gowalking

Congrats! You've just doubled your dating pool.

After losing 100 lbs. I looked at myself in the mirror and had no idea who was staring back at me. I was fortunate enough to find a therapist with experience working with weight loss patients and I've been seeing her for over two years now working on getting to the heart of my issues. As many know, the weight is a symptom of whatever our issues are. It took me such a long time to even acknowledge that for me, being fat meant I could hide the things that hurt me. Now that there's no fat to hide behind, I'm having to face those issues head on and learn how to deal with them. It's very much a work in progress so know that what you are going through, many others have gone through as well. In my opinion, there's no way we can change our outside so drastically without changing what made us so self destructive in the first place. If you find that you are having difficulties with all the changes, don't hesitate to speak with a professional. If you are getting the help and support you need from your husband and other loved ones, you may be able to identify your new self with time alone.

I missed the bacon thread. Probably skipped it because I knew what it would be about. I'm not here to help those who don't want it. I am here to help those who are terrified of the new life they are starting because I was in those shoes back in December 2012 as I waited to get my lap band. I expected to fail and eat myself to death. Instead I've gotten my life back and am grateful every day to those vets on these boards who helped me in a way that no one in the surgeon's office possibly could. I won't let stupid win and I hope you reconsider @Kindle. As you can see by the posts, there are more like us than those who look to fail. Please don't go. Liz

You're right. Being a grownup sucks. I was reminiscing with a college friend several months ago about how much fun we had when we were young and stupid. I remember telling her it's too bad we had to grow up because now I know too much to ever be happy again. I know your story and how much loss you have endured. You may never find 'big happy' again so try to look for 'little happy' moments instead. Appreciate a beautiful sunset...give thanks for a good day even if it's just an ordinary one. Ordinary is good when one experiences so much tragedy. Hold a baby. Smile at something that strikes you as funny. Do something that makes you feel good even if it's indulgent. Especially if it's indulgent. One step at a time my dear...one step at a time.

oh sure. especially when they put the IV in. it's not just a needle..it's a whole to do with IVs and taping everything down. but like I said...it's not a big deal in the end.

Thanks for sharing Kindle. Some years after my 39 year old husband passed suddenly, I began to truly realize the definition of being a grown up. It's when you really start to understand that life is not always fair. {{hugs}} to you.

I had the chemical stress test Joe. I had terrible joint pain and couldn't walk the treadmill fast enough to get my heart rate up. It's an odd feeling because you get the injection and your heart starts to pound, but there's no pain and it eases up fairly quickly. Nothing to worry about, I assure you.

I watched that episode and I'm thinking this is how the show gets people hooked so they watch. Everyone is waiting for her to have that aha moment and I think she's had it but knows that people won't watch her getting thinner/healthier. They would rather watch her continue the denial she's in and just stay fat. I don't think she has much of a choice if she wants to stay on TV. Watch the way her folks approach her weight issues. Especially dad. He keeps talking to the 'audience' about how she doesn't change anything up and she needs to, but it never goes anywhere. They show her eating tuna and noodles which any of us knows is not a good choice. I'm pretty certain Whitney knows it's not a good choice either. I really am thinking this whole program is about fat shaming and while Whitney may think she's empowered, she's not. Whoever is paying her to stay fat....and they are....have the power. She surely does not.

I know you said money is a bit tight, but do something indulgent for yourself. Maybe a mani/pedi or a massage if the cost is not too dear. How about a book you've wanted to read or a movie you may have wanted to see for a while. Why not binge watch a show you've been meaning to see. It's just about doing something that makes you feel special.

Congratulations! Can I just tell you how much I like your forum name. High functioning fat man. Spectacular.

Keep me posted on what the tests say, OK?

Oh Lisa...crap, crap, and more crap. I'm so sorry to hear of this detour. I really hope that it can be resolved quickly and you can get back to 'normal'. What about Ken? Is he having any issues as well or no? Are you OK with the practice you have now that Geiss is retired? Any possibility of needing (or wanting) a revision to another type of surgery? I know how hard you work to be successful and I'd hate for something to mess that up.

I too have and am going through body dysmorphia. I did not realize till I looked at pictures of myself, just how large I was. Nor did I recognize the thin woman I became. I was and still am, in therapy for issues related to self image. I will tell you honestly that the only reason I know both pictures are you is because you posted them both. There has been a massive change in you likely on this inside as well as the outside. I know there are lots of folks who say nothing has changed but the shape of their bodies. I believe that. I also believe there are plenty of people like you and I who do not recognize the changes. My sister thinks I've gotten vain. I have not. I take alot of pictures so I can reinforce how I look in reality instead of just in my head. And so you don't think I'm talking out my a**, here are some of my before and after shots. I don't think it looks like the same person either...

'significant others' will often go for the soft spot when in the midst of an argument, or breaking up...or just wanting to lash out. Just know that if something else about yourself was an issue, he would have gone for that as well. If I was your age, I'd have done plastics as well. I opted not to because the skin sag is not horrible in that it doesn't interfere with my normal activities plus I've had children and I'm nearly 58 years old. Oh..and one more thing. Men my age I have found, are just so happy to be getting 'some' that they couldn't care less about some sags and scars. Besides..they have also passed their 'sell by' date as well. Good luck! Send us post plastic pics so we can see how great the results turned out.

Hello all! I recently went to a seminar for the sleeve and have my consultation with the DR in june. I really wanted the sleeve but my insurance will only cover the lapband, so I am going to go with that. I am 400lbs. I am young but have high cholesterol, high bp (controlled with meds) arrythmia (cardiologist cleared me for surgery) and am risk of heart disease. so it needs to happen. I have been seeing a dietitian and have done many diets. I lose a little bit and thats it. I am concerned it will not help me to lose enough weight to get to where I want to be (180) Anyone in here around my weight and get down to that goal weight? Any pros/cons you can share with me? I am excited to get it done already!! Look at my stats. I was morbidly obese...only five feet tall and 267 lbs. My PCP said I'd only lose 40 lbs. with the band but I went ahead with it anyway because I didn't want my insides messed around with nor did I want my stomach cut out. I didn't lose 40 lbs. I lost 140 lbs. I am 127 lbs. now and have been for two years or so. Don't presume you can't lose alot of weight if you have the band. Good luck with whatever surgery you get.

Welcome back! Missed your posts as well and would love to discuss politics..or anything else for that matter.

..all these names of folks who don't post much anymore...or who are just gone. Makes me a little sad..

I agree with the gender specific areas as well. I suspect most folks don't realize they are posting in the wrong area but if you are in the women's room or men's room specifically, you should not have to read posts from those of the opposite sex.

So sorry to hear your experience has been so poor with the band. I'm one of the ones who've done well with it. Glad to hear that you are revising to bypass. Am hoping you will be able to change the title of this post to 'My Story HAS a Happy Ending'. Good luck!

FYI...I just read that she wrote a book all about accepting yourself at any size and not being fat shamed. When you cry on camera because an incident upset you so much, you have NOT accepted yourself at any size. You just think you have.

I'm so glad you had 39 years with him. I envy you... What can I say hon...it's a process and some days are better than others. There's no timeframe and you just need to go with your gut. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it...whatever that may be. If you are sad, be sad. If you are having a good time, don't feel guilty..just go with it. If you've ever been to or seen a Jewish wedding, you know that the groom smashes a glass with his foot and then the guests all cry out 'Mazel Tov'. The broken glass represents the destruction of the temple which is and was the saddest thing that happened to the ancient Jews. We are commanded to always remember this, especially in the face of our happiest moments. I liken widowhood to that. No matter how happy or wonderful something is, there is just that reminder that you are experiencing this without him. Everything has a bittersweet note now. Alan is gone 22 years. I barely remember his voice yet I don't watch the videos because it's still hard to. I'm glad that you are going on vacation and have not retreated from the world. You will find your place again, and Bill's passing will eventually become part of the story of your life. As I said before, it's not about getting past this, or moving forward, or heaven forbid, getting over this. You never get over the death of a beloved spouse. You come to an acceptance. It happens over time and you don't suddenly realize it...you just know at some point that it's happened. Be good to yourself...take care of yourself, and always feel free to reach out to me if you want or need to. Liz.

How 'bout Lisa and Bandista? They would probably be interested as well.

I weigh myself nearly every morning. I'm not obsessive, it's just a way for me to keep on top of my intake as I'm in maintenance. So after a dinner out last night....and a couple of cocktails, I expected there might be a small gain today. I was more than a pound up from yesterday morning so I figured it was water as I know I didn't go to town foodwise. To my surprise, I felt the need to eliminate before even having breakfast which is unusual for me. After taking care of business..and knowing I got rid of more than expected, for the heck of it, I got back on the scale and suddenly that pound plus was less than a half pound gain. So when you get on the scale, know that if you made good choices, don't freak out if the scale doesn't do what you expect as you too, might be full of sh*t. Haha!

Tag him and anyone else you are missing!! I can't remember everyone's exact names. We need MrPhoto, the biker guy, some of those darn aussies, etc. Tag them all! Hey...what am I, chopped liver?? LOL!

Hi Tiffany. So sorry for what you are going through. I can tell you that I had similar feelings when I got a breast cancer diagnosis. I didn't have to deal with loss of my reproductive future, but the future was similar to yours in one specific way. My tumor was ER+ which meant I had to go on anti-estrogen meds to stop the cancer from feeding on what estrogen I still had even as a post-menopausal woman. So I now have symptoms of menopause again...hot flashes, sweating, etc. and I also was told I might gain weight from taking the meds. I actually was more afraid of weight gain than cancer re-occurrence. I begged my oncologist to agree to let me go on without taking those meds as absurd as that sounds. I actually went into therapy after the diagnosis because I felt as though my body was betraying me so please consider if necessary, getting professional help to assist you while you are dealing with such a devastating situation. It's not a sign of weakness, but strength when you know you need help. Good luck to you dear and know that we are thinking of you here on the forum.