Montereygrl

As of today I am 8 weeks post-op. I have exceeded my goal of reaching my pre-pregnancy weight by christmas. I broke out all of my pre-pregnancy clothes and they all fit perfectly. Soo excited, and so glad I didnt give up on myself and throw them out..accepting myself at 233lbs. As of this passed Monday I now weigh 186lbs. I was sleeved August 8th, 2013. Weighing 216 thanks to a 14 lb weight loss on pre-op diet. (230) I was an old mlae aquaintance at the gym yesterday. My first thought was oh I hope he doesnt see me. I have tried to avoid seeing people that I havent seen since gaining weight from my pregnancy (50lbs) But it dawned on my, I am the same weight now as when I made my grand entrance into a friends wedding wearing a sexy black dress and turned a few heads (including his) I kept on walking kind of in awe at how far I have come in such a short time, and also realizing, that my mind has yet to catch up wih my new body. I am still 230 lbs in my head. But Let me tell you I feel great! I still have a long way to go, But as of today I cant wait for what the future brings. I reread my past blog entries from a few months ago and I was nearly in tears. This is truely the best decision I have ever made for myself. I have had NO issues with food what so ever. I can pretty much eat anything on my approved foods list. I did stall for over 2 weeks once I hot 191lbs. Then I had my AF and afterwards 5 lbs magically. During AF I had an overwhelming urge to graze during the day. I had me very worried that my appetite had increased and I was failing. But after the 5 lb weight loss I realized it was just that TOM. I do have to watch the grazing as i have 2 kids and its very easy to pick at their leftovers, and just snacking in general. I also find that after a meal I dont stay that full for long.. Not hungry but not FULL. I started back at the gym 5 days a week. Only 20 minutes on treadmill and 20 minutes or so of weight training. I found that I was hungrier after doing so much so I decreased my gym to 3 days a week but still try to get in a walk every day. I went to the mall the other day and didnt feel weird walking in regular size stores. I hated the clothes however because they all seem like oversized shirts. Hello,, wheres the tight tuck me in at the waist clothes. So at least I wasnt tempted to spend money.. lol My hubby and I booked an all inclusive getaway without the kids for my birthday February 23rd, 2014. I hope by then I will be at or near my personal goal of 145-150lbs. When we went away on our honeymoon I was 170lbs and felt great. I can only imagine being 145lbs. My next goal for myself is 170lbs which is my wedding weight and will try on my wedding dress! If I can meet this goal by Christmas/New years I will be thrilled. FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I HAVE FINALLY FOLLOWED THROUGH ON MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!

So today I met with my surgeon for the first time since surgery. (Surgery date 9/11/13) He was very pleased with everything including the 15 pounds that I have loss since 8/30/13 one month ago when I had my pre surgery appointment. I have been cleared to start back up my work out/exercise program. I have been doing the Lesile Sansone walking DVDs since February when I started my 6 month pre surgery wait. I swear by them and give them the credit for my 64 pound pre-surgery weight loss. Also cleared me to be romanic with my husband again! yippee! And also I leave pureed behind and start introducing more textrued foods. Today for dinner we grilled Maui Maui and I ate 1.7 ounces just by chewing and chewing and did I mention chewing. I had a tiny bit of heart burn, but over all nothing bad.
I feel great and overall am excited to begin a more normal routine.

I put on the dress that I have on in my before picture...I asked my 7 yr old to take a picture of me today! Just 2 months out! He said, "mom, you don't like taking pictures!" So I told him to just take it! I was so surprised when I did the side by side photo, what did we ever do without these!!! Holy crap...I SAW the difference!
 
Is it possible to look at yourself everyday and NOT see the changes? In my case YES!!! I'm still working on my mind seeing me as a lighter version of myself...and sometimes I just don't see it...but today I did! And for the first time in a long time I like what I am seeing!
 
Happy Friday, and thanks for listening to my rant!!!!

I saw my dr today, he said I am doing amazingly well. I've been moved to puréed stage, I went and got some lentil soup and puréed. I bought 4. oz snack packages and puréed it, then filled each with about 2-3 oz of soup. I ate one to night, no problems so far. Super excited for the next stage.
 
Oh weight lost 9 days post op I lost 17 lbs.

Why, yes it is. My mother is two weeks post op, I get my surgery date in two weeks, and My sister really wants to loose a few extra pounds. So what could three fantastic ladies do to accomplish thier goals of skinny jeans, and shirt sizes with no Xs on them? They start training for a 5k! More specifically, the Dirty Girl Mud Run. The proceeds go the help with breast cancer research, it isn't timed, its only for wemon, it has mud AND obstacles! And as if it couldn't get any better, if the obstacales are too much for you, they have detours. This sounds like a recipe for the warm and tingly feelings of accoplishment, pride, girl power! It also sounds like a perfect starting 5k for someone who wouldn't run if you were chasing me with a knife. This may sound mundane to you but our idea of a family endurance sport is seeing who stays awake the longest after dinner. We aren't athletic and never have been. In fact, in my current state, I would probably get about a quarter mie before I curled up in the fetal position and cried. But I have high hopes for the future runner buried deep, deep,deeep within me. We are stating C25K, as soon as my surgeon clears me. It will be interesting to see how we handle this. I think its going to be awesome! They have a mud slide, you guys, a mud slide. nuff said.

Well...GOOD morning!!!! I took the advice I was given and ran with it! I am trying...trying...trying to up my calorie intake, that is very difficult, but I am managing!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOO...as the title states, IT MOVED!!! The scale, it moved, it moved, it moved!!! And I got so excited, I told my hubs...he likes to joke around and he said, "well the scale does move when you get on!!" I just said, "HONEY!!" He laughed and I said my stall is gone for now, now that makes me HAPPY!!! It was stuck, on 208 forever! NOW...it reads 203.8!!! Yippee!!! I have to say, we are all on this journey and I am super thankful, daily, that I have the support that I have, and I will help be a support to anyone who needs it! This is for the rest of our lives and that is the really exciting part!!! We get to have energy, function without losing our breath, exercise and not still be jiggling even when we are done, live longer, have a healthy relationship with food, give our families the BEST of us...the list goes on and on! I'm just so excited to see and hear about everyone's progress, it just makes me smile!!!

I have been lost in thought for awhile, running all kinds of emotions.
So I thought I will do my old standby. Make a List...
a List of Why I am wanting to keep my head up & not cheat, not give in to my belly...
all its moaning & groaning of thinking it wants something Sweet or Salty... or something besides Shakes, protein, veg's or a single piece of fruit..
 
things I want to be able to do.
~sit in a both when I go out to with my family.
~not have to worry about whom is driving, due to the seatbelt issue.
~ride any fair or amusement park ride.
~be able to go buy cloths that don't come from The Big Girl section (basically anything without a X or few)
~be able to not have fear of people asking when I'm Due.
~for that matter no terrible comments or remarks.
~to be able to actually Smile without hiding the pain of something.
~to not have to worry if I drop something & have to pick it up in public.
~be able to go swimming at a public pool without giggles.
~when family & friends gets together to not worry about a chair breaking.
~to be able to ride the dirt bike.
~to be able to wear high heels again when I feel like it.
~to do a 5K without walking.
~going skiing.
~go tubing.
~go rollerblading again.
~ride a horse without extra stress.
~go on the zip-line.
~go golfing without getting to tired.
 
 
I have many more that have rolled through my head & now that I sit to type they have disappeared.
This Journey is for me, for my Health & Happiness.
Sometimes I just have to remember that.
 
this was just a quick rant.
I'm so ready for this change.
Happy Trails to everyone on their own Journey!

I wanted to FINALLY post a pic. The before picture is a couple days after surgery...probably about 300 pounds. In progress photo is my current picture (on my way to the gym) at 208. I am 5'6" My highest weight was 311 before surgery, but got down to 298 on my 1 week liquid diet for surgery day.

So before I get too far, let's just acknowledge that the problem is me. For whatever reason, I find myself really irritable, even with people I ordinarily love and adore. NOTHING is wrong in reality but man! I'm cranky! Working hard at controlling it. This is not the usual me. It's not hunger, it could be hormones from the weight loss? I don't know.
 
But on the positive side, hey hey! First work-related trip yesterday! I just did fine and today, put in a whole days's worth of work with no trouble. Dinner with client still to be done, but feeling good. It feels really good to be back to normal.
 
And very scary. While I was at home, I could control the food we had around us, meal times, shakes, etc. Now, outside in the real world, it has become abundantly clear to me how people eat around their sleeve and gain weight. I still have to make smart choices. Cake still sounds better to me than grilled chicken breast. The bread that arrived with my dinner looked like it would taste just fine rolled around in the oil and butter that accompanied it.
 
Everywhere I go, there is food I have decided not to eat. I mean, EVERYWHERE. I read all the vets saying how this was just a tool, and that I still had to make the right choices, and each time, I nodded my head and I thought I knew what it meant. Honestly now? I don't think I understood it until I got on this trip. There is "bad" food everywhere. I always have a choice. And I will almost always have to fight temptation to not eat the bad food.
 
Now that I am on real food, it's a much bigger challenge. I am measuring my food out, because if I didn't, I'm quite sure I could comfortably eat more than 1/4 of a cup of food. I understand that down the road, maybe that's okay. But this early into soft foods, I shouldn't take a chance.
 
So I still have to make smart choices. And I still have the limit quantities. The sleeve won't do that for me. I will have to do that for the sleeve.
 
It's a rude awakening and a much-needed reality check. So although I'm irritable today, I'm also grateful that I learned this lesson, and that I did that without breaking the rules.
 
I think this is my next big challenge now that I have healed from the surgery. So bring it!

Well it’s been a while hasn’t it?! I believe an insanely long blog entry is in order!!
I want to first say that due to you, my dear VST people, nothing that has happened has been a surprise, and that has been really, really nice
 
I had my sleeve surgery on Wed., May 22nd. My “call time” was 1 pm, and my surgery was scheduled for 2:45. I believe I was #3 on my surgeon’s docket for the day. My parents, my husband and I arrived and were all ushered into pre-op, where I was asked to go behind a curtain and put on a hospital gown. I was so interested in the conversation my parents and husband were having that I rushed, and when I popped out from behind the curtain, the nurse said “No honey, you’ve got it on backward”. Lol. I was wearing it like a robe. So I had to switch it. Then I climbed into bed and my family sat in front of me in chairs – felt like I had an audience. The nurse was extremely nice – she got me all covered up and warm under the blankets and this special inflatable thing that blew warm air on me. I also got the leg-squeezy things and some fab socks with nonskid rubber on the bottom.
 
Another nurse came by and started an IV – I asked what was in it and she said it was basically Gatorade without sugar. I’m guessing there was no color or flavor either. Then I heard some commotion and found out that my surgeon was running ahead of schedule so they’d be taking me early (!) The anesthesiologist came over. This was the first time I’d met him, and let me tell you, he was so adorable I would have gone anywhere with him! But alas, he only wanted to take me to the OR…. lol. Before we left, he put something in my IV that made me goofy – I remember looking at my family and saying “ooh that was fast” and then someone putting the shower cap type thing on my head & I had to help because I have long hair. I remember being wheeled into the OR, and once in there they had me scooch onto a different table. I think. That could well have been after – it’s one of those weird disconnected memories. Anyways, I do know that my surgeon was there and they started introducing all the support team “this is John, and you know Dr. Z, and here’s Vern “ and I was chuckling to myself like you guys really think I care at this point who’s who? I think they were chuckling too – I just remember that there was happy banter and/or joking as they went about prepping me, and it was a good feeling all around to have happy people around me.
 
Next thing I knew someone was calling my name, and I surfaced VERY reluctantly from a deep sleep. Once I let them know I was awake they left me alone, and I could drift in and out all I wanted. At times I had pain in my upper belly and felt a little nauseous. What’s interesting is that it is such a distant memory now it hardly seemed like anything as far as the pain goes. I was aware of another patient in the recovery room – a large man who was moaning a lot. In my drugged out mind, this made me feel the need to do some moaning of my own just so I wouldn’t be forgotten. LOL. No logic there, just instinct. Someone was apparently standing behind me monitoring my machines, because pretty soon they said it was time to go and my bed started moving. We went in the elevator and pretty soon I saw my family come into view as I was wheeled past them to my room. I felt very concerned with making sure they knew I was just fine, so I was saying hi and trying to smile. But boy I was still pretty high!
 
Once in my room, I began to experience some more pain. I must say it is nearly impossible to assign a number to pain. I think I’m a people pleaser, and I was like “oh it’s not so bad, a 4? Maybe?” But it was a bit worse than that. My mom said she could tell I was in pain because she could see my blood pressure going up. The nurse gave me morphine in my IV, and within a few minutes I felt no pain, but I did feel the nausea. I salivated a lot, but I breathed through it without heaving, thank goodness. In retrospect, the pain must have been gas and the nausea was from the morphine.
 
I drifted in and out for a few hours, then in the evening I got the nurse to disconnect me from everything but the IV, so I could walk and go to the restroom.
From that time on, I honestly had no real pain. I used gas x strips every 3 hours, burped a little, didn’t toot at all I felt the tiniest bit of the gas in my neck, but even that came and went quickly. They never had to put the oxygen thing back in my nose because my oxygen levels stayed good (yay for me for quitting smoking!!!)
 
My hospital stay was uneventful. The tray they brought the next day was silly – I asked if there was any protein in any of it, and when I was told no, I thought why waste the time & tummy space? I ate some to prove no problems, and then was released to go so I could start working on protein My surgeon came by and said everything went really well. I have one incision in my belly button and two more "punctures" high up on my left side. These are smaller than a grain of rice and I'm sure will be undetectable once healed. I'm still completely amazed at this surgeon's skill -- to think that 85% of my stomach was removed and no one will ever be able to see a scar -- blows my mind. He said I was good to go if I wanted. Once unhooked from the IV, I admit I didn’t feel nearly as perky as I had when I was hooked up to it. But they let me walk out on my own and I did not have to do the wheel chair ride.
 
The next 2-3 days were all about sleeping. I tried my darndest to get fluid & protein in, but I felt pretty nauseas. Had the super-saliva production thing going on a couple of times where I thought I would start heaving, but I never did, thank goodness. My sweet husband would run to bring me a paper towel to spit the saliva into (I mean I was producing tremendous amounts of saliva when I got nauseas! sorry if TMI) and then he would rub my back and say sweet things to me while I took deep breaths and let it pass. Nausea sucks. But! By day 3 it was ALL gone. Ever since then all I can say is that the vague soreness in my tummy has gotten MUCH better every day, and the tiredness is slowly getting better. Day 4 after surgery I went on a very short trip to Target and was amazed to stop and think about the surgery I’d just had and that I was out walking around. After about 10 minutes though, I was headed to the lawn furniture department for a lil break
 
I have a desk job, and I took just short of 2 weeks off work – I honestly can’t imagine taking more than that with how normal I feel. Yes, I am pretty damn tired right now, but c’mon, I was tired all the time before surgery! It’s just going to get better and better.
 
Today is the last day of ‘full liquids’. Tomorrow I get pureed! Hooraaaaay! Been daydreaming about cottage cheese lol. The liquid diet has begun to go literally right through me. Yes I get hungry but nothing like presurgery. Once I drink a few sips off a protein drink, I am satisfied. However, within half an hour, it is coming out tha other end if you know what I mean. TMI I know, but I’m here to tell it like it is So I’m hoping that pureed foods will be just what I need to set things right in that department. I had my first poo maybe 3 or 4 days post op and it was normal, if a bit small. I was very happy not to have the severe constipation some folks have immediately post op. I know it could still happen, but at least I’ll be a little further out from surgery.
 
Last I checked, I had lost 20 lbs since the start of pre-op, and about 10 lbs since surgery (about a lb per day). HOWEVER – and here’s something really fun --- my husband accidentally kicked my scale into the wall in the dark and it shattered into a million pieces. I had left it out in the middle of the floor – my bad So... I haven’t weighed in days! I’ve ordered a new fancy scale on Amazon, and I think it will be kinda neat to just wait until it arrives. I know I’m losing weight. But for some reason, my immediate focus is not the weight loss, it’s just about doing what I should be doing.
 
I really feel like I made the right decision for me, and honestly, it has been a good experience so far. looking forward to feeling better and better and better!
 
ONWARD!