HumanMerelyBeing

No!! Could not have done it without this - was absolutely headed for a non-stop cycle of trying and losing and gaining and trying and losing and gaining for the rest of my life.
I had to get really honest with myself prior to my decision to have surgery. It came to accepting that the decision for me was between surgery and accepting the fact that I would never get this under control in my lifetime. At that point, I knew.
I told very few people of my surgery. The night before, I told one of my aunts who was quite upset with worry and urged me several times in the conversation to try one more time on my own. She is also heavy and told me she recently recommitted to healthy eating, exercising, etc and she knew I could do.
Well, needless to say I went forward with the surgery and have lost 115 lbs in 11 months. She is still the same weight as the day of the conversation.
I am so very grateful for the decision and surgery and even though you have to do your part, I can honestly say I've done my part before and it has never ever ever worked list this.
Good luck!!!! You won't have any regrets!

It is no secret around here that bariatric surgery will expose the raw dynamics of a relationship.... good or bad. I am concerned that he thinks you should be lifting that heavy stuff at all - even if you did not just have surgery.
My mean ol' rotten ex- husband expected me at age 54 to be doing the work of a 25 year old male farm hand.......lifting concrete blocks, cleaning out the chimney (from the roof) working under the truck, cleaning out the underside of the riding mower, putting heavy logs on the truck....all kinds of things that I was physically struggling to do at 100 pounds overweight and with dangerously high blood pressure which eventually caused me to have a stroke.
Once he forced me to shovel snow after a blizzard (27" deep plus drifts) down a driveway about 80' long. When I complained of knee pain afterward he accused me of trying to get out of the work, and refused to let me go to the doctor. As it turns out, I had torn my meniscus and eventually had to have a knee replacement because the knee healed wonky because of not being treated.
Add that to other crazy stuff he was doing and you can see why I had to escape to a womens' shelter in the middle of the night. What I am saying is this: I suspect this is just the tip of the iceburg and you need to pay attention to how he treats you at other times - at home and in public. Just because you may live out in the country doesn't mean that you have to be treated like a hired hand. And especially freshly post-op. When I finally had a chance to get myself to a doctor, I told him what was happening, and he simply said "Then why are you still there?"
One thing they told me at the shelter was that women who get used to abuse will typically start abusing themselves through isolation or detrimental habits. When you said you went straight for the yummies, I thought about all the times I escaped to the Krispy Kreme Donuts on the shelf. I had gained 80 pounds in the ten years I was with him.
So, until you can fully examine the true nature of your relationship - be strong. Don't let him or any negative nellies get to you. You have feelings to and need to stand up for yourself. And if you are afraid to stand up for yourself and have your own mind, then that is red flag about your marriage.
I am all for folks working things out, but not if you have to lose your true self in the process. I wish you good luck and good health. Take care.

FYI, no one should you be asking you to lift a 50 lb bag of anything 1 week after surgery. As you know, you need take good are of yourself right now and you still have a lot of healing to do. You require caretaking and support right now and as is sometimes the case, it might require something radical to get that. I've always loved the term, "Radical Self Care." Taking care of one self shouldn't be radical or an act of rebellion but for many of us, it is.
I'm less concerned about the Almond Roca - it is a good learning experience and you will be doing a lot of learning and re-learning in these early months. I'm more concerned about you getting support and love during this process - the more of that, the less Almond Roca will even call out to you.

FYI, no one should you be asking you to lift a 50 lb bag of anything 1 week after surgery. As you know, you need take good are of yourself right now and you still have a lot of healing to do. You require caretaking and support right now and as is sometimes the case, it might require something radical to get that. I've always loved the term, "Radical Self Care." Taking care of one self shouldn't be radical or an act of rebellion but for many of us, it is.
I'm less concerned about the Almond Roca - it is a good learning experience and you will be doing a lot of learning and re-learning in these early months. I'm more concerned about you getting support and love during this process - the more of that, the less Almond Roca will even call out to you.

Do multiple consults.... very educational. I did several in the USA before ultimately going to Dr Sauceda in Mexico. The main thing I learned is that plastics is about tradeoffs and there are many varying opinions on how to tackle the same problem.
I think it is very important to look at many many before and after pictures of people who have similar body type (ie massive weight loss). The situation of a standard "mommy makeover" isn't really the same as after massive weight loss. Spend some time reading at realself . com etc.
Plastics were first suggested to me about 12 months post op when i wasn't at goal yet. I waited until about 22 months post op before having surgery and I was under my goal weight. I only lost about 5.5# due to plastics (which was very close to estimates given to me during other consults) but i had little excess fat at that point - really, it was skin.

Have the surgery.
Don't expect teenage boys who think they're immortal to understand ANY of this.
Later on, when you're getting healthier, they'll think this was all their idea.

Today I am starting the 10 day liver shrinking pre-op diet that I did one year ago in preparation for surgery. I did it a year ago and I can do it again. What better way to kick any poor habits and sliding with sweets and carbs and start the year off right. I have wisely heard from @CowboyJane and others that Year 2 is Super Important!! I am going to take that very seriously as I approach my one year Surgiversary on February 4th. I have done well dropping 115 lbs, but I have not at goal and I am not done.
Once an addict, always an addict.
Fluids!! Protein! Exercise!! Here I come!
Where are all the Jan/Feb Sleevers from 2014? How are you doing? Want to recommit with me??

Given only months to live due to complications from weighing over 600 lbs gave me a whole new drive. 420 pounds lighter I am no working to set up a support system all across the country and doing my best to raise awareness for childhood obesity. If this is something you want to see tackled head on please back me on kickstarter.com http://kck.st/1HZHk6K via @kickstarter facebook.com/theliveitlist

FYI, no one should you be asking you to lift a 50 lb bag of anything 1 week after surgery. As you know, you need take good are of yourself right now and you still have a lot of healing to do. You require caretaking and support right now and as is sometimes the case, it might require something radical to get that. I've always loved the term, "Radical Self Care." Taking care of one self shouldn't be radical or an act of rebellion but for many of us, it is.
I'm less concerned about the Almond Roca - it is a good learning experience and you will be doing a lot of learning and re-learning in these early months. I'm more concerned about you getting support and love during this process - the more of that, the less Almond Roca will even call out to you.

It seems impossible, but I am one year out today...
This process became about so much more than a number on the scale. I have finally am living the life I am meant to live. While I do wish the scale reads a lower number, it's not as important to me as it once was. I am no longer held back because of my weight. I am healthy for the first time in decades. I like myself again.
I lost so many years being unhappy. I became disconnected from friends and family. I allowed my weight to drag me down. I realize that now. I realize that to my friends and family, I was just me. They didn't judge me, they loved me even when I couldn't love myself. My husband loved me at 256 pounds and he loves me now. My son didn't see his fat mom before, he just accepted me as I was. I know this now.
This year has been amazing! It has been full of tears, laughter, mourning and celebration (sometimes all of those things in the same day)!!!! I found out I love hot yoga. If you would have told me a year ago that I would have laughed! I love to hike. I love to go to the gym and work out. I am more outgoing socially than I was a year ago. I got a promotion - I don't think that's directly related to the weight loss, I think it's because I am no longer hiding in the background. I have so much more confidence! I can shop in the Misses section and can shop at Eddie Bauer, one of my favorite stores! I haven't shopped there in 20 years. I can now wear anything in the store, not have to order on line out of the Plus section.
I have learned so much from this forum and the members who are kind enough to post and answer questions. This has been and still is a valuable tool for me to use. I try to help others as they have helped me. So, thank you!

You have gotten some good ideas but I vote for a "reset". Go back to doing what you used to do. Track on my fitness pal? Go to the gym 4x a week? Whatever it was ...force yourself to pretend you are 4 months post op and really working that sleeve you have been successful and can most certainly continue to be!

My sleeve is bigger. I can eat 4 oz. of a dense Protein and a very small potato at dinner. I definitely have sliders and can eat a lot of popcorn, crackers, or bread.
I think as time goes by you'll be able to eat more. I was able to eat more at 12 months, 18 months, 2 years, 2.5 years. But around 2. 5 years I maxed out. Capacity has not changed since then.
Lynda

It's not the end of the world! You know what happened and you know how to fix the problem. Now it is just a matter of making it happen. I would suggest going back to basics. A small portion of Protein and veggies for meals supplemented with Protein shakes instead of Snacks as needed. You will be back on track in no time! No worries, you have got this!
Oh yeah, and get rid of any of the holiday treats still laying around!

The timing on this thread is perfect as I just experienced a delightful NSV yesterday. It was chilly and I was looking for a sweatshirt to put on...the nearest one was my 13 year old son's size small Hollister sweatshirt. Put it on, zipped it up - rocked it. Ha ha!

Yes, it's true. My collarbones have been missing for the better part of 15 years and now they are back and I find them, well...beautiful. It's funny how when you are heavy, you almost disassociate from your body. Your body is a thing wholly separate from your true self when it is heavy. I always felt like my heavy body had betrayed me and I had betrayed it.
But as I regain my old self, it's important to connect again. And part of that connection is finding little beautiful things about your body.
What do you now find beautiful about yourself?

Jamie Dukes, the television football commentator and former NFL offensive lineman, is known for telling it like it is, and in his new book “Beware the Frenemals,” he does just that. He uses the term “frenemals” to describe those people in our lives that are barriers to success or enablers of our failures.
Dukes says frenemals, who can take the shape and form of family members, friends or one’s own inner voice, were major obstacles to his overcoming obesity and deciding to have bariatric surgery in 2008.
“My loving parents were softly suggesting I needed to do something about my weight but did not provide the tough love I needed to send me on the path to finding the right solution. Some of my closest friends convinced me that pursuing bariatric surgery was somehow cheating. I guess I was hearing what I wanted to hear, before stepping up the reality that I had a life or death decision to make. I finally realized I had to block out the noise about weight loss surgery and do the research.”
Dukes chose life and since surgery has lost close to 100 pounds and is happier and healthier than ever balancing a busy career on television and radio, and a family life that includes his wife and two children.

“Having bariatric surgery has been one of the best things I’ve ever done because I found a tool that has helped me be a winner in the battle with obesity,” he said.
Dukes wrote the book to help empower people, including potential bariatric surgery patients, to take control of their own destinies and come to terms with those issues in life, including obesity, that hold them back or even put their lives or health at risk.
Dukes says there are three kinds of frenemals:
Frenemal #1 – Family: Family members can be guilty of enabling or manipulating dysfunctional behavior. Only family can provide tough love. Only family can take advantage of us in an intimate way.
Frenemal #2 – Friends: Fair-Weather friends who stab you in the back. These are the people in our inner space who are like-minded and share our dreams. But if we get in the way, they will turn on us for their own personal gain.
Frenemal #3 – Friend on the Inside: This is the voice within. This voice is particularly dangerous because it’s a friendly voice. This is the voice that can tell us to have the extra drink and get behind the wheel of the car and nothing will happen. This same voice tells us to have that extra helping of food.

“The only way we can overcome challenges in our lives starts with recognizing that they exist. The mission of “Beware of Frenemals” is to make people aware of their existence. When I came to the realization that the Frenemals in my life were a hindrance, I was empowered to do whatever it took to get my obesity under control,” said Dukes.
“Beware of Frenemals” is available at Amazon.com.< /p>
Dukes is also one of the patients featured in the new VIRAL ASMBS patient video that just premiered at ObesityWeek 2014.

Awesome! Great job

Beautiful picture-the smile says it all! Congrats!

Nice collarbone! Mine is showing up as well. Funny, I had kind of forgotten about it.

Does everyone have those?!
That's so cool. I remember reading something someone wrote, and I don't remember who or where, but they felt a bone for the first time and thought it was a tumor. It's a whole road of new experiences, right?
Congrats!

They ARE beautiful!

I'm in New a york City visiting my son for Christmas. I made the mistake of not trying on clothes before I left. The pants I brought are all falling off me! Who hoo!

AH! I'm so jealous ! Seeing my collarbone again is one of my all-time biggest goals ! I can't wait until I get there! I hope it looks as good as yours ! Well done!

I'm starting to have a waist!

Ahh your collarbone is indeed beautiful! I haven't seen mine since 15 years ago and can't wait to see it again!!