gowalking

The most awkward part of WLS is knowing the only option I had left was surgery. I was so out of control that nothing short of medical intervention was needed. I'm still so ashamed of that. It's why I'm so happy that after more than two years at goal, no one makes comments about how great I look. I know that seems odd, but for every compliment I got, it was a reminder to me how large I had become. I know...I know. Believe me...there's a reason I'm in therapy....

I was banded 3 1/2 years ago and at goal for more than two years. My younger son, who I am very close with, mistakenly believed that I can't overeat. I found out yesterday because we were talking about my possibly getting fat again and he said, well, you can't overeat so why would you get fat again? I had to let him know that it's easy to gain it back. Yes...even with surgery we can all get fat again. What I have found in my experience, is that the band helps me to keep on track but that doesn't mean I haven't gone off track on occasion. Because I have. I'm not perfect...no one is. So the message here is not so much how non surgical folks don't get our experience...I'm realizing there will always likely be a basic misunderstanding of WLS. And that's coming from family all the way to strangers. It still bothers me when they say that someone lost weight the natural way, or old fashioned way. People still and likely always will misunderstand this. More importantly though...is my understanding that I will always till the day I die, have to make choices about what I put in my mouth. I think those of us with food issues don't always realize that most of the normal sized world makes these choices daily. For us though, it's not a normal way of looking at food...because we never saw or see food in a normal way. Especially if we are emotional eaters and the weight is a symptom of deeper issues. Sorry that I'm sorta all over the place on this post but I really think that when I experience something and think about how I react to it, or how it impacts me, I figure I'm not alone and I post it. There's always someone out there who says, 'oh...me too'.

Really? I feel your pain. I run several and it seems to be getting a little worse every day. I have yet to figure out why. One of these days these idiots will figure out that "this is anonymous" to a point. At some point, future employers, attorneys, and the NSA can all track it back to them. Well, F them if they can't take the joke. I keep a nice file of those I don't want to ever see in my profession. I will give grace if they are under 25, but if they are older, well dang, they really should have known better. you are so right on this. my ex-boyfriend was in HR and said that he always checked social media and there were plenty of potential interviews and even offers that were rescinded due to 'inappropriate' comments on sites most people have no idea potential employers are looking at.

Testing, testing, 123, 123. OK!! I'm in!

Oh Lisa my friend...what can I do to help and support you? I know dad hasn't been well for a while but I can't imagine readying yourself for his passing. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you. You know you can call me anytime if you need to. Liz

Nice to see you back on the forum. I know you were gone for a while.

When those who are supposed to love and support you, treat you so poorly, it makes the hurt a thousand times worse. I wouldn't presume to tell you to keep your distance from him but maybe that's what you need to do till you are stronger and can ignore his hurtful remarks. My father has always been critical of me in a snarky sort of way and it impacted my whole sense of self worth. He isn't even aware that he did this...but it's impacted me for almost all my life. That's one of the reasons why I dismissed him when he told me to talk to my sister about losing weight. I told him straight out that all that would do would make her avoid me. He didn't even realize that would be the result. He's a very smart man except when he's stupid.

...did you hear her talking about the boyfriend? It's all about her not being alone...and nothing about how crappy he treats her. I suspect this is very typical of relationships/marriages where someone is obese. That's probably the reason why so many marriages end after the obese partner looses weight and decides they need/deserve to be treated better.

I'm laughing up a storm right now. So Ann...tell us how you really feel...

yes, yes!! I was going to say that you should imagine that someone sneezed all over the food...or worse, licked it all. Really...it's a head game and anything goes. I swear...that's what I do when I walk into the kitchen and something yummy is sitting there.

Oh lord...I'm so so sorry. I have no words. I don't know how to cope with constant loss like this. I don't blame you for being angry. It's a very normal reaction in my opinion. I don't want to say to you to just do what you feel like doing food wise. We have to keep on top of how we eat and drink..especially when we are under great stress and I can't imagine anything more stressful than this. Just don't fill yourself with guilt. What's done is done. Follow your plan right now. Yes...keep exercising. It's good for you. If you need meds...take them for now. I wish I could give you more than a virtual hug right now. Post in this thread every day if you need to...multiple times if necessary. Alot of the original group are gone but there are still a few of us around and someone will be here for you. Liz.

Thanks for clarifying! That makes more sense for sure though my PA has never mentioned anything like this to me. Oh, and I've no idea why I've been so successful when others have not. I did nothing special...I just watched my intake and did some exercising...but not extreme. I'm just glad it worked...I was close to being totally immobile when I was banded.

I don't understand. Why would the PA suggest you do something that would make you slime? Am I misinterpreting what you wrote?

Stunning! Spectacular!

I have a lapband and I agree with @Inner Surfer Gal. Make sure you are eating correctly. Also...discuss another fill with the doctor. And lastly...don't live and die with the number on the scale. How clothing fits is a better indicator as you can already see.

OK...I'll post as well. Don't want Julie to feel like a thread killer.. I went with my friend to Dress Barn on Sunday. Haven't been there in years. I bought an adorable black and white skirt with a white top with lace cap sleeves and a lace blue and white skirt with a matching blue cami that I can wear with a white bolero type of coverup that I have at home. I look freakin' cute at work today in the flouncy black and white number. This is so much better than overeating.

Hi Sweetie. I absolutely remember your posts and struggles. I'm beyond happy to see your success. Congratulations on sticking with it and making it through.

Kudos to you for not calling her out on any of this. As others have said, she just isn't ready yet. We've all been mortified over something regarding our size and yet, not all of us had that aha moment at that time. If/when she's ready, be there for her. My beloved sister..my best friend...is morbidly obese as I had been. I desperately want her to be healthy. She is a heart attack waiting to happen and I'm saddened beyond belief to think that I might not grow old with her. I say nothing as she eats herself silly. Calling her out will only make her avoid me and I can't have that. So I wait patiently hoping that she changes things up before I have to bury her. We need to be compassionate...and not judgmental as many of us have 'been there, got the tee shirt'.

Doing a happy dance! You go girl!!

I'm exactly five feet tall. I used to be an extra 1/2 inch taller but no more. So..I understand being 'vertically challenged' and also used to think that a few extra inches of height would help me in terms of being excessivly large. Now that I am normal sized, I see that thinking same as wishing I had won the lottery. Not gonna happen. And being taller would not make my weight issues any easier. Fat is fat and I would have been obese at any height. I simply ate more than I burned. Turns out that I am simply a petite woman. I may not be able to take items off the top shelf of my kitchen cabinets without a step stool, but I fit into almost any space with no issues...and for every man who says I'm too petite for them, ten like a smaller woman. It makes them feel more masculine. This is not a judgement mind you...merely an observation. Here it is in a nutshell. As long as I'm a normal weight, my height is a non issue. Yes...I have to likely eat even less than someone who has six more inches than me, but like one of the posters said, BMI is not the be all end all. It's just one indicator that the medical community uses to determine overall health.

Same here. I not only didn't know if I could do this thing and be successful...I expected to fail. My eating had been so out of control for so long, I couldn't imagine getting through a day without eating to excess. It was very much like when I was on medication to stop smoking. I didn't expect that to work either as I enjoyed smoking. Well...I've been smoke free for ten years and don't expect to ever go back. Same for being normal sized. Not because I'm not tempted..but because my tool helps me usually make good choices. I say usually because as a food addict, I am always tempted.

Over time, as we gain weight, we adapt without even realizing and we're not even aware until we don't fit somewhere or it becomes hard to maneuver, or clothes are too small..or we see a picture of ourselves and it becomes clear how large we have become. So it doesn't surprise me that the opposite can occur both as we lose weight, or even when we have been at goal for a time. I am maintaining for about two years now. I know that's a short time in some ways, but at least I've been this size for a couple of years now and I thought I was pretty much used to being considerably smaller. Yet only yesterday as I was waiting for the light to change so I could continue walking to the train station, I was suddenly aware that I was standing still and not trying to 'fix' my top. What I mean is that for so many years, I was always trying to smooth down my clothing as it would bunch and twist as I'd walk or because my pocketbook was in the way...or whatever. I just know that I was so large that anything that made me look 'sloppy' was something I wanted to avoid. These days, my tops are not long as I don't feel the need to cover the belly. The clothes are not loose on me as I'm not trying to hide my size anymore. It just popped into my head at that moment standing patiently at the curb, that I'm not fussing like I used to. If the shirt is riding up a bit, so what? Anyway...like the title says, this was just a random observation I had. Most of the time I've gotten used to the new size I am but even now, once in a while, I'm reminded how much lighter I am, and I feel. I can't even imagine these days how hard it is and used to be to carry around an extra 140 lbs. on my body.

54 267 140

nice to see there are still folks being banded. I know it gets a bad rap but I've been extremely successful with it and at least I didn't do a more aggressive surgery...which I preferred not to do. Good luck ladies!

I needed a passport to go to Canada so I'd suggest better to have one than not. Getting one is easy. You can download the form online and almost any bigt box store can do your passport photo. Just as an aside..my passport photo is from 2010 and believe me...the officers at the border always have to take a long look as the picture no longer looks like me. I went to London last summer and it was my first trip oversees since I lost the weight and oh boy, do I look different.