MarylandCrab

I just had surgery Tuesday and I know exactly what you mean. I have never been a self-hatred person, so I genuinely like myself and my body. I was worried and a little scared of what this will do to me. But what I did hate were some of my behaviors, some of my inhibitions, and all of my health problems. I won't miss them. I think our behaviors will change, but not who we are. We are always the first people to tell others that you should love people for what's on the inside and not on the outside.....I think we should do that for ourselves . Hang in there, friend. Doubts and a little sadness and second guessing are normal!

I just had surgery Tuesday and I know exactly what you mean. I have never been a self-hatred person, so I genuinely like myself and my body. I was worried and a little scared of what this will do to me. But what I did hate were some of my behaviors, some of my inhibitions, and all of my health problems. I won't miss them. I think our behaviors will change, but not who we are. We are always the first people to tell others that you should love people for what's on the inside and not on the outside.....I think we should do that for ourselves . Hang in there, friend. Doubts and a little sadness and second guessing are normal!

I just had surgery Tuesday and I know exactly what you mean. I have never been a self-hatred person, so I genuinely like myself and my body. I was worried and a little scared of what this will do to me. But what I did hate were some of my behaviors, some of my inhibitions, and all of my health problems. I won't miss them. I think our behaviors will change, but not who we are. We are always the first people to tell others that you should love people for what's on the inside and not on the outside.....I think we should do that for ourselves . Hang in there, friend. Doubts and a little sadness and second guessing are normal!

You got this!!

Hi DJMohr!
Sorry to hear about your 2nd surgery. I saw "spine surgery through the throat" and immediately shuddered! You're a brave lady.
Have you taken a look at theworldaccordingtoeggface? I tried to grab the website for you but I'm at work and they block blogs. She's a bariatric patient and has a ton of recipes. She has a baked ricotta recipe on there that looks delicious!
Hope that helps!

Me, too! I started yesterday! Mine is 3 Protein shakes and 3 oz of meat and 1 cup and 1/2 of veg. Sort of a Medifast diet. Then all liquid right before surgery. I have a month of this!
Hang in there! We can do this!

Hi DJMohr!
Sorry to hear about your 2nd surgery. I saw "spine surgery through the throat" and immediately shuddered! You're a brave lady.
Have you taken a look at theworldaccordingtoeggface? I tried to grab the website for you but I'm at work and they block blogs. She's a bariatric patient and has a ton of recipes. She has a baked ricotta recipe on there that looks delicious!
Hope that helps!

Oh my gosh! Where were you last Thursday! I went through this exact same line of thought. I have finished all of my pre-op clearances, and was heading to my final nutritionist appointment. I have lost a total of THREE pounds in the last 6 months. That's it. I was so upset with myself. I felt like a total failure and was in tears most of the day.
My nutritionist said that since I am hoping to have surgery in July, that I should start the pre-op diet now. She said I need to lose 20lbs and that the doc would look at my weight last Thursday and compare it to my weight for my doc appointment before the surgery and if no weight loss, no surgery.
I guess that was the switch I needed flipped. Sorry to turn this around on myself, but I just wanted you to know, you are not alone! If this was easy, none of us would be in this situation. I wish I had great advice to help you make all of the changes that you need to make. I know that I started reading a book about why I self-sabotage and how to start making the changes I need to make....I also called a psychologist to get some help and some support for my emotional problems that are causing me to rely on food.
I hope you can find your switch. Keep posting!

Even 5 days on the liquid diet will help a lot, don't give up, you are almost their!

This Friday, June 12th, I will have completed the last of all of my pre-op requirements then my package goes to the insurance company for review. In the interim, I am feeling so angry with myself. I have had good intentions of "starting post op behaviors" and am repeatedly disappointing myself. I have had intentions of: limiting my sugar intake; removing coffee; stop chewing gum; walking; meal prep......all of which I have been so inconsistent and unsuccessful with. This is scaring me! I am worrying that if I cant get it together NOW, at least successfully incorporate and accomplish ONE behavior modification pre-surgery, that I am going to ultimately fail.
I read all of these posts from pre-surgical candidates speaking of the great barriers they have overcome before their surgery date and feel like something must seriously be wrong with me. Why cant I get a grip and make one true, strong committed change like everyone else?! Does this mean I am not ready? Am I kidding myself? I have been seeing a therapist for the past few months, since I started this bariatric Quest, and she believes I will do fine. Stating that I need the surgery to help curtail the eating. I also see a nutritionist every two weeks, who has been trying to help me to put myself first. Why cant I do it!! Why wont I go for a walk? Workout on my elliptical; eat healthier NOW?
I feel so terribly lost.
I have written before, and not really received feedback but I want to thank you for at least providing me with an outlet to express myself.
Good luck to each of you.

I can totally relate to this @Mel13. Stress and "busyness" is a trigger for me, too (probably for many of us). I haven't had WLS yet, but I'm starting to try and get into some good habits. I've even gone so far as to identify my "Trigger Time" which is right after school. The problem is what to do about it.
I like the suggestion of having healthy stuff at hand and not leaving home without it. That way you're not even faced with the option of stopping anywhere for something unhealthy.
You can do this! We can do this!

It went well! I was approved. And it was just as you both said. Thanks for the answers!

I'm on the time frame. Maybe we can be surgery buddies when the time comes!

It went well! I was approved. And it was just as you both said. Thanks for the answers!

Oh @Elizabeth21I'm sorry you have to go through this pain. I'm studying massage therapy and am familiar with the location of the phrenic nerve. That has to be excruciating. I'm glad some of the meds are starting to help and I'm glad they don't have to remove the spleen. Nine years ago they found a cyst on my pancreas that was so large it was crushing my splenic artery.....while I don't think I felt any pain in my spleen, I know there is a very specific pain when an organ is lacerated or traumatized with injury or growths. That's why I jumped when I saw your post. I can sort of relate!!
Hope you're continuing to feel better!

Oh @Elizabeth21I'm sorry you have to go through this pain. I'm studying massage therapy and am familiar with the location of the phrenic nerve. That has to be excruciating. I'm glad some of the meds are starting to help and I'm glad they don't have to remove the spleen. Nine years ago they found a cyst on my pancreas that was so large it was crushing my splenic artery.....while I don't think I felt any pain in my spleen, I know there is a very specific pain when an organ is lacerated or traumatized with injury or growths. That's why I jumped when I saw your post. I can sort of relate!!
Hope you're continuing to feel better!

Oh no! I'm sorry that happened to you. Are you in much pain? How are they treating it? I hope this doesn't happen, but if they decide to remove the spleen to fix the problem, please feel free to contact me. I had my spleen removed 9 years ago and can tell you about some of the after care. I

You're the best, @@JustWatchMe I got mine to work....it had been months!

@@anaxila Thank you. That all resonates me. I have a good friend who had the DS surgery and has said much the same to me -- it's a process, you can't just do it all at once. If you could, you wouldn't be having surgery. Same with the "all or nothing" thinking. I fall into that one, too. I haven't accomplished all that the nutritionist suggested for me this month -- chewing everything 20 times and not drinking while I eat, etc. Once again, I have to remember that this is only my first month of 6. I was pretty bummed about it, thinking "how am I ever going to change all of my ways".....but I guess what everyone is saying to me is that I need to give it time. I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday! Good luck!
@@ocque2000 welcome! I hope you are finding this forum. I have months ahead of me (June) and I'm hoping to learn as much as I can from people who have surgery before me -- like you! So keep me posted!

I dunno, I thought "lover disease" was pretty awesome, as typos go.

I just ordered "When food is Love" and am looking at the "Food and Feelings Workbook". I'm hoping to work on some of this before the surgery.

Thanks! I'll give it a shot!

@@lovedXJesus
Dr. McKenna has a support group that meets at Frederick Memorial Hospital the last Monday of every month- in fact, I met MarylandCrab there just last week!
@@MarylandCrab
If you click on the link at the bottom of my signature/post, it will take you to Jonathan Blue's blog. I've posted there a full-blown account of all the tests we're asked to go through and how they "work". Happy reading

Oh man I just read this topic at the right time. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one (I really didn't think I was)
The quitting food part really hits home, because you can't. I never seem to be able to stick to self-imposed diets. There's always that idea of cheating that comes through, that "I'll just have this one..." It never occurs to me to ever cheat on my husband, so why can't I apply that to myself? Why do I insist on cheating on ME?
I know surgery won't be the magic fix, but I do hope it will help me "change my relationship" with food. Because when you are that restricted, you really do have to view food as a tool to survive rather than something pleasurable.

Oh man I just read this topic at the right time. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one (I really didn't think I was)
The quitting food part really hits home, because you can't. I never seem to be able to stick to self-imposed diets. There's always that idea of cheating that comes through, that "I'll just have this one..." It never occurs to me to ever cheat on my husband, so why can't I apply that to myself? Why do I insist on cheating on ME?
I know surgery won't be the magic fix, but I do hope it will help me "change my relationship" with food. Because when you are that restricted, you really do have to view food as a tool to survive rather than something pleasurable.