Tink22-sleeve

I thought I should write a new blog since I just had my 1 year sleeve anniversary on November 6, 2013. While I was out walking our dogs today on my 4 mile walk I was reflecting back on how my life was a year and a half ago as compared to now. Wow, has it ever changed for the good! A year ago on this day I was just getting out of the Hospital after spending 4 days in there after my sleeve surgery. I had a pretty rough time with nausea after the first day. I was so sick that I just wanted to leave my body to get away from how terrible I felt! I remember thinking, "What did you do to yourself Kathy"? Luckily after I got home each day I felt better and better.
 
A year and a half ago I couldn't walk down to the corner and back and I would be out of breath, tired, and hurting. That was before my surgery, and before I had lost the 42 pounds on the 6 month pre-surgery diet. I couldn't ride a regular bike, so I rode an adult trike, and only for short distances. I mostly sat in my recliner, felt depressed, and didn't like going anywhere! I didn't like going to any parties, family get togethers, weddings, or anything where I felt people were going to judge me! I didn't feel good in anything I wore, and was so self conscience. I look back at how I use to be, and I don't recognize that person anymore! I was only existing, and not living!
 
Not anymore! Now I'm living, and loving it! I walk our dogs a little over 4 miles several times a week and can do it in 1 hour and 7 minutes. I feel great when I get back, not tired, or out of breath, but feel like a million bucks. I have a regular cruiser 5 speed bike I ride now when my husband and I go for our bike rides. Our bike rides are now between 10-23 miles long, and take 1-2 hours. It's one of our favorite things to do together now.
 
I use to wear a size 26/28W, and a 3XXX tops, and hated going clothes shopping. Now I love going clothes shopping because I can wear a 14 regular womens. I can grab any size 14 off the rack, and try it on, and it FITS! I only wear a M/L tops now too. I buy jeans instead of sweats, and actually like dressing up to go out. I'm hoping to get in to a size 12 when I reach my goal weight of 156 pounds. I'm about 16-18 pounds from my goal weight depending on the day. I was even a guest speaker at my sleeve surgeon's bariatric seminar this past week. I got up in front of over 100 people, and told my story about my weight loss journey. I was so nervous, but I'm glad I did it, because it felt GREAT! I'm even going for a job interview this coming Tuesday for a custodial job for this huge company. I haven't worked outside my home in like 17 years! I wasn't ready to have a job before, but now I'm going to give it a try! I think it will do me good to get back out there in the work world, and I'll feel a sense of accomplishment, and more self worth! I'm 56 years young, and am actually LIVING again!

I was born a healthy baby on March 30, 1973. I weighed 8lbs, 11 oz and was about 21 inches long. In first grade, I weighed 70 lbs. In 5th grade, 120. By the time I was a junior in high school, I weighed 206 lbs. I was 5'4" tall. It's not a sedentary lifestyle that led me to be a heavy girl. Lord knows I was active...riding bikes, playing tag, being the only girl among a ton of boys took a lot of energy if you wanted to have something to do besides watch TV. I swam, I ran, I spent years in the marching band huffing and running and carrying instruments of various weights. Yeah, I was active. But I ate. I snuck food, I binged, I stole food from our pantry. Cookies and candy were my favorite. I would eat 3 or 4 pop tarts for breakfast, finding it odd that m friends only ate 1. I drank milk and soda. I would get ice cream from the ice cream man, hide to eat it then go inside to eat dinner. I remember drinking a 2 liter bottle of coke between my grandmother's house and mine. 5 doors down. I was 10. When I got into middle school, I realized I didn't dress the way my friends did. I dressed in the "women's department" becuause the Juniors department clothes didn't fit. I remember crying with my mom in the kitchen one night because kids laughed at me for using a diaper pin to hold the seam of my pants closed. I remember being teased for having breasts in 4th grade. When I joined the marching band in 9th grade, Mom took an old pair of her slacks and added the stripe for the uniform on each leg so I would look like the other kids. When I went to Europe in 1990, she altered my marching uniform by adding gussets in the torso & thighs so a mens' XL jumpsuit would fit. No one knew but me, but that was enough. None of that stopped me from eating. At that time, my afterschool snack, before band, orchestra, jazz band, choir or drama club practice was a bottle of orange soda & 2 king size packs of peanut butter cups. Fruits & veggies? a rarity in my diet because I was rarely home to eat dinner.
 
Nothing seemed to take away my need to put food in my mouth. It didn't matter what or when it was. Food has been a major part of my life. A way of life. My life has revolved around food for most of my life. I have really needed to find a way to stanch the flow of food. What would the breaking point be? Insulin? Nah...blood pressure? Nope. High Cholesterol? Oh no. Knowing how rampantly heart disease runs in my family and that my own father had a stroke at 17 didn't stop me.
 
In 2005, my brother & sister in law blessed me with my oldest niece. I wanted to live for Emma. Still, I shoveled food in. In 2010, I became an aunt again. As I sat and held Caroline, I knew I needed to do something, so I joined a gym and would go almost every day. I joined weight watchers and attempted to stick to it. I herniated 3 discs in my back in 2011. Stopped going to the gym, which wasn't that difficult since I had stopped going so faithfully, and ate like it was my last meal.
 
On January 2 of this year, during a visit to my endocrinologist, there were 2 words next to my name I never associated with my name. MOrbid Obesity. It was right then and there I made the decision to make the change.

Today I measured myself for the first time since surgery. It has been 4 weeks and I have lost 30 pounds, but the measurements shocked me!!! I had lost 4 inches in my waist, 3 inches from my chest, an inch from each ankle, 2 inches from each thigh, and 2 inches from each knee. I was worried I wasn't losing fast enough but then I see 17 inches gone from my body and I know that I am going the right way. Today I went to the gym and kind of over did it, but feel the urge to push myself. I know I am still healing and was reminded of this today, especially when I was trying to do triceps exercises laying down on a bench and felt the incision and stomach muscle pull. Ouchh!!! Just gotta go slow. I am so excited to feel great again and have energy. I am happy to hear so many people that I can relate to on this site. I wish everyone the best on their surgeries. This surgery is definitely worth it!!!

So I had a rough weekend. I got to add soft food to my diet on Friday. One would think that after three weeks of not eating any "real" food that it would be great, and it was! I got up on Saturday and I was up a pound from where I was Friday morning. Now, I know that my body is saying "Hey! I finally got some food, I need to hang on to it cause I don't know when I'll get the next round," and that is why the scales haven't been really nice this weekend. I still am bouncing around the same stupid half pound since Friday and its just frustrating. In my "previous life" I would have been irritated and just eaten something that I shouldn't have to justify the increase on the scales. Now, I didn't do anything or eat anything I shouldn't have but, boy, did I have a battle with head hunger all weekend. One of my favorite places to eat used to be Moe's, my husband has never really cared for it and I think that we have eaten there together just once in the past 5 years. Yesterday I had to run across town and what does he ask me to bring him back for supper?? MOE'S!! i couldn't believe it and it just plain made me mad when I had to go in there and order his burrito. I wanted one so bad but instead, I ordered his just like he asked (with absolutely nothing that could be considered healthy on it) and brought it home to him. I fixed my supper and was satisfied with it. My dad used to say that it didn't matter if you got full off of black eyed peas or steak and potatoes either way you were still full. That is very true, steak and potatoes just taste much better, as would have Moe's last night. Anyway, I needed something to take my mind off of the negative and I figured I'd list the NSV's that I could think of to lift my spirits a little
 
1. I can get my wedding rings on again, I haven't been able to wear them individually since last June and it has probably been more than a year since I have been able to get both of them on at the same time.
 
2. I already have a pair of pants that are too big and I can no longer wear (at least my husband refuses to be seen in public with me if I do!)
 
3. Its easier to shave my arm pits cause they aren't so full.
 
4. I can bend over to paint my own toe nails again!
 
5. The seatbelt in my husbands truck doesn't lock just because I'm trying to put it on and pulled it out a little too far anymore. I can actually bend down and pick my purse up from the floorboard and it doesn't lock!
 
6. I can put on and tie my shoes with almost no effort.
 
7. I have bad breath. (Okay so maybe that one isn't so exciting but apparently when you are breaking down fat you get ketosis which causes halitosis aka bad breath. I must be doing good breaking it down cause even my 5 year old tells me my breath is stinky! LOL!)
 
I know there are more but these are all I can think of right now. I'm going to keep working at it and keep working my tool. I know that I did the right thing and I know that I'll be able to eat more normally again some day. I did this for my kids and they are going to have a more amazing mom because of it.

PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY DO YOUR TASTE BUDS CHANGE AFTER SURGERY?????

For the past week I have been thinking of what to write for my one year update.
 
Firstly,I dont regret having the sleeve as far having lost the weight and the way I am looking.It feels good to be thin even though I have loads of extra hanging skin.
 
But,and I am so sad that there has to be a but here...
 
I went into menopause at the age of 45 3 months after having the surgery.At the time my dr said it might just be because I am losing a lot of stored estrogen and the symptoms might disappear,but it didnt quite go away.I now have a period every 4 mnths or so and hotflashes,as they please.Horrible to be dealing with this now.Anyway,I am dealing with it.
 
I am bruised black and blue the whole time.Bruises that is clearly not casued by bumps as they are in such strange places.My bloods are all out of wack,different ones every time I have it done.The amount of pills I have to take is unreal.This would be fine if it wasnt affecting my stomach the way it does.I now have to add carafate to the PPi I am taking.As for the bruising,no one seems to know why this is happening and I am due for more tests in the next couple of weeks.The one thing that has also changed drastically is my lipid profile.My TC was never high,I had great HDL and LDL was normal.Now my HDL is super low,my LDL is super high and my Tc borders on high.Who knows how the heck that happens while losing 137 pounds?
 
About a month ago I started having symptoms of peripheral neuropathy.I dont want to comment on this too much as I am still inshock dealing with the burning,tingling and pain in my hands and feet.I hope this will go away with the supplements I am taking as I have no idea how one live with this indefintely without going stir crazy.
 
Just to top all this and make it more interesting,my neck,back and tailbone is giving me hell.I seem to be growing a hump om my upperback and the kids tell me I am bent like the moon.I have a lot of upperback and neck pain but the bad thing is I cannot atand for longer than a couple of seconds before my lower back is killing me.I can sit and I can walk,no problem.I just cannot stand.
 
I am extremely sad that things are not as straight forward for me as for others as it would have been nice to enjoy being at goal at this point.To have dealt with my fears about having plastics as I am almoat ready to so it I dislike my arms that much...lol.
 
However I am constantly trying to deal with some health fallouts at the moment.I am so scared that this will be my life now.Hands and feet on fire,a back that cause for me to have to sit down all the time.A neck that keeps me awake all night and to top that I look like I was in a bad accident or fight,all the time.
 
This all sounds so negative.But I might have gotten sick just from being fat if I didnt have this surgery.If only dealing with these issues werent so complex.If only there were some easy answers and fixes.I am a fixer.I am a doer.If something is wrong,fix it and most of my issues I cannot only not fix,I can hardly manage them.
 
Maybe in a couple of months I will find myself healthy.Painfree!Burn free!Free of bruises!Taking less than 15 pills a day.But for now I am a little fearful about my future.
 
And then I want to just delete this post as it isnt what I want things to be like and about.
But then I will leave it to read in a little while when things are better and the problems have been resolved.
 
Part 2 will talk about all the nice stuff...like wearing a size 36B bra..hehehe!And having bought a size 10,yes a size 10 broadshort, yesterday!Not all is bad and life does go on!

So my adventure began at the end of July when after researching for several months, I decided it was time. On August 29th I saw the surgeon. The entire process to get insurance approval was pretty easy and I had no problems or setbacks. I was approved on November 5th, and could've had surgery the following Friday, but decided to wait until my work closed for xmas break. I was finally sleeved on 12/19/12 and everything went well. I didn't need any pain meds following surgery and haven't had any trouble with drinking as of yet. The biggest thing I've noticed is that I nap ALOT. I am working on getting my liquids in, so far I am up to 55g. of protein and close to 20 oz. of water, tea, etc. I can tell I'm full when I get a spasm type pain in my sternum or I start to burp...so I stop and wait. I get to start yogurt, eggs, cream of wheat and soups w/o chunks on 12/26, but I will start a day early as my mom-in-law made her famous potato soup just for me for xmas, and I will eat a little of it. I will see how my new tummy handles that....hopefully well. I'd really hate to get sick at her place because I know she'd feel bad. As for exercise, it's been pretty windy and cold here, so I've been doing laps in the house often and am hoping to get outside to walk soon. So far, I feel pretty lucky. Hoping it will stay this smooth during the food transitions.

Hello fellow sleevers,
 
I hope this blog finds you all well. I am almost 7 weeks out since my leak was confirmed to have healed. Yay. I should get clearance from my surgeon soon to start going to the gym which I think will help with my over fitness (or more to the point, lack thereof). Generally things continue to improve. I still struggle (some days more than others) with a faintly sick feeling and a gurgling in my tummy. This usually means I am not eating quite enough or regularly enough. The less I eat at a meal, the more frequently I have to eat - and that depends on the day.
 
So this blog is about the stupid things I have done, repeatedly, since going back on normal foods. In no particular order (I decided not to rank my stupidity as these are all, quite frankly, ridiculous) are:
 
Drinking soft drinks (soda): Okay so this is mostly my several attempts to drink soda water. I've had a little lemonade and coke but it's so sweet I only did this a few times before deciding it wasn't worth it. What I have been slower in giving up is soda water (sparkling water). I keep stupidly thinking something would change and it would be okay to drink soda water but I've finally realised (after several uncomfortable and frankly painful experiences) that I should leave it well enough alone. Duh.
 
Eating Bread (of any kind): So being the genius that I am, I decided to try bread. I always feel kinda ill afterwards. And yet I continued to try it. White, multigrain, soft grains, wholemeal, sourdough...always left with the same feeling of discomfort and just generally a bit yuck. Thank goodness I have finally decided to LEAVE IT ALONE.
 
Eggs: Oh little eggies, how I loved you before surgery. I could have eaten half a dozen of you little buggers preferably poached, although I wasn't all that choosy. Now you have turned on me and make me very VERY ill. I no longer try to come to some kind of understanding with you...sometimes when you love something, you must set it free. Bye little eggies...you will be missed.
 
Milk: Another before surgery love. Now, to highlight my stupidity, I need to give a teensy bit of background - I am Lactose Intolerant. Have been for years. And depsite this, I would guzzle a 750mL Iced Coffee three times a day. Yes I'd get the runs. Yes, I'd feel pretty darn sick. But I'd still do it. Post-surgery, I am lucky to be able to have the lactose free milk on my cereal for breakfast. Milk (of any kind) makes me sick. As does icecream which is just wrong. No more yummy iced coffee's or frappe's. Gone for good...
 
Although it is taking me a while to work out what my sleeve needs, I feel I am making progress. It's slow. But I am learning to listen to what my body is telling me.
 
Quick weight update - I am 40 kg down from my surgery weight And this Monday (03.12.12) is offically 3 months since the initial surgery date. I am really happy with my weight loss so far and hope to lose another 5kg before Christmas.
 
Hope this finds you all well, sleevers! Talk soon, Lila

OK, so I had a little bit of a set back today. After reading through other Sleevers blogs, and entries, I started noticing that I wasn't the only one who had a plan and a goal of when I had hoped to have surgery completed by. As I was reading, I saw a trend of people who had thought they were on the right track, only to be told they were going to have to wait longer. I'm one of them!
 
I have been doing the 6 months weight loss / program with Hills. Not the My True Body that held weekly classes, but I've had monthly weigh in's with my PCP, met still with a nutritionist, and completed the psych eval. What I wish, is that someone could have told me earlier to start getting my psych eval completed back in month 4 or 5 so not to wait any longer. The PE was completed on 11/12, but wasn't submitted to my PCP until yesterday, 11/26. Um, hello, what's the hold up?! I understand that there was a holiday in there, but really, two full weeks to make sure I'm of sound mind? That was frustration number 1! So yesterday, I speak with the PCP office, and they inform me that everything had been submitted, so I call the Insurance Coordinator to follow up with her, and don't hear back...so I call again today and she still hasn't received it. So back to the PCP doctor I go, and ask her to please follow up with the Coordinator, I'm dying to make this happen. Frustration #2: I hate not being in control. I'm always the one who does everything, for everyone, myself included. So not being able to receive the documents, and submit myself has been a bit frustrating.
 
I then call the surgeons office, speak to their coordinator to inform her of what is going on, and keeping her in the loop as we had a plan that I "should" be able to have everything completed by the end of the year...notice the quotes around "should", yea, Frustration #3! The coordinator informs me that she is now booking into the 2nd week of January! Now I know I didn't get unhealthy over night, and I know that I need to be patient, but the kicker in all this is that I'm getting married in 6 months, and I was hoping that I would have those 6 months to get used to my new body, new habits, new way of life, you know, the whole "NEW ME!" I'm afraid that the longer I have to wait, and the closer I get to my wedding, I'm going to turn into more of a basket case. Am I crazy to have WLS so close to my wedding, or am I just over thinking it? My job is planning weddings for other couples, so naturally, now that it's my turn, I'm close to having everything completed. However, I've been putting a lot of time and effort into researching the sleeve procedure, and getting myself ready and I had planned to start finalizing wedding details in January, you know, one big thing at a time...so tell me this, am I crazy??

HI everyone,
 
Well next Tuesday marks the official six week mark since I was tested and the leak was shown to have healed. It's been an up and down couple of weeks - I mistook pulled muscles in my tummy for a leak (and stopped eating and drinking for three days - whoops), have started very light exercise and have gone back to work part time.
 
It seems like a really slow recovery - I keep forgetting that less than 3 months ago I was in ICU on a ventillator fighting for my life I am really having to remind myself of how far I have come. I am actually going out for the first time with friends tonight to a charity dinner. It's a bit nerve wracking - mostly worried about the food and eating something that makes me sick. But I am also aware that unless I get out there, I will keep putting it off for ages.
 
I have been cleared to eat normally as of last Monday so I am sure it will be fine.
 
I am not sure what I weigh - haven't used the scales for two weeks. I don't even own scales myself so I have to use to one's at work I deliberately haven't bought scales as I know if I did, I would be on the damn thing twice a day So it's best for me to have a little forced restraint.
 
I am preoccupied with my health though and freak out everytime I get a sore stomach. I have one at the moment, probably just pulled muscles but it makes me so anxious that I find it hard to eat which really doesn't help me at all. I will have an appointment with my surgeon in mid-December so hopefully I will get the all clear to start back at the gym which I think I need to get some strength back...
 
Hope this blog finds you all well! Cheers, Lila

So I figure this is as good as journal.
 
I need to make sure I can have some system of record to track progress and see how I'm managing through this.
 
I can't begin to express my emotions. I'm so excited and every ounce of me feels like this is the right decision. Of course my mom is making so nervous with her over anxiousness. I keep trying to reassure her everything will be OK. I think, however, this speaks to a lot of fears within my family to try new things. It's so weird, my sister and I are just not cut from the same cloth as my family. She moved to Berlin just for the heck of it, I myself travel the world over at any and every chance. Yet, most of my family will not move further than 10 minutes from the other members. It's so bizarre.
 
Anywho, my surgery date is December 14th!!!
 
I'm so excited and I know it will be here before I know it. The last piece to all of this, is getting my passport renewed as I'm going to Mexico for my procedure.
 
I've already started my pre-op diet and walking 3 miles a day. I also bought a nutri-bullet. Surprisingly, it's actually help me beat the flu. I started my nutri-blasts the day I work up with an unbearable sore throat (that is always the first sign of a flu for me & it usually takes me down for a week or two). I will admit, 3 days of these nutri blasts and I feel great. I figured it would help me post-op when it was time to go to my soft food stage to help me get some better nutrients in. Whoever came up with that thing, is brilliant. I will admit, sometimes when I have more than 1 a day, I don't always add the green factor in & depending on the recipe, I allow myself a teaspoon of sugar or vanilla almond milk, but it definitely doesn't change the effect of getting all that good nutrition in me.
 
So yea I'm feeling great. Wish my surgery was earlier in December, just kind of ready to get it over with LOL. I've been mulling over this for like 5 years and for some reason, I know once I get going with this, I'm going to kick myself for not doing it 5 years ago. I guess the thing with me is that, I kept running into or hearing about people who were unsuccessful with bypass surgery or had complications with the band. The sleeve just makes more sense for me and I know this will be a tool that helps me succeed.
 
I guess I may as well start thinking of some rewards for myself. Here's a list to get started:
 
50 lbs = spa day
75 lbs = dance shoes
100 lbs = arjuni D
125 lbs = host huge event for friends
150 lbs = $1500 new wardrobe
Goal = book Europe trip to see my sis
 
I'm sure these will be tweaked a bit as time moves along, but it's a starting point and plenty of things to look forward too.

My surgery is now set for 12/11, and I'm so very excited. On Tuesday of next week I will start the liquid diet, and then I'll be counting the days until surgery.
 
Last night I decided to start organizing my closet. I'm a bargain shopper, so few of my clothes are terribly expensive, but I have a lot of clothes. As many of you can probably imagine, I also have many different sizes of clothes. Right now, I'm comfortable in a 20 and sometimes an 18. It's been many years since I've been less than a 16, though. Still, I'm not good at getting rid of my favorite clothes. I still have the size XL dress I wore to my college graduation in 1999. I found that last night as I sorted through my "I Have a Dream" section of my closet. My son graduates from high school this spring; wouldn't it be wonderful if I wore that dress to his graduation?
 
To save space, I always put my out of season clothes in a couple of rubbermaid tubs in the corner of my closet. Last night, my ritual had a strange element to it. Will I need those clothes in 6 months? I hope not! But I still couldn't find the nerve to give them away. So I compromised: I put some of the clothes that are big (or roomy) on me now in a pile for Goodwill, and then neatly folded the rest and put them in the tub. But before I closed it up, I took a moment to write myself a note.
 
Exactly what I wrote is kind of personal, but I was very aware of the fact that I will probably be very different-- at least in size, but I imagine in other ways as well-- when I open that tub this spring.
 
I'm glad I'm doing all of this, and documenting it. I've actually started loading video blogs into Youtube, but they are pretty amateur, so don't expect to be dazzled. Still, if you're interested, go to youtube and check out: NewAndImprovedJennie.

OK, so un-lucky me, I had to be one of the "UN-lucky" ones that had a very hard time with nausea either from the Anastasia, or the fact that my doctor had to also repair two hernia's while he did my sleeve! I had a higher up one and a belly button one too. I didn't feel to bad the day of my surgery, and thought, "Oh well, this isn't so bad"! Unfortunately the next day I was not doing so swell! I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a Mack truck, and so nauseated I just wanted to "leave my body", and go somewhere, anywhere else, but in my body right now feeling like I did. They gave me drugs to help with nausea, but it didn't help really at all. I hadn't pre-pared myself for feeling this badly! My poor husband felt so bad for me, and I could tell he wanted to help me, but there was nothing he could do for me! I thought I'd only be in for a couple days, but ended up in there from Tuesday morning until Friday morning! I got to say, I was thinking, "What did I do to myself"? That is until I got home, and felt a little better on Friday, a little more better on Saturday, and little more better on Sunday, and then woke up Monday morning feeling like a NEW women!! The nausea was completely GONE!!! Things actually smelled good again, my drinks actually tasted good again too. My wonderful nurse's in the hospital kept telling me that I would turn the corner one of these days, and start feeling better, and they were right! I went in for my post op check up, and I lost 5 pounds since day of my surgery, but I'm still swelled up, and have fluids from my hospital stay. Would I still do it if I knew then what I know now? Yes, yes I would! It will get better! I promise!

Well I joined Curves last week. I've gone before but lacked motivation. This time I have a new attitude and am motivated. The local Curves has a new owner and sure makes it more enjoyable. It just feels good to get moving and not sleep all the time.

Today I wish I was normal.Not only thin normal but not ADD or OCD and not I wish that I could take medication to "fix" me! All I wanted to do today was eat,all day long!I couldnt stop thinking about food for a minute.It was one of those me me me me days that I just hate.
 
And I wish I lived in a country where it wasnt such a mission to find a therapist that is going to stay put.But we are all expats,habitual movers!
 
Once I found a pill,for 2 weeks..lol.I went to my gp and said I am sick of myself and need something.He yanked a sample of Cymbalta out of his drawer and said try this and see me in 2 weeks,remember it only works after 10 days.After exactly 24 hours I knew that was what normal felt like.I was calm.My OCD was gone,my mind started focussing for the first time EVER!Didint have a 100 tracts playing in the head all at once!I could drive a car without it being a competition to see who wins,I could deal with life without the impending sense of doom and having to tell myself a million times a day that everything is fine,nothing to worry about.I slept a full night for the first time in my life and most important,my fear of people all but disappeared.
 
Then my kidneys function started being affected but I couldnt care less.After 10 days I could hardly walk but happy as I have ever been.Said they would have to wressle the little suckers out of my stone cold hand after my death.He just didnt give me a perscription and that was the end of that! Lol
 
I have been a born again Christian for 15 years now and the Lord have really changed me since then.But I am still me and non of the things I have considered very important like the above mentioned,have changed.I suppose there were so many other things that needed change that this might not even have made the list.I really love the Lord and I know He loves me but boy I wish He would renew my mind more! But He clearly has a plan for my life.And He clearly smiles patiently upon me when I tell Him to hurry up and change me more NOW!
 
Accepting ourself,warts and all, might be so important in a successful future with the sleeve.I am blessed beyond measure in so many aspects of life that I should be able to say its ok to be me.Its ok to not be perfect,its ok!
 
Well,it is the middle of the night now and close to my bed time.Tomorrow,or just now..hehehe...is a new day.I can put this one behind me,live just for the new one,not worry about the future and breathe.
 
God is good all the time and maybe I dont really need that pill.
 
 
 
 

Told my mom about going to Mexico for surgery. She is NOOOOOOOOT HAPPYYYYY. I cannot convince her that Dr Alvarez is high skilled and qualified. She said to tell him not to mess up!
 
She said she respects my decision and she's happy that Bestie is going with me. They will be here in ATL on the 24th so we'll do Christmas eve, Christmas, and then they'll probably head down to hang with my aunt and cousins and all the good people. I'll be off work, so I'll have a lot of time to rest up and get used to the sleeve.
 
My security deposit came out yesterday, so no going back now!
 
SO EXCITED.

It has been a 13 month process up to this point. Nutritionist for 6 months, doctor's visits, psych eval, run around, run around, run around, argue,wait,argue,wait, stress out, run around again . . . . and Finally Approved for surgery!!! annd . . . . . now we wait again!!! i dont know whats taking so long. im so stressed over this entire process. i feel a huge weight on my chest. . . . . still waiting

Ok, lemme 'splain what your looking at here: The brown thing is my shirt. The denim color is my pants and the white thing is my TRAY TABLE ALL THE WAY DOWN with a couple inches to spare!! The blue tabbie looking thing is MY SEATBELT, not only fastened without an extender, but a few inches pulled out. Then just to be a smart@$$, I went and used the airplane bathroom JUST because I could!! HAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! I love it. Oh, what 98 lbs can do for a person!! Love it. Don't give up, people!!!
 
 

Had a good week not just in terms of weight loss but more so emotionally. I am just really found myself admiring myself, loving the newfound me this week. I even had to check myself not to be looking in the mirror so much. I bought a dress pre-surgery that I loved but it was also only $8 so that made me love it even more...Well, it was an an "XL" and even still was pretty tight but I put on my spanx and made it work. (I had to walk with my legs squeezed because you could hear the spanx rubbing together. I had the leg kind on). Well, I wore this same dress on Wednesday and oh what a differnece. I wish I would have taken a picture now. But the dress was so much longer, dragging the floor even since it had less to go around. Those spanx that used to hold everything tight were actually too lose and so I put on another pair that I had outgrown...First no swishing as my legs dont overlap as they did...Still touch but no overlap...My stomach look as if it is was not there and the dress just flowed from me...Not snug in the least bit. In fact, I think I had my last wear in it because it will be too big by the time I put it back in the wear cycle.
 
My sleeve buddy posted in our FB support forum, how so many of her milestones are marked by her remembrance of her weight and as I got to thinking about I have several of those moments too...Weight really had taken over my own being...Funny thing is I am still marking milestones but its not marking them with a new look as my weight goes down. I go home to visit my family back in Arkansas and it will be the first any have seen of me since having surgery. I am both nervous and excited about their reaction. I think a lil more nervous then excited. I is my motivation to really work hard and maintain a straight line with diet compliance so that I can see 180lbs by Nov 19th. Pretty lofty goal but I know really think I can make it happen with "Two-A-Day" workouts...I love the Insanity workout which I do in the morning and then in the evening 4 days a week I will get my run on. And speaking of running, I committed myself to a running a half marathon on June 1, 2013. Keeping a goal such as this in front of me keeps me motivated to stay on the grind, particularly during the winter months when it becomes easy to get lazy with a warm blanket and hot chocolate.
 
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 196.2
CW 193.6 [Total Weight Loss 38.4]
GW 155

OK, so I'm on my 5th day of my pre-op L.Q. diet, and so far so good I guess. Gets a little tiring only being able to have a few different things to drink/eat everyday. Someday's it's harder than others, like when my hubby is making himself something to eat, and the smell of it fills the house! Everywhere you look there is adds for food, on TV, and the Internet. I miss the crunchy stuff most.
 
On another note, I have lost 5 pounds so far since I started the L.Q. diet, so counting that, and what I lost on my 6 month diet (I had to do for my insurance to approve me), I have lost a total of 52 pounds! It feels great, and I went from a tight size 26 woman's to a comfortable 20/22 woman's so far. I have also lost several inches all over my body! I can't wait to get my sleeve in just 10 more days! I can't wait to be an "average" size again!
It's been over 25 years since I haven't been a PLUS size gal! I hope all you other pre-op sleever's are doing well on your L.Q. Diet too!

Hey everyone...
 
On November 16th it's my last dietitian visit.
Last week I went to the heart doctor.. he said everything looks great.
Today I went to the lung doctor he told me my lungs are perfect but he wants me to do this machine over night (at home) to monitor how I sleep. GREAT
 
I gained about over 20 pounds since I started this journey and feel really down about it.
I should be getting surgery Dec/Jan. & I'm VERY excited!
 
Talk to meeee
I want to hear your stories.

It has been 7 months today since I had my sleeve.My goodness how different has this been from having the band.
 
The good.I weighed 195.8 today.Hehehe,couldnt say 196 could I?That is down 101.2 pounds since surgery.I am not a compulsive eater anymore.Neither am I a couch potato anymore.I play squash twice a week and exercise at least 3 other times per week.I am shrinking by the day and I am beginning to feel really good about this.I cannot eat away my emotions so I am slightly more moody but more in touch with myself as well.I am somewhat more serious now,dont always have to laugh or joke away my pain about my weight.I have been at this weight quite a few times before in my life so I am now excited to get thin for the first time in 22 years.
 
My bloodwork came back perfect.All my vitamin problems seems to have been solved with the shots I have received and my platelets are now normal.
 
The bad.Somehow I got a hernia on the right side where the dr's used the same spot for all 3 keyhole surgeries.It is painful to move and you must see me tape my stomach to play squash.I am also allergic to plaster so it is a vicious cycle at the moment as I cannot find compression garment that would help,plasters got to do the job for now.No one will do surgery until I am at my goal weight as it will be part of the body lift to fix this.
 
Since surgery I have had petechiae on my torso, upper legs and back 4 times (tiny little point bleeds all over the place) I am full of bruises and I thought it was because my B12 was quite low since surgery.Had a full house of bloods done this week and my dr phoned me this morning saying everything is perfect,even the D is 40 now and the B12 is almost too high,stop the pills and no injections anymore.When I asked him what ia causing the spots and bruises then he just said I dont know.This is a concern to me as where i pulled the little tape they puton after drawing the blood there is a bid red bleed under the skin now,not where the needle was in,but from the pressure of the tape.My theory about the spots is that every time I had a B12 injection I got the spots.And since I started taking the pills it came out again.Dr says not possilbe but there is a direct relationship between the 2.Anyhow,will keep an eye on it.
 
The extra skin is a nightmare but as I am single and not planning on being anything different,it is ok until I can get to goal and start scraping together the courage to go for plastics.My little one says my body is like a jelly spilling out of a cup..lol.
 
My body image is still seriously warped but I "feel" and "see" myself with the scale now and that helps a lot.i still wear a size 18,sometimes 16 clothes which seems very big still but I look much smaller than that as I am tall.Would really like to go to smaller sizes though.
 
Friendships have changed.It is super difficult to be with some of my very overweight friends now.They seem to be so uncomfortable around me.I do see why.We use to be fat together.We always talked and complained about it.We couldnt walk,run or do anything else and now all of this have changed for me.I am excited about life and really try to never make them feel bad about themselves.I do worry about them though as at our age the health issues are so many if you've been fat for so long.I dont say anything and try to never say anything about my surgery or weight loss.We dont eat cake together anymore but hey,I still do lunch.My best friend however have lost 28 pounds since I have had my surgery.She is only 4'11 and is still about 8 pounds from her goal weight but she looks fantastic.She wasnt going to stay chubby while I was losing weight and it has been a delight and pain in the butt as she lives on carbs even now.She still eats about 1800 cals every day and sometimes I find that hard.Jealous of what she can eat...lol.Not really!
 
The ugly.I am severly constipated since surgery.This is a big problem but I hope that once I get to goal and can increase my complex carbs I can add a lot of fibre to my diet.I also have hemoroids that I am never ever going to go to the dr for.This is the biggest and most terrible thing that could have happened to me..lol.No really.I hate this and dont know what to do about it.People say that the surgery for this is excruciating.Not happening!
 
The good.Did I say the good?Since the sleeve I have had to deal with the fact that I have been fat and extremely unhappy and on diet all of my adult life.It was an obsession like no other.It ruled every waking moment of my life.Honestly,I could never stop talking aout my weight,my diet,my failure,my excuse to not so stuff.I had zero self confidence in so many aspects of my life.This I have had to come to terms with now.I kissed out on a lot of things because I was too ashamed to do anything.My world (and Im an expat living in a foreign country) was always quite small and my life lived in anticipation of the day I would be thin,that was when I was going to start living see.
 
The sadness I experienced when different things started being possilbe was unbelievable.The regret of so much time waisted made me so depressed for a few months.But I have thought about all this a lot and I chose to move on now.Time is ticking by and regrets doesnt add to your life it just steals more time from it.I now choose to feel good about each day.
 
My attitude about food has changed.Tonight,after our weekend,we sat in the lounge after dinner and this use to be a big eating night in my life.I felt like a snack,not chips or chocolates...edamame beans...lol.My friend still thinks Im nuts as I really couldnt think of anything nicer to snack on.I go to the beach every day and we use to always eat on the beach,now I dont even think about it.
 
This whole process is sometimes difficult for me because I really wanted to be skinny yesterday..lol.My impatience drives me up the walls some days but this seems to be a great lesson to me too.I am a little less self centered,even though every sentence here started with I...lol and a bit more compassionate to others.
 
Weight loss surgery doesnt fix everything in life and I will surely always be somewhat OCD and messed up but I at least now look normal..lol.I dont really have the desire to just blend in with the crowd anymore as I realized unless I cut something off i will always be taller than most people I know.Other people's opinion of me doesnt really matter that much anymore and this is a great freedom in my life.I was a real peoples pleaser all my life and we know that you cant please all of the people all of the time, which made me very unhappy before.
 
My mother and sister is on a super strict diet as they are so scared I am going to be thinner than them when they see me in December and that can just be good for them.
 
So life is good.And I might freak out soon again if I have another stall,but thats life!
 
 
 
 

My teeny tiny 4'11 friend have lost 32 pounds recently.She just got a huge promotion and today we decided to buy her a whole new wardrobe of dresses and shirts.
 
Of course the old stuff had to be turfed.As she was emptying her closets she came to me and said that most of her stuff is size 14 but some is 16 and I must fit them on.Never thinking they could fit I reluctantly tried and boy what a surprize.
 
Even her work suites fit me.And as I am more curvy they look gooood! An even bigger surprize is the fact that all the size 14 skirts fit as well.The tops are still to tight around the bust though.
 
Tis is such a blessing because they have been nagging me to buy new clothes.But for a few bits and bops I havent wanted to buy new stuff yet.I want to wait until just before the christmas holiday when we go home and should be down even another size by then.
 
The best of this is I have been buying her clothes for her for years as she is just too busy and she hated clothes shopping.I also have much better dress sense than her so she's got some really nice stuff.
 
Now I have new stuff and she has new stuff.She looks like a million dollars in all her new outfits and my kids mouths were hanging open when I walked into the lounge with some of her clothes on.
 
So I am shrinking,I just didnt realize it until today.
 
O and as we were walking,we played the size game again.I have to show her women I think are the same size than me and she would tell me yes or no and then show me people that are rally the same size than me.I still find it hard to believe when I see the people she shows me.But it helps me get in touch with my size slowly but surely.