Qvrfullmidwife

Yeah, I didnt catch that she meant dating, I thought she meant trying on guys like some I know try on shoes. BJean, no, you didnt cause anything, we were already discussing it before your comment and yes, I meant my question seriously, I was not trying to be offensive, I was just honestly musing what difference being married or not made in that bad situation. And I am sorry, I cannot fathom and house pet being more anarchist than some of my goats (or children)

Ah...right. Is there a 'choking on my coffee and spewing it on the computer screen" emoticon?

Does anyone here have a band that works in the food industry? We own a goat dairy and have started making and selling cheese and I started wondering how many people who are banded also work with food and how their perspective has changed since banding?

My insurance policy states that they will not cover complications of an excluded or not covered proceedure. This has been the big concern for me as a self-pay, if they can refuse to pay for something years down the road simply by saying that it was a result of an excluded preceedure.

Sorry, moved my comments to a more appropriate place

lands end, hands down

" As for those of you who have no libido because of Lexapro or Prozac" or effexor or paxil or.... "My wedding night was a nightmare as were many, many nights after that. We were married for 4 years and I never experienced anything but pain and frustration when we had sex." So let me ask a question. If you had not been married when your first nightmarish experience (and those to follow for I assume that you wouldnt have immediately broken off the entire relationship) what would have been different in your estimation? How would you view the situation differently?

"I guess it helped me realize divorce isn't the quick answer, BUT I do think sometimes it's the right choice." I agree wholeheartedly. Surprised? LOL! " Again, I am referring to dating different people on a longer term basis (not one or three dates) before settling on one person." AH. You see that is not the connotation that I got from the term "test drive". What I picked up from the phrase (I guess in context of the thread in general) was the idea of the test drives being purely sexual, not relational. My mistake. I still believe that there are a lot of people who do not even know that it is possible for people to marry and stay married for life, that one can make that commitment and stick it through 'for better or for worse' simply because they have not seen it, either in their own families or in their social circles. Regarding the fact that as many 'evangelical Christians' divorce as the general society...I understand that it is not just divorce but premarital sex, pregnancy and abortion as well.

"I have told him that he has to go to the doctor, or do something." Absolutely. I had had many midwifery clients express similar concerns and often there is a medical cause. It can be medications, depression, diabetes or issues. Rule out physical first then go to counseling. BUt there is usually help.

"As the guy was kissing her belly she freaked out, grabbed him by his hair, and shrieked "what is this, this...HOLLYWOOD SEX!?!" " ROFLOL!

"You have NO IDEA about life yet, you and your partner have so much growing and maturing to do. True the ideal way would be to do that together, to overcome adversity together, to grow together, but nowadays that is more rare than finding a person without a cell phone." It is rare because no one expects it or even is aware that it is a possibility. Yes, I had a few partners prior as did my dh even though we were quite young. We both regret it. We have seen the happiest relationships in those who have not 'test drove' both in those who are generations older than us as well as in our own generation and now in the generation below. I believe that studies bear this out. One doesnt have to look hard to see studies indicating that serial relationships prior to marriage do not always make for lasting monogamy and that those who live together before marriage do not have higher success rates in marriage. (married at 19, this month makes 22 years and still going strong)

Nume :cry:cry:cry I understand...the main point I wanted to express was regarding "testdrives". I just dont see what positive difference they would really make for anyone. I believe that your situation is somewhat different than the run of the mill marital difficulties that I was discussing of two imperfect people trying to create a new "one" in marriage even when they marry young, or were notthat experiences or have issues flung their way. I was blessed to read of the approach that you and your dh are taking now. Please keep in mind that the fact that you may feel now that you should not have gotten married means that your marriage is anyless a real marriage. You committed, you have made an (imperfect) life together as well as lives together. These things have eternal value. (But who am I to lecture...you have more years of marriage under your belt than I do for sure from what I recall.) In my experience we had a dh whose attempts to self medicate for severe depression included excessive intimacy followed by depression meds totally removing ability or desire leaving a wife who who was already increasingly insecure in bed due to weight wondering what was wrong, were those last 10 lbs to blame> But in our case we always manage to talk it out and come to a place of joy again. I agree that sex is a potent glue...but it isnt the only glue. Praying for you and your situation as I have been since I first read of your situation, I just now got up the nerve to post.

Not been banded yet and do not know but I would assume that even if it isnt standard proceedure you can request to be out before insertion.

Floradix liquid calcium (their iron is great, too)

So, does anyone know...if you are selfpay due to wls exclusion, is there any chance that the ins co will still cover ps? they all say that they will not cover expenses relating to complications due to excluded proceedures...

I answered what I will pay once I actually am banded.

I have been reading this thread with interest and not a few chuckles...I do have to say that I disagree with the concept of 'test driving'. I believe that one enters into marriage with commitment for life. There IS no perfect spouse, none of us can change another person into the perfect spouse. What we can do, however, is try to BE that perfect spouse. We can make sure that we are bringing our best to a relationship. Had I either had the idea that I deserved perfection or had multiple test drives under my belt to compare a less than perfect spouse to that I would have been set up to be very discontent when life did not go the way that I felt that it should have. Instead we enter into marriage with the understanding that we are two messed up people doing our best to become better and to continue to grow. One of the best things about not having myriad partners prior to marriage (I had a very few) is that we have the ability to explore and experiment without either comparing how my dh is measuring up or wondering how I am measuring up. Lastly, the idea of trying out people beforehand would, I think, tend to cause you to see others as commodities, something that exists merely for your satisfaction. I am grieved for those in this thread who are in truly lonely marriages. But I do not see how having tried out many others before marriage would have made the situation better, I think it might have made it worse because you might be inclined to add insult to injury by thinking "now Joe, HE knew how to make me feel cherished" and of what value is that?! After 22 years of marriage we have definitely had our deserts and hurts. What helps is throwing the old out the window and trying something new. Often it takes one partner pushing for the something new while the other doesnt give a flip and is annoyed. I guess we are just fortunate that we were never both bored with intimacy at the same time. Praying for those on here that they are able to rediscover the incredible gift of intimacy to the person that they are committed to in whatever way works best for them. Wax or no wax. (still mulling over that one...ouchihuahua!)

alcohol is fairly high in calories. I am sorry...

I have not been banded yet but intend to not tell many. I am not even sure I will tell my children tho I am not sure how I could pull that one off!

Have you taken your temp? That can be a sign of a spiking temp. This soon post surgery I would call to make sure that you are not developing an infection.

Weeeellll...my first thought is if you are listening to God why go to a psychic? (My personal belief is that if a psychic really knew what the future holds they would be playing the stockmarket, not nickle and diming it from the side of the road ) I agree that you should easily know within 18 months, probably less and the good thing is that if you DO end up hating it it CAN be removed.

Just wondering...

My surgeon said that they prefer that you wait a year but if you dont...and then he shrugged "well, we just unfill you til you are done breastfeeding".

I was wondering if anyone found themselves panicking when a food gets stuck or they feel like they cant swallow. I havent been banded, but I started trying to imagine last night what that might feel like and started me wondering... Even if I did start to freak out over having something 'stuck' I am pretty sure I could talk myself down, after all, I have done it every birth lol, but I was wondering if this is a common or even nonexistent problem...

The surgeon that I saw said that it is very common for people who have ben banded to find themselves in a place of addiction to something other than food and to be aware of and on your guard against this.