Pixie Dust

You have such a pretty face! Now lets see the rest of you!
Congratulations! Bet you feel soooooo good!!!

I've seen couples who've worked this out before but I think for me I could never be the same sexually again. It is a betrayal, but it's also something never forgotten even if you want to forgive. You are well on your way to being the best version of YOU that you've been in years. I'd let him watch you emerge from that cocoon you've been hiding in, then he can watch as you fly away. I wish you all the best and I know doing what everyone tells you to do is tough. We don't know how entwined your lives are and how your children/family will be affected. I still believe though that you need to do what's right for you.... "to thine own self be true"

Just my opinion but once you've lost trust, you've lost everything.
I wish you the best.

That might be why they were on clearance. This might sound odd, but can't you stretch the sleeves? I have big arms and have always had to do that You might want to try some compression type garment...I haven't really looked into it yet, but it's probably what I will have to do. Good luck!

Maybe it's time to shop a new store? Maybe you don't need to go to Catherine's anymore. Last week I found good clothes that fit at Ross and Macy's. Someone else suggested I try Kohls. Look at new styles - ones you wouldn't consider before. You'll be surprised what looks good on you now

Your upper arms won't spring back, but you should hopefully lose the volume in them and then a shirt will contain them.
My upper arms are glorious bat wings, I have lost a LOT of volume in them and I'm DEFINITELY going to get an arm lift at some point. But they fit easily into shirts and I never have to buy a larger size due to them... My issue is with my CALVES. My calves have hardly lost any weight and many pants will not fit them! Even some BOOT CUT styles will not go over my calves! YIKES! Right now it's fine because I still have a big lower stomach so I'm wearing size 20s... but if my stomach keeps going down and my calves don't, I'll NEVER be able to get them into a size 16... AND they say you lose a size or two when you have a tummy tuck.. but what will be the point if I can't fit anything over my calves??? Yeah, I feel your pain!

I have seen some here that use long sleeved compression garments. Not all tops have snug sleeves either. Try sleeves with a little bell, cap sleeves that are cut loose, or sleeveless under a stretchy sweater. Maybe that's why those tops were on the clearance rack!
And you look fabulous! Phooey on those crappy tops. I still remember being excited to try bras and swimsuits and then feeling really ugly after none fit right. Stupid stores!
Lynda

Today was the first time I was going to go shopping to buy myself one pair of pants & one top, in case something comes up that I need something decent to wear & everything now is too big on me. Grant it, I've only lost about 40 lbs but I've gone from a 3x to a 1x in tops & from a 3x to a 1x or 0-x in pants. I shop at Catherine's, I know a 0-x sounds weird.
Anyway, I would have been able to buy the 0 in pants but nothing was on sale, so I'm waiting but there were so many nice tops on clearance & another 60% off the lowest marked price so I was going to do some damage! I left empty handed because NOTHING smaller could fit my arms! Everything was just too tight due to all the fat & flab I have there. I remember my surgeon saying that my upper arms won't spring back after I've reached my goal so I'm just so depressed that I can't even buy clothes to feel good about my weight loss. My old clothes make me look so dumpy since they're so big on me. The only thing I can think of is to have my clothes altered but geez....we're not made of money & it's expensive to have alterations done.
Has anyone else dealt with this issue? What did you do about sleeves fitting once you got into smaller sizes? Maybe I'm the only one with all this fat/flab under my arms?? Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

chibabyy so happy, that you are happy
"mindset" is very important
the way you feel people percieve you - thats important to you/me
common/frequent discussion on this site, about do you tell or not that you had WLS
this is a very personal decision
and you made the right choice for yourself, thats what counts
how you/me/we feel about our "situation"
we all know saying Protein, veggies, Water, exercising - all valid, true comments
you don't owe anyone more information
you are doing great
I do agree that @ 50 lbs is a great weight loss in 3+ months
having WLS on your b'day
how cool is that!!!!
keep up the good work
kathy
congrats

Congratulations to you! I feel the same. I was first a little upset over such a slow weight loss but as I started really thinking about it, it's actually a blessing because I didn't tell anyone either (except my husband & BFF & one aunt) so this way no one is the wiser. A neighbor noticed & I said I had hernia surgery (shhhhh) & just haven't gotten my appetite back since. No one is the wiser...it's my secret & if I want to share it, I will but at this point I just don't. It's no one's business. I think I'm going to start sharing your story tho, just eating Protein first, then veggies, etc.. I guess as long as I'm headed in the right direction on the scale, I'm not going to complain.

Yep, Ketosis, an example of a good bad thing.

I had the same issue & my surgeon said it's caused from Ketosis.
http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/faq/f/whatisketosis.htm

Yeah - I have had that happen - I lose - lose - lose then POW - up 3 pounds. What are ya gonna do? it happens. Stick with the program.

I took: my phone and charger, lip balm, very basic toiletries (toothbrush, tooth paste, deodorant, comb), extra pair of undies, non-skid fuzzy socks, and my Kindle.
As it turns out, I didn't really need the Kindle -- I only used it while waiting on surgery to start. My surgeon was running late that morning so I had an extra 90 minutes on my hands. I also didn't need the non-skid socks because the hospital provided them.
I made sure that the clothes I wore to the hospital were going to be comfy to wear on the way home. For me that was a loose, empire waist dress and a soft cotton bra that fastens in front.
There was nothing I needed or wanted in the hospital that made me think, drat, I wish I had packed that! My advice is to pack as light as possible.

I felt the same about stalls and hair loss... You even know WHEN to EXPECT it... But for some reason it's still surprising and traumatic!

Ok, I'll admit it...I had a little judgment for the posters who panicked the first time they had a stall and came to the site posting a) as if they were the first person to stall and immediately looking for a "quick fix" to break the stall........that was until I had my first stall. (It was easy to be smug when the scale was dropping regularly).
Then, two weeks ago at 4 mos. post-op, I hopped on the scale for a few consecutive days and the number didn't go down (hmmpf). Then, for a few more days, it went up (whoa, what's the big idea, let's go back to just not going down). This went on for two weeks, and I admit that I experienced many of the same thoughts that others before me had said..."what if this is it?" "What can I do to jump start things?" "Was I too cavalier during the honeymoon phase and now I'm not going to progress as far as I want?", and on, and on, and on.
What I take comfort in is that as the thoughts were swirling in my head, I was able to (fairly) effectively counter the negative self-talk and self-doubt and not obsess constantly, and plow forward with my plan. And, true to the experiences of countless others before me, this morning, after two weeks, I have broken the stall and have a new, lower number on MFP...and, like many others, the duration of the stall and the "catalyst" for it to break are mysterious, and in some ways, seemingly paradoxical. So, I will tuck this experience away and try to reference it when this happens again, and hopefully improve on the mental side so I spend even less time with self-doubt...all part of the journey. :-)

As with almost everything in this journey everyone has different results. For the most part from what I have read the younger folks tend to do better at not having so much lose skin, i'm jealous of that since believe me I have a lot of lose skin, but i'm ecstatic that that skin is no longer filled with fat so I guess it's a worth while trade off. Good Luck.

You look great!

I definitely think that there is some truth in this (at least for me). I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago and I only realized after it was over just how wrong for me he was. I'm so much happier now, and this realization made me think back to my past relationships and where they went wrong. I realized that every man I've been romantically involved with had one or more major flaws (bad job, history of cheating, drinks too much, etc.). Even worse, I KNEW this going into every relationship. It dawned on me that I have always looked for something to be "wrong" with a man because I don't think anyone would want to date me the way I am. Since I've realized this, I've decided not to do any dating until I'm at goal and comfortable with myself. I'm hoping that I'll regain confidence through this experience, and I'm determined not to date anyone with glaring flaws every again!

I too was much slimmer when I met & married my husband & I did gain almost 100 lbs over the 19 years we've been married. I flipped for him the moment I laid eyes on him. We had our first date 5 days after we met & he proposed 2 weeks later! He still looks at me as if I haven't changed. I decided to do this for my children, especially my autistic son, so that I'd be around to see him grow up (if that's God's plan). I did this for me next so that I'd just feel better & hopefully have less pain from my arthritis, dragging all this weight around. I also did this for my husband so that he's not stuck with the big old fat wife anymore. He's so good to me, he deserves better so I'm going to give him "better!"

I too was much slimmer when I met & married my husband & I did gain almost 100 lbs over the 19 years we've been married. I flipped for him the moment I laid eyes on him. We had our first date 5 days after we met & he proposed 2 weeks later! He still looks at me as if I haven't changed. I decided to do this for my children, especially my autistic son, so that I'd be around to see him grow up (if that's God's plan). I did this for me next so that I'd just feel better & hopefully have less pain from my arthritis, dragging all this weight around. I also did this for my husband so that he's not stuck with the big old fat wife anymore. He's so good to me, he deserves better so I'm going to give him "better!"

Gamergirl you are my hero, I love your posts. I met my hubby when I was relatively thinner and much more athletic, but he has never ever made me feel bad about my weight. I asked him point blank once if it bothered him that I had gained so much weight and he said that when he looks at me he sees the girl that he loves and married not any adjustment in size.(He made me cry!!) So nope I didn't settle, I got the guy I wanted!

When I met my husband I was wearing a size 8 and had blonde hair. Over the last 25 years I have gained 100 pounds. My husband has never mentioned my weight or my hair. I am sure he has noticed my added fluffiness but never ever would hurt my feelings.
This weight loss surgery is all about me and how I feel about myself. My husband has supported me every step of the way. He even said that if the insurance does not cover this, our savings will. I feel blessed that my husband has been there for me through thin and thick!!!
Hopefully, I will get me back again and be able to live a longer healthier life with this great partner.

This will sound weird but I fell in love with my husband before I met him in person. Tons of phone calls, lots of emails, and we were both goners. I was terrified that the in-person chemistry wouldn't work out but of course it did.
I never felt like I was settling for less. I felt lucky to have found such an amazing man and to have my love and admiration reciprocated. I dated a lot before I got married and never thought that I was "less than" because of my weight.
I've loved him at much higher weights and now, he's thinner than I've ever seen him before and I still just adore him. His weight is a non-issue for me. He has seen me 25 lbs lighter, and 25 lbs heavier than I am now, and has never made me feel less loved.
I think WLS is like every other challenge a couple faces together. Challenges seem to strengthen good relationship and bring people closer, and weaken shaky ones and tear them apart. I've been in both types of relationships and know how that goes.
If it wasn't WLS for some of those couples, it might have been something else that either brought them closer or broke them up.

Well, depends on how you eat. Yes eating less is cheaper than eating more, but eating healthy is expensive in this world. Organic this, gluten free that and non chemical laden massaged by virgins meat is expensive.
Then there is the small fortune you're going to spend on your new skinny clothes. And God forbid you plunk down, $12000 on plastic surgery like I'm doing.... It goes on and on.