BethinPA

Toradol is a great drug that is often used in the hospital. As long as it isn't used for long (no more than 3 days), you should be fine. I'm a Toradol fan - works very well for pain for me.

VSG is a marathon, not a sprint.
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First and foremost, I strongly believe in the idea that we are what we think we are, so the negative self talk has GOT to go. You are a successful WLS patient who has fallen off the wagon a bit.
A failure is someone who quits, refusing to try again. You regained only 20 pounds and you are back. You could have waited until you had regained 40, 60, 100, or 100+ or you could have thrown in the towel all together.
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.
Go back to your surgeon and see what he/she recommends. Go back to your pre-op diet for a week or two. Go back to liquids for a week or two. Start weighing/measuring/tracking your food and move your ass a little more than normal. You can totally do this.
You are not a failure until you stop trying. You don't sound like a failure to me at all.

I've only been here for about 6 months, and I'm only 3 months post-op, but you're really on the wrong track here. When September is 6 months in your rearview mirror and you've actively participated, do me a favor and revisit this topic. I can promise you your attitude will change. There is a small handful of dedicated, seasoned and well-informed veterans on this site who tirelessly answer the SAME 20 QUESTIONS over and over and over and over and over again. They VOLUNTEER to do this. Willingly give up their own time to try to help the rest of us. So when one of them starts a thread about what she will/won't answer questions about, it's long overdue and they don't need a 2 or 3 week member, still pre-op, telling them what they should or shouldn't do. I was not a huge fan of some of the vets when I first arrived, but that's completely changed as I observe the rank stupidity they're willing to deal with day after day, solely to ensure that anyone reading doesn't take any of the rank stupidity to heart. Try dealing with the vets as carefully as you'd deal with the newbs...they deserve that and more, from all of us.

I've only had one health care "professional" be a jerk - my PCP's nurse, and she is always kind of a jerk. She thought it appropriate when she saw me AFTER the surgery to tell me how every person she has every known who had this surgery gained all their weight back. Thanks.
More frustrating to me, personally, was all the doctors that continually told me I needed to lose weight. Literally any doctor I ever went to would have a conversation with me about my weight, but they never really proposed anything that would help. They would just tell me I "really needed to do something about it". Yeah, no kidding.
I was one of my orthopedic doctors than finally recommended bariatric surgery, and did it in a very honest, but direct way. He sympathized with me saying he understood that it was incredibly difficult, and that most people really are not able to it on their own in the long run. He even mentioned that telling me I need to lose weight was of really no value as I was obviously an intelligent man and knew this. He went on to inform me that if I continued as I was, I would become disabled. And not many years down the road, but soon. He said I would most likely be in a wheelchair in less than 10 years, and that I would struggle with the surgeries I needed and the recovery. Then he suggested I consider bariatric surgery - again noting it was a big decision, but that perhaps I start by going and talking with a surgeon to learn more.
Now THAT is a helpful approach - at least for me. Showing care and compassion goes a long way in having your message heard. Being educated on obesity helps as well.

I heard all that 5 years ago and it's still a hot topic. I just think if people want to do that to their body then let them. In 6 months they will have lost 5lbs and their drs will be ticked off and they will be in tears wondering why. I stayed on my diet program 100% until I was 1 year out and was getting too thin. BUT (big but here) I slowly started eating a bite of bread here, some ice cream there and about 2 years ago I started gaining again so here I am re-affirming my intentions to get that 25 lbs off before it brings 10 more friends and so on. I've gone up a size and that was all it took for me to realize I needed to get back on plan. If you don't start out on plan you will never get the weight off to even know how great you can look..

I'm 4 years post op. I had regained 35 lbs. Back in April I decided to get it off and I have. I'm at the lowest weight I've been at since my surgery. I'm going to try to lose about 10 more lbs. otherwise I'm happy where I am now.
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Well, I PM'ed Alex just two short days ago asking him to consider a regain forum, and well, here we are!
He asked me to start the first thread.
So here goes...
I am 27 months post op and have gained 20 lbs from my lowest. I have had a massive personal loss (stress eating) and took a night position that I LOVE (but snack all night) so 20 lbs and here I am.
Plan:
1. Came back to bariatric pal and owned my gain. admitted to it and moved forward.
2. Seeing a new doc and nut next week. Changed insurance due to job change and have an incredible new clinic/doc/nut and getting established with them wednesday.
3. Started 5 day Pouch Test and trying to re-learn restriction.
4. Found the coordinator of the support group associated with my new doc. called the coordinator. announced myself. now they are expecting me, so I have to go and face it.
5. ordered Slim in 6 program from Beachbody since i have not exercised like I should in a LONG time so that's a pretty mellow start.
6. bought all sorts of proteins-new flavor shakes, Soups, Quest Cookies and Cream bars etc because variety will keep me going.
So...there it is. My truth. I have gained. Yes, I have regained. But through the loss of my dad, my grief, a new career path I am in love with, and learning how to balance a night job with my eating I have also regained perspective.
I regained some weight. Now I regain control. Then I regain my life.

Want to eat tacos 1 week post surgery?
Want to drink copious amount of alcohol a week or two after surgery or smoke joints a day before surgery?
In fact you can do anything you want to, because tens of thousands bariatric surgeons, nutritionists and nurses must all be wrong!
Just post something you know you shouldn't be doing, related to WLS, and wait until someone with no medical experience tells you it is ok to do so and ignore the other 99% of the posts that tell you that you shouldn't do that.
If everyone else is offering sound medical advice that was expressed from their WLS medical staff or information they obtained from reputable sources like the ASMBS, JAMA, etc., just remember you can prove Darwin was correct and that:

Rant over. (Microphone dropped).

Great topic, @@katesuccess ....
Yesterday I saw my therapist. And next month (August 2016) is my second surgiversary.
BTW, I started seeing my therapist just over two years ago when I told him I was committing to see him for three years: (1) the year of losing weight, (2) the year of maintaining weight, and (3) the year of boring real life. I found a therapist at the urging of my primary care physician who, a year before I had WLS, told me he'd support me in having WLS, but that he thought I really, really, really needed to spend time in therapy to understand better why I was so piss-poor at caring for myself. (He'd seen me lose/gain/lose/gain/lose/gain ... you get the idea ... for many years.)
Anyway, as we've all seen / heard from those who are further out than you and I are Year Three can be a real bugaboo! @@Julie norton -- you're such a long-time vet (you're 8 years post-op) that you've seen and heard it all, I bet. Anyway, I expect that Year Three won't be like Year Two, during which I learned to maintain pretty easily for me. I've been at 135 pounds (from 133 - 137) for the last 6 months -- but mostly at 135.
So back to my therapist, I reminded him of where we are -- entering The Year of Boring Real Life. Actually, it's not all that boring. Lots of changes here: Since WLS, hubby has had cancer and been through two rounds of chemo, a round of radiation and is now going through more radiation. I've retired. We've moved twice. My mother died. Hubby's dad died. We lost an adult child to a stroke. We lost two pets to disease. Sounds terrible, doesn't it?
Actually, it's not been as terrible as you'd think. We've learned so much about acceptance, adapting, trusting, resilience, and being present in this moment and not ruminating. Believe me, we aren't "there" yet, but I truly believe we're both in a better place spiritually and psychologically than we were five years ago. Life sometimes does that to you.
I don't think this post was even responsive to either of your posts. In any event, thanks for posting and listening.
Anybody want to say anything else?
P.S. Just saw your post too, @@Djmohr . Thanks for the straight scoop about brachioplasty.

I really wanted to give up on online dating since mostly hicks live in this town. I always get guys that want to take me fishing and hunting.
I rejoined Match and changed my pictures and profile. A guy popped up whom I had not seen before. Match has a way to live chat so we started messaging back and forth. He's apparently been lurking but finally joined on their 7 day free trial. He said he's seen my pictures before and wanted to write before but really wanted to hold it under 60. I am glad he messaged me because after chatting back and forth off and on all day Sunday, he finally suggested dinner. We really hit it off and I was amazed at how sweet and considerate he is. We talked at the table forever and then he asked if we could go to the beach and go hiking on Monday. Well that date lasted all day long and we were both kind of giddy about each other.
I am nervous cause he's only 55 and I am 63. I would have never messaged him. This morning he called and said he was deleting his match profile and hoped I would too. I did hide it instead of deleting it, cause I am not as optimistic as he is. I'd like to be, but I've been doing this awhile and something always turns out to be different than I thought.
I guess I am hopeful though! I know I loved being with him all day yesterday all day and into the evening!

@@Babbs "You're sweet, but the boobs and tummy are kind of a mess.
Nothing a good bra and Spanx can't fix for now ;)"
You ladies are just so hard on yourselves. I bet hubby never says that. I can almost guarantee he means it very much. As much crud that guys get for being shallow (and the guys on this site give other guys grief when we hear of shallow men), when we love our woman, we really do. All of her. And we don't notice the "imperfections" that you ladies seem to find on yourselves.

What Kindle and Ann said! I agree completely that as a pre-op, you are worried about everything because this is truly a new way of life for you. Relax...follow your doctor's instructions to the letter, and enjoy and reap the benefits of your surgery.
As a veteran of WLS, I can't say enough how much better the quality of my life is now and how that takes precedence over anything I put in my mouth. Now it's true...like Kindle, I went into therapy to work on my food issues...the band was not enough to deal with the root of my issues as overeating is/was a symptom. I can't stress enough how the emotional part of the journey is just as important as the physical.
Every time I see my reflection in the mirror, or take a step without pain, or squat down to play with my grandson, or make love, or plan a vacation, or buckle the seatbelt on a plane, I say a prayer of thanks for the gift of this wonderful tool I have that lets me lead the kind of life I was desperate for when I was obese and immobile.
Congrats on your upcoming surgery. Don't sweat it...don't worry about every little thing, and enjoy the ride!

@@JamieLogical Best of luck to you as you begin putting yourself out there again!
My boyfriend of nearly three years broke up with me a few weeks after my surgery. I took about six months off to concentrate on myself and my health before I decided I was ready to date again. I had some of the same thoughts you're having.
It was really interesting to date as a much thinner person. I loved that I didn't feel the need to give a disclaimer about my weight when I met someone online and scheduled a date in person. I could comfortably post full-length photos of myself on my profile.
I'm still losing. I have maybe 30 pounds to go? I'm unsure how much loose skin will affect that. I'm sticking with the plan and waiting to see what my body does. That said, I haven't had plastics and I do have loose skin. I also have very fair skin, so my scars are still very visible, even after nine months.
I worried some about when to tell a new partner about my surgery. I went on several dates with a guy visiting my city on business. He was curious about why I was eating so little. I just said I'd eaten earlier and stuff like that. He wasn't around long enough to get into all the details.
I ended up telling my now boyfriend on our first date. I'm a private person so that's really unusual for me. Somehow I just knew it was okay. He didn't judge me one iota. In fact, he thought it was awesome. He's very supportive and encourages me to continue putting my health first.
Exercise also has a heavy impact on my schedule. During the week, I wake up an hour and a half early several days for long walks with my dogs. I also work out for an hour to hour and a half almost every evening. By the time I get home, shower, get ready, feed my dogs, etc, it's 8 or 9 p.m. and I'm tired! We spend a lot of time together on the weekends and we're working things out for during the week. I'm just really happy to be with someone who thinks I'm a badass for all the work I've done/am doing!

Taking diet advice from sugar Water people is almost as dumb as:


T

Congratulations, you are in maintenance. At this point your caloric deficit is around zero, or negative a bit if you are gaining regularly. To continue losing you need to get that caloric deficit in the positive again, by reducing your consumption or dramatically increasing your activity levels (exercise); we tend to need more exercise than we expect so this rarely brings about the expected result unless one goes into marathon-training mode. Increasing Protein isn't going to do much nutritionally if you are already consuming what is needed to maintain your lean body mass - excess is just excreted or stored as fat. Likewise, fiddling with carbs may produce some temporary changes due to body Water retention/excretion, but nothing in the long term unless it promotes less overall consumption. Changing these things might alter your hunger or satiety (carbs, particularly the junky ones tend to induce more cravings leading to overeating, Proteins tend to be more satisfying, curbing hunger longer,) but the fundamental change needed is to reduce your overall intake.

Disclaimer: MY experience and opinion
I had the same experience. I finally had to come to come to grips with it. I am never getting to that goal weight I had in my head. It was a bitter pill to swallow. So I had to take a closer look at the progress I made, the physical and mental changes (all improvements) and my general state of improved happiness due to the success I had. Just because I would like to be a different number doesn't detract from the huge success I've had. I'm a very healthy size 8, 53 year old woman who looks better than I did at 33. So it's all perspective. And I made a decision - to be ok with it, and not feel like a failure over something that probably wasn't worth the effort because it wasn't going to add value to my life, and was more likely to do the opposite.
Having said that, it doesn't mean you can't get there. Lower your calories, exercise more...there's probably something you can do. For me, eating 800 calories and exercising an hour a day might have done it, but I don't want to live like that FOREVER. It is a fact that the closer we get to goal, the harder it becomes for most of us. When you hit that wall, something will need to change if you want to keep losing.

So, I was in a slight funk yesterday for a couple of reasons... almost cancelled my date with M but decided to go - glad I did.
We talked about alot of things, but at some point I worked into the conversation that I can be a bit self protective when getting to know someone and he replied "well, you should be".
He told me he feels honored that I am comfortable enough to be letting him into my life which was a good answer to a question I didn't even ask. It was a short conversation and in the larger context of some things we were discussing it fit without putting too much into it. I am glad I was able to talk it all out with my "imaginary friends" here on BP first - made it alot clearer in my own mind about my feelings on the topic and I feel a certain relief that he is not experiencing any of this negatively - at least for now. So, thank you.

Oh how I love this thread! I don't agree with everyone, but how boring would it be if we all agreed on everything?
I HATE the term "Fat Acceptance". I refuse to participate in that. I've been part of numerous conversations with various groups of people, and those who have adopted the "I'm FAT - get over it!" attitude. Fat is a label, but it is far more than just a descriptive like having blonde hair or long legs or blue eyes. It is NOT the same, at least not to me. I refuse to embrace something that is universally accepted as derogatory.
Now, talk to me about Body Acceptance, and I'm all over that. I have been a part of that movement, and it did me far more good than chasing after that imaginary perfect workout regime or fad diet. It validated for me that it's ok to be imperfect and to take pride in how I look. I've always been a hair and makeup girl, but that was really based on the idea that if my hair was fabulous and my green eyes were glowing, maybe they wouldn't notice or care that I was 100 lbs overweight. I realized that it is ok to just love myself in the moment, and do the best I can with what I have, and to never look away from the people I caught staring at my stomach. I can now catch their eye and give them a big friendly smile, and most times, they smile back. I hope that they remember my smile and not my big fat droopy belly.
I have also had countless debates with people on social media and in person about the fat is unhealthy topic. I have never had any weight related illnesses, and I'm 52 years old. No Hypertension, no high cholesterol, nothing. Perfect labs every year. My doctor has told me I am healthier than she is many times. So yeah, I'm not going to jump on that bandwagon and toss statistics around like I'm an expert on obesity related conditions. Of course I KNOW that they exist, I work in healthcare and I see it all the time. However, being fat is not always a precursor to dropping dead of a heart attack or stoke.
These days, my hips and back cause me pain. This is not caused by my weight, it is caused by arthritis and the natural aging process. I'm hoping that my weight loss will alleviate some of that, and it's part of the reason I had surgery. I also need to get my ass out of this big boy office chair and move around more. I'm working on that.
I've followed a lot of Plus Size bloggers and models, and of course I don't agree with some of the crazy things they say, but most of them are realistic about their issues and know that eventually, being overweight is going to take its toll. But for now, they are loving themselves in the moment and enjoying the fact that there are millions of people who consider them beautiful and deserving of the attention they are getting. I was reading one of my favorite bloggers pages yesterday and it linked me to a recent discussion about the use of the term "Plus Size". One designer's comments really moved me:
"I remember the ballet instructor telling me that I would never be small enough to be a ballerina and even if I was, It would kill me to force my body to be something it never wanted to be. That was the first time in my life I ever felt ugly and ashamed of my figure, I think I was 8 yrs old. I remember crying to my Grandmother that I needed to tape my breasts down and get my body thinner so I could be a ballerina. My grandmother said, ‘Girl, these big bones and full bodies are the strength of the women in this family; they were passed down to you in your blood.’ She told me the story of my body. She talked about how I had her mother’s eyes, her sister’s broad shoulders, her cousin’s hips, and the breasts of every woman in the family. Something about that talk made me so proud that I was connected in this unique way with the women in my family."
THAT is the message that I get from these "movements". We need to be encouraged to love ourselves and do our best. If your best is having WLS and getting healthy, then that is awesome. I think that if we are having surgery in order to love ourselves, we are going to find that being overweight wasn't really the problem to begin with. I loved myself just as much as when I weighed 327 lbs as I do now. It took me a while to figure that out, but I am glad that I did, and I have a huge appreciation and admiration for these Plus Size women who have taken on the fight to be accepted as they are, in all their big fat awesomeness.
Here's the link to that article, if anyone is interested.
http://www.plus-model-mag.com/2016/04/keeptheplus-keep-using-term-plus-size/

Yes ma'am! I'm having a lift/reduction on 1/22! And I can't wait! Insurance is paying for it to boot, so I feel pretty lucky! I'm sure this surgery/ recovery will be smooth ????

I was such a big bundle of nerves before my lower body lift last year! I was so worried about being under anesthesia for 6 hours and how I would manage the pain afterwards. But those issues ended up being fine, and other issues cropped up that I never would have predicted!
The fact is, a lot of this is ultimately out of your control. I decided that however my surgeries ultimately turned out, I would see a huge improvement in my body as a result. And any reputable plastic surgeon will stand by their work and fix what needs to be fixed, free of charge, until you are happy with the results. Things do eventually work out.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.
I was able to walk down the aisle of the plane without turning sideways. WHAT???? I thought only flight attendants did that!
On the flight home, the exit row seats were the same kind as on a bulkhead row - fixed armrests with the tray table in the armrest. I fit comfortably with no problem. And I was able to bend forward, with the seat belt on, to pick up something off the floor.
OH MY GAWD! IT'S LIKE I'M A NORMAL PERSON!

I was such a big bundle of nerves before my lower body lift last year! I was so worried about being under anesthesia for 6 hours and how I would manage the pain afterwards. But those issues ended up being fine, and other issues cropped up that I never would have predicted!
The fact is, a lot of this is ultimately out of your control. I decided that however my surgeries ultimately turned out, I would see a huge improvement in my body as a result. And any reputable plastic surgeon will stand by their work and fix what needs to be fixed, free of charge, until you are happy with the results. Things do eventually work out.

@@Elode You'll be fine! The first couple of weeks are a little rough, but that passes quickly. That's a blip on the radar of your life. It's really worth it. You just can't predict how much pain you'll have, or how you'll feel about it. You might be one of those people who find that it's not that bad. The good news is that you can get relief from it. Even at the worst, most painful days, it was very tolerable when I was still.

Not much! He just kind of politely shut her down. I do know that he was adamant with me from our first meeting on that all NSAIDS were off the menu forevermore. So I guess he was trying to not make the same mistake twice.