and then, during her senior year of college, after having been best friends for most of our lives, she finally said yes. My dreams came true.
Our marriage has been wonderful, she always has been and always will be my best friend. But sex was never particularly satisfying - I loved it, but knew she wasn't getting much out of it and wasn't attracted to me sexually. It was hard, but our relationship was well worth it. She wasn't gay, we thought, she may not have been attracted to me, but she wasn't attracted physically to anyone. Maybe she was asexual.
Two months ago, we decided together she should pursue counselling to help her work through her own sexuality, to help her know if she was asexual, or repressing her sexuality as the result of some childhood trauma that I won't get into, or something else altogether. We put all sex and physical intimacy on hold to give her the space to go through her process. It was hard, sex is very important to me, but worth it. I never really imagined that what happened last night would come.
Last night she said she wanted to give me an update on her process. "Smye," she said. "I wanted to let you know that in the last few weeks I've felt some stirrings of sexual attraction for the first time and it's scared me really badly. But it's absolutely been happening."
HELL YES, I thought. FINALLY!
Then came the bomb. "And I want you to know, Smye, it's only been towards women. I'm not going to put a label on it yet, I'd give anything to have attraction to you, and maybe I still will. But so far I'm only attracted to women."
S***, S***, S***. I love her, she's still my best friend. And I'm thankful as hell that there's no affair going on to deal with.
I wouldn't trade the 7 years we've had as man and wife so far for anything. And I know she still loves me as much as ever. But it hurts like hell, I don't have a clue what's next, but the research I've (perhaps foolishly done) suggests that only 1/6 of mixed-orientation marriages survive more than 2 years after disclosure. I don't want to lose my wife, I don't want to lose my best friend. But, even if magically she wakes up tomorrow and is attracted to me as the one man she finds attractive, the marriage I thought I had is dead. No matter what happens, I know I need to grieve that.
And I've reached out to the straight spouse network. But while I'm waiting to hear back, having no clue what's next or how I'll even survive the next 10 minutes, I know I need to tell someone and come out of my own closet, so to speak. Has anyone else here been through something similar? Or do you have words of support? I do NOT want "it's god's will" or "it'll be okay" or "it all happens for a reason" etc, nor condemnation of my wife, my marriage, etc. I trust her implicitly, know that this blindsided her as much as it did me, and know too that our marriage was/is based on an incredible friendship that still exists. So don't go hating.
Neither do I want advice. I don't have a clue what it is I'm asking for exactly, but I hurt like hell, I'm terrified, and I know I ought to reach out to keep myself sane. Thanks!
EDIT - PLEASE READ BEFORE REPLYING:
To everyone, thank you again for your support! This is still very much a work in progress and I will be keeping everyone here up to date - for my own therapy if nothing else. A quick note though before lending me your love and support (unless you just want to say 'I hear you, I love you, here are some digital hugs, and take care/let us know if you need anything' - then go for it.)
I HIGHLY recommend you read the entire thread before posting yourself, I know how therapeutic this has been for me. I've received several PM's from folks about how your responses have helped them and/or given them grace for a loved one they didn't previously understand and even one from a person who is considering whether or not to come out to his/her partner him/her-self. And there's also the selfish reason I'd like you to read it all first - the few responses I've gotten that have felt more hateful towards Mrs. Smye and, despite the authors' intentions, hateful towards me and my choices as a result could, I think, have been prevented had the author had the entire up-to-date picture.

Ok so after 24 days of the same weight I woke up -2 lbs!! Thank you sweet baby jesus. 2lbs is nothing for some people but it's pretty major for me. Now let's hope it stays off thanks for everyone's encouragement and advice.

I count them meticulously!!! I have zero carb Protein Powder I mix with almond milk with has 1/2 a carb in 8 oz. and for my meals I eat chicken, eggs, tuna, pork loin, ground chicken etc all that have very little to no carbs. The carbs I do get come from green veggies but I'm usually full from my 2-3 oz of lean meats so my carb intake is low. To which I contribute loosing 30lbs in 5 weeks Oh and there are a few carbs also in my Fiber gummies also but I have to have my fiber lol

Thank you so much!! As of this morning I hit 100 pounds lost!! Yay!!
Thank you!!

I am 8 months post op. I am down 99.5 pounds. That number doesn't even seem real. This journey is so amazing. We are the only ones who will ever understand the highs, lows, and complete life changing situations that come with weight loss surgery. Some days are great, some days are not. Whenever I have a bad day I get on this site and read everyone's success and tips. I also look back at old pictures to see how far I have come. I encourage everyone to do the same. Make some before and after collages. You will feel amazing in no time! The before pic is two months before surgery. The after is about 7 months post op.

Although now it is dated, i learned so much about dressing from "what not to wear". Learn how to dress flattering for your changed body type (shape is most important factor!)
I found while losing weight i liked dresses and skirts becaues they are more forgiving than slacks on fit as I was losing weight. During that, I remembered I LIKE wearing dresses! I stopped because when I was obese, cute shoes killed my feet so I went to slacks 100%.
I think you find your style over time. I did shopping trips at stores where they actually help you (rare these days!). Went shopping with a friend. Went shopping alone and took alot of selfie pix. I do think you need to really try on alot of stuff because it is really about how something looks on YOUR body not the hanger.

I'm trying to figure this out as right now. A couple of problems I'm having now that I'm so close to goal:
The last time I was this size was 20 years ago. I am an almost 50 year old woman (well, 48) now. I'm trying really hard as a size 6-8 to resist the urge to buy and wear the clothes meant for women in their 20's and 30's. I mean, some of them are so cute! But I would probably look ridiculous in some of them, lol. But I also want to show off my new figure and not dress like an old woman. I've been going online and researching quite a bit on how to dress my age but still be sexy
Now that I'm pretty darn close to goal, I know now I can finally go out and start my new wardrobe. I have picked and searched my way through clearance racks on my way down. I know I've spent quite a bit of money, too. I'm a Realtor, so I still have to keep a professional wardrobe. I've done all my summer shopping, (some of those clothes are even now too big) but now fall will be upon us and I will need a whole new fall wardrobe. It's getting expensive! But now at least I know I won't be going down much more, so what I buy I keep. I know it's a good problem to have, and I love clothes shopping now, but damn my credit cards have been getting a work out!
Clearance racks, discount stores and consignment stores will be your friend throuout this, and by the time you've hit goal you can hopefully figure out your own style for the more "permanent" purchases.

I know exactly what you mean! All of a sudden, clothes start to fit and I have no idea what to wear. For the first time in years, I bought two pair of dress pants off the rack at JCPenneys...sounds so simple but it was a huge milestone. I was sleeved June 8 and am down 35lbs (50 total pre and post) but almost two sizes it seems. I'm in my late fifties too and it's all overwhelming! I've been planning how to act for so long, now that I can I don't know how! I guess we have to take it a day at a time and see where we end up...I don't know but at least you are in good company!

This is something I'm still figuring out. I went from a size 22 in pants and size 3xl in shirts to a size 2-3 in pants and a small/med in tops. I've gone through ALOT of clothes during this journey and while doing so it seemed easy for me to find things that fit and that I liked but I think the "like" part was only because I wasn't buying them from the plus size section so I went a little crazy at first:-) Now that I'm where I want to stay I'm having a hard time finding things I both like and I feel fit me right that are age appropriate. I spent too many years in baggy oversized clothes so now I find myself wanting to stay away from anything that fits too loosely even though I may like it to avoid that same feeling, however, I also don't want to walk around in something that's too form fitting because I don't feel comfortable so finding something in between that is cute is some times a challenge but it's one I love taking on.
The best thing I've found is more of a form fitting shirt layered with a crop jean jacket, blazer, tiered cardigan etc. Venus.com is my new on-line obsession!:-) Oh and I'm ALL ABOUT THE BLING:_)
I 100% agree that finding the right under garments are KEY to finding the right fit for your clothes!

Initially I made a decision only to tell my husband, best friend and friends/work colleagues I go for lunch with during the week. My Manager knew too. I left it like that for weeks and that's how I wanted it to stay. However the week before the surgery date, some people at work had noticed that I was marked off sick for a month on our team calendar and asked if I was having issues with my neck (I have spinal stenosis) and decided have an op and I just told them the truth. For me, at that time, It felt quite liberating !!

I know exactly what you mean! All of a sudden, clothes start to fit and I have no idea what to wear. For the first time in years, I bought two pair of dress pants off the rack at JCPenneys...sounds so simple but it was a huge milestone. I was sleeved June 8 and am down 35lbs (50 total pre and post) but almost two sizes it seems. I'm in my late fifties too and it's all overwhelming! I've been planning how to act for so long, now that I can I don't know how! I guess we have to take it a day at a time and see where we end up...I don't know but at least you are in good company!

I too have taken this journey in my later 50s and after 150 lbs. lost, I can tell you that it is a learning experience. Stick with less expensive options while you are losing. This way, when you no longer fit it an outfit, it won't feel like a waste of money when you put it aside and if it's not a good look for you, again..the cost won't be such an issue.
I bought things plenty of times that once home, I said to myself, 'what was I thinking??'. These days however, I get lots of compliments on my clothing. It's a learning curve but you will over time, get to know what works for you and what doesn't.
The best part....is that shopping is now fun for me. I love it now and was only three years ago, I dreaded it.

@@Kfohiotime4change, congrats on those two new pairs of pants! Those milestones are so important and special!
@@Babbs, I know just what you mean about wanting to look great, and sexy, but not like I'm trying to look like I'm dressing in clothes meant for a 20-something. I guess I'll have to hit the clearance racks, too. Luckily there is a GREAT consignment shop right in my neighborhood.
@, I totally get the dark clothes thing too. I shudder to be thought of as the big-floral-print-fat-lady-in-the-muumuu cliche. But I totally plan to rock those colors!
@@Inner Surfer Girl, @@ShrinkingPeach, and Jess, those are great ideas too. I've avoided fashion mags, because they weren't relevant to me. I think I tend toward the more boho look too, with a bit of classic thrown in, but I'm just not sure. I guess I'll have to stop ordering online (I HATE trying on clothes; it is so humiliating and depressing -- but hopeful that will change!)

I am 51 and have never been the correct size. For me, I am looking at other women and taking notice of their style and what they wear. When I get to goal I want to be classic but not too dressy. I think by the time I get there I will have some idea of what I want. I am a pretty casual person and not too dressy and I wear scrubs for work.
I would suggest the same, observe other women in your age group and get ideas on style from them. Look at the grocery store, the doctor's office, etc. You will see things you like and there will be your answer.

I need/want to figure this out myself. I am nowhere near being able to fit in regular-sized clothes but I am starting to think about this.
I recently subscribed to Vogue. I haven't read a fashion magazine in years so that was a big step. I have also subscribed to some catalogs I think are close to my taste (J. Jill, Talbots, etc.) just to see what is out there.
I know that as I approach goal I am going to need some help, so plan to consult a personal shopper at a department store at some point.
One thing is for sure, I plan to shop carefully and only buy clothes I truly love.
One good thing about being as old as we are (I am 51), is that many of the styles I liked when I was a teenager are coming back around again!

I always wore dark clothes because I didn't want to stand out. One time I wore a red dress to an event and I almost had an anxiety attack because I felt everyone was looking at me.
Now that I'm smaller I find I really REALLY love bright colors. I went shopping at Macy's for a few new dresses because I had no idea what size I wore and I ended up in MEDIUM. I almost cried in the dressing room because I actually liked what I saw.
I suggest just diving in and grabbing things that appeal to your eye. Try a few pieces that you think would show off your new physique. I still end up wearing a sweater with almost everything because I'm not comfortable having attention drawn to myself but I'm working on it ????

I know exactly what you mean! All of a sudden, clothes start to fit and I have no idea what to wear. For the first time in years, I bought two pair of dress pants off the rack at JCPenneys...sounds so simple but it was a huge milestone. I was sleeved June 8 and am down 35lbs (50 total pre and post) but almost two sizes it seems. I'm in my late fifties too and it's all overwhelming! I've been planning how to act for so long, now that I can I don't know how! I guess we have to take it a day at a time and see where we end up...I don't know but at least you are in good company!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been obese for a long time. I am in my late fifties, and my question is kind of crazy for my age: What is my "style"? I used to have cute clothes, when I was thinner, but I'm much older now. As a heavy person, I've done my best to dress attractively and with style. But three factors have led me to not love the clothes I've worn for the last many years.
First, feeling so bad about myself has taken away my desire to dress well. I guess I've felt that very little I could do made me look really cute or attractive. Even when I was happy and confident with an outfit, I'd always second-guess myself. Or see a dreaded photo or image in a mirror and be able to focus on nothing but the bumps and rolls.
Second, I've always tried to hide and cover up my fat as much as possible: Spanx, nylons under pants (although I mostly stopped that a couple of years ago), three-quarter or long sleeves, nothing too form-fitting, etc. So, while there were clothes out there I would have loved, I didn't wear them because I didn't think they would look good on my body type or I was too-self-conscious.
And third, of course, is the lack of stylish clothes available for heavier women.
I am so looking forward to being able to buy -- and look good in! -- smaller clothes. And emptying out my closet of all the cheap clothes I bought (and, sadly, a few good pieces that will no longer fit). I plan to shop at thrifts and consignment stores during the weight loss period, but once I reach goal, I want to have a smaller wardrobe -- in both senses of the word! Good-quality pieces that will last and that are versatile. But I find that I'm not sure now what my style is. And I don't want to waste a lot of money buying too many things as I figure it out.
I know this won't be a problem for a lot of people, who seem to have been born with a "look" or style. And actually, "problem" is totally the wrong word. I'm really looking forward to being able to express myself and have fun through clothes. But I don't want to clog up my closet with junk purchased on a whim, and I don't want to waste money buying too many things, especially good pieces that I won't end up wearing long-term.
So, I guess I'd like to know if anyone else experienced this, and how you approached this wonderful, brave new world of getting to buy cute clothes and figuring out your own style? How did you go about building a new wardrobe? Did you cut out or Pinterest looks you liked as you were losing weight? Any other tips?

My garden has been soooo prolific with only two zucchini plants this summer I've been searching for recipes. I've done and loved zucchini tots and chips and noodles... But this is my latest obsession I thought I'd share!
Zucchini tortillas! I use them for quesadillas, wraps, soft tacos, etc. one warning, in my oven they take about half the time listed. LOVE THEM!
http://whiteonricecouple.com/recipes/zucchini-soft-taco-shells/