Pelekania

Equality House. .
I read the article yesterday, I love when Aaron purchased the place how he said some of the church members were so cordial and pleasant.......nothing like a wolf in sheepskin clothing.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

I am still early out, but I think some time people that are overweight can have a look or demeanor about them which makes them unapproachable. When I don't want to deal with people, I display that look. Even though I am overweight I still get alot of attention and noticed by both sexes. Whether its a compliment on my looks or wardrobe or someone trying to flirt. So while I know alot of overweight people say thst they were treated differently sometimes it's because of the energy we are giving off. Just an opinion from a different perspective.

You are doing great! Try not to compare yourself with othetrs because it can be a real ego killer.

I for one didn't have the sleeve to be on a diet for the rest of my life! For my Snacks (if I can fit them in) I eat whatever. i choose to, but it mostly include fruit, cheese, cup of choc milk, and wheat thins. If I have a taste for ice cream, I will have a tablespoon or two. Seafood and some chicken feels better eating than beef. But I have been able to pretty much eat anything with no adverse reaction especially salad and.eggs.

I get you on this subject. Totally. I do believe that you are probably getting a little more attention because of the combination of you losing weight and also having a little more confidence.
I have always felt beautiful. I know a lot of this is being married to someone who makes me feel beautiful and desired. However, I have a friend who was my age (39) and had never been married or in a serious relationship. One night we went out with a group of friends. She was complaining about how she was little and thin and guys never noticed her. This happened after a guy came to our table and Tried to talk to me. I was overweight by probably 75-80 lbs at the time. Her not getting attention was completely a self confidence issue. If she would walk across the bar and look people in the eye and smile, guys would see her as approachable. Instead she had her head down all the time. Confidence is sexy at any size. So I am guessing you might be rocking your new body, without even knowing what a hottie you are!

Thanks! I really don't understand how she could have totally misinterpreted what I wrote. I guess sometime the ugly truth can hurt if we are not yet ready to take some accountability for the role that we sometime play.
I am not saying the OP is wrong because ppl like that exist, I am only stating that sometimes we use certain defense mechanisms to shield us from experiencing a past negative reaction or comment or anything we have gotten from someone.

Wow, I apologize if this hit a nerve for you, but if you carefully reread my post you will see that I was not judging anyone but giving a personal account of how I and other people who are overweight can be non-approachable. Especially at my heaviest, I really didnt want to be seen or noticed or talked to by anyone because I didnt want to be noticed even more as being the overweight fat girl who has a problem saying no food.
Everything that you stated above MUST be how YOU feel about YOURSELF and how you believe others perceive YOU to be....because in no way did I insinuate or come even close to those things!

Being overweight has made me feel invisible. I am still far from thin, but have been getting many compliments and comments from co-workers, relatives and friends. I really believe that my demeanor has improved. I know that I smile more, walk more confidently and hold myself more erect (snort! I have the sense of humor of a 14-year old boy.)
Pelekania, I totally agree with you about the energy people give off impacts how they are treated. I figure that I can feel good, mentally and physically, and let that rule how I respond to others.

I tried some of the "light" ice cream after struggling with an ice cream craving for a couple weeks and it was so terrible. No flavor, no nothing. This week I had a little bit of real ice cream and it was delicious. No more than 1/4 cup and I was good to go. Savored the heck outta it and regret nothing!

If I could still eat ice cream (lactose intolerance makes me sad) I'd go for a teeny portion of the real deal over fake stuff any day! It's far more satisfying and made of ingredients you can pronounce.
That said, I have many WLS friends that swear by eggface's Protein ice cream so you should definitely take that link OTR so kindly posted and check it out.
~Cheri

I take issue with that sentiment...just because someone stays in a relationship with you when you were fat (whether he/she loves you or not) does not mean you "owe" them some sort of loyalty...you say that as if being fat is some kind of moral failure or defect...I could somewhat see your point if you had said something like "he stood by your side when you battled cancer..." also in some cases, like when a spouse keeps changing jobs, it is a deliberate choice being made and not something like getting an illness, gaining weight, getting laid off when your employer goes bankrupt

People will act anyway we allow them to act. My husband works at a job he hates, but he knows that he can't leave until he finds another job, something he has been trying to do for two years now. I also had to put my foot down as I know he would have quit 2 years ago if I didn't issue the ultimatum. Sometimes men need to be reminded that Grown ups have responsibilities and need to put their family before their own needs!

I will be blunt: he sounds like a loser. You could do so much better. I say dump him and find someone who shows you by his deeds and hard work how much he respects you and your family. You don't need that kind of stress.
-Kendra

I say leave! It's clear that You have tried to make things work! But let's be honest it takes 2! And he seems not to be trying. I'm sorry but it seems like he needs to grow the hell up!! He has a family to care for! Why is he wanting to leave his job?! Does he not know how hard it is to find a good job!?
Me and my husband have issues but He takes care of home! I will give him that. His job closed down 3 years ago but he took another job that same week. It didn't pay like we were used to but it was a start. Now with all his raises we are making almost the same. However he hates this job with a passion! He is steady looking for another one. He has even done job interviews out of state! That's how bad he wants to change but he knows he can't just up and leave his current job and he wouldn't even if he could. I just don't understand men that don't want to take care of home! My brother in law is the same way. He always wants to change jobs and let m sister take care of everything.
Hopefully everything works out but if he leaves his Job without another one lined up he would be on his own!!

Marriage is hard. My husband and i have been married for 7 years and have been through hell together. He was one who lost his job at the beginning of the "recession" and still hasn't been able to find any meaningful work. It is very stressful but we talk a lot, keep communication open and always listen to the other ones feeling, even if they seem silly. Of course we have rough times, but i honestly can't imagine my life without him, he balances me, and i him. It's not perfect by any means, but we are happy. It's a very hard choice to make, but if he is not taking your feelings into consideration at all, maybe it is time to sit down and have a tough talk. " I know your not happy, but can you hang in there just till we get over this patch? Or at least have another job lined up and waiting before you quit?" kind of thing. A marriage should not be a one sided thing. from time to time yes a little bit but never in the big areas. If he has no interest in hearing you out or coming to a compromise about the situation, you will have to decide if he is still the right person for you. Has this behavior happened before? you should be one unit working together toward common goals, and supporting each other fully. If he can't be that for you, and hasn't in the past, it may be time to move on. Do not compromise your happiness, it's not fair to either of you.

Still, would be nice that they tell you that before you start coughing up the blood right

Nah. I just don't like the fact that you appear to be a know it all ****

I had surgery in Mexico, though I did not use her surgeon. My experience in no way was similar to her experience. I know the OP says she spoke to a lot of people and they all had the same experience as her, but my experience has been the opposite. First of all, colored pee wouldn't have even fazed me, considering that my Multivitamins color my pee too (because of the Vitamin B I believe?) so I'm not surprised that a blue dye would color your pee green. I did not use her coordinator so while her experience with her coordinator does sound bad, mine was not like that. The naked on the OR table does not seem to be an issue at the hospital I went to. Diarrhea is a common effect from surgery so that didn't bother me either, I had diarrhea after giving birth vaginally AND a c-section, so it's just how the body reacts to things like this. So none of this made me run the other way, because I did do my research before going. I didn't just have a kneejerk reaction that "OMG Mexico = bad!" like you seemed to have. We did our research, so that's why it's strange that someone who admittedly did NO research is coming here to tell people that they shouldn't have surgery in Mexico.

I'm sure there will be a lot of different advice on this. I've been trying to get better at listening to my body through all of this.
If it were me I'd serve up a small amount in a bowl. I'd add a small amount of cheese and sour cream, but only enough so the Beans weren't bland.
I'd eat them until I felt satisfied but no over full.

And even white ones, hispanic ones, asian ones...

RCT - First of all, Mexico is NOT a third world country. You are obviously ignorant on the options in Mexico and making judgements. We don't need people to bring those of us down that are struggling with Obesity and are looking for ways to make our life better and regain our health and happiness. We are here to encourage, support and inform. And lastly the correct form of the verb is RUN. You would have RUN out of there not ran.

Like you, I have really good insurance and could of haf my surgery done here. However, I did not want to do the 6 month diet and other requirements, I could have lost an entire person by the end of that! I could have also saved some more money and had surgery here, but why not pay less and go to a doctor who frequently does the surgery.
My experience in MX was quite different then the OP.Probably the best care I have ever reveived...from the attentive nurses and doctors!
My surgery was delayed and come to find out my anesthesiologist's son and many others died while on a field trip in America.