Not Applicable

Hello!
I'm 5ft. 7 &1/2, had surgery Jan.14, 2013, weighed 200, 33 BMI. (A "light weight" to some)...
However, started a pre-op diet last May 2012, weighing in at 255 with a BMI of 40.
Currently, I'm at 161, 24 BMI (Super YAY!! In the "NORMAL" range)!!! And, I am only 6 lbs. away from my surgeon's suggested weight for me, (16 away from my personal goal of 145).
That means I have lost 41lbs. since surgery. Does that make me sad or feel like a failure to be what others might term as a "slow loser," .... Heck no! I'm off my BP meds, able to jog & cardio hip-hop w/out feeling like I'm about to die, get back into old shoes that were too small for my expansive feet.... Just so many things. Mostly, the knowledge that if I continue making healthy choices I will be able to keep the weight off. That one thing is sincerely a major blessing and relief for me.

My heart breaks for you. I found the title of this thread disturbing, too.

Laura, I am so sorry that on top of dealing with your own addiction, you have your mum burdening you with hers too.
Tightly wound? No, I see someone who's doing the best she can to fight her demons and keep all the plates spinning, while still being prepared to share honestly what she's learned. Will that always make you popular? Nope. Does that matter? Nope. You are still an inspiration to many of us.
I have an out of control mum, who has damaged me to the extent that I cut her out of my life. Harsh to some folk but for me, it came down to survival - mine or hers. I chose me. Time for you to choose you, step away from her for a while because she's not good for you if she stresses you to the point of feeling like you could binge. You can only be responsible for you.
Hang in there, we are all in this together....

Don't worry Cheri, I have always enjoyed your posts over the years and I understand why you haven't been as active lately as I see your bundle of joy in your avatar.
But I think you diminish the power addiction has over some people. It isn't as simple as making a choice. It is difficult to explain to someone who may not truly know addiction (speaking to the general audience, not just you, Cheri). It is like trying to explain green to a blind person.
If you were to look back to when I first went into rehab ... look back at all the events that led to it, you would wonder how any sane person could do these things to themselves. But that is the key word there ... sane. At first, when I abused alcohol, it was fun. Then it became a job ... then it became my tormentor. I no longer drank for enjoyment, I no longer drank to escape or blackout. I had completely lost the power of choice. I remember many times driving home from work (45 minutes) saying to myself that I was not going to stop at the bar, but then remembering this promise at midnight ... at the bar ... wondering how I even got there.
Addiction is a cunning, powerful baffling foe for some. Again, we all know our own experiences and we see through those glasses. Addiction may have more facets than you realize.

WARNING: food PICTURE

Hugs, Chicky. I was VERY lucky to have the type of tumor I had. It was a BIG one, but it was a "good" one. They found it, opened my head, took it out, put my head back together, and now we look for a new one once a year. It's unlikely to come back since it hasn't by now, and next year I go to every other year MRIs.
I will hold your hand telepathically next time you have yours.

Speaking of apples, we are going picking tomorrow!! I will be sure to steer clear of any vocal apples, bad or not.

I've only been on this board for a month or less. And I don't like anyone.

It soothes me to realize that there are others out there just as depraved as I.

Probably sky diving.

I don't know. Probably go for a long hike and have a good cry.
I've been big my whole life, I have no idea what to expect when I am not an overweight person.

I can relate to this. Sometimes I feel like I am afraid of succeeding. I think I fear the perceived expectations people will have of me when I lose weight. Like everyone is watching me and judging me. I just want to crawl back into my safe zone.
About 8 years ago I went on a diet and exercise plan and lost 90 pounds. I looked fabulous. I had so much trouble with haters. I even got talked to by my manager about "toning" it down. She told me that I should want people in my meetings to remember what I have to say not what I look like. WTF?
This time around I am not going to let anything discourage me. Haters can go pound sand.
You can do this!

I ate candy last night and I am paying for it in gnawing hunger feelings this morning. Eh...Halloween is once a year and it's back to business today!

I wear my socks to the gym twice before washing them.
And they stink.

Hello!
I'm 5ft. 7 &1/2, had surgery Jan.14, 2013, weighed 200, 33 BMI. (A "light weight" to some)...
However, started a pre-op diet last May 2012, weighing in at 255 with a BMI of 40.
Currently, I'm at 161, 24 BMI (Super YAY!! In the "NORMAL" range)!!! And, I am only 6 lbs. away from my surgeon's suggested weight for me, (16 away from my personal goal of 145).
That means I have lost 41lbs. since surgery. Does that make me sad or feel like a failure to be what others might term as a "slow loser," .... Heck no! I'm off my BP meds, able to jog & cardio hip-hop w/out feeling like I'm about to die, get back into old shoes that were too small for my expansive feet.... Just so many things. Mostly, the knowledge that if I continue making healthy choices I will be able to keep the weight off. That one thing is sincerely a major blessing and relief for me.

I have been in you shoes.
My highest starting weight was 255. I am 5feet 7, so that put me around a 40BMI. On the 9 month pre-op plan I lost 55lbs. My family REALLY tried to discourage me from surgery saying that my weight loss was evidence I could do it myself.
The thing is, I have lost weight before, many, many, many times. I have said b4 that I was a great dieter, sucky maintainer, and super regainer (plus more). I knew I had to do something different this time, or I would just end up repeating my old patterns. (Remember that saying about Insanity: doing the same thing over & over and expecting a different outcome).
Upon much reflection / prayer/ counseling, I decided to think of the pre-op weight loss as part of my recovery & beginning of a new life. I had surgery at 198, at a 33 BMI. Many (family included) would call me a crazy person for having WLS at that BMI. But, I know myself and know my history. I have since come to terms with the fact that WLS was simply a last chance scenario for me.
My point is only you know you. I'm certain in time you will make the best choice for you.

I am so sorry that that is your reality. I have some friends who have a similar dynamic with a parent, and it is one of those things that those that haven't experienced it have a hard time grasping what that must be like. I agree with previous poster that a good therapist can help tremendously...both in understanding all of the ways that this may have influenced how you view yourself as well as how it can carry over into the relationships you have with others...Awareness and understanding are just two of the powerful tools for you to have if you choose to continue a relationship with her...as one of my friends says (typically in response to someone asking why she keeps her mother in her life at all) "is she the mother I wanted...no...is she the only mother I have...yes"
Best of luck to you...hope your new stomach is just the beginning of your metamorphosis

Why give her an answer at all? This person is toxic, and it genuinely doesn't matter what you say to her, it is fuel for her poison. If you don't see her till there is a dramatic change, and she flips out, eaten up with pathetic jealous rage, demanding to know what you have done, flat out ask her, "why? why does it matter to you? which answer will make you behave pleasantly toward me? Will reduce your toxic behavior?" Anything else is just participating in the sickness.

Yes, I have a mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It's been one of the most devastating things in my life to have been parented by this woman. It's why since the age of 9 I started binge eating as a way to fill up the emotional void inside of me left my the absence of real love from my mother. She actually loves it when I'm fat like her and absolutely hates it when I loose weight. She gets jealous of my WL success which makes her critical and judgmental of me and my efforts.
I'm not telling her about my surgery. She would have a field day with all of the negative drama and hurtful things she could stir up. I hardly talk to her anymore anyway. When I see her I'm sure it will be months after surgery and therefore a big transformation. I'll just say I've been eating manly raw foods (which I've lost a ton of weight on before) and have increased my exercise. She may or may not believe me....she is sure to judge me, but after nearly a decade of therapy of learning how to deal with this woman, I am finally able to say "I don't care" to whatever she throws at me.
Good Luck! It's not easy havering a mother like that.

Just my opinion, but I think you ARE setting a great example for your children. You will be eating differently and cooking differently for your family, you will be exercising, drinking Water - all of these things are good examples for your children. They are seeing you address a situation with your weight, your health and gaining control.
I don't know who this person is in your life, but you don't owe an explanation to anyone (IMHO) you're an adult, I would guess that you made this decision with great thought.
Be proud girl, you doing something good for yourself.

The older I get the less tolerant of stupid and invasive questions of people. To the question posed to you, I would have answered with this question: Why on earth would you ask me a question like that? To which the most likely they would stammer well, I'm just curious, that's all. My reply would be, yes, I can see that. Then walk away.
I just have no time and patience for people trying to undermine and judge me.

I sent my husband home. He gets anxious in hospitals and his being anxious was making me anxious, so once I was out of recovery, I told him to leave. It was good because I wasn't feeling up for much, just wanted to sleep, well walk and then sleep, then repeat.
Once I got home I was fine taking care of myself. But I was very lucky to have an unremarkable recovery. I think everyone is different.

I saw cats fighting

They made noise and tore out fur

I thought... forum girls