JustWatchMe

Omg. What a crazy thing to happen. Please stay strong and make sure your insurance covers whomever you need to see next.

That's rotten. I hope you feel better soon.

RJ, I'm sending you a hug long distance. Don't let that a-hole get you down. Of course it affected you. You were literally stripped of all of your defenses and being analyzed by a boor. I know you won't give up and I know you'll prevail. What I would do, but it's just me, is call ahead before the next appointment even though it will be a different surgeon. I would tell the people on the other end about this event and that you want them to know how horrible that treatment was for you and ask what kind of manner the new doctor has. It doesn't hurt to put people on notice. I would even ask them to relay the information to the surgeon before you arrive. I know this sounds odd, but why? If we take care of our emotional selves as well as our physical selves, that is a good thing. Would you let your mother or your daughter receive bad treatment if you could prevent it? Nope. So throw that out there and make the new surgeon think twice before being callous or dismissive or worse, cruel, like that first ass. I'm sorry about your plumbing problems. What a s****y week.

Still happily (yes happily) doing 5:2. It's getting easier. I've started looking forward to Thursdays. Mondays aren't bad but Mondays are stressful at work so I rarely look forward to that day anyway. Thursday has been a welcome day of easy food choices. I definitely am noticing results in my clothes, and staying off the scale has been smart for me. Onederland isn't far off. Maybe two or three more weeks if I stay on track like I've been. That's truly wonderful because it will coincide with my daughters' visit home from college. They haven't seen me since Labor Day. I'm motivated!

Tuesday one year ago I met with my surgeon for the first time. What a wonderful year I have had for health and rediscovering me. For those of you just starting out, you may feel like I did that your surgery is too far in the future and waiting all those months will be unbearable. When I first started to research WLS in September, I thought I might be able to have surgery before Christmas. Ha ha ha. Not only was it not before Christmas, but it didn't actually happen until March. And you know what? I needed every single day of that time period between September and March to prepare myself for this enormous life change. First, I met with my clearing psychologist. And I didn't get cleared! Nope. I needed to change my habit of eating in front of the TV. Until I did that, the psychologist was not going to clear me for surgery. He told me that I needed to make lifestyle changes. When I first heard that, of course I said, sure! Everybody knows you need to make lifestyle changes! But when I went back to him the following month for clearance, and I told him I had not been exactly able to give up TV eating, he told me point blank that he didn't think I was ready for WLS. He told me that unless I actually made the lifestyle changes, I was not likely to succeed with the LapBand. Of course, he was right. I'm glad that my little wake up call was so minor, and not a bigger deal, like if I had been denied surgery at the last minute. His denial made me face facts. How was I going to live in a new way, if I wasn't even willing to change a little bit? After I gave up TV eating, the next hurdle was the holidays. I grieved my way through Thanksgiving. I was very sad that in my mind, it was going to be my last enjoyable holiday. I sat in the kitchen the night before Thanksgiving, after having roasted the turkey, and binged on the crispy turkey skin. It was the weirdest experience I'd had in a long time. I knew what I was doing, and simultaneously I knew it was the last time I was going to do it. I knew that Thanksgiving 2014 was going to be different. I was going to have lap band surgery and I was going to be eating like a normal person. I was working toward that goal with excitement. So why was I so sad? I was getting ready to pay somebody thousands of dollars to help me recover from binge eating. And I was grieving not being able to binge eat anymore. Fast forward to February 2014. My personal life took a terrible plunge. My marriage, which was in bad shape before my WLS process began, took a terrible blow. Constant stress became my normal everyday life. I had one anchor in my life. My upcoming surgery. I was banded mid March 2014. I complied with all of the doctor's orders. My surgery was a breeze, and my weight began to come off right away. You can see by my ticker that I have had a lot of success this year. I am almost 2/3 of the way to my goal weight. I have not been the weight I am right now since my second child was born 19 years ago. Through it all, I have received immeasurable help and support from this website. I do not have a supportive spouse. I do have two very supportive daughters. But when it comes right down to it, we must do this for ourselves. Nobody can do this for us. And more importantly, nobody, nobody, nobody can prevent us from doing this for ourselves once we are ready to reclaim our power. I'll save my long list of NSV's and great experiences for when I write my 100 pounds lost post soon. And it's almost here. This post is just a reflection back to that first week when I walked into a WLS orientation meeting, followed by a meeting with my surgeon. The fearful, beaten-down person that I was one year ago no longer exists. In her place is a strong, confident woman who knows that she is worth it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This is about so much more than weight. Nothing changes until everything changes.

Thank you both. Yes I really do believe this is the real work. I've lost almost all of my excess weight once before. But the hard part is learning new coping mechanisms. What you just said about finding rejection in everyday interactions -- yes. Wow. It even continued after I got home. Sheesh. I'm living with my mom. Today she greeted me with "do you think you can eat some of that food you keep buying, because it's filling up the fridge and there's no room for my regular food". Oh, you mean my hummus and celery? I perceived it as a rejection of me and my invasion of her home. I'm taking up too much space in her life. Just like I'm taking up too much time in my doctor's office. I got pretty snippy with her but I later apologized because I realized I came home in a pissy mood. So we bonded over reruns of Scandal for a couple of hours. This head stuff is complicated.

Just feeling weirdly out of sorts. Not even sure why. I had a good experience at my rheumatologist today. I went for a cortisone shot in my knee, and I have not been there since April. The last time I was there, I weighed over 50 pounds more than I do today. So it was good to get the positive affirmations from his staff. It's also the first time that I only had a shot in one knee instead of both knees. But I don't know. Something weird happened to me when I got on the scale there. I have been weighing myself only on Sundays. I had a nice weight loss last week. I feel good this week, and I was sure I've lost some more. Sure enough, I'm 1 pound down since Sunday, at least according to the rheumatologist's office scale. Logically, it shouldn't even matter to me. Every scale is different, and hey, it's a loss, right? It's not like I could realistically expect 3 pounds down since Sunday right? So what's going on? After the shot, I was excitedly telling the doctor about my trip to Italy this summer, which he was quite interested in. I told him how easy it was for me to walk all over the hills of Italy. Suddenly, he cut the conversation short, said goodbye, see you next time, and almost ran out of the room. Now, normally I would understand that obviously something outside of my appointment caught his attention and made him quickly move along. After all, he was finished with my procedure. And he is a very nice man. It's not like him to be rude. So why did I feel so unsettled? I returned to my office and finished up my day at work, and came home to a bizarre supper. Celery sticks and hummus. Not too weird, but not exactly a full sit down meal. I just felt like eating a lot of vegetables. A lot. So I sat there and munched and crunched and munched and crunched for about 15 minutes. I never did get the stop signal. I'm pretty sure it's because celery just doesn't do that for me, and hummus is really a slider. So I actually had to tell myself to just stop eating. None of this is very dramatic, and I have only eaten slightly over 1000 calories today, but I just feel so weirdly out of sorts. It just occurred to me why I might have taken that emotional plunge in his office. I can't believe I forgot about this until just now as I type this, but I did tell him that I had a very stressful summer. I mentioned about filing for divorce, and that my arthritis went into a severe flare about a month after I moved out. I told him all of that because I have found that my joints have been reacting badly from time to time over the last couple of months. So seeing this written down in front of me now, I guess it's not a mystery anymore. I spoke of something very emotional during the appointment, moved on to get my knee injection, was happily chatting about Italy, and then was told "see ya" fairly abruptly. What the hell. No wonder I wanted to eat. So there you have it. I'm glad it was only celery and hummus. And still managed to stay under 1100 cal today. And oh yeah, I'm down that pound. Woot woot. I'm glad this board is here. It's a sounding board actually. In case you haven't noticed, I've been working on addressing my emotional eating triggers. You lucky bystanders you.

Alex, I'm glad you were featured. But the article would have been so much better if they focused on more success stories like yours and how you made the band work for you. To me the article was too negative. It's true that it's not an easy fix and there can be complications. But it IS a fix and many compliant banders find their lives totally transformed, all for the better. Anyway, although I would have liked the article to be more positive, it was still a good way to get some info out to the public. And you look fit and fantastic!!!!

I went from weighing daily to weighing weekly. My attitude improved immensely. I have a cheap digital scale which is within a half pound of my surgeon's office. I weigh on the bathroom tile level floor.

I'm back on the iPhone app and it works again. Two questions. 1. How do I post a status update and 2. How do I reply to someone else's status update ?

Yes, drying out. I compare it to a muscle being strengthened with exercise. Every day I don't snack or don't choose fried food or don't eat popcorn at the movies, I've strengthened the new habit muscles and it truly does get easier to say no next time. I'm also trying to remember that it's actually saying yes to healthy choices and yes to my new life. Not a negative at all.

@@SandyM, this was great! I can so relate. Head hunger is a beast! This made me laugh, which I needed tonight after having a long distance argument with my daughter which made me HUNGRY right before bed!!!!

Prune juice is sweet and a little like overripe fruit. I like it in small doses which fortunately is all I need.

Beautiful! Congratulations!!!

Lisa, great analogy with the ring on a finger. Good visual.

@@lisacaron, thank goodness it was a band blip and not a heart attack that got your attention. It sounds like you "know" what to do. But as we all know, doing it is quite another thing. I'm learning to recognize my patterns of reacting to stress. In calm moments I can see the truth in front of me, take a breath and face it in a healthy way. My problem is the not calm moments. I'm reacting and stressing out completely before I even realize what I'm doing. I think you should write that book. You have a gift for telling it like it is and cutting through the BS. The next three weeks won't be easy. Cut yourself a break but stay on course. I think your quick action of getting to the doctor probably saved you from serious band problems. Hopefully you'll be back in good restriction soon. Thanks for the lesson.

I am so happy for you and can't wait until I get there!!

@@RedStorm, that's fantastic!!! Woo hoo!!!

This is very inspiring. I've read some of her posts. Thank you, Yvonne!!

How to be skinny 1. Notice that your body is covered in skin. 2. Say, "Wow! I'm skinny!" 3. Congratulations! You are now skinny.

Congratulations and welcome to Bandland!! Wishing you speedy healing. All good things are ahead!!

@@enuf, I was banded in March 2014. Four fills and 7.5 in my 14cc band and I think I'm in the green zone. I feel satisfied with a small meal IF (and this is a big IF) I start with lean Protein and eat slowly. If I eat a salad I could probably eat a gallon of it. If I don't chew my meat to mush I can get stuck. But fried chicken strips just slide on down. My point is that after a month of stalling, or rather, bouncing up and down about 5 pounds over and over, I took a hard look at my food and faced facts. I was eating huge tubs of popcorn at the movies, sometimes with buttercrap on it. I was eating fried chicken strips three or more times a week. I was drinking apple martinis whenever I'd go out to dinner. Sometimes two. Although I logged every bite, I hadn't looked at those logs and faced what I was eating. I was often exceeding 1900-2000 calories in a day. Two weeks ago I did a "reset" and got my act together. I cleaned up my food and made a plan. I stuck to the plan. I also began to work on the emotional issues behind my eating. I'm back on track and I feel empowered. I have a fill appointment on October 2 but I'm pretty sure I'm going to stay at this fill level for now. But I'm still going to go to the appointment. I need that reinforcement and I get such a boost whenever I meet with the nurse who does my fills. It refocuses me. Please don't give up. We are all learning how to live without excess food and it's so hard sometimes. The band is helping me to not give up on myself when I feel like a failure. An attitude adjustment, a mental recommitment, and I was able to resume my weight loss. That has NEVER happened before. I was on Weight Watchers for decades. First small gain always always always was the beginning of the end. A slip was always a slide back into binging and dropping out. Not this time.

Thought I'd hate them but LOVE water enhancer drops. Dasani pineapple coconut is like a piña colada in my water bottle. So much easier to get my water in now.

What a self absorbed asshole.

Breathe. Give yourself a break. You're going to prevail. This may be the "bottom" you had to hit before letting to of binging. So there's nowhere to go but up, right? Make the next right choice. Find another means to self comfort today. Search something out. Then do it. And keep connected here. This place saves my sanity daily.