BackToBeautiful

My overweight husband said this... "So when you lose all of the weight I'll have a smoking hot wife, maybe then you'll feel like getting intimate more often." My response, "Maybe, I've had my eye on a couple of guys, I'm just waiting for the right moment." LOL He really needs to step up his game and give me something smoking too!!

So pre-op, the chorus was, "but you're not heavy enough for bariatric surgery", my response was always the same... Thank you! I'm very lucky to carry it "well", but my Dr's and the insurance company would disagree with you. They believe my health will be improved by achieving a normal BMI and a 90-100 pound weight loss. Turns out they were right! No more meds other than a PPI and I almost never have to go the the doctor anymore. I had been going about every 2-3 months for the treatment of asthma, high bp, high cholesterol and generally feeling like crap.
Today when I tell someone I've had WLS that didn't know me before, I typically get, "I can't believe YOU were ever fat". I guess I'll take that as a compliment. Still so strange to hear even at almost 2 years out.

I have been very open and honest with anyone who has asked how I've lost "all that weight"; I can't lie and I have no filter. The only thing that has bugged me was mentioned a few posts back. "I bet your husband is so happy." He is, but he's happy that his wife is happier and healthier. Otherwise, my friends, family and random acquaintances have been supportive to my face. If they talk behind my back, I don't let that stuff bother me anymore

I have been lucky, almost everyone has been supportive. "
The worst (pre-WLS) was "Why do you want to get surgery? You aren't that overweight."
I guess they were trying to pay me a compliment, maybe for a small Pygmy Hippo I was at a good weight, but not for a 6' tall man.

"O, I bet your husband is just tickled to death with your weight loss".....
"I bet you can't keep your husband off of you"
Ummmmmm.....
So, apparently some people think that being "wanted" by my husband only comes with weight loss. Huh?? SMDH.

It's fine! That's what we all need from time to time.

I keep getting asked how much I've lost and how much I now weigh and what weight did I start at I've never told anyone except my husband and on here I'm just not comfortable answering it as these ppl fat shamed me and just want to know so they can gossip I won't tell I just say a lot and when they still say well I know but how much I repeat a lot and if they dare ask again I say it's not up for discussion it makes me nauseas that I'm past 6 months post op and it's all ppl want to talk about when they see me as if there are no other topics to discuss especially my sister and boss sister is " suddenly so proud of me for losing weight after all this time " apparently even though I've been a good person for 47 years cleaned up her messes time after time raised her child for 4 years helped her escape her abusive husband never been arrested held a job my entire life never in any trouble "finally" I'm worthy of her approval? Hmm was worthless when fat though and saved her ass so many times and never asked for or expected a damn thing in return yeah your welcome! Thank you for for condescending " approval"

Before I was considering surgery, my family would make comments all the time about how concerned and worried they were about how fat I had become. They were worried about my health etc. my future. How much I ate. They didn't understand why I wouldn't choose to lose weight in a heathy way, likes its so easy...

I actually had two women at the mandatory pre op seminar ask me if someone told me that I needed surgery because I didn't look big enough. Wha???
Oh, my favorite, you're too lazy. You have nothing better to do with your money. Yeah, like I wouldn't rather be sailing the Mediterranean.
"Ok, so you didn't lose the weight by yourself", yes I did. With the use of a tool, but I'm not sitting around eating Twinkies all day.. You must be thinking of liposuction. I didn't go to sleep and wake up 20 lbs lighter.

I don't understand why you couldn't just have some willpower and shit your mouth.
You don't need to change your diet just get active.
Being overweight isn't the problem it's your attitude and inactive lifestyle. I just want you to be more "fit" and "active". (My ex)
I thought you were fine fat.
Just eat more vegetables.
I'll just fuck the fat off you. my personal favorite.
Don't even get me started on the stuff my family said before I was considering surgery!!! About how "worried" they were about me

New when I got today!
Are you gonna look deflated like all the other people? I can say is I have no idea I don't know what they look like.

Omg!!! Lol, reading what some people say is hilarious. Otherwise it's sad and hurtful.
People have really only said that they were scared for me. I had to explain. Their has been no wls deaths hospital (so far). My friend is a bill coder at the same hospital and she said that my surgeon is one of the best. I'm in good hands.

I haven't told anyone but my immediate family about my surgery so personally I haven't had many of those comments. But I know others who have
Mainly people seem to think that surgery is "cheating" that you could have just exercised and ate less and that was it. Well that doesn't work for everyone. There are people who can do that and be successful long term, but most people can't. How many of us have cut calories, exercised,starved ourselves, only to have lost just a few pounds.
Surgery is just another tool in the battle to loose weight. All the surgery did was change the shape of my stomach. I still decide what goes in my stomach, and I still have to choose to exercise. I can be bad and eat junk post surgery and gain weight, or I can be good and follow the plan and loose weight. The surgery was just a bit of help, most of the work is still up to me

My formerly good friend (one of very few I actually told) said 'Why would you tell me that? I didn't need to know that!'.
'Well I guess I needed to know you're a b***' was my imaginary response. The actual one was closer to 'Just in case you cared'.
She acted as if she was uncomfortable with me sharing such a 'personal' information. Fun! I'm so over her.

My father told me I needed to think about my son and husband and why couldn't I just live with being heavy or eat less.
I am thinking about my family and being healthier so I can see my grandchildren.

" You were not big enough to need surgery"
"Dont loose too much"
"How much can you eat now"
"Do you feel weak"
"You look old"
And the most annoying
"I liked the way you looked before surgery"

Great thread ... I am only 2 weeks post op so only close friends and family know right now but I am sure all those comments above are coming ... UGH ..

Oh how about " you can't eat that!"
I just literally spazzed out on my husband because I asked him to pick up some pudding at the grocery store. I get so agitated when people who have not been sleeved , nor have met with any nutritionist, nor any doctors- try to tell me what I can eat or can't eat! I'm the one who just had 85% of my stomach removed! Do you honestly think I'm going to eat any-damn-thing that is going to hurt me or impede my success??? Just shut up already!
* I think this was more of a vent than anything.*

Just got told that!! Exact words : you're not fat enough for Bariatric surgery!
Well apparently my dr thinks so! ????

My personal favorite.....You really didn't look like you needed to lose that much weight. REALLY??? Were you blind?

A bit off topic but so far, my least favorite question post-op is "do u feel better?". I know they mean well and although I was 326 pounds, I felt and functioned just fine so 70 pounds down I kind of feel the same. I mean getting up off the floor is a little easier but otherwise I sort of feel the same....

Here's some of the dumb questions you get pre-op...
- now, you do know that this is not a magic procedure, it's just a tool, and it will require a lifestyle change (duh, cutting 80% of my stomach is a major freaking change ????)
- what made you choose the sleeve? Someone I know that had it gained all their weight back. You should do the bypass (as if it's impossible to gain weight back with the bypass ????)
- I would only do this if it were my last resort (being fat your whole life and wanting to experience a normal life with no health issues before it's almost over, in my opinion, is the last resort)
People are so judgmental of things that are unfamiliar to them. When I talk to people who are well informed about the surgery, they usually congratulate me for the decision and tell me I will have no regrets as long as I follow my doctors orders/diet.

"I know someone who just died after having it done just a year ago" (turns out after she lost all her weight she only drank beer and smoked cigarettes and ate very little and it was junk. She poisoned and starved herself).
"My mothers housekeepers daughter is very ill and they don't expect her to make it after her surgery." (Was more than a year down the road and her illness wasn't related to the surgery at all).

Lol I love this post, and I can honestly say I've asked some of these dumb questions myself before I made the decision to do it. I think it's somewhat normal, but doesn't change the fact that it's a pain in the ass to respond to these questions. I still haven't told many people that I'm doing this, so I'm a little nervous just thinking about how I will handle all these questions.

Are you going to have mental health issues? "I know someone who became unwell"
Are you going to become and alcoholic? I know a person started drinking cause the craved sugar!