butterfly23

Totally agree @@Kindle! No WLS regrets, yet my gallbladder infection 6 months post-op because of rapid weight loss (cholecystitis sure is painful!!!) was by far the worst part for me.

Totally agree @@Kindle! No WLS regrets, yet my gallbladder infection 6 months post-op because of rapid weight loss (cholecystitis sure is painful!!!) was by far the worst part for me.

Totally agree @@Kindle! No WLS regrets, yet my gallbladder infection 6 months post-op because of rapid weight loss (cholecystitis sure is painful!!!) was by far the worst part for me.

Totally agree @@Kindle! No WLS regrets, yet my gallbladder infection 6 months post-op because of rapid weight loss (cholecystitis sure is painful!!!) was by far the worst part for me.

Lately, this has been driving me nuts. We don't all have the same opportunities for education, nor do we have the same backgrounds but we can all make an effort to improve the quality of our comments and arguments (not in the bickering sense) by referring back to some trusty critical thinking skills.
Here are just a few of the nonsensical, circular logical tendencies I see on a regular basis here:
The straw man:
When you create an argument that doesn't exist as a way to shutdown someone'a comment.
Ex:
Commenter A: "I think a preop diet plan should be treated as a prescription by the patient, not as a suggestion."
Commenter B: "Well, if you think everything a doctor says is always right, my mother got really sick by taking a prescription drug that her doctor gave her!"
See the problem? Commenter A never suggested that everything a doctor says is right. The comment was simply stating as far as preop diets go, it isn't a suggestion but rather "doctor's orders".
Ad Hominen:
In this fallacy, you attack a person instead of their argument.
Commenter A: "I think a preop diet plan should be treated as a prescription from your doctor, and not just as a suggestion."
Commenter B: "Come on down off of your high horse and stop being so condescending! We're all here to support each other and your arrogant attitude isn't helping anyone!"
See the problem? Name calling doesn't actually address the perceived problem with the argument. Not liking someone doesn't mean they are wrong, and it's a logical fallacy to let your personal feelings about a person cloud your judgment on their opinions.
False Dichotomy:
This fallacy misconstrues an argument by setting up an either/or scenario when there are multiple options available.
Commenter A: "I plan to follow my doctor's post op plan, because he knows better than I do about how this whole process works."
Commenter B: "it's not like you'll die if you don't follow the doctor's advice exactly as written!"
See the problem? Commenter A never suggested that the only possible outcomes were living or dying. There are a multitude of possible effects, including none whatsoever, that could result from not following the doctor's plans.
Ad Populum:
In this fallacy, you assume that because many people believe or do something, therefore it is safe.
Commenter A: "I plan to follow my surgeon's plans, because there are lots of problems that could arise if I don't."
Commenter B: "Basically no one is perfect, okay? We all cheated at some point either preop or postop and hardly anyone has serious complications from it. It's no big deal!"
See the problem? Just because many people believe that cheating has little or no ramifications, does not make it so. We are only a small sample of people who have had WLS, so our forum's results are already skewed. I don't know any astronauts, that doesn't mean they don't exist.
The Appeal to Authority:
Here, we assume that because someone with authority makes an argument, it is somehow correct.
Commenter A: "I plan to follow my doctor's advice on not exercising for 8 weeks post op, because of all the problems it could create while I am healing."
Commenter B: "Yeah, well I've been doing this much longer than you and I was fine excercising right after surgery. You need to be increasing physical activity as soon as possible, trust me - I would know."
See the problem? Commenter B never addressed the possible issues that could arise from exercise, but simply stated that since s/he has more experience with WLS, his/her opinion is correct.
There are dozens and dozens more of these, but this is pretty basic stuff we learned in high school. Your mileage may vary, but now you know.
Now go forth and let's all try to make sense when we disagree with other people!

I am super proud of myself today! I meal prep for the week as I type, baked chicken breast low carb veggies, salads and Protein shakes, getting my 7 days ready! Sunday will be me day and prep day! Got in a 1 mile walk, not much but better than I have been the last 9 months! I have to remember to keep myself grounded and well Rome was not built in a day, so I am in for the life change I must face for the long haul!
Other thing I did not realize how far I fell short, my vitamins! All those are portioned and zip-lock bagged for easy daily consumption!
Thank you my new found friends/ WLS sisters & brothers, I appreciate all your help understanding, guidance and even scolding at times we all need the reality check!

Hi All, Thanks for taking time from your busy day to read this and maybe help a fellow sleever out!
Quick facts I am FEMALE, 2 years out from Surgery Sept 2014
Highest weight 347 - lowest thus far 234
currently 277 (fully clothed heavy clothes on phone/key ect.. in pocket at doctors yesterday due to a cold)
I try to eat healthy most the time, but often fail due to a few silent sabotage's or piss poor planning on my part to ensure I don't succeed. I take full ownership of where I currently stand and choosing to eat some very unhealthy things at times due to convenience. But I am worried I have stretched my sleeve, but then I sit with my tiny plate and realize no that's not the case, rather I have begun to graze!
Graze I do and on crap, I used to self soothe with food and was a huge compulsive stress binge eater, I have tackled many of those issues and talk myself down when I can but still find myself failing miserably.
I have a few friends who had surgery around the time I did and they ALL met goal or are within lbs of it, I think that is part of my problem I am trying to compare my loss to theirs. But then I know logically that cant be done as each journey is INDEPENDENT of each other!
My issue is at times I have to work 48 straight and planning with food or even the time to eat it, is at best HORRID! I used to make sure I ALWAYS had at least Protein shakes within reach and other healthy low cal things. But at 3am when NOTHING IS open but the crap place even the so called healthy items they offer are CRAP...
Guess my rant and need is has anyone else NEVER reached GOAL, FALLEN off track, somehow picked them self up and got it right the second time!
I am at the point I am looking at myself as a complete and utter failure for the lack of follow through!
HELP ME!
PS... If you did the pouch test / reset which one did you use and which was most effective!
~ChunkyChicTrying

Going back to basics was really enlightening to me, and today on my 1.5 year surgiversary, I am grateful for BP and anyone who takes the time to read my post.
I've lost 175 plus pounds and yet struggle every day with disappointment and shame with myself that it is not more because I allowed carbs to creep back in.
Yet, this is not about the loss, it is about the gain of lifelong skills to be healthy and make healthy choices, not just in food/drink but in life.
I had a very nice weight loss from this week, but more importantly re-connected with my mindfulness about what I put in my mouth. I am back to tracking, and my restriction feels increased, and my cravings are less.
Other lessons learned:
feeling guilt and shame about what I put in my mouth is not helpful, and often triggers unhealthy choices. (and the need to balance compassion with accountability) I used my weight as boundary and now with much less weight to protect me, my vulnerability can lead to fear which leads to cravings (and the need to develop non-weight boundaries) after periods of success, I seem to sabotage myself with both "oh you can handle this" or "its only a matter of time before you mess up, might as well do it now" which both leads to unhealthy choices (need to dive deeper here to figure out why - I feel like I do not deserve to succeed and use mindfulness to interrupt these moments) because of massive childhood trauma, it is very challenging for me to take care of myself, I get burned out and rebel by not using my skills purposefully (need to practice more self-compassion) Wow, this post got much longer than I meant. If you got to this point, thank you for reading. I have to admit, it is very humbling to try and be authentic and real here and share my story, especially with my shame (which is exactly why I am doing it). I also don't expect many will read to this point, my posts don't seem to garner much interest but they are cathartic for me.
I appreciate those on this site committed to doing this work for themselves and others, please continue to post what helps you maintain change as it inspires me!

I was at a local restaurant today and apparently, they had one chocolate cookie left (I hadn't noticed). They offered me the cookie and my first response was "no thank you". No thought, no desire, no regret...before WLS that would NEVER have happened.

@@Sergio_TX hope it went well, please post and let us know!

@@karine76 than you for posting as I can really relate. For me, not only is food bingeing no longer an option, but after losing 180 pounds I find I am more sensitive to triggers because I used weight as protection. In fact, I have been stalled and think this is part of it, I think I need more non-weight boundaries.
Some of my feelings (for me, shame, anger and fear - others I seem to handle fine) are so overwhelming, not too mention the hormone dump which is normal from burning fat. I have had to really work to build other ways of coping - but mostly, I have had to increase my capacity to sit with really intense feelings of shame and fear.
I still have much work to do and weight to lose, but mindfulness practice, self-compassion rituals and shame resilience work have been my path to dealing with triggers, and boy I seem to have more and more as the weight goes.
Great job posting and asking for what you need. Identifying that you were triggered is good work and the first step. Perhaps make a list of all of the things you can do to take care of yourself for moments like this - that has helped me. You got some great suggestions above.
Keep reaching out - your are doing great work for yourself!

@@marissahealthiernewme it is great you are already planning about this! you got some good suggestions above (I made a list of things I can do, everything from painting nails to art to organizing etc).
For me though, the most helpful process was figuring out what was behind the emotional eating and trying to heal the root cause in addition to coping skills now - that is been the most successful for me.
All of us have different feelings that may trigger us to eat (mine are fear, shame, anger) and as many say on here, the surgery is physical but we need to do the surgery on our brains (re-train ourselves).

I'm new here, so glad I found this forum. I've been excited and looking forward to my surgery scheduled for November 11th...until today. I'm really emotional and having a melt down. I've had several surgeries, so that's not the issue. Just hearing and reading post op horror stories. Family and friends are concerned, of course that this is a drastic move to lose weight. I need to lose about 75-80 lbs that I've been battling with for almost 10 years now. I'm over it! I'm trying to read as much as I can and watch YouTube videos about VSG to educate myself and feel confident that this is the best decision for me. I love success stories and the before and after pictures are amazing!! I'll get there, just need to get over this panic attack.
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So true. A lifelong goal.

I haven't had my surgery yet, but I've had some of those, am I going to be able to do it thoughts. Then I think, use my stubbornness.. I quit smoking cold turkey back in February because I want this.. So, I'm using the same determination now to follow this pre surgery diet I began a week ago.. I cheated.. I ate some spaghetti squash! Lmao.. That cracks me up.. Cuz I'm wrapping my head around these changes and now cheating to me is.. Eating squash!.. Sounds like you're a pretty determined strong person.. Look at it like a career you're going after you got this
Munky

@@butterfly23 - thank you for your reply and for sharing your perspective! I've read many of your other posts on this site and am really inspired by your journey and success.
I know the serenity prayer well (from my mom, who struggled with alcoholism). I haven't thought of it for a long time, but it's so appropriate. Thank you for the reminder!

I'm crying reading this thread because I've been so scared to do this (I've just begun the journey and am scheduling initial consults still) for all the same reasons.
The more I read and hear people's stories, it seems like there's a real chance this could work. Honestly I think that scares me even more! I've never *not* been heavy. My weight has defined me for so long, I can't really picture what life would be like if I actually succeeded. I don't really care about a goal weight but the prospect of being able to buy "normal" clothes, tie my shoes without passing out or ride a flippin' rollercoaster is kinda mind boggling.
I also wonder if being successful in other area of my life has actually made starting this journey even harder. As in, I've been able to accomplish so much, why can't I tackle the weight? I'm smart and I know how to lose weight, why can't I do this on my own? Like I'm not ready to admit that I need help. It sounds funny but I think my ego gets in my way.
What has finally spurred me into action is my knees. I have severe arthritis (which I knew for years but never went to the dr. because I figured why bother- I'm fat so it is what it is) When I finally did and he gave me a cortisone shot, it was a hallelujah moment. For a brief period of time I actually felt good! And that was the catalyst. I want to feel like that every day- to be able to walk without a limp. To actually feel like walking into the store instead of searching out drive-thrus. To lose this 200lb gorilla on my back for once and for all that makes me feel like crap and won't let me have any fun.
Sorry, didn't mean to make this all about me, but your post got to me and I agree with previous posters- you seem to have a great perspective. You have made a decision that will change your life in many ways. It would be weird not to be anxious and scared!
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@@JMill 72 I just saw your post and can really relate, especially to the part about feeling successful in most or all other aspects of life, but the inability to lose weight somehow invalidated all my other strengths, hence my anxiety that if WLS doesn't help, I'm an utter failure.
Sounds like you already are trusting the process, which for me was so important to not focus on the goal and outcome (but to have them, yet focus on the process instead). Like you said, focus on what you can control.
Since this is not a diet but a way of life, how we get there is more important as we need to do it for the rest of our lives, not just immediately before and after WLS.
I say the serenity prayer many times a day just for that reason:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Your surgery will be here before you know it, best of luck but seems like you have a healthy perspective!

Thes photos were taken
Day of surgery: 6/25/15
And Today 10/16/16
Size 24-size 10

@@Jesm1029 its great you posted about your struggle, it will help!
Most of us take a step back while trying to move forward. Behavior change is rarely only progress forward without stumbles - but that is where we can learn so we stumble less.
Overall, it sounds like you have been doing great, so focus on what has worked in the past to get back on track.
Try not to be too hard on yourself for an unhealthy choice, yet figure out what it happened (access b/c your hubby wanted and got them, perhaps any stress or head hunger etc) so you can make plans to reduce the chance of it happening again.
You have been doing this and will continue to, just adjust your strategy from what you learn from this experience.

@@Jesm1029 its great you posted about your struggle, it will help!
Most of us take a step back while trying to move forward. Behavior change is rarely only progress forward without stumbles - but that is where we can learn so we stumble less.
Overall, it sounds like you have been doing great, so focus on what has worked in the past to get back on track.
Try not to be too hard on yourself for an unhealthy choice, yet figure out what it happened (access b/c your hubby wanted and got them, perhaps any stress or head hunger etc) so you can make plans to reduce the chance of it happening again.
You have been doing this and will continue to, just adjust your strategy from what you learn from this experience.

So i been doing really good at least i think so and im strict and i excersize but yesterday i went out with my husband and he got some krispy kreme doughnuts and i tried to just take a taste but the entire one went down and so easily and then i had another and i ate one more today they are all gone now and im glad about it because i feel so guilty for letting myself go that dang easy so now im pissed at myself ehhh
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Fourth day today - went an extra day on liquids now moving to soft Protein. While I am not doing this to lose weight, I have lost 5 pounds just in these few days of liquids. I would recommend this reset to anyone who is struggling with food choices, its been a blessing.
Why I am really doing this is to re-establish my health patterns I had during my first year, to be mindful of the cravings and head hunger and reasons why I have urges. It has really helped to be back in that place of all decisions made - low carb liquids only so I can focus on what I need to heal to move forward.
I feel back in control, which is what I needed. I am so thankful for this site as a place to put my thoughts and experiences, thank you for taking the time to read.

Fourth day today - went an extra day on liquids now moving to soft Protein. While I am not doing this to lose weight, I have lost 5 pounds just in these few days of liquids. I would recommend this reset to anyone who is struggling with food choices, its been a blessing.
Why I am really doing this is to re-establish my health patterns I had during my first year, to be mindful of the cravings and head hunger and reasons why I have urges. It has really helped to be back in that place of all decisions made - low carb liquids only so I can focus on what I need to heal to move forward.
I feel back in control, which is what I needed. I am so thankful for this site as a place to put my thoughts and experiences, thank you for taking the time to read.

I am having lots of empathy for those pre-op and immediately post-op, only a few hours in and already wondering why I publicly declared I'd do this!