Frederic

I will admit I haven't been around the forums as much but that's because I've been successful, It's unfortunately true that the more successful you are with the band the less motivation you have to hang out on internet forums and talk about.
But I want to show support for all of you new Bandsters out there. Feel free to send me a message if you have questions.
The long and short of it is that I have continued to lose weight at a steady pace by watching my calories and exercising as regularly as possible. I've had no complications from the band of any kind yet.

I will admit I haven't been around the forums as much but that's because I've been successful, It's unfortunately true that the more successful you are with the band the less motivation you have to hang out on internet forums and talk about.
But I want to show support for all of you new Bandsters out there. Feel free to send me a message if you have questions.
The long and short of it is that I have continued to lose weight at a steady pace by watching my calories and exercising as regularly as possible. I've had no complications from the band of any kind yet.

I will admit I haven't been around the forums as much but that's because I've been successful, It's unfortunately true that the more successful you are with the band the less motivation you have to hang out on internet forums and talk about.
But I want to show support for all of you new Bandsters out there. Feel free to send me a message if you have questions.
The long and short of it is that I have continued to lose weight at a steady pace by watching my calories and exercising as regularly as possible. I've had no complications from the band of any kind yet.

I will admit I haven't been around the forums as much but that's because I've been successful, It's unfortunately true that the more successful you are with the band the less motivation you have to hang out on internet forums and talk about.
But I want to show support for all of you new Bandsters out there. Feel free to send me a message if you have questions.
The long and short of it is that I have continued to lose weight at a steady pace by watching my calories and exercising as regularly as possible. I've had no complications from the band of any kind yet.

I will admit I haven't been around the forums as much but that's because I've been successful, It's unfortunately true that the more successful you are with the band the less motivation you have to hang out on internet forums and talk about.
But I want to show support for all of you new Bandsters out there. Feel free to send me a message if you have questions.
The long and short of it is that I have continued to lose weight at a steady pace by watching my calories and exercising as regularly as possible. I've had no complications from the band of any kind yet.

Do you do toe lifts (standing on the balls of your feet) or run? I used to have amazing calves from spending hours on the balls if my feet during fighter practice now that I'm older I've noticed my calves seem to be shaping up again when I can run consistently nothing major just a few minutes a day.

Alex I find that the sleeve and bypass folks like to troll on the lapband forums and bash the bandsters. I am very discouraged by the constant barrage of negativity regarding the band. I had hoped that the combination of all of the WLS forums would not result in a contest to see whose surgery was the best but it's obvious that the ease with which they can come to our forum and post negative about the lapband is too much. I would respectfully request that you or someone moniter some of this behavior. I think if it continues I will withdraw from visiting the Bariatric pal site. There are positive sites I can visit to get information and encouragement.

i am in total 100% agreement with what Sharpie wrote.
this is one reason i no longer post as much as i use to..
its one thing to say my WLS works for me and then say (the band or whatever)
does not work ......as that is not true......any WLS works and any WLS does not work..with all things, results will vary.

I think this is the best advice. I guess I'm cut from a different cloth than most people. I would just keep on keeping on and move on. If nothing else has changed in the relationship, I wouldn't rock the boat (but that's just me) I think eventually, true friends WILL talk about it.... But wait till after she weds.

This is my experience as well. The more people hide their WLS the more it seems like something to be ashamed of. If I'd known how common WLS really was I could have benefitted from it over 10yrs ago. Nit to mention situations like this where you're angry (or at least upset) at a friend because they're not commenting on a secret your keeping from them.
Have you considered the possibility your frustration is really just a misplaced and unnecessary feeling of guilt? Are you seeking validation of your weight loss because you're having a hard time acknowledging you needed/wanted WLS?
I don't know your friend but I can say that everything your feeling is from how you're perceiving things. You have made a major decision and had excellent results. Seeking validation from others is a dark path filled with self doubt. I would encourage you to feel proud of your actual results regardless of anyone else noting them.

I encourage you to ask yourself why this situation bothers you.
What does it matter if she notices your weight loss? If you guilt her into complimenting you, will it even mean anything? Does your friendship hinge on your relative appearance?

I guess I see my friendships differently -- which is just different, not necessarily better or worse. I like that my best friend sees me -- not weight. I've never felt defined by my size. My friend is beautiful and thin, but she's always made me feel beautiful, too. She's not jealous of me -- and when I was her MOH, I'd never want to take attention away from her special day. I don't think people who truly love us think about weight like we do. She hasn't said anything about the 80 pounds I've lost, and frankly, I don't need her to. For me, validation about my weight loss comes from within. Again, not better or worse, just a different perspective.

Why is it so important that other people acknowledge your weight loss? To me, this is the real question.

There is a middle ground between gushing about WLS and keeping it a secret. I only mention my WLS if somebody asks. I have nothing to be ashamed of I worked hard before the surgery and I still work hard after the surgery the difference is my hard work actually generates results now. I just hate the idea of WLS being this thing only whispered about in secret and treated like something to be ashamed of. People don't keep tonsillectomies a secret or kidney stones. I believe WLS should be no different.

This is my experience as well. The more people hide their WLS the more it seems like something to be ashamed of. If I'd known how common WLS really was I could have benefitted from it over 10yrs ago. Nit to mention situations like this where you're angry (or at least upset) at a friend because they're not commenting on a secret your keeping from them.
Have you considered the possibility your frustration is really just a misplaced and unnecessary feeling of guilt? Are you seeking validation of your weight loss because you're having a hard time acknowledging you needed/wanted WLS?
I don't know your friend but I can say that everything your feeling is from how you're perceiving things. You have made a major decision and had excellent results. Seeking validation from others is a dark path filled with self doubt. I would encourage you to feel proud of your actual results regardless of anyone else noting them.

As rediculous as it might sound, yes, it could come down to that. You didn't feel comfortable sharing your surgery with her, she's either oblivious to your loss or respecting your privacy by not saying anything. You say this is a very close friend of over 20 years, but you don't see each other more than once per month, and you're upset about her not noticing. If you bring this up with her, you risk the friendship. If you don't, you're going to have to deal with it until she finally notices.
I lost 100 lbs. All but one of my close friends live far away. I told them I was having the surgery, but when I saw them, there was no "OMG" moment. I didn't care...I was happy to see them.

This thread really seems to illustrate some key differences in how men and women perceive friendship.
I've always been amazed at how differently the genders process these kinds of relationships.

This thread really seems to illustrate some key differences in how men and women perceive friendship.
I've always been amazed at how differently the genders process these kinds of relationships.

This is my experience as well. The more people hide their WLS the more it seems like something to be ashamed of. If I'd known how common WLS really was I could have benefitted from it over 10yrs ago. Nit to mention situations like this where you're angry (or at least upset) at a friend because they're not commenting on a secret your keeping from them.
Have you considered the possibility your frustration is really just a misplaced and unnecessary feeling of guilt? Are you seeking validation of your weight loss because you're having a hard time acknowledging you needed/wanted WLS?
I don't know your friend but I can say that everything your feeling is from how you're perceiving things. You have made a major decision and had excellent results. Seeking validation from others is a dark path filled with self doubt. I would encourage you to feel proud of your actual results regardless of anyone else noting them.

This thread really seems to illustrate some key differences in how men and women perceive friendship.
I've always been amazed at how differently the genders process these kinds of relationships.

Remind me why you're going to be this birds bridesmaid again?
For the life of me, I can't fathom it.
@Frederic. I think I love you.

There is a middle ground between gushing about WLS and keeping it a secret. I only mention my WLS if somebody asks. I have nothing to be ashamed of I worked hard before the surgery and I still work hard after the surgery the difference is my hard work actually generates results now. I just hate the idea of WLS being this thing only whispered about in secret and treated like something to be ashamed of. People don't keep tonsillectomies a secret or kidney stones. I believe WLS should be no different.

This thread really seems to illustrate some key differences in how men and women perceive friendship.
I've always been amazed at how differently the genders process these kinds of relationships.

This is my experience as well. The more people hide their WLS the more it seems like something to be ashamed of. If I'd known how common WLS really was I could have benefitted from it over 10yrs ago. Nit to mention situations like this where you're angry (or at least upset) at a friend because they're not commenting on a secret your keeping from them.
Have you considered the possibility your frustration is really just a misplaced and unnecessary feeling of guilt? Are you seeking validation of your weight loss because you're having a hard time acknowledging you needed/wanted WLS?
I don't know your friend but I can say that everything your feeling is from how you're perceiving things. You have made a major decision and had excellent results. Seeking validation from others is a dark path filled with self doubt. I would encourage you to feel proud of your actual results regardless of anyone else noting them.

There is a middle ground between gushing about WLS and keeping it a secret. I only mention my WLS if somebody asks. I have nothing to be ashamed of I worked hard before the surgery and I still work hard after the surgery the difference is my hard work actually generates results now. I just hate the idea of WLS being this thing only whispered about in secret and treated like something to be ashamed of. People don't keep tonsillectomies a secret or kidney stones. I believe WLS should be no different.