slvrsax

I am leaving monterrey today and the nurse who remembers me from 2 years ago was wowed by how invisible my scars are. Seriously stretch marks are more noticeable! The funny remark was that it helped a lot that I am "so white". yes I am the one that blinds people on the beach with my ridiculously pale complexion - glad to find an advantage! Ha
Disadvantages - sunburns, skin cancer ( my mother had malignant melanoma ). And I like the sun and beach!
I hope have not blinded or offended anyone today, but I was very worried about scars pre plastics and am grateful how well its turned out.

I got pretty burned out on meeting guys online...most just not interesting to me. I felt bad, but I was the woman you guys complain about, meet for a coffee or a drink, have a nice chat, but I am not into the second or third date. Like 98percent of the time (ok, I don't keep records but just go along with me here). Not only was I burned out on the waste of time, but I disappointed others who were"into" seeing me again. I decided I needed to just stop. I discussed some things with a counselor I used to see, I thought alot about how I was contributing to this and examined my inner resistance.
One issue for me is just not finding dates attractive. I have tried to "get over it" but that combined with being intellectually uninteresting to me...oh my, do I just give up? Are all the good ones taken? Actually the dating pool does seem to have a high percentage of people with issues, but surely half the problem was my inner resistance. My counselor helped me see this and to help recognize it. I decided I needed to prioritize, to clarify what actually makes a difference to me. Example, I tried dating overweight men (many are overweight in the age 50 crowd) but that didn't work out at all because of lifestyle, preferred food and activities, not because of looks. There are many elements of"attraction" and I needed to adjust my thinking about it.
In the meantime, I went on dates with a couple of men who I met in real life who asked me out one was super attractive the second really nice. I was thinking...this is how I want to meet someone. Well, the charming, handsome one turned out to be a married, lying manipulator. The other one is nice, but is still a roommate with his ex, and just as importantly told me he always avoids conflict...you know by evasion or capitulation. Someone on this forum once advised us to listen for people when they say these things....and I did. I know that I need an authentic person who is at the stage in life ready to be their true selves...well being true to myself I know i don't do well with that personality type. I much prefer direct.
Somehow in all this I met someone else, I actually just dropped in on a different dating website on a wild hair, "S". He is articulate, but not charming, fit and attractive but no interest in dressing well or otherwise making the most of his tall athletic build. Before we met, we exchanged long emails and low and behold,, so far everything has turned out to be genuine. He lives further away and has younger kids than my criteria, but I decided to give it a chance. When we first met, I was taken with his knowledge, wit and hotbod, but in spite of his very articulate, friendly nature, I also sensed a serious nature and perhaps a bit of shyness. He told me right up front that he just didnt seem to be the kind of guy women want (ah, sensitive, online dating is full of arbitrary and capricious rejection). My inner resistance kicked in, mostly because I thought he was pretty amazing compared to the average and I wondered what deep dark secrets were hiding.
Our first actual date was going to a haunted house...I haven't laughed that hard in awhile! Our most recent date was going to an audience participation of"the princess bride" where we engaged in full on sword fights (inflatable swords) and slaughtered ROUS. How fun is that? I find him really growing on me and while it is early days, it is going very well. I am pretty sure we are going target shooting this weekend. He is fitter than I am (I have some issues going on right now) but his motorcycle racing hobby has left him with some lingering issues too so he is quite comfortable with my current rehab and the limits it brings. (Side note I aspire to be able to hike again by spring, in spite of my messed up hip).
This story is just an example of how nice he is. This country bumpkin completely misunderstood a serious of complex signs regarding parking in the city(only in Seattle do you need to diagram out the sentence, with punctuation, to grasp the status of that particular space that particular time of day) and I got a parking ticket. He wanted so badly to pay that ticket for me! I wouldn't let him, but I realized something at that moment...he wanted me to keep going through the effort to see him. He is not a charming sweet talker, but his actions are always around pleasing me, making me feel important to him.
I am not claiming he is"the one" - we still live quite a ways apart and he has half custody of two teens....both kinda a negative BUT I am really happy and comfortable with things so far. It gives me hope that I can find someone fit, my age, actually single and who is genuinely nice and treats me so well. A smarter girl would probably leverage his notion that"women aren't into his type" ,but I have told him repeatedly that whoever he met was nuts and just had no idea how great he really is. He is a self confident person in all other aspects I have seen, and I hope if nothing else our relationship winds up building both of us "up" as it relates to a healthy love life.

Not to be rude but she loved you no matter your weight but you can not do the same??
Sounds pretty selfish to me....

yeah. I guess I have a different perspective. My husband loved me when I was 125 lbs - he loved me when my weight ballooned up to 275 lbs and he loves me now that I am slowly loosing the weight. He cares and supports me through every decision I have made - even if he doesn't always agree or understand. Has he always wanted me to be thin and healthy - yeah, for sure - but he never withdrew his love because of it.
I loved him when he was a buff lean healthy man. loved him when he smoked for 20 years and I would have done anything to help him quit. I loved him when he finally quit. I loved him when he became a type 1 diabetic. I loved him when he had pancreatic cancer and nearly died. I loved him through a year of recovery from a whipple procedure. I loved him when he was diagnosed with leukemia. I loved him through all his chemo treatments - and still love him today - just as I did when I met him 41 years ago.
I know that a lot of things can cause a marriage to fall apart. I can tell you in no uncertain terms if there was abuse I would not tolerate it - but in my marriage vows I made a commitment 'to have and to hold till death do us part' Things aren't always perfect or easy.....sometimes it takes courage and understanding and just plain love to see it through.

I started Zumba before surgery but resumed classes about 8 weeks out.

Hello everyone,
Haven't been here in a while. Oh man can I relate to the hunger coming back! I sure hope that Grehlin monster isn't back!!!! That slimy SOB caused me years and years of misery. Some is head hunger but some is genuine hunger. I have to ask myself every time--OK are you physically hungry? Or-do you just want to stuff food in your mouth because your brain thinks you should? I do feel rather proud of myself when I resist temptation and God knows it's EVERYWHERE.
I've gained some of my weight back but I realize it's a daily battle I must engage in to keep the majority of the weight off. I am a compulsive over-eater--sleeve or no sleeve. One Day At A Time, (ODAAT) is how I will have to live my life. I remember from Over-eater's Anonymous, (OA) meetings. The compulsive over-eater monster is outside doing push-ups to battle you while you are successful at keeping it at bay. It just waits for the chance to pounce on you. The program works when I WORK IT--and I AM WORTH IT!
It whispers seductively in your ear--"You deserve to eat that" , "One little bite" , "You know you want it" . All those phrases it whispered in your ear before the sleeve and even more so now.
I just have to keep up the fight--no different than any other addict.
Blessings,
Kathleen

Perhaps this is a normal stage of the process for us, but I am having trouble dealing with even the small weight gain.
My workouts are more stringent than ever, but my snacking has definitely increased. I'm snacking on Cereal, but still logging/counting calories. Carbs definitely higher, but still not too bad.
I'm thinking of just stopping the Cereal, though, as that seems to be a trigger for more eating ....

@@Andrew0929 I could have written your post. I had my surgery same timeframe you did and am experiencing something similar. I am changing up my exercise starting this week. Nothing more wants to come off and I've even gained a little. Scares the heck out of me. I had a bodpod assessment done in July (helpful tool by the way) and it confirmed what I thought - my resting metabolic rate is lower than it should be and I have very little muscle mass. Kettleball classes are starting tonight!

@@Andrew0929 I could have written your post. I had my surgery same timeframe you did and am experiencing something similar. I am changing up my exercise starting this week. Nothing more wants to come off and I've even gained a little. Scares the heck out of me. I had a bodpod assessment done in July (helpful tool by the way) and it confirmed what I thought - my resting metabolic rate is lower than it should be and I have very little muscle mass. Kettleball classes are starting tonight!

Ooooh.... "extrapolatability" and "f**k" in practically the same sentence? Love it!!! Who says people curse because they lack the vocabulary to express themselves properly?

I had my sleeve Dec 2011 also - and I promise you it is harder for me now than it was a year or two ago as well. I am 10# over my goal, and taking steps to reverse that and get back under goal.
I think you know what to do, it is just hard to get on track.
For me, I find that focusing on reducing cravings helps alot. So, step one is I would plan 5 "mini meals" a day. Notice I didn't say 3 meals and a snack or two... The mini meals should each have 12-15 grams of Protein and some veggies. I personally limit fruit, but do eat berries because i find that the sugar in fruit makes me hungry. Eat enough to no longer be hungry, but not necessarily "full" or "stuffed". You may sometimes chose to incorporate whole grain bread, high carb veggies (your choice) but I strongly recommend avoiding sugary things as they tend to be triggers. I also think avoiding highly processed/junky kind of food as they contain so much bad stuff and not very much nutrition (pizzas, fried foods, all that)
I am guessing that your brain has forgotten that sensation of "I have had enough" so it is almost like retraining... heck... you get to eat again in just a few hours so no need to try to prevent hunger, right?
Between these mini meals, you need to work out getting in lots of Water. So, it is like going back to those early weeks and months post op when you had to plan everything out.
I also found that getting basic health stuff in order helps. Take those Vitamins, do something active everyday, get enough sleep, have a satisfying social life... the basic "hygiene" kind of stuff really help. I have noticed that my eating is much more likely to go a bit out of control when i am overly tired or stressed or whatever.
I also think it is wise to see your doctor NOW. There is no shame, it is a tough struggle and we all got WLS in the first place because we needed help.

@@slvrsax, if your having dizzy and falling symptoms you should have your thyroid checked or see if your electrolytes are off. I started taking Iron and chlorophyll pills along with my Multivitamins ands now it's much better. ..in the upper 50's to mid 60's which is normal.

Good for you! Any weight loss achievement is to be applauded, no matter the method and no one way is better than any other as long as the end result of better health and fitness is achieved.
I've got to ask, @@Chuckster . You just recently joined this forum (a weight loss surgery support forum), you lost a whole lot of weight non surgically, and both posts you've made since joining have been about losing weight non-surgically. What's your agenda in being here?

Good for you...congratulations!
I am 63 years old, and have experienced what you are experiencing dozens of times...only to gain it all back, and then some.
It was frustrating to say the least. I simply do not have the self discipline or will power to make it stick.
Lets face it...that's why I was obese in the first place....
So, I had Weight Loss surgery...to do what I was incapable off doing myself...and this is permanent!
I have no fear of ever gaining it back, nor do I have to work hard at maintaining it. I don't have to count calories nor follow any specific diets. No more "White Knuckling" it.
I have many friends who eat right, go to the gym, and live healthy, fit, and skinny lives, and they did not have WLS....so it can be done.
But for me, this is exactly what I needed!! And this is what worked for me.
Just like my skinny friends, I eat right, go to the gym,,and I am healthy, fit, and skinny....BUT in the background, the Lap band is there quietly doing it's job for me.
Again..,congratulations....
BTW, I had to do a medically Supervised 6 month pre-op diet....I did very well for about 4 months, then started to slide back, then failed...
Just Like every diet I have been on, and also proving to my Insurance, for the record, Diets do not work for me.

I go to the gym at 5:30 am, and aside form my morning coffee and Water I drink while working out, I have always worked out on an empty stomach....the theory is to use the energy stored away as excess fat that I have been carrying for all these years in case of famine for this hunter-gatherer...
I also believe in burning excess calories...not burn calories for something I just ate.
Afterward I would have a high Protein "Recovery" smoothie, low calorie.
It worked for me, I was able to burn away ALL my excess fat....
It may not be for everyone, but you can Google it...it is a popular practice.

@@tianna615 I started Zumba with a groupon 2 months before surgery to see if I even liked it. I felt I absolutely had to find some form of exercise I enjoyed, but I'm an introvert by nature so dancing didn't seem like a good fit but by golly it was! After surgery I returned at about seven weeks and started with half an hour at a time and worked my way up to more. By four months out I was going to class about 4 times a week and keeping up pretty well. At times the low calorie diet of that first year post op gave me dizzy spells and I just had to listen to my body and stop. I'm 19 months post op, down 113 lbs and 10 lbs or so from goal. I still go and really love it!
@@AngelaWilliamsMD at almost 280 lbs, I did feel pretty awkward initially, in fact I flat walked out of class a few times. Before WLS I'd had a gym membership and was totally bored with the treadmill, I had to find something I liked but that required getting out of my comfort zone to try new things. I'm so glad I did. I started in the back of the class room mortified to even be there at my size praying that no one noticed my mistakes, now I'm in the front and don't mind it a bit. It took me five months to work up the courage to even look in the mirror! I'm glad I stuck it out because now I totally look forward to going. Besides, I've made some wonderful friends in the process.

@@tianna615 I started Zumba with a groupon 2 months before surgery to see if I even liked it. I felt I absolutely had to find some form of exercise I enjoyed, but I'm an introvert by nature so dancing didn't seem like a good fit but by golly it was! After surgery I returned at about seven weeks and started with half an hour at a time and worked my way up to more. By four months out I was going to class about 4 times a week and keeping up pretty well. At times the low calorie diet of that first year post op gave me dizzy spells and I just had to listen to my body and stop. I'm 19 months post op, down 113 lbs and 10 lbs or so from goal. I still go and really love it!
@@AngelaWilliamsMD at almost 280 lbs, I did feel pretty awkward initially, in fact I flat walked out of class a few times. Before WLS I'd had a gym membership and was totally bored with the treadmill, I had to find something I liked but that required getting out of my comfort zone to try new things. I'm so glad I did. I started in the back of the class room mortified to even be there at my size praying that no one noticed my mistakes, now I'm in the front and don't mind it a bit. It took me five months to work up the courage to even look in the mirror! I'm glad I stuck it out because now I totally look forward to going. Besides, I've made some wonderful friends in the process.

@@tianna615 I started Zumba with a groupon 2 months before surgery to see if I even liked it. I felt I absolutely had to find some form of exercise I enjoyed, but I'm an introvert by nature so dancing didn't seem like a good fit but by golly it was! After surgery I returned at about seven weeks and started with half an hour at a time and worked my way up to more. By four months out I was going to class about 4 times a week and keeping up pretty well. At times the low calorie diet of that first year post op gave me dizzy spells and I just had to listen to my body and stop. I'm 19 months post op, down 113 lbs and 10 lbs or so from goal. I still go and really love it!
@@AngelaWilliamsMD at almost 280 lbs, I did feel pretty awkward initially, in fact I flat walked out of class a few times. Before WLS I'd had a gym membership and was totally bored with the treadmill, I had to find something I liked but that required getting out of my comfort zone to try new things. I'm so glad I did. I started in the back of the class room mortified to even be there at my size praying that no one noticed my mistakes, now I'm in the front and don't mind it a bit. It took me five months to work up the courage to even look in the mirror! I'm glad I stuck it out because now I totally look forward to going. Besides, I've made some wonderful friends in the process.

This post honestly could not have come at a better time. Had my sleeve done there too and I'm scheduled for my LBL 7/13/15 with Dr Medina and am getting very excited about it. I know this will be very different from my sleeve though. Getting the house prepared at this time is my main concern and getting in optimal condition for recovery preop with my Vitamins and Protein supplements. Thanks for posting!!

I have finally reached my goal at 148 pounds after losing 230 pounds, 2 years after sleeve operation with Dr.Ortiz @ OCC in Tijuana Mexico.
I also had Arm and Breast lift and skin removal in November . Followed by a belt-Lipectomy in March and Exstended Thigh lift and Upper Eye Lid Surgery in June.
All Plastic Surgeries were done by Dr Medina Sanchez at Ariel Center or OCC in Tijuana, he is the Chief of Plastic Surgery . My Results are amazing and I had no complications. There are before and after pictures in my profile Gallery. If you are looking into Plastic surgery After weight loss, I highly Recommend Dr Medina.
After dramatic weight loss you are faced with Loose skin. Yes, I will have scars, but they are worth it. And they become a very fine line that you can almost not see anymore. Well worth the results. The surgeries were painless for me.Your mobility is limited for the first 2 weeks and you find out how hard it is to get out of bed when you cant use your abs. Or how difficult it is to bend over and pick things from the floor. I was walking and doing normal activities within 2 weeks of surgery. We all heal differently, and i healed quickly. I did use compression garments because they do help with swelling and protect the scaring. I wore them each time for 4 weeks.
I love my Plastic Surgery results. I made me more confident, I feel good about myself, I enjoy a lot more of what life has to offer. I can go out in public without feeling that people are looking at me differently.I am healthy. I love traveling and now I can fit easily and comfortable in a middle seat on the plane. And after 30 years of hiding I bought a bikini, that I will proudly wear this summer at age 50. I have rediscovered myself. Thank you Dr Medina Sanchez, Dr Ortiz and the staff at OCC for your help on my life journey . It has been a wonderful experience.

I have been thinking of this for awhile and finally tried it! Salsa is hard but bachata is fun! It is too bad so few men like to dance but I hear that the"salsa scene" is less like that. I have also found a place to practice my very limited swing dancing skills so planning on those social dances too.
I am really looking forward to getting a bit more confident and brushing up the few dance skills i do have!

I am not in a relationship right now, trying to avoid diving into one..just taking it slow. It is a great time to work on stuff I want to do/get better at.

I never said I was coordinated or good at it. LOVE it anyway!! No one cares if you go left when they go right, zig when you are supposed to zag, everyone is very accepting and just there for a great time while burning calories.
https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=JN.baQli2QOqXHo9aL3bOtf%2bw&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0/

@@slvrsax, I adore Zumba but have the same issues with vertigo! I Thought it was just me but it's interesting to read that wls could be the cause ( one of the many reasons I love this forum).
Also, you are so right, as I started to lose weight, the moves got easier.
Zumba is an exhilarating work out, love it!

I adore Zumba, been dancing since 2 months before surgery! It has been my primary exercise for loss/maintaining. My instructor is a former NFL cheerleader so the choreo is off the hook where I go As your weight comes down your ability to do some of the moves that involve jumping improves greatly. When I got below 200 I noticed that my ability to do what everyone else was doing was spot on. One thing that has not improved for me is my ability to do turns - I get vertigo in the worst way. I've compared notes with some other formerly heavy people (one bariatric person, two not) in my class and they have the same problem - wonder if it has anything to do with losing a lot of weight? My physical therapist told me that for every 10 lbs you lose, center of gravity shifts which lends to that clumsy feeling. But it clears up.

Ditto to what @@JamieLogical said. No, I am not satisfied with the tiny portions I can eat. Yes, I achieve physical and nutritional satisfaction, but not the emotional pleasure I had chowing down on a 2000-3000 calorie meal. But that is part of WLS. I had to find other non-food ways of satisfying my emotional and mental "hunger". It's the hardest part of surgery, but entirely necessary in order to be successful long term. The physical part will fail without the mental part.