Hey Everybody! I'm looking for a little advice from the experts. I am waffling something fierce here - and not the good kind with syrup and butter

I started my 6 month medical weight loss jaunt in January. On March 8 when I saw the Doctor they put me on a diet and suggested exercise. I've been able to follow an 1,100 calorie diet pretty well and have been getting exercise more regularly, which for me is one to two times a week. Since March 8 I have lost 18 pounds. I am waffling because many family, friends and even the dietician have said, 'if you keep it up, you won't need the surgery.' And for a little while, I even thought that maybe I would make that my goal; to lose enough weight that I couldn't get approved for the surgery because my BMI would be too low. Right now my BMI is 39.1 and my insurance requires it to be above 35 (because I have co-morbidities). It is fairly likely (but not a sure thing) that I could lose enough to make 35 BMI before the paperwork is sent in for insurance approval. I need to lose 100 pounds total - doctor would like to see 120 but unless I'm planning on doing the heroin chic look, it's not happening.

Where my waffling comes in is that I'm not sure if I want to. I'm deeply concerned that I will get to the 35 BMI weight and then just quit losing or fall of the wagon and start gaining again. It's like my brain and heart say that I really need to get this surgery. I don't know if I'm trying to please other people or what's going on. I actually have no doubts about the surgery itself, I have all the confidence in the world in my healthcare team.

Can anyone help me sort this out? I'm looking for any ideas and input ... either good or bad. Or, has anyone else had these same feelings?

My advice - If you are having doubts, don't do wls right now. Keep doing it on your own- sounds like you are on your way to success! You can do it on your own! If you fall down eight times, get up nine!

WLS is a total change, inside & out. I had zero doubts about it, had the surgery (everything has gone well for me-knock on wood), but I have regretted my decision every day since....everybody is different though. Do what is best for you. Wish you all the best. Good luck!

Yes everyone is different I have no regrets . I have diet an exercise my whole adult life and with little results and the sleeve has been the best thing for me .. It is a great tool

This is tough because, for me, I've lost a lot of weight several times on my own only to gain it all back! With my pattern, I'd still have the surgery. If you have been obese for a long time, statistics say I believe only 10% of people will lose weight and keep it off. Crazy right? Not saying you won't be successful, but something to think about. With every weight gain came depression and absolute loss of control.

Right now, I'm smaller than I've ever been as an adult! I had my surgery 5 1/2 months ago. I'm happier than I've ever been and have no fear of gaining the weight back! Good luck with whatever you choose and you are doing an amazing job!

I wish I would have done the WLS when I was at your BMI instead of ending up getting it at a much higher BMI. But, you have to do what is right for you. I would see how it goes the next couple of months. The WLS is a great tool, not just for loss, but for maintenance. You seem like you have the dedication and the cooperation from your body (rate of weight loss) to be really successful with VSG.

Thank you everyone for the input. I really greatly appreciate it.

Part of my waffling is that I've gained and lost and gained and lost and gained and lost repeatedly. With the same results as @Nicolanz - depression and loss of control. I'm afraid if I don't get VSG at starting weight 246 that I'll end up having to get it with starting weight of 346. I had made up my mind that I was going to have the surgery and then everyone kept saying, "you are doing well, maybe you won't have to have the surgery." I've convinced myself a hundred times over that this is the best thing for me, just need to convince my family and friends I guess.

Thanks again everyone. :wub: I really needed to hear a couple sides of this!

@Charming Tortoise... Correction: you do not need to convince your friends and family. It's your decision and while support is certainly a nice thing, it's not needed for the WLS. I'm not trying to downplay support systems, but at the end of the day you determine what you put in your mouth. When I lost 10 lbs on the pre-surgery diet, The Hubs said the same thing to me.. "Keep this up and you won't need the surgery." But as he never really understood loss of control and emotional eating, I always remembered 'consider the messenger' in the back of my head. Even though The Hubs saw me do the walk of shame night after night and head to the pantry to get something to munch on when I knew I shouldn't, he doesn't experience nor understand the emotional eating... I have a therapist for that! In short, I heard the same thing from my family and still had WLS on 20 Mar, I'm down 31 lbs and completely at peace with my decision.

Also, right now the people you love are probably just concerned about the surgery itself. I went through this with my husband. After all was said and done and he saw that I survived, he was totally supportive. My parents on the other hand were always supportive and I only talked to them about my surgery pre op. It was hard not having my husband's approval, but I knew this was my only option for being successful. Now that I'm almost 6 months out, I'm at complete peace with my decision and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I wish I would have done it at 246 as well.....that's around the weight I'd always get to before I blew up to 280-290. I started at 296 and am 226 today!

I was 255 when I had surgery. I am 5'7, so my BMI was right around yours. Almost everyone told me that I was too small to need weight loss surgery. They said I didn't need to, that I wasn't fat, and I could do it on my own. They loved me like I was and why would I want surgery?

I knew I was obese, but those around me didn't see it.

It wasn't until after I started losing weight and family members went back and saw pictures of what I used to look like that they realized how big I was before. But most don't remember how big I was unless I remind them, and I do.

I saved my fat clothes from my "before" picture and put them on to compare how far I've come. I'm going to add that picture here. I am now 172, which is a loss of 83 pounds.

Hi my bmi was 39.5 or so when I went to the pre po DR they put we on a scale called Body Composition Analyzer an my fat% was 43.2. Don't stop losing call an talk to your DR.

I told my mom about my 50lb milestone yesterday and she said, "See, you don't even need surgery. You can do it on your own."

I told her, "Having surgery is still doing it on my own." And then all day I'm questioning myself if I really believe that.

Part of the reason that I don't want people to know I'm having surgery is because I don't want people thinking I didn't work for it. I know, I know, I shouldn't be bothered by what other people think... easier said than done.

I have been in you shoes.

My highest starting weight was 255. I am 5feet 7, so that put me around a 40BMI. On the 9 month pre-op plan I lost 55lbs. My family REALLY tried to discourage me from surgery saying that my weight loss was evidence I could do it myself.

The thing is, I have lost weight before, many, many, many times. I have said b4 that I was a great dieter, sucky maintainer, and super regainer (plus more). I knew I had to do something different this time, or I would just end up repeating my old patterns. (Remember that saying about Insanity: doing the same thing over & over and expecting a different outcome).

Upon much reflection / prayer/ counseling, I decided to think of the pre-op weight loss as part of my recovery & beginning of a new life. I had surgery at 198, at a 33 BMI. Many (family included) would call me a crazy person for having WLS at that BMI. But, I know myself and know my history. I have since come to terms with the fact that WLS was simply a last chance scenario for me.

My point is only you know you. I'm certain in time you will make the best choice for you.

I was 255 when I had surgery. I am 5'7' date=' so my BMI was right around yours. Almost everyone told me that I was too small to need weight loss surgery. They said I didn't need to, that I wasn't fat, and I could do it on my own. They loved me like I was and why would I want surgery?

I knew I was obese, but those around me didn't see it.

It wasn't until after I started losing weight and family members went back and saw pictures of what I used to look like that they realized how big I was before. But most don't remember how big I was unless I remind them, and I do.

I saved my fat clothes from my "before" picture and put them on to compare how far I've come. I'm going to add that picture here. I am now 172, which is a loss of 83 pounds.

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Funny...my brother told me yesterday that he never really saw me heavy...just me. Until he sees me now versus my photos before surgery. He celebrated my decision and my victories...but doesn't want me to lose too much..LOL. The thing we know is our nature to eat secretly when life happens that hit those triggers. I was at peace with the surgery because I needed a LIFE change and I found it with WLG. You know you...intimately:-).

I keep asking myself if I REALLY need the surgery, too. My stats are similar as I am 5'3 and about 5 pounds more than you now. I am also 41 and have NO co-morbidities. Like everyone here, I have tried everything. I lost 88 pounds on WWs in 7 months one go around but was highly discouraged because I couldn't become a lifetime member as they felt I needed to lose 30 more. I was already a size 8/10 and that would have put me in a 2/4 and for my frame, I would have looked ridiculous.

As I have on all my diets, I gained all my weight back plus a couple dozen of it's friends.

I started my pre-op diet 11 days ago and have lost 13.4 pounds so I know what to do. I am physically active. I have no back pain. I have no joint pain. I have no reflux or high ANYTHING other than my hair. I am on no meds. I know I can lose it on my own, but I also know that I can gain it all back without a backwards glance.

I need to do this before I get older and before my physical health starts to suffer. I know how bad it is for my heart to yo-yo diet and that's what I've been doing for the last 20 years. I want to be a healthy role model for my teenage girls. I want to continue being physically active and keep up with my kids. I don't want to be the "fat mom" anymore, nor do I want to lose weight with the thought in the back of my mind that everyone's thinking "here she goes again, wonder how long it will last THIS time".

I am DONE doing it the non-surgical way because it is not long term for me. I am so excited about the 16th of May, I can hardly stand it. WOOOOOOOOT!

My BMI was 39.9 and I was on the fence but it. The end I decided I was done with the yoyo bc I was constantly losing and then gaining it all back + some . I am 5'2.5 and was 234 at my highest right before my husband deployed in 2011 I went on a diet while he was gone and lost 22 pounds while he was gone for 6 months but after 3 months of him being back I put 14 lbs back on and would have continued going up if I hadn't had the surgery in Nov of 2012. I had some issues but none were terrible yet but I felt it was only a matter of time. I was 32 with high blood pressure and sleep apnea and I was pre diabetic. I also have hypothyroidism so I was already at a disadvantage. I really just felt that if I didnt get into a Bariatric Program at 226 I would end up doing it at 286 later on. I am happy I made that decision my BMI is 29.3 now and I hope to be under 25 when all is said and done:)

*editted to correct my BMI

I think you need to take a step back forget what others are saying and listen to yourself because no one but you can make this happen. When I chose to have wls I was 1000% certain for my choice bc I knew I needed the help. If you feel you can do it on your own and maintain then more power to you if not then get the tool to help you maintain. There is no shame in needed help, with whatever you choose your family should be supportive if not then they will have to learnto be. Its your health ridding on your successes and failures not theirs. Best of luck do what feels right!